Lend A Helping Hand.. The Cat Only Likes Expensive Food!!

Ok..

See my picture?

Right there —>

In the upper right corner..

Yep.. that’s me.

A few posts back I wrote about an opportunity to make a little bit of spare change from writing and I finally took the jump and started my career in quarters! LOL!

No.. seriously.. this is legit.

Basically, whenever you click on one of the posts written on it’s sight, the author gets some money. Not a lot. But it has the potential to add up.

Since I read a lot of blogs and have met A LOT of great writers, like Gary and Tonya and Shelli and Jean and Jen and Marc oh. my. god. the lists goes on .. if you want to do the same, then sign up and we can help each other out.

I was turned onto this by one of my customers, Jennifer Bove.

I am writing this is a rush because I really think my stuffing is burning!!!! But if you have any questions, let me know and I’ll explain everything to you!!

Catching Up With The Crazies…!

.. so I’ve been gone a long time.

I mean.. a REALLY long time. And not for any reason. Well.. there was a reason but not a reason like, moving to the middle of Montana with no internet service.

I can blame it on my iPod Touch. I mean.. if you don’t have one, you may want to get one if you’d like to curl up in a ball and play endless hours of Tap Tap Revenge.

OR I can blame it on the fact that I had an opportunity to actually get paid to write. Like in money. Like the kind of money that you can actually spend :: well.. while it’s actually WORTH anything anyway :: and once that opportunity presented itself, I had no desire to write. Not even a check.. which, yknow, I’m not that fond of doing anyway. But yea.. I had an attack of self doubt which completely shut my brain down.

And then there’s that blasted family tree thing I’m doing.. which basically sapped up my brain cells.. time.. and desire to write. Sort of like replacing one addiction with another. Cuz, yknow.. my family’s hobby IS breeding and my over-achieving self had to do BOTH sides of my family at one time.

Honestly, I didn’t really think too much about it until Tosha @ THAT’S WHY left a comment on an old post asking if I was ok and it dawned on me that I miss you guys.. and I miss writing.. and I miss throwing all my shit out there for the world to see… read.. whatever.

So here I am.. sitting on my bed with the good ol’ laptop.. after having to clean up all the wrappers and crumbs from three boxes of cupcakes that the dogs plowed through while I was at work :: I know two little dogs that are going to have the major runs tonight :: bringing everything up to speed.

So the highlights:

VALENTINE’S DAY

We were still dealing with tons of snow and winter weather but on Valentine’s morning, Chief got up early.. walked.. like in putting one foot in front of the other.. roughly three miles THROUGH THE THIGH DEEP SNOW and bought me flowers.. a bag full of SweetTarts and a locket.

Definitely an AWWWWWW!!! moment.

INTERNERNATIONAL FOOD SHOW

On The Way To NYC Via The NJT

On Feb 28, the two morons :: that being me and Chief :: decided to take Manhattan and attend the International Food Show at the Javits Convention Center… an industry thing with a lot of vendors and products and samples.

Gotta love the samples!

It wasn’t so much a LAST minute decision because we had registered like, a month and a half before but because of the weather and because the wagon was inspected and registered :: still isn’t :: and the van was having transmission problems :: still is :: I wasn’t really that confident in getting there and back without incident.

‘Cause.. yknow.. whenever WE do ANYTHING, there’s “incidents”.

International Food Show

But armed with Chief’s confidence that he can fix anything that went wrong with the van, we made our way up the New Jersey Turnpike armed with coffee and a Tom Tom.

Did I tell you the story about the Tom Tom .. how I don’t like them.. don’t trust them.. and didn’t want one but got one for Christmas because Chief wanted one? Yea.. well.. let me tell you something about that fucking Tom Tom. First of all, you can’t help but argue with it when you actually do know where you’re going and it tells you to go in a different direction. But the worse.. is when you DON’T know where you’re going and the fucking thing tells you to make a left onto a FOUR LANE street with traffic going in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION from the way you’re facing.

Like it did in New York City.

Thankfully.. THANKFULLY .. when we turned the wrong way down the street, traffic was stopped at a red light so I was able to pull over IN FRONT OF AN NYC COP CAR.. :: thankfully unoccupied :: .. and turn the car around. We pulled into the first parking garage that we found and on wobbly knees, walked the six blocks to the Javits.

Yes.. that is a pig WITH it's head still on

I had never been to an industry food show before. Chief had been to this particular one before as a seller not a buyer. I can’t tell you how hard they suck your ass. They must give a class on it or something.

I’m not adventurous with food so I wasn’t doing a lot of tasting. He was.. which was good because the only thing I kept thing was “.. did you SEE how much the hot dog vendor was charging????” But we did come away with a few products that we wanted to start carrying in the shop so it served it’s purpose.

FOOD!!!

We had gotten there early and the good thing about that was by the time the place was filled to capacity, we had seen everything and were ready to chug it back home.

So we make our way back to the parking garage and contrary to everything I’ve heard, it really wasn’t too expensive. Notice I said “too” and not “that”! It was around 25 bucks and considering we almost got KILLED by the evil Tom Tom, I could deal with 25 bucks.

More food

Chief tells me he’ll drive back because I’m like FORGET DRIVING THROUGH THE LINCOLN TUNNEL AGAIN and while we’re driving through the tunnel, we lose the satellite connection to the Evil Tom Tom. I guess it didn’t like me cursing it out because when it finally connected again, it directed us to take an exit with was NOT the exit to the Turnpike.. even though I clearly SAW the exit for the Turnpike ahead, Chief was like NO! NO! The Tom Tom said to go THIS way.. which put us in the middle of someplace like Seacacus or something and on a highway with a 2 car red light every 100 feet. Which considering how the transmission REALLY started to act up, may have been a good thing.

But as he promised, he pulled over and did some McGuyver-ing and put us back on the road.

We finally found our way back to the Turnpike :: I had turned the Tom Tom off :: and after almost getting into two.. count them.. TWO car accidents, we pulled into one of the numerous rest stops on the pike and had a wonderful lunch of Burger King nuked by a Mexican who could only say “Whopper”.

Don’t ask.

PROTESTING HEALTH CARE

Chief had this bright idea to drive down to Washington DC on the Sunday that the Health Care bill was going to be voted on. That’s something we’re both passionate about and really, I’m not going to get into a debate with anyone who is for it on here. We will just agree to disagree and leave it at that.

The plan was to get up around 5am.. drive down to DC.. protest.. and then drive home.

That was the PLAN anyway.. we were SO committed to going down there that we didn’t get to bed until 3am :: no kids at home means long hours playing Call Of Duty :: and then the gorgeous day we woke up to mandated that we hit various flea markets.

We’re such bad protesters!!

WEED

Weed turned 21 on March 1st.

Honestly, I have to say that he seems to be coming around. Not only has he been coming to work when he’s suppose to but he’s actually doing work. His attitude has become a little more mature but I know he still does what he does.. he’s just less obvious about it.

For his birthday we got him a cell phone. He had one from when the Crack Whore settled her bogus lawsuit but of course, by the time the first payment came around she had blown threw the money and the service was turned off.

If I had known that he could have just re-activated his old one, I would have saved myself a lot of money and aggravation.

And of course, the aggravation has to do with….

BUBBA

Let me just say that I have not had an actual conversation with Bubba since the day of his birthday when I told him that he wasn’t getting the grossly expensive lap top computer he wanted because he didn’t do anything he promised to do.. that being committed to his school work.

Did I also post before that I finally got my dryer because Bubba complained about not having any clean clothes because he never put them in the hamper?

I’m not going to rehash everything that went on, but I will say that this kid needs to be knocked down a few pegs. He still isn’t doing a damn thing in school.. does not have ANY hygiene at all.. stays out all hours of the day / night / weekend .. and I would be doing the pigs of the world a great disservice by calling him one. He’s beyond that.

And I’m over it.

I’m over his lies.. his manipulations.. him calling me a bitch because I call him out on his lies and manipulations.. his use and abuse.. He’s just an ugly person inside and out.. an unhappy person.. someone who couldn’t give a shit about anything or anybody but himself.

I don’t surround myself with that kind of toxin as a rule.. and the fact that this kid lives under my roof doesn’t change that.

Things kind of came to a head about a month ago when Chief told him that he was grounded because he hasn’t done ONE IOTA of schoolwork. Not that Chief makes sure he does his work.. not that the Crack Whore makes sure he does his work either. But as Chief said, “.. he wasn’t going ANYWHERE” that weekend. I told Chief that he was going to have to be the one to tell him that because I was done with being the one that has to issue the punishment only to have it renigged by the Crack Whore.. or worse, Bubba just not paying any damn attention to anything I say.

So Chief assured me that he was going to tell him when he came home from work. In the meantime, Spaz was had made plans to spend the weekend at the Crack Whore’s but as he was waiting for her to pick him up, Bubba started saying that HE was going to stay over there too. Spaz reacted in pure Spaz fashion.. which was to, well, spaz. He go SO upset and started crying and saying that he wasn’t going to go and that all he wanted was to have a weekend away from Bubba.

I tried to stay out of it but things escalated to a point where I had to get involved and told Spaz that Bubba wasn’t going anywhere.. to just calm down.

Immediately Bubba started saying shit to Spaz and to me so I called Chief and told him what was going on. He told me he wanted to talk to him so I gave Bubba the phone. I don’t know what the conversation was but at one point, Bubba said something about me not letting him use the PS3 head phones :: a long story :: and I called him a “Little Fuck” to which he started whining to his father like a little bitch.

I get back on the phone with Chief and he tells me that I was right to do what I did. I told him that I didn’t give a fuck whether or not he thought I was “right” or not .. he wasn’t here and it isn’t fair to Spaz to be tormented by Bubba the way he is.

I hang up with Chief.

He calls me back about 15 minutes later and asks me if I can pick him up from the shop because it was pouring out. I told him I would then went back to getting ready to go out because I really just wanted to get out of the house.

A few minutes after we hang up for the second time, I hear Bubba leave the house. And I’m like, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

And when Chief calls me about a half hour later to tell me that he was closing the shop early and that I can pick him up at any time, I cut the call short because I was in the bathroom.. almost getting physically sick over this fucking kid.

I go down to the shop and I don’t know what made me say this in the way that I did but when I walked in I said, “… you know that Bubba left the house, right?”

He says, “.. oh yea. He went to stay at his mother’s.”

When I tell you that I have NEVER felt like a bigger asshole in my life. HE was the one who INSISTED that Bubba was NOT to leave the house for the weekend which made ME make an issue out of it earlier when he was tormenting Spaz and then he let him go to his mother’s?

Where’s your fucking balls, man?

So I got torqued beyond ever being torqued before.

And I couldn’t look at him.. be near him.. talk to him.. breath the same air as him.

So I stayed in the living room while he tanked out in the bedroom and remained there until the next day when I had had it SO up to here that if I had a box and some place to go I would have packed all my shit right then and there and left.

We had it out the next day.. big blow out.. and when he tried to blame it on the kids I told him all about himself and told him that it’s HIM. That he says one thing and does another and doesn’t give me a heads up. Like the cell phone.

Remember Weed’s old cell phone? The Crack Whore wanted it back so that she could have it reactivated for Bubba. Chief went on a looooooonnnngggg tirade about how Bubba doesn’t deserve one.. that he can’t have one until he brings his grades up.. blah blah blah. Not five minutes.. FIVE MINUTES after he told me that on the phone, the Crack Whore texted me and told me that she had just left the deli and that Chief said he didn’t have a problem with Bubba having a cell phone as long as he doesn’t have to pay the bill for it.

And I called him out on that. And called him out on a million other things that I’ve been holding down. When I tell you that that was the closest that we’ve come to breaking up.. then that’s the closest we’ve come to breaking up.

I told him that if he still wanted me in the picture then he better prepare himself for me not doing anything for Bubba. That I was going to treat Bubba the way that he treats me. No more driving him to school in the morning.. no more doing his clothes.. no more driving him here or there or to his friends. That I was going to email his teacher’s and inform them that from now on, they would have to contact him and the Crack Whore and when Bubba gets into the trouble he’s on the path to get into, don’t expect me to be sympathetic or supportive. Wasn’t going to happen.

So that’s the way things have been and to be honest, Bubba is rolling off my back by rain on a duck.

SPAZ

He’s still having his issues but nothing worse then normal 11 year old shit. He, at least, understands why I’m hard on him about school.. about being neat.. about brushing his teeth and taking showers. Knowing that I don’t want him turning out like Bubba is his big incentive. And as sick as it sounds, knowing how I feel about Bubba is giving him the cujones to stand up to him.

BUBBA: Dad doesn’t love you.
SPAZ: At least he doesn’t have to by me Comet to scrub my neck with

NOTE: Because Bubba doesn’t take regular showers, his neck and knuckles get BLACK. At one point, Chief told him to use Comet to scrub his neck with to take the dirt off.

I almost pissed myself laughing and was like You Go Spaz!!!

The only thing that I can’t really explain to him is why the Crack Whore will buy Bubba a laptop .. will buy him an iPod Touch.. will get him a cell phone when he does nothing to deserve it but when Spaz asked her to contribute to help pay for the two trips he’s going on with the church group ( one is 400 the other is 65), she started yelling and screaming at him that she isn’t made of money and why am I not paying for it.

So that’s basically what’s been going on.

Now that I got this post over with, I’ll get back to my old routine :: 2800+ words will do that to you! :: so buckle up, I’m sure it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

FINALLY! Got My Bail Money Back

Have I gone into this before?

I don’t remember…

Back when Chief got arrested last year, I had to put up 3000.00 for bail. That’s 10% of 30,000.00 for those of you who have no experience in these things. Up until then, I didn’t either but you learn as you go in these kinds of situations.

Luckily, I live in an area where every one of my customers have been arrested at one time or another for one thing or another so yknow.. I got a lot of street lawyer advise.

So back then.. one of my customers was a woman that lived in the second floor apartment next door. She had two young girls and even though I wasn’t to thrilled with the THINGS she did .. I did like her. She’s basically a good person.

When she found out that Chief got arrested, she gave me the most important piece of advice I had ever received. Well, pertaining to your mate being arrested that is.

She said that when I paid the bail .. I needed to put it in my name.

I had only had half of what I needed and Chief’s brother Sarge was able to give me 1000.00 and his dad was able to give me 500.00. I had given them my word that I would pay them back especially when I found out that Sarge had borrowed the money from someone he knew.

I was told that I wouldn’t be able to get the bail money back until after his case was over.. which was in July.

And then the phone calls started. I called the number on the bail receipt but it had been disconnected. I called the number listed on the internet as was told that I wasn’t going to be able to get the money until after his probation was over.

NOTE: I’m not going to go into the whole store again. It’s all under the TRAVESTY category if you want to read it but he did NOT do what he was arrested for and for the simple fact that we could not afford a good lawyer.. or even one who wasn’t used to have innocent clients, he pleaded no contest.. which I think is basically like pleading guilty.. because HE just wanted to get it over with so we can get on with our lives. He initially wanted it to go to trial but he didn’t have any confidence in the lawyer and like I said, he just wanted it over with. A decision that I DID NOT AGREE WITH.

I kept on getting different and conflicting information .. yes, I would get it back because I wasn’t part of the case.. no, I wasn’t getting it back because we had the same address.. yes, you had to wait.. no, you didn’t have to wait. I couldn’t get a straight answer from anyone and every phone number I called just made things more muddied and confused.

Hamster meet wheel.

So fast forward to last week. Or rewind to last week :: depends on your perspective ::

I had mentioned before that Weed was starting to get his life together and in doing so, he has been working in the shop to pay off his fines. Trying to find an address to mail the check to was just as confusing so I figured I would just drive up to the courthouse and pay it in person.

So last Tuesday afternoon, me and Bird drive out there and between the traffic and finding a place to park, I didn’t walk into the lobby of the courthouse until ten of four.

I ask the person at the information desk where I needed to go and he tells me that it was too late to pay on anything since they stop collecting money at a quarter to four since they close at four.

Great.

So we drive all the way back and I made plans to drive out early the following day.

Bird was kind enough to let me keep her truck over night because I wasn’t comfortable driving my van with a potentially messed up transmission out to where State Troopers congregated on every corner. She has a huge Durango and even though I can DRIVE anything.. I’m not so good with PARKING everything I drive!!

So when I drove out myself the next day, I had to drive around and around and around until I could find a parking space that I could park in only to find out that I didn’t have any quarters so I had to drive around and around and around again until I found a parking space that I could park in at a meter that took dimes and nickles.

Yes.. they exist.

Yes.. they’re not close to the court house

Yes.. I fell to my knees and praised the cell phone gods who were thoughtful enough to include a GPS in my phone.

So I make my way to the courthouse and when I get to the lobby, I ask the information guy where I needed to go to put money on the fine.

He told me to go down the long hall until I can’t go anymore.. make a right.. go down that hall until I can’t go anymore… then make another right and go down the steps.. there will be a sign outside the entrance to the finance department and as soon as I go in, the payment window will be on my immediate right.

I SWEAR that’s what he told me. I’m actually really good with directions and remembering them so I’m positive it was HIM and not ME that got me lost. Especially since there wasn’t a right turn off the second hallway I went down.

So I wind up getting lost in the freakin’ courthouse because.. yknow.. you never run into anyone that works there when you’re lost .. only when you’re trying to sneak into a closed court hearing .. another story for another time.. but as I’m roaming around like a mouse in a maze, I happen to pass an office with a little sign in the window that said BAIL OFFICE.

Heh.

Hmm.

I wonder.

Just so happens that I’ve been carrying around the bail receipt in my wallet for the past year and if they can give me some information on that, that will be cool. They’ll probably even be able to direct me to the payment window.

So I go in and there’s this really nice woman behind the counter. I tell her that I’m lost but just happened to have a bail receipt on me so yknow.. two birds one stone.

She takes the receipt.. looks at it.. and then says, “.. I’ll have so-and-so check for you.”. So she passes the receipt along and I wait. And wait. And wait.

It’s a weird feeling being in a courthouse. At least, I feel weird being in a courthouse. I get all … reserved or something. Like if I pissed somebody off with my impatience, I’d get arrested.

But then.. all the state troopers congregate on the street corners looking for wayward parkers so I don’t know what the hell my issue is.

Some time passes and then So-And-So comes to the counter and asks for my driver’s license. I give it to her. She makes a copy. Brings paper work over to me and tells me to sign it. When I do, I notice that there’s a 2100.00 check attached.

ME: Is this a real check?

HER: Um. yes.

ME: Like a real check that I can deposit today?

HER: Didn’t you ever get a check before?

ME: Um.. As a matter of fact NOT FOR BAIL, NO.

And then I sucked her attitude up just in case she decided to take the check back or tattle to the 90 year old court clerk that had wondered in.

So I get my check.. all giddy and happy because now I can pay back Sarge and Chief’s dad and still have some extra to squirrel away in my Get-Up-And-Go fund.

They gave me directions to the payment window.. I paid on Weed’s fine.. and away I went.

I called Chief’s Dad and told him to meet me at the shop because I was going to give him a check and a check for Sarge to pay them back for the loan.

It was a good feeling.. especially because I think they didn’t think they were getting  back.

Dear 1989 “Me”

Per The Girl From The Ghetto’s request, I am writing a letter to the 1989 me. GG had gotten the idea from another blogger, Jean Has Been Shopping and I just loved it.

If you write your own letter, let me know in the comments so I can read yours.

Here goes:

Dear 1989 Leese:

Wow. I can’t believe that 20 years has flew by as fast as it did. I also can’t believe all the things the trial and tribulations you will raise above. Some parts seem like they should belong in a non-fiction novel, but rest assured, it is all true.

By this time, you will have been living with a man that you will later refer to “The Mindless Minion” or “Satan’s Spawn”. You won’t leave him. Even though by now there have been enough red flags and neon signs pointing to what is to become. You will spend 18 years with him.. and also with the 4 Horseman of Abuse that he lets loose upon you.

Don’t fret though.. because it will indeed make you into person stronger then you could ever imagine AND teach you priceless lessons on the human condition.

BEAUTY

You know how you hate the “brown-ness” of your hair and eyes? Well, you’ll still have brown eyes but your hair is going to start turning grey very, very soon but fret not.. it will only mean that you can experiment with ALOT of different hair colors. You’ll come to love how curly it is too.. I know that’s hard to believe but there will be gaggles of hair products available that will have you staring in the mirror marveling at how silly you were to actually pray for straight hair.

Oh.. and you’ll also get tattoos. Not obscenely huge ones.. just a small one here and there.. well placed and symmetrical. You’ll end up with 7.

You’ll go up and down in size but embrace the YOU that you are and not concern yourself so much with the size of your jeans. As long as your hips aren’t wider then your shoulders, you’re okay Girl!

MEN

You won’t leave Satan’s Spawn after he has you committed to the crazy house. You think you will.. but you won’t. That won’t come for another 10 years or so afterwards but while you are getting stronger, you will be on hand to see him getting weaker and you will start to be able to see through his lies and love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. And you do.

Stay away from the dude with the smoking fetish. He’s just plain bizarre and strange. Also, he’s into the whole power trip thing and you don’t need that.

Do NOT have sex with the biker boy. He may be freaky and into threesomes and glory holes but he really does want to be just friends. You can very easily break down his resolve but don’t. He’s a good friend to have.

I’d also leave the sheep guy, and the little league guy alone too. The sheep guy will fuck with your head alot and the little league guy cannot start his day.. end his day.. or get through his day with out being drunk.

You’ll wind up meeting a man who will become your second husband but don’t go so fast. There’s a lot of issue that you won’t find out until your way too deep down Alice’s rabbit hole. He’s worth it.. but remember, you can’t save everybody. You need to save yourself first.

CHILDREN

This may be hard to hear, but you’ll never have your own children. Considering everything you’ll go through it really is a blessing in disguise. However, you will wind up with three step-sons who will do nothing but make you want to either bang your head against a wall or start shooting black tar.

NOTE: You won’t go anywhere near black tar!!

Maybe 20 years from now, they’ll come to appreciate you and everything you’ve done for them but right now you’re in the middle of your mother’s “.. wait until you have kids of your own” curse.

FAMILY

This is a hard one because you will lose two very important people in your life. Ironically, the hardest will not be Grandmom.. but will be Uncle Art. His is going to be completely unexpected and will really throw you for a loop.

MONEY

Heh.. don’t take this the wrong way but that’s always going to be an issue. You’ll stay on course with your current career choice and at one point will be making so much money that you’ll drop paychecks just on a pair of shoes. That will change when you have a family that you need to support and will change further when you get laid off from your job. But you know that money doesn’t make you happy. Surprisingly though.. given how much money you used to blow, you’ll be surprised to learn that you’ve become very spend-thrift.

OTHER STUFF

You’ll have a patent that General Motors will steal from you. Satan’s Spawn will insanely obsess over this but you’ll stick to your guns that saving lives is much more important then money.

Even though you’ve given up Catholicism, you will develop a close, personal relationship with God that will see you through the hardest times of your life. It’s not like you’ll become a bible-thumping Born Again Christian or build up your eyelashes like Tammy Faye Baker but it will serve you well.

Even though your second marriage will be a hell of a whole lot better then your first, things will happen that you won’t be able to do anything about and you’ll going to have to learn that you can’t fix everything. Your oldest stepson will become a drug dealing junkie and when he gets thrown out of the house, he’ll strike out and start a chain of events that even today are still causing hardships.

You’ll also have to deal with your step-sons mother who has her own demons with drugs and alcohol that causes’ her to exist off of other people. She will constantly be a thorn in your side but it’s only because you represent the stability and nuturing for her sons that she cannot. She’s the type of person that causes misery because she is miserable and it bothers her to no end that her boys are moving along in life without her. You’re patience will be tested.. your motives will be tested.. your emotions and heart will be tested. Just know that any decision you make is the right one.. and for the right reasons.

In closing, the world will be a different place but you will go with the flow and manage the damage. You are strong.. you finally will have faith in yourself.. you will come to know your own value.

You, girl.. will be ok.