… no, I didn’t die.
And my apologies to the family of Mr. Gerald Leese but come one, I couldn’t resist!
AND it’s 3:20am
Really, what the hell did y’all expect!
Anyway…
So I’m not going to give any excuses as to why I haven’t posted since January.
Blame it on work and the crazy hours of overtime I’ve been pushing… blame it on the home life.. blame it on moving… blame it on American Idol … none of that’s acceptable and for that I do apologize.
Oh.. but you CAN blame it on the iPad2. That thing is literally like crack and you’d be hard pressed to find it NOT in my hands from the minute I come home from work until the minute I fall asleep with it on my bed watching reruns of something on Hulu.
But once again I am promising to post more.. and one again you will roll your eyes and say “whateva” in your best Philly accent.
I get it.
BUT.. there are some interesting things on the horizon and who the hell else would I vent to? .. or AT.. as the case maybe!! LoL
Okay.. so let me catch you up with the Den of Dysfunction.
Briefly.
Or else this post is going to be a million words long… but really it’s because it’s almost daylight and I still have a pool to paint AND drive to another state to pick up my cell phone that I left behind in one of those go-visit-cousins-new-apartment-that’s-OMG-in-the-ghetto-so-lets-take-off-just-as-fast!
On to it:
CHIEF: Still not working… still hasn’t done a damn thing about his health insurance OR getting his driver’s license back BUT he has succumbed to being my house bitch so dinner is on the table when I get home.. laundry is done :: but not folded, so let’s say he’s a house bitch in training :: .. and he completely re-landscaped our whole property.. put in a garden.. built a front porch.. etc. etc. etc. So I have no complaints really. I don’t classify him as a bum because.. well, I already had one of those and I know the difference.
SPAZ: Must say that Spaz is less.. well.. SPAZZY. The little gnome has shot up and at last check he was as tall as me. His attitude has calmed down since he isn’t around his brothers or crack whore mother and he’s doing better in school. Not ALOT better but I’ll take what I can get. He cleans his room without being told… doesn’t get all bitchy when he has to help his father with yard work.. so he’s really made a turn around after the move.
BUBBA: Heh. Bubba. Did I tell y’all that he left our home a year ago because we were forcing him… FORCING HIM.. to go to school and that he went to live with the Crack Whore who provided no supervision, guidance, consequences, etc. so now he spends his days/nights drinking and smoking pot? Oh.. but see.. it gets SO MUCH BETTER!
You see.. they were living with this dude and because she is who she is and does what she does and lives how she lives, the dude was kinda getting pissed that she wasn’t holding up her end of the “bargain” :: insert anything you want there. I’m sure it wouldn’t be too far off the mark :: so a week before Bubba’s 17th birthday, she kicked him out over something stupid :: because she is, after all, an idiot :: and then high tails it out and moves into one of the seediest, ghettoist, crime ridden and drug riddled towns in my county… where she was promptly given a sash, tiara and corner to work.
Kidding about the last part.
They didn’t give her a tiara and sash.
But I digress…
We didn’t find any of this out until a month later when she supposedly was in the hospital with either pneumonia or breast cancer… can’t tell you which because she’s claimed both so it’s probably neither…. when she sent a text saying how rotten a father Chief was because he didn’t know she had kicked his son out a month earlier and he was now living with a friend and it was all MY fault.
Yes, dear friends, all that happened because of me.
Whateva
So Chief goes into father mode.. contacts his son.. brings him to the house.. buys him some clothes :: because, you know, when she kicked him out and ditch the dude she was living with she left all their stuff there :: makes arrangements for him to live with Sarge which of course, the kid doesn’t want to do because then he wouldn’t be able to drink and get high.
But he is going to school now.
So he says.
Whateva.
WEED: Oh.. this is actually going to be huge in the coming months because did you know that him and his skanky girlfriend are having a baby? Yes.. my friends. A baby. Born to a father (maybe) who finally landed a job but spends his paycheck on drugs and a mother who is the same.. and yet the father (maybe) gets pissed off at the mother for doing drugs but doesn’t stop himself.
I have to say I had to do a lot of soul searching on this one … and have some pretty thick calluses on my knees from being on them all night praying for guidance.
Will you PLEASE get your mind out of the gutter!!
Thank you.
That’s going to be a post on it’s own because a lot happened.. a lot didn’t happen.. and a lot will be happening and all of it is going to land right smack dab in my lap…
So I suggest you buckle up your seat belts.. it’s going to be a bumpy ride!
LIVING ME 101 