Posts Tagged ‘Men’

Per The Girl From The Ghetto’s request, I am writing a letter to the 1989 me. GG had gotten the idea from another blogger, Jean Has Been Shopping and I just loved it.

If you write your own letter, let me know in the comments so I can read yours.

Here goes:

Dear 1989 Leese:

Wow. I can’t believe that 20 years has flew by as fast as it did. I also can’t believe all the things the trial and tribulations you will raise above. Some parts seem like they should belong in a non-fiction novel, but rest assured, it is all true.

By this time, you will have been living with a man that you will later refer to “The Mindless Minion” or “Satan’s Spawn”. You won’t leave him. Even though by now there have been enough red flags and neon signs pointing to what is to become. You will spend 18 years with him.. and also with the 4 Horseman of Abuse that he lets loose upon you.

Don’t fret though.. because it will indeed make you into person stronger then you could ever imagine AND teach you priceless lessons on the human condition.

BEAUTY

You know how you hate the “brown-ness” of your hair and eyes? Well, you’ll still have brown eyes but your hair is going to start turning grey very, very soon but fret not.. it will only mean that you can experiment with ALOT of different hair colors. You’ll come to love how curly it is too.. I know that’s hard to believe but there will be gaggles of hair products available that will have you staring in the mirror marveling at how silly you were to actually pray for straight hair.

Oh.. and you’ll also get tattoos. Not obscenely huge ones.. just a small one here and there.. well placed and symmetrical. You’ll end up with 7.

You’ll go up and down in size but embrace the YOU that you are and not concern yourself so much with the size of your jeans. As long as your hips aren’t wider then your shoulders, you’re okay Girl!

MEN

You won’t leave Satan’s Spawn after he has you committed to the crazy house. You think you will.. but you won’t. That won’t come for another 10 years or so afterwards but while you are getting stronger, you will be on hand to see him getting weaker and you will start to be able to see through his lies and love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. And you do.

Stay away from the dude with the smoking fetish. He’s just plain bizarre and strange. Also, he’s into the whole power trip thing and you don’t need that.

Do NOT have sex with the biker boy. He may be freaky and into threesomes and glory holes but he really does want to be just friends. You can very easily break down his resolve but don’t. He’s a good friend to have.

I’d also leave the sheep guy, and the little league guy alone too. The sheep guy will fuck with your head alot and the little league guy cannot start his day.. end his day.. or get through his day with out being drunk.

You’ll wind up meeting a man who will become your second husband but don’t go so fast. There’s a lot of issue that you won’t find out until your way too deep down Alice’s rabbit hole. He’s worth it.. but remember, you can’t save everybody. You need to save yourself first.

CHILDREN

This may be hard to hear, but you’ll never have your own children. Considering everything you’ll go through it really is a blessing in disguise. However, you will wind up with three step-sons who will do nothing but make you want to either bang your head against a wall or start shooting black tar.

NOTE: You won’t go anywhere near black tar!!

Maybe 20 years from now, they’ll come to appreciate you and everything you’ve done for them but right now you’re in the middle of your mother’s “.. wait until you have kids of your own” curse.

FAMILY

This is a hard one because you will lose two very important people in your life. Ironically, the hardest will not be Grandmom.. but will be Uncle Art. His is going to be completely unexpected and will really throw you for a loop.

MONEY

Heh.. don’t take this the wrong way but that’s always going to be an issue. You’ll stay on course with your current career choice and at one point will be making so much money that you’ll drop paychecks just on a pair of shoes. That will change when you have a family that you need to support and will change further when you get laid off from your job. But you know that money doesn’t make you happy. Surprisingly though.. given how much money you used to blow, you’ll be surprised to learn that you’ve become very spend-thrift.

OTHER STUFF

You’ll have a patent that General Motors will steal from you. Satan’s Spawn will insanely obsess over this but you’ll stick to your guns that saving lives is much more important then money.

Even though you’ve given up Catholicism, you will develop a close, personal relationship with God that will see you through the hardest times of your life. It’s not like you’ll become a bible-thumping Born Again Christian or build up your eyelashes like Tammy Faye Baker but it will serve you well.

Even though your second marriage will be a hell of a whole lot better then your first, things will happen that you won’t be able to do anything about and you’ll going to have to learn that you can’t fix everything. Your oldest stepson will become a drug dealing junkie and when he gets thrown out of the house, he’ll strike out and start a chain of events that even today are still causing hardships.

You’ll also have to deal with your step-sons mother who has her own demons with drugs and alcohol that causes’ her to exist off of other people. She will constantly be a thorn in your side but it’s only because you represent the stability and nuturing for her sons that she cannot. She’s the type of person that causes misery because she is miserable and it bothers her to no end that her boys are moving along in life without her. You’re patience will be tested.. your motives will be tested.. your emotions and heart will be tested. Just know that any decision you make is the right one.. and for the right reasons.

In closing, the world will be a different place but you will go with the flow and manage the damage. You are strong.. you finally will have faith in yourself.. you will come to know your own value.

You, girl.. will be ok.


  • … in guns, God and the constituion
  • … I just pissed off about 90% of Americans! LOL!
  • … in that nasty three letter word :: no, not S-E-X :: G-O-D
  • … that given the choice, most people would do the right thing
  • … if I don’t get a pedicure soon the Sisterhood is going to revoke my membership card
  • … there is nothing wrong with freaky sex and vibrators
  • … people with piercings, body stretchers and full on tattoos are inhabiiting a “lifestyle” and won’t be stealing your corporate job!
  • … bald men are the sexiest thing in the world
  • … there is no justification for putting ketchup on scrambled eggs
  • … everyone is entitled to their opinions. Even when they’re wrong.
  • … that Abby is the killer on Harper’s Island
  • … white chocolate is far superior to milk / dark chocolate
  • … in lots and lots of pillows on my bed
  • … if people took a deep breath everything would be ok
  • … there has to be a scientific explaination for belly button funk
  • … you don’t appreciate what you have unless you work for it
  • … the US will fuck Israel big time
  • … this country is going to fail big time and those without common sense or work ethic will perish
  • … “labels” pigeon hole people into boxes they don’t necessarily fit in to
  • … the devil created fudge caramel swirl ice cream, shrink wrap plastic and Jack Russell Mixed puppies named Ernie
  • … that nothing feels nicer then getting into a bed with clean sheets right after a shower.
  • … the only thing better then getting into bed with cleans sheets right after a shower is getting all them all twisted and sweaty with Chief!
  • … pictures of naked men will ONLY freeze my computer :: with the 19in monitor :: when my boss is walking by my cube
  • … in love over hate.. tolerance over prejudice… lifting up instead of tearing down
  • … it is our moral obligation to help those when we can
  • … ignorance and complacency is far more dangerous then radical Islam
  • … people have a right to live their lives the way they see fit as long as it isn’t a detriment to me and mine
  • … marijuana should be legalized. Really. Do you know how fast this country would get out of debt with a tax on the 420?
  • … a good book is better then any Oscar winning movie or documentary
  • … that if I ever tried to Bible Thump somebody they would thump me back harder
  • … that there is no role for Tripe in the 21st century
  • … laughing at yourself is far better then laughing at someone else
  • … I better get a cup of coffee RIGHT NOW if I want to stay awake past 2pm