Have It Your Way

Bubba.. the king of all things Google showed me this pretty cool thing..

Type in http://googlemyway.com/[insert whatever you want here]

Click to go to the page and viola! The Google page heading will be replace with whatever you inserted after the backslash.

Pretty neat…

So far I experimented with:

Chicken Pot Pie (don’t ask!)

Owned By Leese

Ernie Sucks

I Hate Mice

and

DSW Rocks

However, the one that is now my homepage says “Leese Loves Chief”

So give it a whirl and have some fun!

Convos

ME: Spaz! Spaz! Wake up.. I have a blanket for you

SPAZ: Oh my God! Thank you SO much! It’s soooooooo cold in here!

ME: You know, you can always close the window if your cold

SPAZ: Oh

Dear 1989 “Me”

Per The Girl From The Ghetto’s request, I am writing a letter to the 1989 me. GG had gotten the idea from another blogger, Jean Has Been Shopping and I just loved it.

If you write your own letter, let me know in the comments so I can read yours.

Here goes:

Dear 1989 Leese:

Wow. I can’t believe that 20 years has flew by as fast as it did. I also can’t believe all the things the trial and tribulations you will raise above. Some parts seem like they should belong in a non-fiction novel, but rest assured, it is all true.

By this time, you will have been living with a man that you will later refer to “The Mindless Minion” or “Satan’s Spawn”. You won’t leave him. Even though by now there have been enough red flags and neon signs pointing to what is to become. You will spend 18 years with him.. and also with the 4 Horseman of Abuse that he lets loose upon you.

Don’t fret though.. because it will indeed make you into person stronger then you could ever imagine AND teach you priceless lessons on the human condition.

BEAUTY

You know how you hate the “brown-ness” of your hair and eyes? Well, you’ll still have brown eyes but your hair is going to start turning grey very, very soon but fret not.. it will only mean that you can experiment with ALOT of different hair colors. You’ll come to love how curly it is too.. I know that’s hard to believe but there will be gaggles of hair products available that will have you staring in the mirror marveling at how silly you were to actually pray for straight hair.

Oh.. and you’ll also get tattoos. Not obscenely huge ones.. just a small one here and there.. well placed and symmetrical. You’ll end up with 7.

You’ll go up and down in size but embrace the YOU that you are and not concern yourself so much with the size of your jeans. As long as your hips aren’t wider then your shoulders, you’re okay Girl!

MEN

You won’t leave Satan’s Spawn after he has you committed to the crazy house. You think you will.. but you won’t. That won’t come for another 10 years or so afterwards but while you are getting stronger, you will be on hand to see him getting weaker and you will start to be able to see through his lies and love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. And you do.

Stay away from the dude with the smoking fetish. He’s just plain bizarre and strange. Also, he’s into the whole power trip thing and you don’t need that.

Do NOT have sex with the biker boy. He may be freaky and into threesomes and glory holes but he really does want to be just friends. You can very easily break down his resolve but don’t. He’s a good friend to have.

I’d also leave the sheep guy, and the little league guy alone too. The sheep guy will fuck with your head alot and the little league guy cannot start his day.. end his day.. or get through his day with out being drunk.

You’ll wind up meeting a man who will become your second husband but don’t go so fast. There’s a lot of issue that you won’t find out until your way too deep down Alice’s rabbit hole. He’s worth it.. but remember, you can’t save everybody. You need to save yourself first.

CHILDREN

This may be hard to hear, but you’ll never have your own children. Considering everything you’ll go through it really is a blessing in disguise. However, you will wind up with three step-sons who will do nothing but make you want to either bang your head against a wall or start shooting black tar.

NOTE: You won’t go anywhere near black tar!!

Maybe 20 years from now, they’ll come to appreciate you and everything you’ve done for them but right now you’re in the middle of your mother’s “.. wait until you have kids of your own” curse.

FAMILY

This is a hard one because you will lose two very important people in your life. Ironically, the hardest will not be Grandmom.. but will be Uncle Art. His is going to be completely unexpected and will really throw you for a loop.

MONEY

Heh.. don’t take this the wrong way but that’s always going to be an issue. You’ll stay on course with your current career choice and at one point will be making so much money that you’ll drop paychecks just on a pair of shoes. That will change when you have a family that you need to support and will change further when you get laid off from your job. But you know that money doesn’t make you happy. Surprisingly though.. given how much money you used to blow, you’ll be surprised to learn that you’ve become very spend-thrift.

OTHER STUFF

You’ll have a patent that General Motors will steal from you. Satan’s Spawn will insanely obsess over this but you’ll stick to your guns that saving lives is much more important then money.

Even though you’ve given up Catholicism, you will develop a close, personal relationship with God that will see you through the hardest times of your life. It’s not like you’ll become a bible-thumping Born Again Christian or build up your eyelashes like Tammy Faye Baker but it will serve you well.

Even though your second marriage will be a hell of a whole lot better then your first, things will happen that you won’t be able to do anything about and you’ll going to have to learn that you can’t fix everything. Your oldest stepson will become a drug dealing junkie and when he gets thrown out of the house, he’ll strike out and start a chain of events that even today are still causing hardships.

You’ll also have to deal with your step-sons mother who has her own demons with drugs and alcohol that causes’ her to exist off of other people. She will constantly be a thorn in your side but it’s only because you represent the stability and nuturing for her sons that she cannot. She’s the type of person that causes misery because she is miserable and it bothers her to no end that her boys are moving along in life without her. You’re patience will be tested.. your motives will be tested.. your emotions and heart will be tested. Just know that any decision you make is the right one.. and for the right reasons.

In closing, the world will be a different place but you will go with the flow and manage the damage. You are strong.. you finally will have faith in yourself.. you will come to know your own value.

You, girl.. will be ok.

It’s Settled.. We’re Getting A Cat

… well, a kitten actually

A four month old kitten that had been rescued by Chief’s cousin Bird when she found her and her litter mates abandoned at around 2 weeks old.

Bird is like that.. a lot like me when it comes to animals.

At any rate .. Bird was telling me yesterday that she needs to reduce the size of her menagerie because they’re getting harder and harder to afford. Her menagerie includes the four kittens, two dogs, a load of snakes, hampsters, etc.

Basically anything with fur.. paws.. tails or skin that sheds.

So I talked it over with Chief.. and even if he would prefer an actual “kitten” kitten, Bird’s kitten is already used to dogs and uses the litter box.

THAT was important because my main reason for objecting to having another cat is the fact that I never really had one before and never had to train one before so I was at a loss… Since no one is home for the better part of the day, I was afraid that getting a kitten would mean MORE animal pissing around the house.

So this seems to be the perfect solution although I am.. really.. still apprehensive about it. But I’m even more apprehensive about the mouse (mice) and reading up on them, I only have so long to procrastinate before I’m over-run with them.

But we shall see..

I’m picking her up today…

Pics to follow

Doing What I Gotta Do.. Even If It Makes Me Feel Bad

So.. yknow.. a few weeks ago I posted this whole thing about Spaz and the Crack Whore and taking a step back from getting involved in his school and his homework and stuff.

You can read about it HERE in case you missed it.

So since then, Spaz goes over to the crack den every day after school and usually comes home around 7:30.

I don’t ask him if he did his homework or not.. don’t ask what he did over there.. nothing. I just act like.. whatever.

Last night I had to go pick him up over there because the new car she bought with the settlement money from her bogus lawsuit was in the shop being fixed or something.. so today, I made sure I was nowhere near my cell phone in case he called for another ride. Let her figure out how to get him home.

So by around 8:00, I was anticipating “something” but just as I was driving up to the house from my evening Dunkin’ Donut run, she was parked across the street dropping him off.

Chief had been on the side of the house with the dogs so I just walked towards him and we came inside like nothing unusual.

I was in the kitchen doing the dinner dishes when Spaz comes up behind me and tells me that the Crack Whore is going to school with him on Friday for some kind of picnic thing they do every year. I tell him “that’s nice” and continue doing what I’m doing.

He asks me if I want to go. I tell him that I don’t have to go because she’s going. He says, “.. but did you WANT to go.” and I tell him that I didn’t even know about it. He says he’s sorry and that I can do the next thing that comes up.

I tell him that he doesn’t have to get all worried about me not doing things at school with him because the Crack Whore can do it with him… I told him that he doesn’t have to feel like he’s cheating me out of something or whatever.. to just enjoy doing whatever is going on at the time.

He said that he liked doing things with me at school too and I was like just don’t stress out about anything.

He then asks me if I could take him somewhere to get her something for her birthday in October.

I didn’t say anything at first.. I mean, what do you really say? So I told him that maybe his dad could take him. He said he wanted me to take him and I told him that he was asking a little too much of me.

He asked me what I meant and I just said that he should ask his dad to take him. He left the kitchen then and went on the computer.

I felt bad.

I did.

I felt hurt about not being able to participate in something that I really look forward to doing with him at school. In fact, one of the first things I thought of when I found out that I was getting laid off is all the time I would have to become more physically involved with Spaz’s class. The first year me and Chief were together, I was invited to Josh’s class to design t-shirts and he was so full of self esteem and so proud that his shirts were the best one’s in his class. So yea, I really wanted to be that involved again with him.

I try SO hard not to put this kid in the middle of anything but sometimes being in the middle is where one has to be in order to see both sides clearly.

It’s hard having to be the only one with a certain degree of maturity and constantly acting in an adult manner and this time I didn’t.. but I can’t be hard on myself about it. You can’t expect me to do the right thing ALL the time.

I’m just human after all.