Archive for the ‘Convos’ Category


Posted: February 14, 2011 in Convos

ME: Where’s [name of town]
CHIEF: It’s over there, why?
ME: There’s an ad on Craigslist looking for caregiver. You know, someone to cook.. do the laundry.. run errands
CHIEF: Oh yea?
ME: Yea. It’s a live in position
CHIEF: Oh…………………………………………………………….. HEY!!!!


Posted: January 30, 2011 in Convos

Me: I want a baby …

Chief: Why??????

Me: Um… so I can show you how to do it right???


Posted: September 26, 2010 in Convos

ME: Y’know after watching 4 straight hours of Hoarders it dawned on me that if I ever went on strike, this house would look like any one of the ones shown

CHIEF: (( silence ))

ME: That’s all you got to say, huh?

CHIEF: Well, what do you want me to say?

ME: Yknow.. you watch Hoarders and you get all “OMG” .. but guess what? You’re no better


Posted: August 20, 2010 in Convos

ME (to Sarge, Chief’s twin brother regarding going out to dinner on their birthday) You don’t have to be an ass about it

SARGE: Resorting to name calling now?

ME: If the shoe fits…

SARGE: Then I’ll have to start calling you names

ME: Go ahead.. take your best shot

SARGE: Nah.. I’ll make you cry

ME: Yea. Ok.

SARGE: Alright. You’re a bitch.

ME: Yea, I know

SARGE: Fine. Then you’re a cunt

ME: Cool.. that means I’m doing my job

SARGE: You know.. there’s really something wrong with you.

ME: Awww!!! You’re going to make me cry!


Posted: August 4, 2010 in Convos

CHIEF: Don’t many any plans for Thursday night

ME: What plans would I have to make?

CHIEF: Oh.. I don’t know.. but I’m taking you out to dinner for our anniversay

ME: Awww… I love you!! You remembered!!

CHIEF: I love you too! Of course, I remembered!!!

… a few minutes pass by

ME: Wait!! Um.. you used the debit card that has our anniversary date as the pin, didn’t you?

CHIEF: Um.. yeeeaaaaa….