Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

Is is me or do all Chinese Buffets look the same..???

So yesterday, I got together with two really, really good friends that I used to work with.

You know how people say, “.. we’ll get together?” or “.. keep in touch!!” or “.. we’re going to misssssssss you!!’ but they you don’t.. and they don’t.. and half the time you can’t remember someone’s name let alone miss them..

But these two gals, Cass and Chica became more then co-workers.. we became really good friends.

And so every once in a while we make it a point to get together for dinner somewhere in the middle between them and me.

Yesterday we made plans to meet a local Chinese Buffet that is WAY more then a Chinese buffet food wise.

It has everything.. and even though they have a more then usual assortment of more then the same old kinds of seafood dishes, there’s always something that I can eat. Seafood makes me blow up like a puffer fish and spasm on the ground.



I understand.

Anyway.. so yesterday we meet up for dinner and it’s early. Something like 4:30. Hell.. most people aren’t even home from WORK yet. I say that because the place was empty. Only about three other tables were full beside ours.

Now, I don’t know about you.. but buffets make a HUGE profit off of me because I really don’t eat a lot. Generally one place with a sample of six or seven things and then a second plate of fruit. :: I don’t know what that red stuff is they put on their bananas but it’s freakin’ AWESOME ::

This was the first time Cass and Chica were there so I got the stuff I wanted and then sat back down at the table and waited for them. It took them about five or so more minutes for them to sit but when they did, we got to catching up. And you know.. food was secondary on our thoughts.

Chica had recently bought a new truck .. her daughters were in Puerto Rico for the summer with their grandparents and she was making us laugh about this guy that she met.. and that other guy she went out with recently who’s sending her text messages telling her how he couldn’t live without her and wants to move her and her daughters to Texas.

Funny stuff.. especially because Chica has the same attitude and sarcastic wit that I do .. only with a heavy PR accent.

Cass has been fighting breast cancer and horrendous arthritis .. she had a double masectomy.. recently had reconstructive surgery.. both her hair and eyelashes are growing in .. her mom’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse… just a lot of stuff. But Cass handles it with humor and wit and we were rolling over in hysterics trading stories.

But we weren’t eating.

And the two waitress’ that were standing at the station behind our table noticed.

They kept on coming over to the table to see if there were dishes that need to be bussed or drinks that needed to be filled.

We finally figured that we better eat and get more plates so that they would leave us alone.

We did.. and the same thing happened.

But you know me.. I don’t take to that kind of pressure nicely.. ESPECIALLY because there weren’t people waiting for a table. If the place was busy, that’s one thing. In those cases, I usually just down my food and get the hell out of there.

So we’re talking.. laughing.. eating.. and even before we even made a DENT in our second plates, the waitress came over with the check.

Without Fortune Cookies.

Talk about saying “fuck you”.. huh?

No Fortune Cookies???

But we’re talking and eating and nibbling this and nibbling that and before you know it, the food is gone and we’re still sitting there talking.. and talking.. and talking.

The woman at the cash register kept looking over and the waitress’ kept buzzing around and finally we were like, ¬†“.. we better get out of here.”

So we paid and left and honestly, I didn’t remember to leave a tip. I swear it wasn’t intentional.. we we’re just engrossed and it didn’t happen. I don’t have any excuse for that, tho. As much as they were pressuring us to leave, I wouldn’t purposely NOT leave a tip.. especially at some place I like going to.

Now we’re outside sitting on their benches yaking away.. and away.. and away.

Cass is starting to get stomach pains and gets ready to leave because she doesn’t want to have an accident in her pants on the way home.

She was wearing white pants so it’s completely understandable!

But OMG! She left her sun glasses at the table. We start laughing because no one wants to go back in there but finally they both vote for me because.. well.. I really don’t give a shit.

So I go up to the desk and say to Cashier Girl, “.. I left my sunglasses at the table.” making a motion that I was going to go over there and get them because I didn’t want her to think that I was bypassing protocol and seating myself.


I have expected Ninja’s to drop from the ceiling the way she was acting.

So I was like, “.. No. Really. The glasses are at the table.”


Find.. whatever.. I’ll buy Cass another pair of freakin’ sunglasses.

So I go back outside and tell Cass. She wanted to let it go but because her eyelashes are still growing in and it was the time of day when driving in the sun is brutal, she was afraid that her eyes would tear too much and she’d cause a 980 car pile up on the highway.

So she goes back in and a few minutes later, she came out with her sunglasses. She tells me that they did have a pair behind the counter that were actually, nicer then hers but she went over to the table and found hers on the floor underneath.

We all got a good laugh out of it but it got me wondering… are ALL chinese buffets that way or just mine?

Probably just mine, huh?

Getting Dooce-d

Posted: December 6, 2009 in Friends, Just Stuff
Tags: , , , , , ,

I’ve been reading Heather’s blog LONG before she became an Armstrong.. LONG before Microsoft sent her 5 Xboxes to give away to her readers.. LONG before she had two munchins… LONG before she wrote two books.. LONG before she popped up on national tv couches.

In fact, I’ve been reading Heather’s blog LONG before she even got fired for having a blog which made everything in the first paragraph possible.

NOTE: If you don’t know who I’m talking about, you probably do but just don’t know it.. but just to be sure, check out her website HERE. Heather is an Uber-cool chick who’s so very deserving of the Left Of Center Award if she wasn’t so huge to accept the Left Of Center Award.

Anyway.. she deserves all her successes. Because, she really is THAT cool.

So the other day I’m doing the blogroll shuffle and checking out my blogger buddy’s blogs and guess what?

Guess who’s going all Dooce?


Booshy now has this kick ass website that has advertising space and everything on it and she’s selling stuff and has a cool logo and I was all like..




And then I got this little deja vu thing going on because I had a flashback to when Heather was trying to maybe do something that would help pay for her broadband and it exploded into what it is now.

I hope Booshy has as much.. if not more.. success then Heather.

I really do.

Because she’s deserves it.

And yknow.. maybe when Microsoft contacts Booshy to give away 5 Xboxes to her readers, she’ll do some bobbing and weaving and send me one on the sneak!

Congrats Booshy!!


Goober has a WIFE now!!! I’m really going to have censor myself now! I’m going to have to tuck most of the Goober Files back in the box hidden in the back of my brain!!! LOL!!

No.. so seriously. Goober got married.

He really did.


NO.. HONEST!!!!!!

Goober and Raisinette have known each other for probably a long time. They were together as a couple for a long time but then broke up and somewhere .. sometime.. fate crossed their paths again.

Fate is like that sometimes. Especially when it’s having a bad day and just wants to fuck with people to get it’s rocks off.

What other excuse could there be? Right?


Anyway.. so it wasn’t like he flew to Hawaii.. had one to many rum punches succumbed to the advances of the portly hulu girl that they hide in the back line.. WHO btw.. guilted him into marrying her because she swallowed.

Nope.. nothing like that at all..


I think…

I HOPE…!!!

No. No. Of course not! And I won’t get into the “swallow” thing.

What really happened .. according to the Goob is that it was just the right place and time. It just happened and that’s maybe the way it should be..

I can tell you that they got married on the beach…

I can tell you that he did NOT wear Man Flops

I CANNOT tell you weather or not he got a pedi on his ape paws. He says he won’t tell so that means HELL YEA AND I LOVED EVER DAMN METROSEXUAL SECOND OF IT!

Anyway.. all the best for Goober and Raisinette. I’d raise a glass to them but I’m at work and not allowed to have anything that could potentially be used as a weapon..

No seriously… I wish both of you nothing but the best!

… This is just a quick entry because I HAVE NO FREAKIN’ IDEA WHAT HAPPENED!!

All I know is that I got a text from him saying:



I’ll post more later!

A few Halloween’s ago, the company that Goober works for was holding a Halloween contest and being the good Catholic boy that he is, he went dressed a nun. All 6’4″ 6’2″ of him with big man hands and goatee.

So he does THE worse thing he could possibly do. He takes a picture of himself and emails it to me. Ok.. that’s not the WORSE thing he ever emailed me but that’s not the point.

I immediately post the picture up on the other blog I used to have on Bravenet.

I called her/him Sister Fica Hedonista.

Fica being the Italian slang for “pussy”. With the goatee, it just seemed to fit, ok?

I went on to describe how Sr. Fica USED to be Father Paul but that nasty little “issue” in the rectumory caused him to lose his manhood at the hands of a chain-saw welding parent. Since he was .. for the most part.. “almost” transgenered and his vocation still strong, he entered the nunnery to serve out the rest of his/her life is relative isolation.

That was a hit.. believe me.. and IF GOOBER GIVES ME PERMISSION I will post the picture.

IF Goober gives me permission..

IF GOOBER gives me permission..

IF GOOBER GIVES me permission..

IF GOOBER GIVES ME permission..


IF GOOBER GIVES ME permission..

IF GOOBER GIVES me permission..

IF GOOBER gives me permission..

IF Goober gives me persission..

:: do it Goob.. do it!! ::