Is is me or do all Chinese Buffets look the same..???
So yesterday, I got together with two really, really good friends that I used to work with.
You know how people say, “.. we’ll get together?” or “.. keep in touch!!” or “.. we’re going to misssssssss you!!’ but they you don’t.. and they don’t.. and half the time you can’t remember someone’s name let alone miss them..
But these two gals, Cass and Chica became more then co-workers.. we became really good friends.
And so every once in a while we make it a point to get together for dinner somewhere in the middle between them and me.
Yesterday we made plans to meet a local Chinese Buffet that is WAY more then a Chinese buffet food wise.
It has everything.. and even though they have a more then usual assortment of more then the same old kinds of seafood dishes, there’s always something that I can eat. Seafood makes me blow up like a puffer fish and spasm on the ground.
Ok.
TMI.
I understand.
Anyway.. so yesterday we meet up for dinner and it’s early. Something like 4:30. Hell.. most people aren’t even home from WORK yet. I say that because the place was empty. Only about three other tables were full beside ours.
Now, I don’t know about you.. but buffets make a HUGE profit off of me because I really don’t eat a lot. Generally one place with a sample of six or seven things and then a second plate of fruit. :: I don’t know what that red stuff is they put on their bananas but it’s freakin’ AWESOME ::
This was the first time Cass and Chica were there so I got the stuff I wanted and then sat back down at the table and waited for them. It took them about five or so more minutes for them to sit but when they did, we got to catching up. And you know.. food was secondary on our thoughts.
Chica had recently bought a new truck .. her daughters were in Puerto Rico for the summer with their grandparents and she was making us laugh about this guy that she met.. and that other guy she went out with recently who’s sending her text messages telling her how he couldn’t live without her and wants to move her and her daughters to Texas.
Funny stuff.. especially because Chica has the same attitude and sarcastic wit that I do .. only with a heavy PR accent.
Cass has been fighting breast cancer and horrendous arthritis .. she had a double masectomy.. recently had reconstructive surgery.. both her hair and eyelashes are growing in .. her mom’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse… just a lot of stuff. But Cass handles it with humor and wit and we were rolling over in hysterics trading stories.
But we weren’t eating.
And the two waitress’ that were standing at the station behind our table noticed.
They kept on coming over to the table to see if there were dishes that need to be bussed or drinks that needed to be filled.
We finally figured that we better eat and get more plates so that they would leave us alone.
We did.. and the same thing happened.
But you know me.. I don’t take to that kind of pressure nicely.. ESPECIALLY because there weren’t people waiting for a table. If the place was busy, that’s one thing. In those cases, I usually just down my food and get the hell out of there.
So we’re talking.. laughing.. eating.. and even before we even made a DENT in our second plates, the waitress came over with the check.
Without Fortune Cookies.
Talk about saying “fuck you”.. huh?
No Fortune Cookies???
But we’re talking and eating and nibbling this and nibbling that and before you know it, the food is gone and we’re still sitting there talking.. and talking.. and talking.
The woman at the cash register kept looking over and the waitress’ kept buzzing around and finally we were like, “.. we better get out of here.”
So we paid and left and honestly, I didn’t remember to leave a tip. I swear it wasn’t intentional.. we we’re just engrossed and it didn’t happen. I don’t have any excuse for that, tho. As much as they were pressuring us to leave, I wouldn’t purposely NOT leave a tip.. especially at some place I like going to.
Now we’re outside sitting on their benches yaking away.. and away.. and away.
Cass is starting to get stomach pains and gets ready to leave because she doesn’t want to have an accident in her pants on the way home.
She was wearing white pants so it’s completely understandable!
But OMG! She left her sun glasses at the table. We start laughing because no one wants to go back in there but finally they both vote for me because.. well.. I really don’t give a shit.
So I go up to the desk and say to Cashier Girl, “.. I left my sunglasses at the table.” making a motion that I was going to go over there and get them because I didn’t want her to think that I was bypassing protocol and seating myself.
She gets ballistic on me NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU NO LEAF NO THING!! TABLE CLEARED! TABLED CLEARED!
I have expected Ninja’s to drop from the ceiling the way she was acting.
So I was like, “.. No. Really. The glasses are at the table.”
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FIND NO THING. TABLE CLEARED!! TABLE CLEARED!!
Find.. whatever.. I’ll buy Cass another pair of freakin’ sunglasses.
So I go back outside and tell Cass. She wanted to let it go but because her eyelashes are still growing in and it was the time of day when driving in the sun is brutal, she was afraid that her eyes would tear too much and she’d cause a 980 car pile up on the highway.
So she goes back in and a few minutes later, she came out with her sunglasses. She tells me that they did have a pair behind the counter that were actually, nicer then hers but she went over to the table and found hers on the floor underneath.
We all got a good laugh out of it but it got me wondering… are ALL chinese buffets that way or just mine?
Probably just mine, huh?
LIVING ME 101 