… because you asked (part 2)

.. apologies for having to skip out earlier.

One thing led to another.. and then another.. and then somehow I found myself at Target buying a lot of crap I didn’t need and forgetting what it was I actually went in there for!!

Grrr!!

At any rate.. okay.. so where was I?

So I left off with the trials and tribulations of Elvis.

Just for S&G’s :: shits and giggles :: I stalked his Facebook page :: don’t anyone update their privacy settings??? :: Apparently, he’s still in Oklahoma AND surprise.. surprise.. he’s in communication with the Crack Whore.

Heh.. omg.. I can’t stop giggling!! I can’t make up this shit, people!

Okay so the biggest question I got :: always get, actually :: is WHY THE HELL DO YOU STAY IN THIS INSANITY??

The quick and dirty answer is: Right????

But the truth is a lot more complex.

Look, no relationship is perfect. And every battle isn’t won. Everyone has their good and bad sides and unfortunately, I put people’s bad sides on blast when I blog. It’s venting.. it’s OMG! I can’t be the ONLY person who thinks this is bizzarro!!! .. it’s just me being me doing the things I do. I recognize that I don’t always blog when Chief does something amazing or says something that makes me fall out laugh and pee my pants but those things do happen.

I realized a long time ago that I was naive with this whole “man with kids” thing and that I didn’t know what the hell I was getting into. Did my opinion of Chief change? Yes. Did I fall out of love with him? No. It’s just one of those things that I either accepted or didn’t and moved on.

Him as a man to my woman is worth a lot more then anything his kids, ex or whatever could make me give up. Happy is easy. Difficulty is what proves love.

OR I’ve had way too many Gummi Bears and I’m on a sugar rush!!

Plus, you know, I’m a fighter. I’ll fight with any one about anything for sport!! LoL!

Oddly enough, I get asked about my menagerie of pets.

Right now.. on the bed with me.. is Butch, the dog that came with the house because my landlord wasn’t able to take him with her when she moved, Ernie: The Terrorist Puppy that is no longer a terrorist OR a puppy. He’s just a root beer barrel shape mess of neurosis who can’t sleep unless he’s under a blanket and Moan-a, the indoor cat who got stuck in our old attic with a Christmas ball named Wilson for company and has since become an outdoor cat at the new house. Unless, like tonight, it’s in the single digits with freezing rain. Then she’s on my bed.

Chief is wanting to get me a blue bird to fill the space on my bed after I Tretis myself in for the night around these three.

We’ve had a few too many Rainbow Bridge send-offs:

Luca Bella.. the love of my life. I can’t write about her or I’ll bust out crying and be an emotional wreck for a month. It was her time and I had to let her go. It was the right thing to do.

Then there was Al.. the best damn cat in the world. We still don’t know what happened to her. We just drove home from somewhere and she was curled up at the base of our drive way as if she was sleeping. Some one had suggested that she may have licked antifreeze which made sense because she was a complete outdoor cat and we had just moved to the new house. The weather was turning cold and someone, somewhere may have leaked it or spilled it and there you go. Considering what roams around my neighborhood, I have no angst that it was on purpose. Just, sadly, one of those things.

Lastly there was Retard. Don’t give me shit about her name. You had to know her and you’d get it immediately. She was beyond awesome. Just like a puppy and friendly as all hell. She followed Moan-a through a window that I didn’t realize was left open. We found Moan-a but not Retard. I can’t say for sure that she Rainbow Bridge-d it. More then likely someone found her.. or she climbed in their handbag :) .. and got herself a new home.

I hope so. She was too special to not have a long, spoiled life.

And that’s really all about it. Unless y’all got something else you want to know!

Keep asking because.. obviously.. my life is nothing but an open book!

.. because you asked

… so I’ve gotten some pretty interesting questions since I started posting again.

They MAY have come from WordPress, come to think of it, to KEEP me posting. Dunno! :)

But some have come from :: who knew! :: readers who’ve been reading for a long time.

Imagine that!

Of interest was the reaction of both Weed and the GF (still can’t think of an appropriate tag for her) when I asked her about being with a deadbeat when her own son’s father wasn’t in his life.

I wasn’t looking at Weed so I don’t know what his “face” looked like but I can say :: most surprisingly :: that the GF responded that she’s been telling Weed to spend more time with T3. To which, Weed replied that it’s been tough because he really doesn’t have any money. TO WHICH I replied that phone calls are free.. and so is the park.. and so is Sunday dinners at my house.

The GF had mentioned earlier that her car was being worked on because of a minor fender bender that left the rear off-centered but she did tell Weed that they could take public transportation down to my house. No easy feat considering where they live and where I live but at least appreciated that she was more pro then con with Weed being involved in his kid’s life.

To be fair :: there was too much ” grrr ” last night to be objective :: she seems like she’s an okay person. She lives with her parents, has a degree in elementary and special education and has a real job working with kids as an educator. She comes from a fairly affluent community :: which means absolutely nothing except that she isn’t living in a crack den :: and she met Weed in a program because she had become addicted to pain meds after a serious car accident a few years ago. On the surface, it would appear that if he had to be in a relationship with anyone at least this girl appears to have her priorities in order.

What I don’t know is if she is strong enough to handle Weed’s persuasions. Charm is built into these boy’s DNA :: from their father’s side :: and they’ve only been “in a relationship” :: according to Facebook :: since November 21st.

Yes, I stalk. Report me!

But.. as with everything.. time will tell.

I’ve also been asked what ever became of Elvis, Chief’s jailbird nephew who was was brought out to PA by Chief’s douchebag brother.

Not sure where I left off on THAT story.

The thumbnail is that Elvis has been in and out of jail for half his life and through Facebook, connected with his PA family for the first time. His mother had high-tailed out of the area when he was 6 months old and never had any contact with his father’s side of the family.

His douchebag uncle paid his way out here, put him up and basically treated him like a plantation slave.. never really giving him the opportunity to venture off the property to find work to sustain on his own. Couple that with alcohol and the fact that douchebag’s wife has an Oedipus complex and hates, hates, hates anybody or anything that diverts the douchebag’s attention away from her.. shit was a powder keg waiting to explode.

And it did.. one drunken night when Douchebag said something that Elvis took the wrong way and Captain Morgan set those powder kegs on fire.

Elvis was banished from the property.. his clothes dumped in a McDonald’s parking lot.. and he was left stranded in a state where he knew know one.

Of course, he knew me.. but communication between me and him stopped when he went to live with Douchebag. All extensions of hospitality were met with “sorry, can’t” or “busy” or whatever excuse came my way.

So I wasn’t in a too charitable mood when all of a sudden he’s blowing up my phone with text messages needing help.. money.. a place to stay.. etc.

However, I’m not heartless and sometimes the best way to help someone is to make them help themselves.

I reached out to a homeless shelter that’s affiliated with the Salvation Army. I explained the situation and they gladly offered him a place to stay, food, clothing vouchers, etc. while helping him find a job.

For someone who said that they were committed to turning their life around and all they needed was the opportunity, you’d think that one would take THIS opportunity and fly with it.

He flew alright.. all the way to Oklahoma.

What happened was he started to get too involved with the people he was living with.. all kinds of people who’s circumstances made them opportunists. I had told him to keep his head down and stay out of any issue that didn’t directly concern him. He didn’t listen and was either thrown out or asked to leave :: still don’t know which :: and since he was already working for a landscaping company :: that the shelter helped him get :: he decided he was going to get his own place.

According to his story, he had to sleep on the streets a few nights but finally was able to rent a room from a guy who had once been a resident of the shelter.. made good and now wanted to give back. He would rent rooms to those who were in the transition part of their lives.

His mother put up the first week’s rent because Elvis was between paychecks but sometime after he moved in, I get the phone call asking if I can help him because he didn’t get his check and his rent was due. I told him to talk to his landlord and explain.. even have his landlord talk to his boss. Something adult and reeking of responsibility.

Never knew what happened because the next thing I know is that he’s trying to get money for bus fare to Oklahoma because he had to leave right! away!.

Putting the puzzle pieces I had to work with in place, I think what happened was Elvis wanted to live his way and the landlord had rules regarding who or what goes on in his property. Elvis started posting pictures of tattoos he was doing and I’m sure the caliper of people who would get tattooed by someone like Elvis aren’t the kind of people the landlord wanted hanging around.

Elvis also has a quick temper and I’m thinking that something went down.. the police were called and he decided his best move was to get out of the state.

Don’t really know.. and really, don’t really care. I’ve been bit by the dog too many times to keep trying to pet him.

Elvis kind of fell off the face of the earth so I really can’t give you a current update.

… well, baby’s up from his nap which means my time no longer belongs to me!!!!

 

 

2013: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

It’s kinda messed up when WordPress sends you an email calling you a loser for hardly posting ANY.THING in 2013.

Like, really, WordPress? REALLY?

At any rate.. in keeping with the tradition, we’re going to trip the light fandango and re-hash 2013 “Leese-Style”.

OMG! But let me just say that maybe.. JUST maybe WordPress.. I’d post more if the damn site didn’t change every bloody time I logged on! Jeez.. I mean.. I’m getting too freakin’ old and too freakin’ busy to have to relearn everything.

Rant ended

Okay.. so anyway, here we go!

The Good
T3 is now 18 months of boy-monkey stuck on extreme. Climbing everything and racing around the house bouncing off of walls like pinball. No seriously. He’s made “bouncing off walls” an art form with the bruises to prove it. His pediatrician tells me this is all normal.. that little boys are made of rubber and the only way they smarten up is to bang every part of their body on every hard surface available.

Yeah.. ok.. but you can’t blame me for sticking one of those Michael-Jackson-Kid-Disguises on him when we’re in public. Why waste CYS’ time with an investigation, right?

NOTE: That was a joke, people.

Anyway…

So he’s talking up a storm in his own made-up language :: I have to make time to take the Rosetta Stone course :: but does say “Hi”; “MomMom”; “Baba”; “Juice”; “Teddy”; “FuckYouBitch”.

Okay.. so maybe the last one he says in his made-up language but believe me, the body language is QUITE clear!!

Given his beginnings, he is a very healthy, normal, well-adjusted kid who gives BIG HUGS and kisses unless he doesn’t want to and then he just squirms out of your arms saying “NO MOMMOM!”

I do believe him scarring me will be far worse then any scars he’ll have from me!

18 Months Ago

Today (well about a week ago)

As for me, I’m loving my job as a Revenue Cycle Manager for a company that has 10 medical practices nationally. Not sure how much ranting, bitching and complaining I’ve done since last year but the thumbnail is that the company I started working for in May 2011 was sold in December 2011 to a bunch of Southern gentleman who had issues with Yankee woman.

I’ll be kind and just leave it at that.

At any rate, these lovely :: vomit in my mouth :: Southern gentleman made the decision in February 2012 to close my office effective September 2012.

“Oh Shit!” you might say on my behalf but the one thing these Southern gentleman would not give us Yankee woman credit for is “moxy”.

Ok.. ok.. BALLS.

Just to make this a little easier to understand.. I work in the area of healthcare that provides a specialty service. When I worked for Company 1, there were very few people doing what we did and if they did.. they were no where NEAR as successful because Company 1 was owned by the “founding father” of the service. But in all things healthcare, it’s the biggest fish in the pond that has all the bars of gold. It’s difficult to have a privately held practice anymore and so Company 1 had the “For Sale” stuck to it and offers from Company 2 and Company 3.

Company 2 was a bunch of Southern Gents that thought that God held them as high as He did Jesus. Company 3 were newer to the industry and didn’t have as much money to hook the sale.

So I became a number in Company 2’s files.

But they didn’t like to play nice in the sandbox and more importantly, the didn’t know what they didn’t know so processes that proved very lucrative were abolished and our lives quickly spiraled down to Dante’s 6th level of hell.

And when I tell you we were miserable.. we were M.I.S.E.R.A.B.L.E.

So my boss.. the least liked of the Yankee woman.. went to Company 3 and said, “.. listen, if you want to be the biggest, baddest mother fuckers in the industry, take Company 2 down and make a whole bunch of money while doing it then I have a whole office of people that can start on Monday“.

And that’s basically what happened. We all gave our notices.. left on Friday and started working for Company 3 on Monday and it’s been awesome. Chaotic, yes. Plenty of WTF moments but the staff that came with us and the staff that we hired fit like puzzle pieces and we’ve been achieving great things.

Plus my boss is The. Best. CEO. Ever!

He’ll never ever ever ever read that but I know how blessed I am to not only be working but doing what I love and loving who I do it for.

For those of you who remember Consuela, I’m sad to say that she’s gone to the great RV park in the sky and was replaced with Estelle.

Okay.. so we raped Consuela for all her parts and appliances and rebuilt Estelle from the ground up but it was a necessity. Consuela was HUGE and was a pain in the ass to haul around. Plus, I was spending 75.00 bucks a pop to store her. Estelle fits nicely in our driveway.

As far as the kids go, I guess it would fit into the “good” category since adding “indifferent” to the title would just seem like a bitchy thing to do.

Spaz is 15 now.. doing better in school and really isn’t so much of a “spaz” anymore. I would change his name but after what? 7 years of calling him “Spaz” it would just be too confusing to change it. Most of his time is spent in his room on the computer. I don’t look in there. I’m afraid.

Bubba graduated high school this past June. A feat that was either going to have the angels singing or the four horseman clopping down the highway. He was suppose to enlist but didn’t. He was suppose to get a job but didn’t. He was still living with is friend’s family up until last week when he suddenly wanted to move in with Chief’s brother Sarge. Don’t know why. Don’t really care.

Weed is supposedly doing well (that indifferent thing again). From what I am made to understand :: let’s not get into that now :: he is living in a sober house, is working, has a girlfriend with a 6 year old daughter :: let’s NOT get into that now :: and less then hardly ever sees T3 let and never calls to ask how he is.

Bubba and Weed not being around definitely puts my life in the GOOD category!!

The Bad

I can honestly say that there hasn’t been any “bad” this past year.

Yes, things were hard. Money was tight. I’ve grieved for people I love who have passed on and have been aggravated, pissed of, sad, angry, depressed, etc. etc. etc.

But I really can’t say anything was “Bad”

Or maybe I’m intentionally blacking out the memory. :: shrug ::. I’ll take it!

The Ugly

The only thing that belongs here is T3’s mother. And no, I’m not referring to her looks :: although the Ronald McDonald red hair gives sooooo much fodder :: I’m referring to her involvement in T3’s life.

Let’s be blunt.

I want her no where near him.

But, ultimately, it’s Chief’s decision because he is the one with the custody. And let’s be frank, shall we? He doesn’t have the balls to keep her away the same why he didn’t have the balls to keep the Crack Whore away from his own kids. So he’ll trump me and it pisses me off and then I get pissed at him and then he gets stupid because he doesn’t get why I’m pissed and it’s this whole merry-go-round of drama that I’d rather avoid.

Tried the ride the first time and threw up my lunch, so.. You pick and choose your fights, yknow?

Anyway, on the flip side of that, I have to say that she actually has an interest in her son.. wants to spend time with him and buys him stuff when she can.

A HELLA lot more then Weed does.

She isn’t allowed take him anywhere on her own (I so won that battle) so when she does take him, she’s either with her sister (who’s a parent and a relative good standing member of society) and/or her mother who we see regularly because she cuts our lunch meat at the deli counter in the super market we go to. Pays to be friendly to the lady cutting your lunch meat.. even if you ARE raising her grandson with not one phone call, visit or offer to help with anything. So far there was a zoo trip, park trip, orchard trip and trick-or-treating.

Her sister passes along stuff like jackets and snow suits and things that her 4 year old son had grown out of and now that she’s working, she spent tons of money that she didn’t have to on buying T3 toys and clothes and stuffed animals for Christmas.

But do I really have to explain how my stomach twists inside and out when she’s around him or takes him somewhere?

And I guess that’s the root of it. I’m raising him. I do the dirty work. I put the blood, sweat and tears into raising a well adjusted boy so he won’t grow up to be a broken man. MY life came to a screeching halt 18 months ago when I lost the ability to sleep when I wanted, buy what I wanted, go where I wanted when I wanted, remove myself from the center of the universe and put T3 in my place… and I resent the fuck out of the fact that she can breeze in when she wants, play mommy when she wants and then goes back to living her life the way she wants to.

Don’t get me wrong.. I do NOT regret my grandson. I do NOT regret raising my grandson. Coming home from work and having him race across the room yelling “MomMom” is far better then any ugly she brings into the fold.

It just sucks.

It’s close to midnight so I hope every one of you has great things in store for you in the coming year. I hope you are blessed beyond your own limitations and that you and your loved ones are safe and prosperous in 2014!

 

FINALLY!! Free Time To Post!!

Knock.. Knock!!

Hello?

Anybody.. um.. out there??

Oh! Hey! How are you? Waiting long? Yea.. sorry. My days have been kinda consumed. (shrug).. I know.. I know.. no excuse but… Oh! Hey! Hold still a minute.. you have some cobwebs hanging off you.

There you go. Oh.. no problem. It’s the least I can do since you’ve been hanging around so long waiting for me.

What have I been up to?

THIS GUY!

Yep.. my 5lb 8oz drug addicted grandson is now a healthy, strong, stubborn 13 month old! It’s been a long year.. it’s been a fast year.. it’s been fun, frustrating, sleep deprived, rewarding, drama filled.. pick a word and I can guarantee that I have a story for it!

But I wouldn’t change any of it if it meant that I wouldn’t have that face smooshing mine.. or have those little arms grab onto my legs when I come home from work.

So listen.. I’m going to go grab some coffee and catch you up.

And hey.. thanks! It’s good to be back, too!

 

 

 

 

… How We Got To Here

.. that being what’s happening since I last posted.
If you need to know how the baby came about… Well, either your too young to be on this blog or you have more important things you should be researching on the Internet!

Anyway… Let’s start with Wednesday night and see how far we get. Exhaustion, y’know .. And chicken pecking on the iPad…

So..

Wednesday night I come home from work and Weed’s ass is parked on my couch. Of course it is.
Because the hospital INSISTS each adult living in the house HAS to spend at least one night with the baby I have to suffer through it Wednesday into Thursday in order for him to be released.

I come home thinking I’ll take a nap before going to the hospital because I figure I’m going to be up most of the night anyway.. Why fight sleep to boot.

So I go in my room… Put on the latest episode of The Glee Project and veg out.

And no.. I didn’t take a nap because I had to watch the latest Design Star, too.

Anyway…

A little before 7, Chief comes into the bedroom and tells me that he’s going to drive Weed back to where ever it is he goes to at night.

Oh??? Um, he’s not coming to the hospital?

Chief tells me, laden with sarcasm, the Weed told him he has ” something important” to do.

Really? Because.. Um… Seeing your infant son in the hospital isn’t important?

Chief puts his hands up in the don’t-get-me-started way and I shrug.

When he comes back, I’m already packed and ready to go so we loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly… Hills, that it.. Black gold.. Texas tea…

Heh… Sorry!! Sleep deprivation kicked in!

… We loaded up the car and drive to the hospital.

On the way there I asked Chief what does someone with no job, no place to live and a withdrawing baby have to do that soooooo important.

Chief said that Weed told him he was going to hang out with his friend, the bi-sexual prostitute druggie.

Only he said her proper name and I was like.. Are you FUCKING kidding me? I’ve known this girl for years.. All the rumors I’ve heard about her then.. And now.. Are true. ALL of them… And THIS is the something important????

Chief tells me when Weed told him where he was going to he put on the breaks and pulled the car over. He said to Weed, “Let me get this straight.. You think getting wasted and screwing the bi-sexual prostitute druggie while your son is in the hospital and his mother is in jail IMPORTANT???? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR”

… and he did. Think it was important and got out of the car.

Chief was BEYOND livid… And it only got worse.

I’ll post more about what happened when the baby came home and where Weed’s been for the past three days tomorrow after I find my laptop cord..

You won’t believe it.. I don’t believe it and I’m living it..

But I will part with these words of wisdom from Chief:

Let it go. I’ve been thru this with the Crack Whore.. You’ll get aggregated because they won’t tell you the truth and you’ll know they’re not telling you the truth.. It’ll bother you way more the n it’ll bother them.. That will play itself out. He’ll either get t together, OD or wind up back in jail.. In the meantime, we have this innocent little baby that will feel everything you feel.. That’s what happened with Spaz and the baby don’t deserve that because we’re suppose to be giving him a better life.

Words to live by..