@#$%^&*

Is there post traumatic stress syndrome for snow fall?

There really should be…

Think about it ..

People here that snow’s coming so they rush to the market to get the “essentials” :: bread, eggs, milk, coffee, sweet tarts :: all at the same time .. sliding through stop signs and traffic lights.. cursing other drivers over parking spaces.. etc.

I love the people that will buy SHOPPING CARTS full of bread, milk and eggs because of a storm. Like, really people?? Even when we got 70″ last year, the roads were clear enough the following day to travel on .. it’s not like we’re in the middle of the boonies with no access to paved roads.

I hate snow for a variety of reasons but mostly different from normal people:

I hate the kids tracking snow through the house ..

I hate when they throw their wet coats over the dining room chairs instead of hanging them on the front porch

I hate when they whine that their boots are wet when they’re told AS SOON AS THEY COME IN to take them off and but them upside down on the heater to dry out

I hate when they bang the snow off their shoes and the dogs start barking like we’re being invaded by strangers .. three kids.. six feet..  get the idea?

I hate when the snow plow builds the Waaaaallllll Oooooooofffff Snnoooowww all around my property and you have to climb a mountain to get to the car… because this size 16 ass sinks to the bottom of it.

But don’t worry .. I’ll be bitching about how damn hot it is in a few months! It all evens out!

Here’s the obligatory pictures. Only one is mine.. the rest I swiped off of my friend’s pages on Facebook because I really didn’t feel like taking pictures of the same old scenes and I wasn’t about to get all suited up in snow gear to go outside!! LoL!

Wall Of Snow .. appears smaller then it really is

 

Mind you, the door where I took this picture from is a lot higher then the street so what looks like a mole hill is actually a mountain.

I live on a corner property and since the plows always plow to the right of the driver, this mountain goes all the way around the side of my house.

Expect it to still be there in April.

 

 

 

 

D's car ..

 

This is my friend D’s car.

She lives in the inner city.

It doesn’t really look so bad but considering that D is an uber-fashionista who doesn’t know what it’s like to where shoes with a heel less then 3″ .. regardless of weather .. I can imagine that she had a minor freak out when she saw her car.

I also don’t think she knows that therma guard gloves and hat’s meant to keep a body warm exist.

 

 

J's hood

 

 

J also lives in the inner city.

When you live in the city, you don’t get plowed like we get plowed.. especially on side streets and you get a fine if you shovel your side walk snow into the street.

That actually makes sense but makes people crazy.

What also makes them crazy .. and lethal, in some cases, is when someone digs their car out of a parking space and tries to “save” it with beach chairs or buckets or whatever. Snow makes people crazy, let me tell you!

 

L's development

 

L lives in a “community” in New Jersey.

The kind of place that tells you what color to paint your house and how tall your grass is allowed to grow.

I’m figuring next year they’ll amend their community regs to include just how much snow one is allowed to accumulate before they issue a fine.

Hey.. times are tough all over, right?

L actually has it good because the back of his property slopes down .. fun for sledding without the embarrassment of having neighbors laughing at your simple 45 years old ass when you fall off and get snow burn on your face.

 

 

 

So to all you lovely readers experiencing weather ABOVE 31 degrees, I have a few words for you… but I’m not allowed to say them because I was raised right!!

LoL ..

Road Trip Part 2: Rt 80

Ok..

So just wanted to let y’all know that any pictures on this post were lifted from the internet. I would have preferred to put up my own pictures but with conditions what they were, the last thing on my mind was taking pictures.

You can understand that, right?

Alrighty then..

So after spending our first night in Consuela :: a lot more comfortable then I thought it was going to be :: we woke up and had to get started on what needed to be done so that we can leave by noon. It’s a five hour drive to West Virginia and that would put us where we needed to be just as it was getting dark.

And, you know, that’s important because I already told you what happens when I drive in the dark.

Chief was intent on working on the generator because when we parked Consuela next, there wouldn’t be an electrical hook up. So we drove down to the gas station about a mile away. It had snowed over night so the roads were coated. Driving around a curve, the car started to fishtail but I easily recovered from it.

CHIEF: You turned into the spin! I’m proud of you!

ME: Oh.. I know how to get out of a spin. I didn’t even think about it.

CHIEF: That’s good to know!

Remember that little conversation, ok? Ok.

We get to the gas station and we two cups of coffee.. a can of starter fluid.. brake fluid.. two gallons of water and a half pound of both cheese and ham. I had asked the woman to slice the ham ultra thin.

We head back to Consuela and when Chief went to start her.. she wouldn’t start. She had run out of gas again.

So back to the gas station we go. Driving around the loop to get out of the camp ground, the car slip and I almost slammed into the concrete structured restroom. Not a good sign but I chalked it up to not paying attention and off to the gas station we went. Because the gas can we already had held 2 gallons, we bought one that held 5. The new can came with a long hose that would have passed the slip in the gas tank we had discovered the night before but the King of Idiocy forgot to take it out of the container before he filled it with gas.

Anyway.. we return to Consuela and Chief is doing his best to get the generator going.. but it wasn’t going to happen. He did manage to get the secondary battery installed (that battery being the battery that died in my station wagon on Thursday causing us to have to buy a new battery for the wagon.. an expense that was NOT in the plan) .. and the windshield wipers working (important!).

The generator though, was bothering me and I made the suggestion of maybe staying another night in the campground to give him more time to get it working. Plus, I was worried about the snow and the reports that the western half of the state was going to get hit by storms.

Chief didn’t want to stay another night.. it was going to cost us 35 bucks and he felt the money would be better served in the gas tank. We still had 380 miles to travel to West Virginia.

We get everything packed up and start our journey.

Both Consuela and the wagon needed gas and since the gas station we had already been to twice was right near the entrance to Rt 80W we pulled into there.

Chief swiped my debit card in his pump and while he’s gassing up, I swipe the card at my pump. Mistake. One that if I wasn’t so nervous about the drive ahead I would have never considered doing.. because trying to swipe that card before his transaction was completed made it seem like something fishy was going on and my card stopped working. I tried using it at the ATM. My thought was that if the card was going to give me issues then I would just empty out the bank account. I know that the 191.00 check for Consuela’s title and tags was outstanding but I figured she couldn’t deposit it until Monday and it wouldn’t clear until at least Wednesday. By that time, my next to last unemployment check would be in and it would be covered.

Sure. I’d might get hit with an overdraft fee somewhere but that was better then getting stuck far from home with no money, no access to money and no where to get money from if we were stuck.

Only the ATM wouldn’t give me money. I was trying to take out 180.00 but it told me that the amount was invalid.

Ok. Deep breath.

No problem.. just a simple call to the bank to explain the situation and all would be good. Right?

Not even close.

The first thing the bank rep said to me after I told her we were a loooooooooooong way from home and traveling even further was that I should have notified them that we were traveling out of our usual area so they wouldn’t see charges and think the card was stolen.

Um. Come on. Really? REALLY? Do I also need to notify the governor and state representatives?

Whatever.

I told explained to her what had happened.. why I thought it happened and that it needed to be fixed PRONTO.

She asked me for my card number.. asked me for the expiration date.. and then told me that I was using the wrong card. That was NOT the card they had on record.

Are you $%^&*# kiddng me??

No. Really. ARE. YOU. @#$%^& KIDDING. ME???

I used THIS card THREE TIMES in the LAST HOUR and it was FINE until we we tried to both gas up at THE SAME TIME.

No. This isn't my card.. I swiped it off the 'net

So here was the deal:

TD Bank took over Commerce Bank. In an attempt to unify all the accounts TD issued new debit cards to all their customers regardless of if they needed one or not. They send the new card out last June, I believe, with instruction to have the new card activated and cut up the old card.

I did get the new card (it does not have embossed numbers).. stuck it in my handbag and promptly did nothing with it.

My old card (with embossed numbers) continued to work and never once did I have any type of issue with it until now.

The bank rep was INSISTING that that was what the problem was. She did not want to HEAR that I had used the card multiple times.. at the same place.. in the last hour ..

Useless.

However .. and thanks can only be given to God .. I still had the new, non-embossed card in my handbag. So I conceded and had the new card activated knowing that it had absolutely nothing to do with what the issue was. And sure enough, I still couldn’t use it at the gas pump.. and sure enough, the same problem was happening at the ATM.

The bank rep insisted that it was the gas stations ATM. Of course it was. The same way it was the notary’s fax machine.

I was, oddly enough, able to take out $20.00. Which I did 9 times in order to get as much cash in my pocket as possible. That left a balance of 17.00 in the account. I was sooo reluctant to part with the cash so I asked the cashier if it was possible to swipe my card inside. She was and I asked her to put it through as credit for 15.00.

And thanks can only be given to God because the transaction went through and we were finally all set to start the second let of our trip.

I don’t know why, but as we hugged each other before getting into our respective vehicles, I started to cry. Which may sound ridiculous because where was he going? 20 feet behind me? But you have to understand that this was a BIG trip.. in the snow.. where we didn’t have any kind of communication and I was in the lead. It was a lot of pressure.. a lot of stress.. a lot of fright. And I just wanted to be next to him.. or him next to me.. and I really, REALLY didn’t want to drive 5 hours.

He was touched but then I had to suck it up and get my butt in gear because we had already lost 1.5 hours because of the bank thing.

We get on 80W and were suppose to be on 80W for 266 miles, planning to stop every 50 miles so that Chief can add more gas to Consuela. Apparently, the gas gage didn’t work and neither did the speedometer.

Swell.

Getting on and off the highway was going to be rough because of the snow.. not knowing if I was going to need to turn left or right.. traffic lights, etc. For ME it would be ok, but I was worried about Chief and Consuela.

After the first 50 miles, we got off and it was not exactly ok but without incident. Except when Consuela started sliding and it seemed like she was going to slide into the old man and his car at the pump in front of her.

ME: You’re sliding

CHIEF: I KNOW!!

ME: Well, STOP IT!

Sometimes even I am amazed at the ridiculous things I say.

We put another 50 bucks in (total so far $110.00) and got back on our way. I, of course, blow the entrance back on the highway but Chief was smart enough to realize it and was able to pull over on the on-ramp until I could find a place to make a U-Turn and meet up with him.

About a half hour into the drive, we hit another snow storm. And boy, was it snowing! I had heat.. Chief didn’t. I had wiper fluid.. Chief didn’t. Rt 80 is a well traveled highway..

Truckers LOVE this highway..

Truckers don’t necessary love being behind an emotional woman worried to death about her husband driving a 30 year old RV, now being referred to as The Death Trap.

Every time they passed me.. showing their annoyance by cutting the pass way too close, my windshield got glazed with salt making it almost impossible to see. Windshield wiper fluid was only doing so much to help.

And then it happened. Trouble.

We had agreed that if Chief had to pull over for any reason, he would flash his headlights.

Which he did, about an hour into the drive and my heart stopped.

I pulled over onto the shoulder that was edged with rumble strips designed to wake a sleeping driver who was veering off the road. Because of the snow, I couldn’t tell if it was safe to pull the car further onto the shoulder. I didn’t know how much room I had before I plunged into a gully.. or a valley, for that matter.

Chief passed me so that he could pull over in front of me.. him needing more room to slow Consuela down to a stop.. and then I jumped back on the highway to pull up behind him.

I guess my nerves started to affect me. Why did he have to pull over? Was Consuela on the verge of dying? Was something going to blow up? What if it did? What if he got stuck in there? All these things playing in my head and when I pulled up behind him going a little too fast, I put my foot on the breaks and did nothing but slide. Almost right into the back of Consuela.

Thanks can only be given to God that the wagon came to a stop about an inch and half away from Consuela’s spare tire.

I jumped out and ran over to Chief.. his windshield wipers stopped working and with all the trucks blowing salt, he wasn’t able to see anything.

I swear I wanted to lose my bowels right then and there.

But again, with thanks being only given to God, he banged on the motor and the wipers started working. I still think I should have put on a pair of Depends!

Back on the road we went and the weather started to steadily decline. The snow was coming down harder.. the wind was getting stronger and driving became very, very difficult.

About two hours in, I ran out of windshield wiper fluid.

The storm was bad enough that the locals were smart enough to stay home so the highway was loaded with nothing but trucks and their salt spray.

I saw a sign for a rest stop .. with the next one being 58 miles away and decided that we were going to have to pull in because I couldn’t drive another 58 miles without windshield wiper fluid and now, at 3:30 is was getting harder to see because it was getting dark.

I put my blinker on and pull off onto the exit ramp.. the ramp split into two, cars on the right and tracks and trailers on the left.

Because Chief had to stay at some distance behind me, I was too busy looking  in my rear view mirror watching for his headlights that I didn’t realize that I had veered to the right of the snow tracks made by other cars and started to fishtail right into a picnic area.

I panicked and did what you are NOT suppose to do in this situation .. jammed on my brakes.. which only made things 100 times worse .. I released the brake and tried to regain control of the car but it was too late.. I was headed for the picnic table area and on a beeline to run into the two yellow safety poles that was on either side of a STOP sign.

Once again, thanks can only be given to God because my car went right between the yellow safety poles.. ran right over the Stop sign and slid into a parking slot with no damage to the car.

I didn’t know that at the time, though.. When the car stopped, I was toast. I was so emotional and broke down sobbing. What were we going to do if something happened to the wagon? We had no money for a tow.. no money to fix it.. nothing.

Chief missed all this.. he had to veer to the left coming into the rest stop because of the size of Consuela and when he walked over to the car shivering like an epileptic because he was frozen to the bone.. he had absolutely no clue about me skidding and taking out a sign.

I was sobbing big croc tears saying “.. I can’t do this anymore! I never wanted to do this!” and told him what had happened and why I pulled over.

He was more then understanding. He may have an issue with patience, but he knew that this was taking a toll on me big time.

We decided to stay over the night in the rest stop. It was about 8 degrees out and Consuela was worse then freezing but Chief turned on all the stove burners and the oven and put our coffee pot full of water on one burner so that the steam would heat up Consuela faster.

It was funny because if you stood up, you were warm from the neck up.. but if you sat back down, frost would come out of your  mouth.

We made Raman noodles.. which were THE best Raman I ever had!! .. made coffee.. and settled in.

But I couldn’t stop the emotions from coming. All I kept thinking about is the next 3 hours of driving and petrified that something would happen to him.. I realized just how much I love this man and just how devastated I would be if something bad happened. I was emotional for me, also. I explained to Chief that while he had led a life of adventure this really was my first on this kind of scale .. and not having the money in case something went wrong.. or being alone and far away from anyone who could help us scared me. A lot.

He understood.. he knew how afraid I was and the only thing he could say in comfort is that God had a plan for us and He would keep us safe.

In my heart I know that.. and while it does give me peace to know that, the emotions just got to me and I had to let them all out.

But we did have fun.. laughing and joking around and being stupid and the whatnot.

The plan was that we would pull out of the rest stop early int he morning.. he said 3, I said 4. By that time, the highway would be cleared and salted.. there would be less traffic and by the time we would have to get off the highway, we’d be hitting daylight.

Chief also said that if the propane ran out, we would have to get moving immediately because there was a chance of freezing to death without any heat.

But, thanks only to God, the propane lasted all night and we didn’t wake up until 5am.

We both slept hard.. we needed it. I needed it.

To Be Continued…

Road Trip Part 1: Lock Haven

Okay..

I think I have enough coffee in me to post about the weekend trip to just about everywhere it snowed! LoL! But I think to save your sanity and WordPress’s servers, I’ll going to split it up into multiple posts.

You’ll thank me later.. I swear!

On to it ..

Did you ever hear someone say, “.. oh, you should have seen her when she was younger?” .. Like, I don’t know.. a really old actress or something who’s better days were A LOT of days ago? Well.. that’s Consuela.

Consuela being the christened name of the 30′  1979 Dodge Fleetwood Southwind RV that we bought for 800.00 bucks.

This is what Consuela looked like back in the day

Not sure if I ever wrote about it on here but we found Consuela on Craigslist and let’s just say it was more then a chore getting her in our possession. The people we bought her from didn’t really use her the way she was intended to be used.

She stayed park in one spot during the summer and then was parked in another spot 2 miles away for the remainder of the year.

The first time we drove up to get her.. there was an issue with finding the keys and then an issue with finding a battery for it.. and then an issue with the title.. just a whole LOT of issues.. MORE issues then I like. Me being of the Plan! Plan! Plan! mind set and all. That was also the time when the Crack Whore was making all these allegations via text messages about leaving Spaz home by himself and then refusing to answer her phone resulting in us having to drive home.

Water under the bridge, right?

Oh yea. Riiiigghhhttt.

At any rate…

So as I posted HERE, we had to drive up to Lock Haven, PA on Friday to get Consuela which takes about 4 hours. Then we were going to stay over night.. Drive the 5 hours to West Virginia on Saturday.. stay over night.. and then drive the 9 hours back home on Sunday.

What did I just write about Plan! Plan! Plan!? Hmph.

Consuela

So Friday morning I wake up sick. Not “sick” sick.. but my stomach was bad and my head felt like there was a marble spinning in it. Not the proper condition to drive 4 hours.

Oh.. and did I mention there was a snow storm going on?

Yea.. snow is going to play a HUGE part in this.

Anyway.. so it’s snowing and I’m feeling too loopy to drive so Chief jumps behind the wheel of the station wagon that’s loaded with blankets and pillows and food and a heater and tools and Jimmy Hoffa and away we go.

Now, I’m not a good passenger. I’ve been getting car sick ever since I was a kid so unless the only place we’re going is around the corner, I’m always the driver. That’s just to let you know how sick I was really feeling because not only did I NOT get car sick, but I actually slept through most of the trip.

Not that it matters.. right now I’m hyper caffeinated so I’m over detailing everything. My apologies!

Anyway.. I had contacted the owners a few days prior to make sure they had everything ready to go and that there wasn’t going to be the kind of delays there were the previous trip. I explained AGAIN that we can’t keep tossing out the 80.00 bucks in gas it takes to get there and that we were on an EXTREMELY tight budget .. financially and time wise .. this weekend. She assured me that every was like greased lightening.. no issues.. no problems..

Consuela and Chief

You know it can’t be that easy, right? It’s me here, remember?

We get up to Lock Haven around 1:30pm and meet the couple.. who had just returned from WalMart with one of those emergency battery starters. Not a good sign.

No problem, Chief tells me. You have to expect this kind of thing when it’s been as cold as it’s been and Consuela has just been sitting since the summer.

We decide that Chief would stay with Consuela and the guy we bought it from so that they could get her started and I would go to the notary with the wife to change the title.

I’m glad the notary wasn’t far because she drove like a freakin’ maniac and I was going to hurl within the first ten minutes of the drive.

Anyway .. on the ride there I ask her if she had taken care of the title. She said she had.

NOTE: On the previous visit, she told me that the title was never put in their names. Some one had given it to them to repay a debt and it did nothing but sit on their river lot until the decided to sell it.

Oh.. but she hadn’t. The only thing she did was have the guy who’s name it was titled in sign the back. Not good. Not even legal. And she was told just how illegal it was by the notary woman who so no-nonsense she made an old school nun seem like a harlot. I’m biting the inside of my cheek because I was just thisdamnclose to saying somethings that I really didn’t need to say to someone who was my ride back.

Note to Self: ALWAYS take your own car when doing anything of any legal consequence that involves people you will never see again.

So she calls the dude that was listed on the title and explains to him that he needed to come down to the notary so that we can switch the title. He says he can’t because he was watching his grandkids. I am now a firm believer that the “ghetto eye shift” is universally understood because she started saying how we had driven the four hours, blah blah blah. She got the point right away that if this deal didn’t happen that day, I was going to want my 800.00 bucks back. Pronto. The dude says he could be there at 3 and I was like fine. I had to get Consuela insured and needed the VIN number to do that so all that could be done by the time 3 rolled around.

We go back to where Consuela is parked and Chief and the husband have had no luck getting her started. Well, she was starting but wasn’t staying started. I explained what was going on with the title. He wasn’t thrilled either but there wasn’t anything to do at that point but wait.

I get the insurance (86.00.. with only 24.00 down. Can you STAND it??) and give the notary’s fax number so that Geico can fax a copy of the insurance card to her.

We tell the couple that we’re going to follow them back to the notary to meet the dude because both Chief and I were starving and it didn’t make sense for all of us to go in their truck and have them wait around for us. Especially because I would have felt obligated to offer to buy them lunch and not only couldn’t I afford to.. didn’t want to.. or thought they deserved it.. it’s just how I was raised.

Back to the notary we go.. and the notary hadn’t gotten the fax with my proof of insurance. Great. So I jump on the phone and call Geico while we wait for the dude. He shows.. gets a tongue lashing from the notary.. I have Geico resend the fax.. the couple leave.. the second fax never comes. Great.

So I tell the notary that we’re going to grab something to eat because Chief is ready to pass out and maybe by the time we get back she’ll have the fax.

I go out to the car and tell a very hungry husband that we still have to wait and he says to call Geico again.. just to make sure.

I do and the third rep I talk to confirms that the faxes were send and did I think it was maybe the receiving fax machine that was the issue? Ok.. and I’m suppose to know that HOW? So I go back into the notary and nope.. hasn’t gotten any faxes and when I questioned whether maybe her fax wasn’t working properly you might have thought I asked her if she had false teeth.

Upstate people get offended by the craziest things!

I ask her, via the Geico rep, if she has an email address that the insurance info can be sent to.

Nope. Her computer wasn’t working.

FANfreakinTASTIC! I’m literally about to either cry or bust out the city girl can of whoop because how can a state agent NOT have a computer that works OR a fax machine that wasn’t from the 1980’s when insuring a vehicle the same time your processing the title and tags in the norm?

But I did neither. I just stood there with the Geico rep on the phone looking pathetic.

Which, of course, made the notary remember about her daughter’s computer and email address. Her daughter that just happened to be sitting in the kitchen of the notary’s home that was located right on the OTHER SIDE of the office wall. Yea.. we were in one of those towns.

So while the Geico rep is repeating “.. is it there yet? is it there yet? is it there yet? is it there yet?” in my ear.. and the notary is finalizing another vehicle for another customer.. and Chief is almost past out from hunger in the wagon.. I’m saying a prayer that everything is going to go the way it’s suppose to go because God gives you delays for a reason.

I would be saying that prayer a LOT this road trip.

Finally the email comes through.. we finalize the transaction and $191.00 later (in a check, which you’ll see is an important fact a little later on) I walk out with the tags and temporary registration.

By now it’s almost 4pm and my next concern is daylight. Or rather, how little of it we have left.

A few things you need to know:

• I don’t do well driving at  night.. especially in unfamiliar places
• Chief is going to be following me in a 3o year old RV that hasn’t been driven more then 3 miles in the last year
• We wouldn’t have any way to communicate between us.. because the King and Queen of Idiocy never picked up walkie talkies
• The campsite we were taking it to was a good 25+ miles away.. 10 miles if I wanted to be suicidal and drive through the  mountain on snow covered secondary access roads no wider then my car

Daylight was something I did NOT want to lose!

When we get back to Consuela .. she still wasn’t running. They would get her started by juicing up the battery but as soon as she went into gear she’d stall. Let me tell you, the guy we bought her from and his father in law were both working like donkey’s to get her to go.. and even though it was noble, I still think it was because they thought we’d want our money back.

Every minute that ticked by.. every shade darker the sky got.. the more annoyed I was getting. Chief knew it.. he can read my face better then anyone.. but if there’s one thing this man knows besides cooking it’s cars and motors. He knew that everything on Consuela was frozen and she just needed to be rocked back and forth until everything that would make her run got warmed up and stretched out.

And of course, he was right. Eventually .. at 6pm, we were ready to roll.

Did I mention it was dark then?

Did I mention how dark it gets upstate?

Oh.. and did I mention that highway lights or street lights haven’t made it to that part of the country yet??

I had previously called the camp ground that we were suppose to stay at last time we were up here and they were expecting us. They remembered us from the last time we were suppose to stay there because we paid for the site up front but because of all the drama with Consuela, the kids and the Crack Whore we never actually stayed there. The owner, Bruce, told me that he owed us a night.. which was really sweet and what we didn’t find out until later was that the camp ground was actually closed for the winter. He opened the gates just for us.

NOTE: Shameless plug for Holiday Pines Camp Ground in Loganton, PA. !

Ok.. so we’re finally on our way but we have to get gas in Consuela and still get something to eat. Driving on roads only lit by my headlights and constantly eyeballing my rear view mirror making sure that Chief and Consuela are behind me was so taxing that when I made the right turn off the side road and onto the main road, I didn’t realize that it was a two lane road and that I was in the lane of oncoming traffic until I saw headlights coming at me.

Not fun.

The gas station wasn’t that far down the TWO LANE main road and just as Chief was maneuvering Consuela to the gas pumps, she died. And I wanted to die right along with her. Not really.. but my heart sank. So did Chief’s. I can’t even describe the feeling.. but with only the Lord above to thank, poor Consuela only needed gas.

Did I mention that there was a split in the gas tank up where you put the gas nozzle in? So like, for every 5 gallons we put in we lost like half a gallon. Not good when you’re on a limited budget and you got a gas eater on  your hands.. a gas eater that eats MORE gas when driving into the wind.

I did mention there was a snow storm, right?

Ok.. so we get her started and all we wanted to do was drive RIGHT. ACROSS. THE. ROAD. to the Golden Arches of McDonald’s. It’s almost 7 by now and neither of us has eaten all day.

Right across the road.. what could possibly go wrong.

Me driving at night with Chief behind me in a 30′ box that doesn’t bend when you make turns and doesn’t stop on a dime, either is what happens.

I wound up missing the turn into McDonald’s because there wasn’t going to be enough time for Chief to stop Consuela behind me so we had to drive all the way back down the road to where we had come out of the secondary road earlier and I knew I should have just turned up that secondary road but I saw a parking lot on my right that was big enough for Chief to turn around in but instead of turning into the parking lot, I wound up turning onto a street .. one of those never ending winding ones that seemed like it was just going to go on and on forever before it put you on a highway.

If I could read minds, I think Chief would have had not problem turning me into dog meat right then.

And again, thanks  can only be given to God because not only can this man cook.. not only does he know cars and motors.. but he is also used to driving things the size of Consuela so he was able to pull a three point turn and we finally found our way back to McDonald’s. Where.. with only thanks given to God.. there was enough empty spaces in the parking lot on a Friday night to park Consuela.

We ate and then made our way to the camp ground.. which thankfully.. was uneventful except when we had to turn down a dark, narrow, snow covered road to get there and I was kind of confused as to which way to go so while stopped at a stop sign, I put the address into the TomTom. There was a local that was behind Chief who just couldn’t wait anymore so he blasted around us. Other then that, we got there and we got Consuela plugged in to the electricity so we had juice to run the heater we had brought. And good thing too because the generator wasn’t working and in 13 degree weather, you really need to keep warm!

We were excited. All the drama forgotten, we kept on giggling “.. we got an RV” to each other like kids on Christmas morning. It was something we both had always wanted for years and one of our earliest conversation was about how cool it would be to have one.

There was a whole tank of propane so while he got the stove working to make coffee,  I pulled the bed out and loaded them down with all the blankets we had brought with us. Because make no mistake.. it was FREEZING in there.

We had brought provision but one thing we hadn’t thought about was water. Because the camp ground was closed for the winter, the hoses at each site were closed down to prevent freezing. Now what? Neither Chief nor I can survive on one cup of coffee daily and we were both looking forward to snuggling up in the bed with a nice, hot cup and watching a movie on the laptop.

No problem! My ever industrious husband pointed outside at the snow and said, “.. we got plenty of water!” and proceeded to scoop cups of snow into the pot on the stove.

He may be industrious but sometimes he doesn’t have much common sense because if he did, he would have cupped the snow off just the TOP and we wouldn’t have had to strain all the pebbles, grass and dirt that settled at the bottom of the coffee pot.

At least we did that BEFORE putting the grounds in the water!

And let me tell you.. that had to be THE best cup of coffee I had in a long time!

It had been a long day and eventful so even though we wanted to stay up and cuddle and watch a movie on the laptop, it wasn’t long before our eyes started to get heavy.

There was a lot that needed to be done the following morning before we started out for West Virginia.. he needed to put in the secondary battery and wanted to see if he could get the generator to work.

We had to leave the camp ground by noon and considering how much stuff he wanted to accomplish, staying up late and getting up late really wasn’t an option so we bedded down for the night.. snug and toasty.

And then the roof started to leak. Right next to where we were sleeping. By that time, all we could do was laugh and put a towel under it to muffle the “plops”!

To Be Continued…

 

Excuse Me, Mr. Snow? Yea.. Um.. The Novelty Wore Off, Ok?

Caution: Snow is Worse Then It Appears

Sorry I haven’t posted anything about the National Lampoon Road Trip trip we took last weekend but we had a LOT to recover from and had to jump right back into the regular swing of things like, right away…  I’m just beginning to catch my breath so I’ll be posting about all that really, really soon…

Sucks being on a “normal” sleep schedule!! I’m sleeping through my usual blogging time! LOL

And like..

Driving 4 hours through a snow storm to Central PA on Friday wasn’t enough?

Driving  2 hours through a snow storm towards Western PA on Saturday wasn’t enough?

Getting stuck in the middle of it and having to spend the night in a rest stop wasn’t enough?

Driving 3 hours through a snow storm through Pittsburgh and into West Virginia on Sunday wasn’t enough?

Turning right around and driving the 8 hours BACK to South Eastern PA via West Virginia and Maryland in a snow storm WASN’T enough??

We got dumped with 10″ of the white stuff early this morning…

I guess after the 72″ we got last year it’s not so bad but I’m just sick of the damn stuff!

Instead of closing, Spaz’s school opened 2 hours late but we kept him home.. neither of us felt like getting up and cleaning off the car and driving through the mess (can’t imagine why, can you?)

Which meant that ALL of us were home AT THE SAME TIME.. a luxury usually reserved for the weekends *cough cough*..

But it was all good..

I wasn’t stuck in some rest stop on Rt 80 .. wasn’t trying to drive with windows covered with salt and no wiper fluid.. didn’t have to worry about Chief driving behind me in a 1979 Dodge Fleetwood RV that has seen SO MANY better days soooo long ago.

It was good not to have to worry about anything but who was going to take the dogs out!!

 

Catching Up With The Crazies…!

.. so I’ve been gone a long time.

I mean.. a REALLY long time. And not for any reason. Well.. there was a reason but not a reason like, moving to the middle of Montana with no internet service.

I can blame it on my iPod Touch. I mean.. if you don’t have one, you may want to get one if you’d like to curl up in a ball and play endless hours of Tap Tap Revenge.

OR I can blame it on the fact that I had an opportunity to actually get paid to write. Like in money. Like the kind of money that you can actually spend :: well.. while it’s actually WORTH anything anyway :: and once that opportunity presented itself, I had no desire to write. Not even a check.. which, yknow, I’m not that fond of doing anyway. But yea.. I had an attack of self doubt which completely shut my brain down.

And then there’s that blasted family tree thing I’m doing.. which basically sapped up my brain cells.. time.. and desire to write. Sort of like replacing one addiction with another. Cuz, yknow.. my family’s hobby IS breeding and my over-achieving self had to do BOTH sides of my family at one time.

Honestly, I didn’t really think too much about it until Tosha @ THAT’S WHY left a comment on an old post asking if I was ok and it dawned on me that I miss you guys.. and I miss writing.. and I miss throwing all my shit out there for the world to see… read.. whatever.

So here I am.. sitting on my bed with the good ol’ laptop.. after having to clean up all the wrappers and crumbs from three boxes of cupcakes that the dogs plowed through while I was at work :: I know two little dogs that are going to have the major runs tonight :: bringing everything up to speed.

So the highlights:

VALENTINE’S DAY

We were still dealing with tons of snow and winter weather but on Valentine’s morning, Chief got up early.. walked.. like in putting one foot in front of the other.. roughly three miles THROUGH THE THIGH DEEP SNOW and bought me flowers.. a bag full of SweetTarts and a locket.

Definitely an AWWWWWW!!! moment.

INTERNERNATIONAL FOOD SHOW

On The Way To NYC Via The NJT

On Feb 28, the two morons :: that being me and Chief :: decided to take Manhattan and attend the International Food Show at the Javits Convention Center… an industry thing with a lot of vendors and products and samples.

Gotta love the samples!

It wasn’t so much a LAST minute decision because we had registered like, a month and a half before but because of the weather and because the wagon was inspected and registered :: still isn’t :: and the van was having transmission problems :: still is :: I wasn’t really that confident in getting there and back without incident.

‘Cause.. yknow.. whenever WE do ANYTHING, there’s “incidents”.

International Food Show

But armed with Chief’s confidence that he can fix anything that went wrong with the van, we made our way up the New Jersey Turnpike armed with coffee and a Tom Tom.

Did I tell you the story about the Tom Tom .. how I don’t like them.. don’t trust them.. and didn’t want one but got one for Christmas because Chief wanted one? Yea.. well.. let me tell you something about that fucking Tom Tom. First of all, you can’t help but argue with it when you actually do know where you’re going and it tells you to go in a different direction. But the worse.. is when you DON’T know where you’re going and the fucking thing tells you to make a left onto a FOUR LANE street with traffic going in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION from the way you’re facing.

Like it did in New York City.

Thankfully.. THANKFULLY .. when we turned the wrong way down the street, traffic was stopped at a red light so I was able to pull over IN FRONT OF AN NYC COP CAR.. :: thankfully unoccupied :: .. and turn the car around. We pulled into the first parking garage that we found and on wobbly knees, walked the six blocks to the Javits.

Yes.. that is a pig WITH it's head still on

I had never been to an industry food show before. Chief had been to this particular one before as a seller not a buyer. I can’t tell you how hard they suck your ass. They must give a class on it or something.

I’m not adventurous with food so I wasn’t doing a lot of tasting. He was.. which was good because the only thing I kept thing was “.. did you SEE how much the hot dog vendor was charging????” But we did come away with a few products that we wanted to start carrying in the shop so it served it’s purpose.

FOOD!!!

We had gotten there early and the good thing about that was by the time the place was filled to capacity, we had seen everything and were ready to chug it back home.

So we make our way back to the parking garage and contrary to everything I’ve heard, it really wasn’t too expensive. Notice I said “too” and not “that”! It was around 25 bucks and considering we almost got KILLED by the evil Tom Tom, I could deal with 25 bucks.

More food

Chief tells me he’ll drive back because I’m like FORGET DRIVING THROUGH THE LINCOLN TUNNEL AGAIN and while we’re driving through the tunnel, we lose the satellite connection to the Evil Tom Tom. I guess it didn’t like me cursing it out because when it finally connected again, it directed us to take an exit with was NOT the exit to the Turnpike.. even though I clearly SAW the exit for the Turnpike ahead, Chief was like NO! NO! The Tom Tom said to go THIS way.. which put us in the middle of someplace like Seacacus or something and on a highway with a 2 car red light every 100 feet. Which considering how the transmission REALLY started to act up, may have been a good thing.

But as he promised, he pulled over and did some McGuyver-ing and put us back on the road.

We finally found our way back to the Turnpike :: I had turned the Tom Tom off :: and after almost getting into two.. count them.. TWO car accidents, we pulled into one of the numerous rest stops on the pike and had a wonderful lunch of Burger King nuked by a Mexican who could only say “Whopper”.

Don’t ask.

PROTESTING HEALTH CARE

Chief had this bright idea to drive down to Washington DC on the Sunday that the Health Care bill was going to be voted on. That’s something we’re both passionate about and really, I’m not going to get into a debate with anyone who is for it on here. We will just agree to disagree and leave it at that.

The plan was to get up around 5am.. drive down to DC.. protest.. and then drive home.

That was the PLAN anyway.. we were SO committed to going down there that we didn’t get to bed until 3am :: no kids at home means long hours playing Call Of Duty :: and then the gorgeous day we woke up to mandated that we hit various flea markets.

We’re such bad protesters!!

WEED

Weed turned 21 on March 1st.

Honestly, I have to say that he seems to be coming around. Not only has he been coming to work when he’s suppose to but he’s actually doing work. His attitude has become a little more mature but I know he still does what he does.. he’s just less obvious about it.

For his birthday we got him a cell phone. He had one from when the Crack Whore settled her bogus lawsuit but of course, by the time the first payment came around she had blown threw the money and the service was turned off.

If I had known that he could have just re-activated his old one, I would have saved myself a lot of money and aggravation.

And of course, the aggravation has to do with….

BUBBA

Let me just say that I have not had an actual conversation with Bubba since the day of his birthday when I told him that he wasn’t getting the grossly expensive lap top computer he wanted because he didn’t do anything he promised to do.. that being committed to his school work.

Did I also post before that I finally got my dryer because Bubba complained about not having any clean clothes because he never put them in the hamper?

I’m not going to rehash everything that went on, but I will say that this kid needs to be knocked down a few pegs. He still isn’t doing a damn thing in school.. does not have ANY hygiene at all.. stays out all hours of the day / night / weekend .. and I would be doing the pigs of the world a great disservice by calling him one. He’s beyond that.

And I’m over it.

I’m over his lies.. his manipulations.. him calling me a bitch because I call him out on his lies and manipulations.. his use and abuse.. He’s just an ugly person inside and out.. an unhappy person.. someone who couldn’t give a shit about anything or anybody but himself.

I don’t surround myself with that kind of toxin as a rule.. and the fact that this kid lives under my roof doesn’t change that.

Things kind of came to a head about a month ago when Chief told him that he was grounded because he hasn’t done ONE IOTA of schoolwork. Not that Chief makes sure he does his work.. not that the Crack Whore makes sure he does his work either. But as Chief said, “.. he wasn’t going ANYWHERE” that weekend. I told Chief that he was going to have to be the one to tell him that because I was done with being the one that has to issue the punishment only to have it renigged by the Crack Whore.. or worse, Bubba just not paying any damn attention to anything I say.

So Chief assured me that he was going to tell him when he came home from work. In the meantime, Spaz was had made plans to spend the weekend at the Crack Whore’s but as he was waiting for her to pick him up, Bubba started saying that HE was going to stay over there too. Spaz reacted in pure Spaz fashion.. which was to, well, spaz. He go SO upset and started crying and saying that he wasn’t going to go and that all he wanted was to have a weekend away from Bubba.

I tried to stay out of it but things escalated to a point where I had to get involved and told Spaz that Bubba wasn’t going anywhere.. to just calm down.

Immediately Bubba started saying shit to Spaz and to me so I called Chief and told him what was going on. He told me he wanted to talk to him so I gave Bubba the phone. I don’t know what the conversation was but at one point, Bubba said something about me not letting him use the PS3 head phones :: a long story :: and I called him a “Little Fuck” to which he started whining to his father like a little bitch.

I get back on the phone with Chief and he tells me that I was right to do what I did. I told him that I didn’t give a fuck whether or not he thought I was “right” or not .. he wasn’t here and it isn’t fair to Spaz to be tormented by Bubba the way he is.

I hang up with Chief.

He calls me back about 15 minutes later and asks me if I can pick him up from the shop because it was pouring out. I told him I would then went back to getting ready to go out because I really just wanted to get out of the house.

A few minutes after we hang up for the second time, I hear Bubba leave the house. And I’m like, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

And when Chief calls me about a half hour later to tell me that he was closing the shop early and that I can pick him up at any time, I cut the call short because I was in the bathroom.. almost getting physically sick over this fucking kid.

I go down to the shop and I don’t know what made me say this in the way that I did but when I walked in I said, “… you know that Bubba left the house, right?”

He says, “.. oh yea. He went to stay at his mother’s.”

When I tell you that I have NEVER felt like a bigger asshole in my life. HE was the one who INSISTED that Bubba was NOT to leave the house for the weekend which made ME make an issue out of it earlier when he was tormenting Spaz and then he let him go to his mother’s?

Where’s your fucking balls, man?

So I got torqued beyond ever being torqued before.

And I couldn’t look at him.. be near him.. talk to him.. breath the same air as him.

So I stayed in the living room while he tanked out in the bedroom and remained there until the next day when I had had it SO up to here that if I had a box and some place to go I would have packed all my shit right then and there and left.

We had it out the next day.. big blow out.. and when he tried to blame it on the kids I told him all about himself and told him that it’s HIM. That he says one thing and does another and doesn’t give me a heads up. Like the cell phone.

Remember Weed’s old cell phone? The Crack Whore wanted it back so that she could have it reactivated for Bubba. Chief went on a looooooonnnngggg tirade about how Bubba doesn’t deserve one.. that he can’t have one until he brings his grades up.. blah blah blah. Not five minutes.. FIVE MINUTES after he told me that on the phone, the Crack Whore texted me and told me that she had just left the deli and that Chief said he didn’t have a problem with Bubba having a cell phone as long as he doesn’t have to pay the bill for it.

And I called him out on that. And called him out on a million other things that I’ve been holding down. When I tell you that that was the closest that we’ve come to breaking up.. then that’s the closest we’ve come to breaking up.

I told him that if he still wanted me in the picture then he better prepare himself for me not doing anything for Bubba. That I was going to treat Bubba the way that he treats me. No more driving him to school in the morning.. no more doing his clothes.. no more driving him here or there or to his friends. That I was going to email his teacher’s and inform them that from now on, they would have to contact him and the Crack Whore and when Bubba gets into the trouble he’s on the path to get into, don’t expect me to be sympathetic or supportive. Wasn’t going to happen.

So that’s the way things have been and to be honest, Bubba is rolling off my back by rain on a duck.

SPAZ

He’s still having his issues but nothing worse then normal 11 year old shit. He, at least, understands why I’m hard on him about school.. about being neat.. about brushing his teeth and taking showers. Knowing that I don’t want him turning out like Bubba is his big incentive. And as sick as it sounds, knowing how I feel about Bubba is giving him the cujones to stand up to him.

BUBBA: Dad doesn’t love you.
SPAZ: At least he doesn’t have to by me Comet to scrub my neck with

NOTE: Because Bubba doesn’t take regular showers, his neck and knuckles get BLACK. At one point, Chief told him to use Comet to scrub his neck with to take the dirt off.

I almost pissed myself laughing and was like You Go Spaz!!!

The only thing that I can’t really explain to him is why the Crack Whore will buy Bubba a laptop .. will buy him an iPod Touch.. will get him a cell phone when he does nothing to deserve it but when Spaz asked her to contribute to help pay for the two trips he’s going on with the church group ( one is 400 the other is 65), she started yelling and screaming at him that she isn’t made of money and why am I not paying for it.

So that’s basically what’s been going on.

Now that I got this post over with, I’ll get back to my old routine :: 2800+ words will do that to you! :: so buckle up, I’m sure it’s going to be a bumpy ride!