Posts Tagged ‘Selfishness’

Ok.

Bathroom visit? Check. Coffee refill? Double Check? Ready for this? NOT in the least.

And of course.. anything in my life that’s W.T.F. involves Weed.

Weed is now 22. Don’t know how much I caught you up on his antics but let’s just say he hasn’t changed. At all.

Back in July he caused a ruckus in front of MY family that got him kicked out of the house for good. He HAD been kicked out but for some reason had thought it was okay to stumble into the house at 2am and sleep off whatever had him wrecked in the first place.

He would either stay at the Crack Whore’s or the Crack House (both are the same in my opinion) and then in September he got arrested for shoplifting a lipstick for his skank ho girlfriend.

Thank landed him in the pokey for a month because no one who had 200.00 bucks would put it up for his bail.

He got out in October and did come over to the new house for a “family” (cough cough) dinner.

I didn’t want him here.. didn’t want Bubba here either.. but I’m not going to be the one blamed for Chief not seeing his sons. So dinner there was.. and dinner they ate.. and back to the Crack Whore’s house they went. The whole thing lasted about 3 hours.

Thank GOD for small favors.

At any rate..

A week before Thanksgiving Chief gets a phone call from Weed who tells him that he and his skank ho girlfriend have a “problem”.

Heh.. we all know what that “problem” is, don’t we?

Come on!!

Guess!!

Turns out the the skank ho girlfriend was ALSO in jail the same time Weed was. She got locked up the same time he did for the whole lipstick thing. OBVIOUSLY no one bailed her out either so OBVIOUSLY she’s not a good girl dabbling on the dark side. Turns out SHE is just as bad as HE is when it comes to popping pills, sticking needles in her arm and spending time in the pokey.

And now these two junkie low lives are breeding.

Nice.

Real Nice.

NOT being the biological parent.. and with my feet firmly planted in reality.. I IMMEDIATELY start thinking about the phone calls about the baby needing diapers.. needing formula.. needing a ride to the doctors.. etc. etc. etc. .. and I started getting pissed.

Chief.. who rides unicorns in clouds of cotton candy and farts glitter.. wasn’t down with the situation but a piece of him, I think, was a little gaga over the fact that there was going to be a baby around.

I say that because HE wasn’t understanding MY concerns. And they are concerns because even though I believe every baby is a blessing regardless of it’s misfortune of being conceived by junkies.. I know that I am the only one supporting this household right now. Chief hasn’t worked since forever and I’ve been working my ass off to not only get out of a financial hole but to get our lives back to normal.

And I am not about to backslide because the toxic twins decided to steal a lipstick instead of a condom.

Also, considering everything this kid put me through the last two years.. all the disrespect, name calling, theft of things I could never replace.. the anguish.. the attitude.. you name it.. you really think I’m all down for supporting something HE created?

I know that sounds mean.. I know that it isn’t the baby’s fault.. but I also know me and I also know how far back I’ve leaned .. how much I’ve let slide.. and as of RIGHT FRIGGIN’ NOW.. I’m bitter and resentful that Chief doesn’t have my back on this one.

End. Rant.

So fast forward to the beginning of December. Since no one is talking about anything that matters, I decide I’m going to stalk Facebook and see if I can find anything out.

We’re not “friends” .. but I am friends with someone he is friends with so I jump over to Weed’s wall. Nothing of interest. Oh, that’s right.. the Crack Whore didn’t pay the cable bill so the internet was cut. But then I see who he’s in a relationship with and let’s just say there’s a reason why I call her a skank ho.

This was early on a Thursday morning.. something like 3am. Her last post was something that I took as abortion guilt. Something about how murders deserve to be in jail and apologies for not allowing he/she to live long enough to decide whether it lived or died.

Listen, she’s a junkie. Do you really expect her to make sense?

When Chief gets up I tell him that I don’t think there’s a baby any more.

He… HE!!!.. tells me that the skank ho girlfriend od’d over the past weekend and that they took Weed in for questioning.

Um.

Wait.

EXCUSE ME?

You knew for FOUR days and you didn’t tell me WHY??

He said he found out from Spaz the previous Sunday when he picked him up from the Crack Whore’s and that he was soooo livid that he wanted to find Weed and beat the crap out of him.. and then he just wanted to put it out of his mind because he was so enflamed.

Good job on THAT one, Bucky.

I was beyond pissed. Not the first time that he hasn’t told me things that I think he should since we’re married and in a relationship and I support him and his kid’s simple asses.

But whatever.

At this point, I don’t know whether she’s dead or alive.. don’t know if Weeds’ in jail or not.. don’t know if she lost the baby because she od’d or od’d because she aborted the baby.

I let it go because they’re ALL pissing me off.

Fast forward two weeks and we have Chief’s twin brother Sarge and his wife over for dinner. I hear the three of them talking in the kitchen about Weed and I hear Chief say that Weed needs to live in a box for a while so he can get his shit together and be a productive member of society.

I stay firmly parked next to my fireplace. Let them talk. They’re all very good at talking ABOUT someone’s situation instead of talking TO someone about their situation. IF they talk at all, that is. Communication is NOT key with Chief or in his side of the family.

About an hour or so goes by and Sarge’s wife enters my personal space near the fireplace and asks me when the skank ho girlfriend is due. I tell her I didn’t think she still was and went into what I just went into above. She asked me what I was going to do about it.. and I looked at her like she ate too many candy canes off my Christmas tree.

I am doing NOTHING about it.. and went into the same thing I went into above.

She rambled something about getting stuff off Craigslist and if they want to be the knights in shining armor then more power to them. That’s how they roll.. come into a situation waving wads of cash.. offering this .. offering that.. all so they can say that THEY did something and Chief did not.

People: Now your significant other’s family before they become your significant other. Word.

So at this point.. two weeks before the Christmas dinner that his sons and the skank ho are attending, I have no clue whether or not there’s a baby.

I found out on Christmas.

When the Toxic Twins came over so freakin’ wrecked out of their minds.. and I’ve never felt so uncomfortable or so disrespected in my own home.

She’s running around the house .. jumping on my furniture.. saying how her baby is now exactly 11 weeks old and her name is whatever she said it’s name was going to be.

Weed couldn’t even verbalize:

ME: Where you working?
WEED: jdkagerj;f v irtdsf uaejrksdl  TRANSLATION: no.. but I’m trying
ME: So… you’re not working?
WEED: yifk gtreja gh;yi rfck vjitm vj TRANSLATION: i’m putting applications in
ME: So.. your not working.. have no money.. no place to live.. a baby on the way.. so how exactly were you able to get wrecked?

OR THIS CONVERSATION

WEED: sfgktkdf jto ih twy jtrfsd gab jdfkl hyt  TRANSLATION: when is your landlord going to clean out that spare room?
ME: None of your business because you’re not moving in here. Need me to say it slower?

OR THIS ONE AFTER HE SCRAPPED HIS PLATE IN TO THE DOGS’ WATER BOWL

WEED: siugjarf agt adiotrjfdkalfj adty   TRANSLATION: haha.. i’m as blind as  a bat
ME: No, you’re as high as a fucking kite.

Now, let me just add here that sometimes I have to be careful about my feelings. I don’t like these two so they could save a bag of puppies from drowning and I’d find fault with it. But since my  mother and Chief’s father were both a witness to this.. and saw the same things I saw and felt the same way I felt, I was justified in telling Chief after everyone was at their own houses that I did not want them back in my house anymore. Wasn’t happening. Wasn’t going to be disrespected or feel uncomfortable in the house that I’M paying for.

He got me. And to his credit, he had the good sense to be just as upset and pissed off as I was. For the moment anyway. Chief lets things go. I don’t. I’m Italian.

And then the straw that broke my camel’s back happened Wednesday.

Again, via Facebook, I found out that the Toxic Twins are planning to get married.

WEED: udf gafjdkgh rito afdjkg ja    TRANSLATION: it’s the honorable thing to do
SKANK HO:  fafidg  grh jthr gankdl khji tuera hd     TRANLSATION: i love my boos.

Chief had surprised me by coming up to work with lunch that day. As I sat in the car I asked him if he is ever in communication with his son OR his ex regarding the baby. He makes a face.. shakes his head and says ‘nope’.

So again.. I tell him what I saw on Facebook and he non-chalantly says “oh, yea.. Weed told me he proposed on Christmas day and I just blew it off”.

Nice. REAL Nice.

Once again.. I felt like I was kept out of the loop. Once again, I felt like we’re supposedly in a relationship where we’re suppose to be best friends and we’re suppose to support each other.. be shoulder to shoulder .. right?

OBVIOUSLY, I’m the only one who thought that.

Because APPARENTLY it’s a relationship where what’s mine is his and that’s just about fucking it.

So now here’s the thing.

If there’s one thing I know for sure is that I know how I am. It takes me a loooong time to turn my back but once it’s turned it stays that way. Once may feelings change.. they’re changed. Once I change my opinion of someone.. it’s changed.

And all the above happened.

So now I patiently wait until midnight where we tell each other our new year’s resolutions.. and I tell him that I don’t want to know about anything about anyone that doesn’t live under my roof.. don’t ask me for anything.. don’t tell me about anything.. don’t feed them food that I bought.. don’t invite them into a home that I pay for.. I don’t want to know or be a part of baby showers or wedding receptions or baptisms or births.

Done.. Over.. I’m Out..

 

One of my father’s favorite sayings was:

HOW MANY TIMES DOES A DOG HAVE TO BITE YOU BEFORE YOU STOP TRYING TO PET IT

I learn lessons the hard way.

I haven’t been posting because there’s been a lot of turmoil.. and drama.. and W! T! F!s .. and it was bad enough living it let alone blogging about it. I had to come to terms with a few things.. whether I would accept them.. or distance myself from them or have-n0-clue-which-turn-to-take because of them.

Make no mistake.. I am a fighter. But I also know not to waste strength on a losing battle. I don’t see it so much as giving up.. rather, putting my best efforts to where they are 1) wanted and 2) most beneficial to me.

I’ve wasted too much time.. too much effort.. suffered through too much heart ache to continue being miserable.

I’m generally NOT  a miserable person.. I generally make the best of thing and GENERALLY let crap go where it belongs but enough is enough.

I have some heavy decisions to make about my future.. I have decided on the important things, it’s just the logistics I have to figure out.

To those who have been following, I’m going to use this post to put the puzzle pieces together for you and fill you in on what’s been going on but I don’t think I’m going to continue doing that. For those that know my email address and want to be kept updated on the saga, feel free to write me..

So..

You all know that I put the computer on lock-down because Bubba refused to do what he was suppose to do regarding the whole cyber-school thing.

Aside from the reports that the cyber school generates.. I’ve been keeping my own log on Excel. God bless the day I fell in love with Excel!

I know exactly how much time Bubba has spent on school work .. which assignments are over due.. the length of time he’s spend on each assignment down to the second .. everything. At a glance. He might THINK he’s smart because he can get over on his parent’s, but with me? No. I just have my hands tied as to what to do about it.

Anyway..

So last Friday, I had to drive Chief up to his job to fill out some paper work or something. We left at around noon. Bubba was still sleeping because even though the computer shuts off at 11pm, he was still staying up to the early morning hours watching tv and playing video games.

We get a text message from him around 1:30pm asking for the password to the computer. I was driving and couldn’t text him back so I told Chief to tell him that he needs to do his school work first.

Now, the day before I told him that he didn’t have to do his mandatory four hours if he completed all the master tests that needed to be done. He jumped at the chance because THIS IDIOT didn’t know how many tests he actually had to complete.. and to complete them all would take WAY more then four hours.

So about 2 or 2.5 hours go by and he texts again for the password. Chief was going to give it to him but I was like Uh-Uh. No.. ask him how many tests he completed first. The response came back that he did 3.. which, you know, if I BELIEVED him would have sounded about right. I half expected him to say all of them.

I still told Chief not to give him the password.. that he needed to wait until we got home to verify his work. Chief texted him back and when Bubba didn’t text back, I thought that was weird. No begging? No pleading? Nope. Because the fucking idiot GAVE him the password.. not only did he give him the password, he also have him the ADMINISTRATOR’s password.

Honestly, if we didn’t have our seat belts on and I wasn’t on the highway, I would have beat Chief silly with a tire iron.

We finally got home a few hours later and Bubba was gone.

Of course he was. He knew what was coming.

I checked the cyber school logs and not only did he NOT do the tests.. he didn’t do ANYTHING.

Shoving the laptop screen into Chief’s face, I asked him how it felt to be lied to.. how did it feel to have a 16 year old sucker you.. repeatedly? Just how DID it feel knowing that your 16 year old son thought you were a pussy and treated you like his bitch?

I’ll tell you .. he didn’t like it at all when it was said out loud.

He went on ranting and raving about what he was going to do.. (right) What he was going to say to him (don’t hold your breath).. And how things were going to be (suuuure they are) ..

I told him that he was all big and bad venting to me but as soon as Bubba walked in the door, he was going to be a cream puff.

I actually didn’t think Bubba was going to come home that night… but he did.. well after Chief was asleep and he knew better then to try and get on the computer because HE knows ME .. and he knows that I was going to do everything short of sinking the damn think in concrete and since I was the only one up, he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask me for a goddamn password.

So Saturday morning comes.. rather, it was Saturday afternoon before Bubba rolled his lump of flesh out of bed. And as expected, Chief did say something to him about being lied to.. but, as expected, followed it by asking if he wanted him to make him something for breakfast.

That’s his MO .. act like a parent then feel guilty afterwards.

Bubba complained that it was Saturday.. Chief said that he didn’t care.. Bubba said that HE did.. (I would have popped that son of a bitch in the  mouth right then.. but that’s me) .. Chief pulled out the list of all the tests he had to complete.. Bubba complained that there was 8 hours worth of work.. Chief said to only do 4 hours.

Both of them needed to be popped in the mouth then, by my estimates.

I was in the bedroom working on a project. Chief comes in and starts watching a movie. I tell him that he needs to be out there staring over Bubba’s shoulder. Chief is confident that Bubba will do the work.

SSSS.  UUUU.  CCCC.  KKK. EEE.  RRR

Not a half hour goes by and I smell the nasty ass cologne that the Crack Whore gave Bubba for Christmas. I thought I heard the front door but the dogs hadn’t stirred so I wasn’t sure.  I get up to look and sure enough, Bubba high tailed it out of the house. Mind you, this is a BIG kid.. we have hard wood floor  that vibrate whenever he moves around so I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did his best to sneak out. May have even used the back door because it’s furthest from where we were and would explain why the dogs didn’t bark when the front door was opened.

I went back in the bedroom and casually asked Chief if he knew Bubba had skipped.

“I do now.” he answered, and then went back to watching his movie.

Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously. Are you FUCKING kidding me?

He got all cocky with me and said, “.. what am I suppose to do? Call the cops?”

No.. you simple assed idot.. YOU CALL HIS CELL PHONE AND TELL HIM TO GET HIS ASS HOME RIGHT NOW

Nope. I was told he wouldn’t answer his cell phone anyway and why get more aggravated?

Well.. simple ass.. because YOU aren’t even aggravated! I AM! You see what’s wrong with this picture?

Bubba didn’t come home Saturday night. He texted my cell at 11pm and said “.. sleeping out”.

My response?

You can run away from your responsibilities but that doesn’t make them go away. Leaving only made things worse.

No return text.

Sunday night he texted again saying that he was sleeping out. The school’s had off on Monday so I didn’t count on him coming home Sunday.

He did come home on Monday. At 10:30pm.

Chief was already asleep and I had absolutely NOTHING to say to him. I thought about it long and hard over that weekend and realized that this isn’t anything CLOSE to being a family. I know other step parents are able to discipline their spouses’ kids.. step up to the plate and be a parent.. but those have supportive spouses. I don’t.. and if Bubba’s father isn’t going to be a father.. then I refuse to be the one who lays down the hammer all the time.. when I did, I only had it thrown back in my face.

But there’s more.. because there’s always more.

Tuesday rolls around and it’s another late afternoon rise for Bubba. I had gone out for most of the afternoon and while I wasn’t planning on returning to far into the night, circumstances dictated that I returned to the house around 4 or 5. I passed Bubba on the computer to get to my bedroom and while I was getting changed, he knocked on the door and told his father that the Crack Whore was picking him up so that she can help him study for his driver’s test.

Chief responded, “.. if THAT’s what your going to do”

Bubba says it is and leaves.

He hasn’t been back to the house since.

Around 11:00 that night, I said to Chief, “.. guess Bubba isn’t coming home” and he got all defensive saying, “.. he’s at HIS MOTHER’S.” .. like that’s any better then staying at his friend’s? Because she has a computer and you know he’s going to be up all night being the Top Cop of Pretend Town .. exactly what he wasn’t allowed to do here.

Wednesday morning I went out and when I returned home, the Crack Whore had sent a text saying that she had had a long talk with Bubba and that he wasn’t going to go out driving unless he does his work and to have his social security card and birth certificate for when he goes for his permit.

Chief then tells me that he sent her a message via Yahoo and told her about Bubba and his school. Whatever.  I’m the one who knows where they’re at and guess what? You’re going to see just how spiteful a bitch I can be. Because like I said before, bigger and better have tried to roll me.. I’m not about to let a 16 year old do it.

Thursday comes and goes with Bubba doing about an hour’s worth of work.

Friday comes and goes with Bubba doing no work at all.

Saturday .. Sunday.. nothing.

Today? 8 minutes.

The Crack Whore sends a text message. I didn’t look at it, just handed the phone to Chief and told him the message was for him. She must have asked him to call her because he dialed and asked “what’s up” when she answered.

She said that Bubba wanted to go back to regular school .. that he’s been asking to go back to regular school and Chief won’t send him (lie) .. Chief told her that he did inquire but that if he went back, he was going to fail the year because he’s too far behind .. he told her that he wasn’t trying to be a dick towards him… he’s just worried about his future (when exactly did we move to dilusion-ville?) .. he told her she had to be a bitch to him about his work because the only reason why he’s there is because he can’t do what he wants to do here.

She said fine and that she was going to swing by after she went where she had to go and pick up some of Bubba’s clothes.

This was at 8pm? It’s now 4am and the clothes are still on the dining room table because she never showed.

Considering the vast amount of chemicals she ingests, do you really think she’s going to get Bubba to do his work? Do you really believe that Bubba doesn’t know that she goes into a drug induced coma leaving him free to do what he wants to do?

Are you asking the same questions I am?

Don’t bother.. you’re wasting your time and I am the expert in wasting time asking logical questions of the illogical. The answer is that she will do whatever she can do to disrupt anything in the kid’s life. I’m also expecting custody papers in the mail because you KNOW she’s not going to have him living with her and NOT try to get some monetary gain .. especially since Chief is working now. The last time Bubba stayed there, she filed for custody the next day.. so you know, I’m not going to be surprised when they arrive.

As far as Chief goes? I really don’t know why he wanted custody to begin with ..

Me? Well, I finally stopped trying to pet the dog.

Even thought I know he doesn’t realize it, our relationship has changed. I don’t have the hopes.. the dreams of the future.. the silly giddiness I used to have when being around him. Anymore I just feel regret and contempt. I don’t look at him the say way .. I’ve lost respect for him as a man and a father..

It’s time for me to go..

 

… so after moving over the posts from my old blog to this one :: click on the Old Blog tag in the cloud on the left :: I came upon this little gem from Nov 11, 2008.

And it made me sad.

There’s a lot of buzzing going around in my head that I’m trying to figure out.. reading my old stuff made me start thinking that something has to change.

For good.. or for bad.. it has to change.

You can read it HERE if you’re bored.. or can’t sleep..

Even though I write three other blogs, I’ve kept this one alive for a reason..

1. There’s some pretty funny shit on here

and

2. Sometimes I need to get things off my chest without having everybody know who I’m talking about.

If it was just me and my screwed up antics, that would be one thing. I freely wave my “fucked up” flag with boldness.. but it isn’t just about me, it’s about people in my life with their own family and friends.. and while I would gladly post pictures, names, addresses, phone numbers and license plate numbers of SOME people, I can’t.

And so here I am…

And these are the deeds…

First, to catch up on some stuff, we’re moving.  Loooooooooooooong story here that I’m not going to bore you with but by January 31st, we’re going to be planting out asses 8 hours away from where we’re at now.

That’s good and bad. Bad because I’m going to be so far away from my family and friends and well, my shelters from the storm. Good because we’re going to be that far from the Crack Whore.

She is whom the picture on this post is referring to.

So where to begin with that? Well, there’s the whole child support thing. 43.00 a week for two kids. She didn’t pay July, August or September so the courts sent out a summons to appear. She paid it two days before the court day and told Chief not to show. He went anyway because that’s what you’re suppose to do. She didn’t show. Didn’t look good for her but because she had paid it, oh well.

The she skipped October, November and December. Another summons. Another court date on Dec 8th. Another call telling him not to show. Only this time she didn’t pay anything and on the day of court, he showed up.. she didn’t. The courts called her.. she asked for an extension. They said no way.. she would have until the end of the following day to pay it or else they would issue a bench warrant.. she still hasn’t paid and now there’s another hearing on Feb 28th.

Because her reality is clouded and because she refuses to accept responsibility for her actions, she went around telling the boys that their “… asshole father is trying to put her in jail for missing ONE month”. That’s a direct quote there.

Just to make sure we are absolutely clear here:

HE didn’t call anyone… the courts automatically schedule a date after three months of non-payment

SHE missed more then ONE month.

Now.. with all that in mind.. two things happened the week of their court date that made me slam the door on anything and everything that even remotely has to do with her.. regardless of whether her kids are involved or not.

The weekend before the court date, we were upstate trying to secure a place to move to. She knew where we were and what we were doing so at the last minute, she tells Spaz that he can’t stay at her place the weekend because she had plans. It was too late for us to cancel what we were doing, so we told Bubba that he was going to have to babysit Spaz.

Not the best situation but we hung a baby sitting fee in front of Bubba and that kid will do anything for cash. The house was stocked with food.. Spaz would probably sit in front of the PS3 until he fell asleep and Bubba would do the same in front of the computer so we really weren’t that worried.

We got a text message from her at 6pm slamming Chief about leaving Spaz home by himself.. how he’s just a little boy.. how it was illegal and she was going to call the police.

I’m not going to go into the whole back and forth thing. I’m just going to say that all attempts to contact Bubba on his cell phone went unanswered… all attempts to get the Crack Whore on the phone went unanswered.. and here we are 4 hours away in a snow storm wondering what the fuck was going on at home. Did Bubba go out and leave Spaz alone? Why wasn’t he answering his cell phone? Why wasn’t SHE answering HER cell phone if she was so worried.. did she pick up Spaz? Was he still home??

The only response we got from her after leaving numerous voice mails and text messages was “… u no ur wrong. leave me be”

That’s a direct quote there.

You know you’re wrong.. leave me be.

So not knowing ANYTHING and not being able to FIND anything out, we drove the 4 hours back, through a snow storm and lost the money we had already put out that we couldn’t afford to lose.

We were NOT happy campers by the time we got home and both kids got yelled at. By me. Because make no mistake about it, they were at fault to.. but not as much as she was. She is supposedly the adult and she knew exactly what she was doing when she did it. If she was really THAT concerned, then why not call? Why not alter your plans?

The truth of the matter is that she had no plans. Spaz was bored because Bubba wouldn’t let him on the computer and he called her to go over to her house. She couldn’t/didn’t want to pick him up.. he didn’t want to walk.. and his attempt at getting what he wanted was to tell her he was by himself.

So. Did this man of mine get in touch with her and ream her for her part in this? No.

Fast forward two days. It’s a Monday night (3 days before court) .. Spaz has homework that he doesn’t want to do. He says he wants to go to the youth group that he hasn’t been to in 5 weeks. When I bring up that he hasn’t been there for 5 weeks, he gets an attitude with me and says something sarcastic about him not knowing that he wasn’t allowed to go to church anymore.

Still reeling from the weekend, I tell him that because of his attitude, I’m not taking him to church. He can call the Crack Whore for all I care. He does and she agrees to take him. Now.. you think that she would pick him up, right?

His group ends at 9. At 9:20, I get a call from him that he needs a ride home. Mind you, it’s freezing out and it’s late. Chief gets up, gets dressed and head out. Within 3 minutes of his leaving (I know this because I was making microwave popcorn at the time).. my cell phone rings and it comes up with the Crack Whore’s number. I answer and it’s Spaz. He asks if his father had already left.. I said he did.. he said that the Crack Whore picked him up. There’s no way to get in touch with Chief so I tell him that they’re going to have to turn around. They were no more then three blocks away. IF that.


Maybe it’ll be easier for you to relate from the picture on the right.

My house is Point A.

The Church is Point B.

Where Spaz was when he called me saying that the Crack Whore has picked him up is the red X.

Not far at all.

So I hang up and within the next five minutes, Spaz comes walking in the door.

I asked him where his father was.

He said that she wouldn’t turn the car around.

Um.

EXCUSE ME?

Knowing that there was no way to get in touch with Chief because he didn’t have the cell phone on him, SHE WOULDN’T TURN AROUND and go back to the church.

Is it me, or was that the ultimate “fuck you”?

So now here’s this guy.. not finding the kid who had JUST CALLED saying that he needed to get picked up not where he was suppose to be.. at night.. in freezing temperatures.. in an empty parking lot.. freaking out because he can’t find his kid.

Why did you call, Spaz? When she showed up, why didn’t you just wait, SPAZ????? I’m asking him these questions while I’m putting on my coat. There was nothing else to do but walk to the church hoping to see Chief somewhere between here and there to tell him that Spaz was home.

And believe me.. I was NOT quiet about having to do it and with Bubba and Spaz sitting there wide eyed I told them ALL about their vaginal incubator. I can’t even stomach calling her their “mother” because “mother’s” don’t do shit like this. Mother’s don’t say things to their kids that shouldn’t be said (the doozy of all examples coming up in a sec)..

Cousin Bird, who lives right near the church wasn’t answering her phone. I had hoped that she could drive over there. Bubba asked me if I wanted him to call the Crack Whore. I told him that as sure as I was standing there, I would drop her on her simple ass. He volunteered to walk with me but I didn’t want to be around anyone that shared her DNA.

I got half way to the church when Bubba called telling me that his father had come home. He didn’t have to say anything, because I heard him screaming at the top of his lungs at Spaz.

I hoofed it home to find Spaz crying in his bedroom and Chief in our bedroom. I tell him that what she did was the ultimate in “fuck you’s”. He agreed. But did he yell at HER as bad as he yelled at Spaz? Nope. Never even confronted her.

That was when it all ended for me. HE might allow her to pull HIS puppet strings but she wasn’t pulling mine anymore. I could give a rat’s ass about her or anything having to do with her. I blocked her phone on my cell and blocked her email address.

Oh.. but it gets better.

When we made the decision to move to another state, Chief’s father had come over and we were discussing it with him while Bubba was on the phone with the Crack Whore. That wasn’t on purpose. We were already talking when she called and I guess she asked who was over and what we were talking about and Bubba told her. When she found out where we were moving and how far it was, she flipped out.

This is what I heard Bubba saying:

“.. he has full custody”

“.. that’s going to piss him off”

“.. that’s a mortar shell”

When he hung up with her, he tells us that she said that he wasn’t going to take Spaz. That Spaz wasn’t his son.

You read that right. SHE said to BUBBA that SPAZ was NOT Chief’s SON.

She said she was going to go to court and have a DNA test done to prove it.

Chief’s response was that he didn’t care.. Spaz was his son. He raised him. He was his. Then he took the dogs outside because I don’t think he wanted Bubba to witness any other kind of emotion from him then confidence.

Bubba wanted to talk to me about it. All I said was “.. oh, that’s real nice” but then explained to him that if she did go to court and Spaz wasn’t his, then he had every right to sue her for 12 years of support. And she would have Spaz.. what was she going to do, try to remember every guy she fucked behind a dumpster and sue them for child support? Because SHE was going to look SO GOOD in front of a judge… right?

Bubba said she had the mentality of a 5 year old.. I told him I had the intelligence of a 45 year old. Who did he think would win?

And did Chief ever say anything to her? Anything at ALL about saying that shit to their 15 year old son? Nope.

Because he had the opportunity to… had it when she called him asking when we were moving and if we were taking Weed with us because SHE was moving and she wasn’t taking Weed. Nope.

And speaking of Weed.. who got picked up for a failure to appear warrant that they both blamed on us for not paying his fines. Um.. ok.. because how exactly does a failure to appear warrant have anything to do with fines?

And speaking of Weed.. who called up earlier to say that she had stolen the money he got for Christmas so she could get fucked up on pills so he broke her flat screen tv.. and then she started sending messages from her pimp’s boyfriend’s phone saying that she threw all his clothes out on the street and called the police because he broke her tv.

Because you’re going to call the police even though your fucked up on pills with the money you stole from your son. I told Weed, who was just as fucked up on something, that he should call the police on her for theft.. since, you know, she has a felony burglary rap already.

Chief told him he had no right to bust her tv.

I wanted to bust HIM in his bald head.

Puppet strings. See what I’m saying?

Weed wound up leaving the house after he had slept off whatever he was on.. Not sure where he went.. he didn’t even say anything when he left the house. I’m sure it was to get trashed again. We’re his clothes outside? Who knows? Did she call the cops? Who knows.

Chief said to me that he felt horrible thinking it, but he thought it would be a burden lifted if Weed and the Crack Whore got into one of their fights and he accidentally killed her. She’d be dead and he’d being doing life in prison and we’d be 8 hours away. Bold talk but did he mean it? Fuck no.

Because a puppet can’t move without a puppet master.

My plan.. not that anyone has ever asked me but I’ll share anyway.. is to move, get him and the boys settled.. make sure he can afford it and then leave. Come back to my family, my friends and my sanity.