… Excuse Me While I Push A Railroad Spike Through My Eye

<– See this?

That’s me.

Well, the PICTURE isn’t me but the sentiment is the same.

Ok.. so first things first.

The baby is still in the hospital. He’s doing well.. gaining weight and filling out nicely. I’ll tell you, his ASS is healthy!! Boy of boy can that kid fill a diaper!!

I actually haven’t seen him since last Wednesday … almost a week ago.. because running off of 2 hour sleep, toast and coffee finally caught up with me and I picked up some kind of nasty something from the hospital that kicked my ass for more then a few days.

Honestly, I needed the break to catch up on the current season of Hell’s Kitchen.

Which, BTW, even I know how to cook a freakin’ scallop!! Come on, people!! :: smh ::

But I digress..

15 days old

Chief’s been going up to the hospital and even though there is no way in hell a camera in his hand is EVER a good idea, he was able to capture this little gem.

He’s a lot more alert and even though he still can’t be disturbed between his feedings, he’ll stare intently at who ever is holding him or feeding him.

Ok..

So that’s the update.

Now..

You KNOW :: or you should by now if you read me regularly :: that there’s a reason why I’m posting this here instead of on the baby’s blog.

So this past Friday night, Chief and I went to see my godson and his girlfriend. It’s usually an every two week visit because they just moved into their own place together and I like to keep tabs on him. Plus, how cool are THEY that they want to spend their Friday nights with the old folks????

This particular Friday it was out turn to go over there place and they were awesome to have bought the baby a bunch of stuff. My godson’s girlfriend is super duper excited about the baby and a fun time was had by all.

Until the ride home.

It’s about 9pm and the phone rings. It’s Weed from prison. On a free call. Which means one thing. They released him and he needed a ride home.

You want to talk about acid reflux shooting up your throat and burning a hole through your voice box?

I’m not going to go verbatim with the convos because this is going to be a long enough post as it is… but basically, Chief told him we were in another state and couldn’t pick him and to call the Crack Whore.  And then the texting started coming fast and furious and the silence.

The silence.

The silence is the worse thing of all because I know what I’M thinking… mainly.. you better not fucking tell him.. or her.. to drop him off on my doorstep.

I can only surmise.. because of the silence.. that HE’s thinking how the hell am I going to tell Leese that he’s going to be dropped off on our doorstep?

So we drive for like, another 20 minutes or so, and he’s not saying anything and I’m not saying anything. I’m not sure what his exact words were when he finally DID say something.. but it was something to the effect of “… she hasn’t texted me back so I’m guessing she’s going to pick him up”

To which, I replied “… or do you mean she’s going to pick him up and take him to our house?”

He said he didn’t say that to which I said that I didn’t know what he was saying because he wasn’t saying anything to which he responded that his mind was all spinning at a mile a minute.

Whatever.

He went on to read the text messages between them ending with the one he sent that said he didn’t care where she took him but he can’t come to our house.

Appreciated the support there but as I told him, she does what she wants to do regardless of what anyone tells her because she gets to dump her trash on anyone’s doorstep because thinks that people who work hard for what they have should have to handle whatever shit she throws at them because after all.. she doesn’t work.. she’s basically homeless.. she doesn’t have any money.. blah blah blah fucking blah.

Anyway.. I had promised Chief’s cousin Bird that I would go with her to the hospital to see her father who had had a second major surgery in 2 weeks. She had gotten a call that he was out of recovery so she had asked if I would drive out with her. So I called her before we got home and she literally pulled up my drive way behind me. I tell Chief that I’d be back soon and away me and Bird went.

It wasn’t a long visit.. I mean, by the time we got to the hospital it was almost 11pm, but we stayed a little.. spoke with the doctor.. got the tv and phone situated and that was that.

I expected Weed to be at the house when I got home but he wasn’t. I also know how long it takes to actually be released and figured it was still a possibility that he could.

Chief was sleeping and he had the phone charging in the kitchen. I checked the text messages and there was an unanswered one from the Crack Whore asking if Weed can stay at our home for just 1 night.

I texted “NO” and went to bed.

He never did show up but Saturday morning he texted and asked what time he should come over to sign the custody papers.

FUCK.

I texted back and told him that he could come over anytime but I was low on gas and wasn’t going to pick him up. He said he’d walk over. I found out later that he had stayed over a “friend” of his’ house and so the walk was probably about 4 miles. In 98 degree heat.

Serves him right.

He asked about the baby.. was impressed with the nursery.. and the bottom line was he got lectured and talked to and lectured and talked to and lectured and talked to the whole time he was sitting on my couch.

He said all the things junkies say when confronted with their junkie-ness… how he was going to stop.. get a job.. get a place.. blah blah blah blah fucking blah. But, you know, the proof is in the pudding. And when he said that he didn’t have anything because all his clothes had been tossed by the guy he used to live with I told him that it was better to have lost nothing at 23 then to lose everything at 30.

Luckily, the guy who had given him a job before he got arrested offered to take him on again and I so I told him that he had more going for him that most people who got out of jail.

Fast forward and Chief took him to go see the baby. I couldn’t go because I was sick but I thought it was something that I didn’t need to be a part of.

A few hours passed and Chief came home.. he had dropped Weed off back in the old neighborhood where all his junkie friends spend their nights crawling under park benches getting wasted. Nice.

When asked, Chief said that Weed cried when he saw the baby and got embarrassed when the nurse said, “.. oh! you’re out of jail!”. Chief told him that everyone knew what the deal was it was what it was. I asked him if he was optimistic or pessimistic after the visit. Like OH! I have a SON! I NEED TO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER! or oh i have a son i need to get my shit together.

Chief said he was optimistic so I was like, ok.. good first step.

Sunday he walked over again early in the morning.

Sundays are usually family dinner day with my father in law.. brother in law and his wife. This Sunday Bubba showed up.

I kept my eye on Weed and Bubba because I know that Bubba is following into the drugs and alcohol foot steps of his older brother. I didn’t think he was stupid enough to bring anything to the house but I figured if they were together whispering in a corner it wouldn’t be a good thing.

Chief wind up taking Bubba along to the hospital with him and Weed. Again, I stayed home.

Chief and I drove them both back to where they wanted to go and again, I wasn’t excited about the fact that Weed wanted to get dropped off in a parking lot outside the old town we used to live in. But still.. I’m trying to be positive.

Monday comes and Weed doesn’t come over to the house. He had called earlier and told his father that he had gone to see his parole officer and then was going to the drug place to sign up for his court mandated outpatient rehab. He said he wasn’t going to come over because he didn’t feel like walking.

Nice. And your…… son?

Okay.. so maybe because he had to walk to probation (maybe) and then had to walk to rehab (maybe) he was too tired to walk to the house.

Maybe.

Personally, I would walk 100 miles if my kid was in a hospital but you know.. I’m not a junkie.

So now it’s Tuesday.

Spaz turned 14 and both his brother’s said that they would be over to help him celebrate. I wasn’t thrilled about it but it was Spaz’s birthday not mine so I was going to suck it up.

I got home from work at at 630pm and when I walked into the house, Chief was in the kitchen.. Spaz was on the couch playing a video game. And that was it. No one else.

Spaz asked if we could go to a Chinese Buffet for dinner and since Chief had to pick up a motor for the pool filter near the buffet, we decided to go. I was waiting for a moment when I could talk to Chief and that came while we were waiting in line to be seated and Spaz went off to the koi pond.

I asked Chief if he had heard from his sons. He said Bubba called Spaz earlier to wish him Happy Birthday and that Chief called and made up some excuse about not coming over. First he said he had to go to his probation officer… to which Chief said that Weed said he had gone yesterday. And then… and then came the “um.. um.. um”‘s and that he meant the rehab place. To which Chief said that Weed said he went there yesterday too.

Weed didn’t have another excuse and Chief got pissed and hung up on him.

I got just as pissed hearing this. Not that I thought anything would change.. but I thought things would change. And now it’s painfully obvious that it hasn’t because what else would he being doing hanging around his old friends in the old town?

And just in case you think I’m exaggerating .. not that I think you are.. about how much of junkie this kid is here is a picture of father and son.

Does it make you want to throw up, too?

Mind you, the baby is tiny… just barely 6 lbs and he looks huge being held by a bag of skin and bones, doesn’t he?

So now, my cautiously optimistic attitude had turned into full blow CAUTION!

Thankfully, that court papers are filled out and will be filed on Thursday morning asking the court for full custody of the baby because both his parents are junkies with no permanent home, no jobs and no way to support either themselves or a baby.

Fingers crossed that this goes through without a hitch because I have a college fund I need to start saving for.

2011’s W.T.F!!

Ok.

Bathroom visit? Check. Coffee refill? Double Check? Ready for this? NOT in the least.

And of course.. anything in my life that’s W.T.F. involves Weed.

Weed is now 22. Don’t know how much I caught you up on his antics but let’s just say he hasn’t changed. At all.

Back in July he caused a ruckus in front of MY family that got him kicked out of the house for good. He HAD been kicked out but for some reason had thought it was okay to stumble into the house at 2am and sleep off whatever had him wrecked in the first place.

He would either stay at the Crack Whore’s or the Crack House (both are the same in my opinion) and then in September he got arrested for shoplifting a lipstick for his skank ho girlfriend.

Thank landed him in the pokey for a month because no one who had 200.00 bucks would put it up for his bail.

He got out in October and did come over to the new house for a “family” (cough cough) dinner.

I didn’t want him here.. didn’t want Bubba here either.. but I’m not going to be the one blamed for Chief not seeing his sons. So dinner there was.. and dinner they ate.. and back to the Crack Whore’s house they went. The whole thing lasted about 3 hours.

Thank GOD for small favors.

At any rate..

A week before Thanksgiving Chief gets a phone call from Weed who tells him that he and his skank ho girlfriend have a “problem”.

Heh.. we all know what that “problem” is, don’t we?

Come on!!

Guess!!

Turns out the the skank ho girlfriend was ALSO in jail the same time Weed was. She got locked up the same time he did for the whole lipstick thing. OBVIOUSLY no one bailed her out either so OBVIOUSLY she’s not a good girl dabbling on the dark side. Turns out SHE is just as bad as HE is when it comes to popping pills, sticking needles in her arm and spending time in the pokey.

And now these two junkie low lives are breeding.

Nice.

Real Nice.

NOT being the biological parent.. and with my feet firmly planted in reality.. I IMMEDIATELY start thinking about the phone calls about the baby needing diapers.. needing formula.. needing a ride to the doctors.. etc. etc. etc. .. and I started getting pissed.

Chief.. who rides unicorns in clouds of cotton candy and farts glitter.. wasn’t down with the situation but a piece of him, I think, was a little gaga over the fact that there was going to be a baby around.

I say that because HE wasn’t understanding MY concerns. And they are concerns because even though I believe every baby is a blessing regardless of it’s misfortune of being conceived by junkies.. I know that I am the only one supporting this household right now. Chief hasn’t worked since forever and I’ve been working my ass off to not only get out of a financial hole but to get our lives back to normal.

And I am not about to backslide because the toxic twins decided to steal a lipstick instead of a condom.

Also, considering everything this kid put me through the last two years.. all the disrespect, name calling, theft of things I could never replace.. the anguish.. the attitude.. you name it.. you really think I’m all down for supporting something HE created?

I know that sounds mean.. I know that it isn’t the baby’s fault.. but I also know me and I also know how far back I’ve leaned .. how much I’ve let slide.. and as of RIGHT FRIGGIN’ NOW.. I’m bitter and resentful that Chief doesn’t have my back on this one.

End. Rant.

So fast forward to the beginning of December. Since no one is talking about anything that matters, I decide I’m going to stalk Facebook and see if I can find anything out.

We’re not “friends” .. but I am friends with someone he is friends with so I jump over to Weed’s wall. Nothing of interest. Oh, that’s right.. the Crack Whore didn’t pay the cable bill so the internet was cut. But then I see who he’s in a relationship with and let’s just say there’s a reason why I call her a skank ho.

This was early on a Thursday morning.. something like 3am. Her last post was something that I took as abortion guilt. Something about how murders deserve to be in jail and apologies for not allowing he/she to live long enough to decide whether it lived or died.

Listen, she’s a junkie. Do you really expect her to make sense?

When Chief gets up I tell him that I don’t think there’s a baby any more.

He… HE!!!.. tells me that the skank ho girlfriend od’d over the past weekend and that they took Weed in for questioning.

Um.

Wait.

EXCUSE ME?

You knew for FOUR days and you didn’t tell me WHY??

He said he found out from Spaz the previous Sunday when he picked him up from the Crack Whore’s and that he was soooo livid that he wanted to find Weed and beat the crap out of him.. and then he just wanted to put it out of his mind because he was so enflamed.

Good job on THAT one, Bucky.

I was beyond pissed. Not the first time that he hasn’t told me things that I think he should since we’re married and in a relationship and I support him and his kid’s simple asses.

But whatever.

At this point, I don’t know whether she’s dead or alive.. don’t know if Weeds’ in jail or not.. don’t know if she lost the baby because she od’d or od’d because she aborted the baby.

I let it go because they’re ALL pissing me off.

Fast forward two weeks and we have Chief’s twin brother Sarge and his wife over for dinner. I hear the three of them talking in the kitchen about Weed and I hear Chief say that Weed needs to live in a box for a while so he can get his shit together and be a productive member of society.

I stay firmly parked next to my fireplace. Let them talk. They’re all very good at talking ABOUT someone’s situation instead of talking TO someone about their situation. IF they talk at all, that is. Communication is NOT key with Chief or in his side of the family.

About an hour or so goes by and Sarge’s wife enters my personal space near the fireplace and asks me when the skank ho girlfriend is due. I tell her I didn’t think she still was and went into what I just went into above. She asked me what I was going to do about it.. and I looked at her like she ate too many candy canes off my Christmas tree.

I am doing NOTHING about it.. and went into the same thing I went into above.

She rambled something about getting stuff off Craigslist and if they want to be the knights in shining armor then more power to them. That’s how they roll.. come into a situation waving wads of cash.. offering this .. offering that.. all so they can say that THEY did something and Chief did not.

People: Now your significant other’s family before they become your significant other. Word.

So at this point.. two weeks before the Christmas dinner that his sons and the skank ho are attending, I have no clue whether or not there’s a baby.

I found out on Christmas.

When the Toxic Twins came over so freakin’ wrecked out of their minds.. and I’ve never felt so uncomfortable or so disrespected in my own home.

She’s running around the house .. jumping on my furniture.. saying how her baby is now exactly 11 weeks old and her name is whatever she said it’s name was going to be.

Weed couldn’t even verbalize:

ME: Where you working?
WEED: jdkagerj;f v irtdsf uaejrksdl  TRANSLATION: no.. but I’m trying
ME: So… you’re not working?
WEED: yifk gtreja gh;yi rfck vjitm vj TRANSLATION: i’m putting applications in
ME: So.. your not working.. have no money.. no place to live.. a baby on the way.. so how exactly were you able to get wrecked?

OR THIS CONVERSATION

WEED: sfgktkdf jto ih twy jtrfsd gab jdfkl hyt  TRANSLATION: when is your landlord going to clean out that spare room?
ME: None of your business because you’re not moving in here. Need me to say it slower?

OR THIS ONE AFTER HE SCRAPPED HIS PLATE IN TO THE DOGS’ WATER BOWL

WEED: siugjarf agt adiotrjfdkalfj adty   TRANSLATION: haha.. i’m as blind as  a bat
ME: No, you’re as high as a fucking kite.

Now, let me just add here that sometimes I have to be careful about my feelings. I don’t like these two so they could save a bag of puppies from drowning and I’d find fault with it. But since my  mother and Chief’s father were both a witness to this.. and saw the same things I saw and felt the same way I felt, I was justified in telling Chief after everyone was at their own houses that I did not want them back in my house anymore. Wasn’t happening. Wasn’t going to be disrespected or feel uncomfortable in the house that I’M paying for.

He got me. And to his credit, he had the good sense to be just as upset and pissed off as I was. For the moment anyway. Chief lets things go. I don’t. I’m Italian.

And then the straw that broke my camel’s back happened Wednesday.

Again, via Facebook, I found out that the Toxic Twins are planning to get married.

WEED: udf gafjdkgh rito afdjkg ja    TRANSLATION: it’s the honorable thing to do
SKANK HO:  fafidg  grh jthr gankdl khji tuera hd     TRANLSATION: i love my boos.

Chief had surprised me by coming up to work with lunch that day. As I sat in the car I asked him if he is ever in communication with his son OR his ex regarding the baby. He makes a face.. shakes his head and says ‘nope’.

So again.. I tell him what I saw on Facebook and he non-chalantly says “oh, yea.. Weed told me he proposed on Christmas day and I just blew it off”.

Nice. REAL Nice.

Once again.. I felt like I was kept out of the loop. Once again, I felt like we’re supposedly in a relationship where we’re suppose to be best friends and we’re suppose to support each other.. be shoulder to shoulder .. right?

OBVIOUSLY, I’m the only one who thought that.

Because APPARENTLY it’s a relationship where what’s mine is his and that’s just about fucking it.

So now here’s the thing.

If there’s one thing I know for sure is that I know how I am. It takes me a loooong time to turn my back but once it’s turned it stays that way. Once may feelings change.. they’re changed. Once I change my opinion of someone.. it’s changed.

And all the above happened.

So now I patiently wait until midnight where we tell each other our new year’s resolutions.. and I tell him that I don’t want to know about anything about anyone that doesn’t live under my roof.. don’t ask me for anything.. don’t tell me about anything.. don’t feed them food that I bought.. don’t invite them into a home that I pay for.. I don’t want to know or be a part of baby showers or wedding receptions or baptisms or births.

Done.. Over.. I’m Out..

 

Knock.. Knock… Guess Who’s Back!!!

… and boy has it been a while!!

So where do I begin? I guess I should start with where I’m at now and work back to how I got here and if that in itself isn’t a testament to what faith does for one, then honestly I don’t know what would.

Ok.

RIGHT NOW:

We moved into a new house this weekend. Same area but better town. This is the kind of place we were looking all over Pennsyl-tuckey and West Virginia to find. Small secluded house.. wood burning fireplace.. long drive way.. large, fenced in yard.. way cheaper rent.

It looks bigger on Google Earth but this kind of gives you a rough idea:

Red Line = the entire property

Blue Line = the house (front porch, enclosed back porch and florida room)

Yellow Line = the driveway

Green Line = the in-ground pool and deck

Now don’t let the green eyed monster start to attack. We’ve been going through hell and high water since April and after a lot.. and I mean A LOT of prayer.. this place kind of fell in our laps.

The owner is moving to another state to be near her daughter and turns out that she wasn’t going to be able to take her dog with her. And like our prayer was answered when we found her house, HER prayers were answered when we told her we’d keep her dog .. a beautiful lab/setter/coon hound mix who is so laid back, gentle and quiet you don’t even know he’s around. Pics of him to come later.

BACK THEN:

If you read the last few posts you know that I was having issues with powers that be in the old town we lived in. I realize now that there issue wasn’t so much that we had had a generator but that we were sustaining on our own. We didn’t need anyone and weren’t looking for hand outs and that bothered them.

When we couldn’t have the generator anymore, we started using car batteries for electricity. I know how that sounds and I’ll have to elaborate at a later time but basically we had car batteries that kept our lives fairly normal.

NOTE: Fairly normal meaning fairly normal for us. We are SO not traditionally normal!!

We had internet.. could charge the laptop, cell phone, ipods, etc.. we even watched tv although not for long stretches. We had light via rechargable camping lanterns or oil lamps.. cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner on a camping stove and took hot showers daily by using propane. We food shopped daily and what we could store for short periods, we did so using coolers.

And look.. yes, it was frustrating at times especially during the summer when the heat index hit 104.. but we cooled the house down the old fashioned way and used 12v fans connected to car batteries at night and on those days when we thought the dogs health was in jeopardy, we got a hotel room and snuck them in for the night.

But it is one thing to try and stay cool during the summer and another to keep warm during the winter. We knew we would have to move before the cold weather started and thanks to God, we were able to.

Now we have electricity and I can’t begin to tell you the joy of buying a gallon of milk again.. or frozen vegetables!!

The whole electricity issue wasn’t the only reason why we moved.. the house we were in was literally falling apart. The roof has so many leaks.. the basement still floods.. and the landlord still isn’t doing anything about it. Mind you, we were paying 1400.00 a month and the junkies in the ghetto were living better. So yea.. time to move on.

A few other things going on with the usual suspects:

Chief has some kind of health thing going on. He was hospitalized for a week over Memorial Day weekend but after every single test known to man, they couldn’t find out what was wrong with him. He’s still having issues and was back in the ER yesterday morning in more pain then I’ve ever seen him in. Luckily.. if there is such a thing.. it was only a kidney stone trying to pass through his system. I’ll save the whole “size” jokes until after he feels a little better.

Spaz shot up a few inches and isn’t shaped like a beach ball any longer. He turned 13 over the summer and seems to have matured a little. That or he’s away from the influence of his two older brothers. I have to say that he did take not having electricity better then I thought he would. He got frustrated at times.. but we all did. He likes the new house and so far he’s been diligent on keeping his room clean and not leaving dishes in the sink. Ok.. so we’ve only been here TWO days. I can be delusional, can’t I?

Haven’t seen or heard anything from Bubba since he walked out of the house back in February because he didn’t want to go back to school. Nothing. Not a word, song or dance. Father’s day came and went.. Chief’s birthday came and went.. nada. Funny thing is about 2 weeks before Chief went into the hospital, the Crack Whore told him Bubba would have to come back and live at Chateau Ghetto for a while because she *cough cough* had to move into her pimp’s boyfriend’s mother’s house and there was no room for him.

Heh. Yea. That was NOT going to happen.

I basically told Chief that I wasn’t going to stand in the way BUT I reminded him of everything Bubba did and I was not going to be housed under the same roof as him. I’d gladly go stay at Cousin Bird’s for the duration. I wasn’t being manipulative. I was being honest.

Just so happened that Chief was in the hospital when she was beating her rent and moving into Momma Pimps’ house and I oh so gladly snipped that little plan. And, of course, the first time the boyfriend flexed his pimp hand all the text messages started about how Bubba needed to stay at our place.. he was homeless.. blah blah blah. The reality was that the Crack Whore’s parents would have gladly taken her and Bubba in but they required her to NOT run the streets and stay home and parent her son.

Heh. Yea. Right.

Of course I know that all her over-elaborated stories were just figments of a drug riddled mind and Bubba stayed out of my house.

Weed is another story all together.

After completely disrespecting me and his father at one of my family member’s July 4th BBQ’s, Chief finally kicked him to the curb for good. Guess being called a fucking cock sucker in front of people he admired and respected was Chief’s breaking point. So Weed slithered back to the crack den he had been staying when he previously disappeared for weeks at a time and about a month after that called Chief’s twin brother Sarge asking if he can stay there.  Sarge agreed. Mainly because he always tries to shove in Chief’s face that he can provide better for his kids then Chief can.

Sarge has NO clue.

The day after.. or maybe two days after Weed went to live with him.. we were at an engagement party where Sarge and his wife showed up. She brought up the fact that Weed called them for help and I gave her the whole entire lowdown. Not the sob story she had been told. Her eyes got a little wider and you could see the wheels spinning but she’s too self absorbed being righteous to admit they had made a mistake. She insisted they were going to make him get a job. Yea. Good luck on that.

But Weed, being Weed, it didn’t take long for him to find himself back in the pokey for stealing a lipstick from a local drug store chain. In fact, the Crack Whore (ever the optimist .. snort.. ) remarked that it was “only” lipstick and he was just trying to impress his girlfriend.

Considering that the girlfriend also resides in the town we just moved out of, I’m assuming she would not have been impressed had Weed had a job and actually BOUGHT her lipstick.

At any rate.. no one posted the 500.00 bail and he spent a month in county jail. He’s out now, camped out on the Crack Whore’s sofa until the next time he gets arrested.

In better news.. I was finally able to find a job in May. The company I work for is BEYOND awesome. It’s doing what I’ve done before and I kicked ass from day one. The pay is great.. the bonus’ are awesome and I couldn’t be happier. Except .. it’s me we’re talking about here.. I just found out last week that the company was sold to a bigger company based down south so I may not have a job again.

Sucks. I know. I can’t tell you how many sleepless nights I’ve had. Well… yes I can.. every damn night since I found out.

What else?

Oh.

OMG!

How could I forget!!

We finally got our RV back from where we left her in West Virginia in January. Not that it was any easier getting her back here. We drove out there on a Friday and reached her at around 3am. Nobody touched her.. she started right up.. and no four legged creatures had made her it’s home. She did have more water damage from sitting in the snow and rain but we were able to catch a few hours sleep. About 20 miles into the ride to the campsite we were going to stay over at, the brakes seized and she wound up having to go to a mechanic. Very long story short for right now. We left her.. spent the night in a cabin at the campsite anyway and returned the 7 hours to our end of Pennsylvania on Sunday… only to do the whole trip over again the following weekend.

The first time we took the RV west, we drove through two blizzards. This time driving her east, we traveled through 3 torrential thunderstorms.

And you wonder why my hair is grey?

But now she’s parked safely in a storage yard around the corner from our house so all is good for her.

We also added an additional to the existing zoo that lives under our roof. Back in May, Al the cat we thought was a boy that turned out to be a girl became a woman when she had kittens. Six to be exact. We wound up keeping one, named Retard, because if you watched her you’d know that she just fits right in with this dysfunctional family! She is adorable though. Pics of her coming along with a Pages update.

So that’s what’s been going on here.. I apologize for skipping out for a while but it was unavoidable.. Now that I’m back to living like a normal person, I’ll be posting more..

What have y’all been up to and catch me up on things I’ve missed!!

Calendars! They’re A GOOD Thing..

.. so about two years ago, (No Longer.. Maybe) Weed was living with us and in one of Dante’s Infernos with his drug and alcohol abuse.

NOTE: Let me just interject here that (No Longer.. Maybe) Weed was 18 when I came into his life and because I considered him an adult, didn’t really intrude on his privacy. Maybe I should have.. maybe Chief definitely should have but it’s just the way it was. Neither of us had no clue how deeply addicted he was.

.. anyway

So two years ago he gets arrested stealing crap out of our neighbors cars.. barefoot.. at four o’clock am.

We actually didn’t find out until the following day but that’s another store for another time and one that I really don’t think I want to revisit.

Anyway.. that arrest was what prompted the first stay in rehab and because it was his first offense, they were putting him in the ARD program. That being something which, had he completed, would have wiped his file clean.

But come on.. even YOU knew that wasn’t going to happen, right??

A year after his arrest, he was called into court about his fines. He hadn’t paid anything on them and you know, they take that seriously. So they sent this letter basically saying that if you don’t pay the fine then they were going to remove him from the ARD program and there would be another trial. Or A trial. There was never a trial the first go around.

So the day of the court date comes and he’s all begging and pleading.. and the Crack Head is doing her YOU NEED TO BE A FATHER screech.. and at that point, he had been going to school to get his GED .. or no, wait.. he had just taken the test for his GED.. and so I told him and Chief that if he worked at the store everyday then we would send a hundred dollars a week up to the courthouse and his fines would be paid off by like March or something.

Mind you.. this was December? January?

I even typed a letter from Chief to the court explaining the situation and what he was committing to, etc.

We also sent him up to the courthouse with, I think, 113.00.. which was 10% of what he owed.

I figured that taking 20.00 a day out of the register wasn’t going to hurt us.

And it wouldn’t have.. if anyone did it.

You know.. maybe I’m part of the problem here but I am not going to have all this shit on my shoulders. These aren’t my kids.. she isn’t my ex.. they’re his problems that HE needs to deal with and be responsible for. I can’t help it if I refuse to treat a grown man like a child. I had 18 years of that with my first husband and promised myself not to let it happen again. Sometimes it sneaks up on me but when I catch it.. I do an about face and things like (No Longer.. Maybe) Weed’s fines don’t get paid.

Not that (No Longer.. Maybe) Weed was even worried about it. Did he ever ask about it? Did he ever put money aside from the 10 or 20 that Chief would give him if he worked longer then his self-imposed two hour shift?

Nope.. nope.. annnnnnnnnnnddddddd Nope.

So then in May? June? He had another court date. The judge told him that he had to have the fines paid by September 15th. No more extensions. If it wasn’t paid then they proceed with trial.

Now I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

The kid has come around since last year.. he works every day.. and does work when he’s there, not just sits around.. and he was putting applications in for a job… and so I was like, alright. I’ll do my best to make sure it gets paid.

Which meant, that I was use my unemployment check to pay it off. I figured we could finagle the house bills for two months.. as long as the house rent was paid.. we’d make it work.

Oh.. poor delusional Leese.

I wasn’t able to actually put anything on his fines until August. My intention was to put 500.00 on it at the end of August and then the way my checks fell, I would be able to pay the remaining 450.00 of it by the second week of September.

Except in August, Chief needed 200.00 to cover a check he wrote for the store.. and then we went to Washington DC and I had to tap into some of the house rent money so by the time I got another unemployment check, I wasn’t able to pay the 1000.00 / 375.00 like I usually do .. it was something like 800.00 / 550.00.

So I had 300.00 for (No Longer.. Maybe) Weed’s fine but then Chief needed 250.00 for the store’s rent.

NOTE: Now do you understand why I went absolutely bat shit balls on Chief when he made the comment about giving him the money back for paying my tickets????

Oh.. and because I hadn’t paid the previous month’s electric bill because I put money on (No  Longer.. Maybe) Weed’s fine, it got cut off.

So I started to get REALLY pissed off that I’M the one paying for these fines while Chief and the shop are just sucking up any additional money that I have.. and the Crack Whore is always crying broke since you know.. she has all these men paying all these bills and she spends the summer laying on the beach turning into a raisin.

This past Friday was a bad day because of the oven (which I’ll still post about because it’s never really about the oven!) and I was waiting for a guy to come and look at it but he never showed.. and so when the mail came and it was from the county courthouse addressed to Chief and stating that there was a warrant out for his arrest and he had 24 hours to turn himself in.. well, let me tell you.. that was the last straw.

I called him up and told him what came in the mail and that indeed.. it was the last straw.

You see, a while ago he had child support court and after waiting all day to be called, they took some kind of break and he went off ont he court bailiff. To the extent that he got a 400.00+ fine for disorderly conduct that he never paid. That’s what I thought THIS was referring to but after looking it up the docket online, I found out that this was for (No Longer.. Maybe) Weed :: I forgot that he lived here when he was arrested :: and they sent it out because he missed a court date on Sept 7th.

Chief said that he had mentioned something to him about court but (No Longer.. Maybe) Weed said he didn’t have it or he didn’t know about it or something.. don’t remember.. and really, honestly, don’t care.

When Chief looked at the paper on Friday, he said that he would tell (No Longer.. Maybe) Weed on Saturday about it but I don’t think he did.. I don’t think he told him Sunday and I really doubt that he told him today.

Should I have remembered? Maybe.. but you know what? I can’t keep track of everything and why should it be more important to me then it is to them?

I don’t get it..

I don’t get them..

Bad Boys.. Bad Boys.. Watcha Gonna Do When They Come For You

“You” meaning “Me”

If you search around this blog, you will find previous posts about the obscene amount of parking tickets I get on Street Sweeping day. That’s because my house is on the point of three intersecting streets and every bloody day is Street Sweeping day and I still.. after three years.. have yet to understand which side gets swept on which day at which times.. especially because apparently, this information is tribal fucking legend with no signs posted for the memory challenged.

On the day the Street Sweeper comes around, the truck is followed by a cop car and if you’re parked where you shouldn’t BE parked, they write you up on a blaze orange envelope and stick it in your windshield.

The cost is 15.00.

I used to pay them as soon as I got them before.. before I was laid off.. before the shop started to tank.. before I somehow became responsible for paying (No Longer.. Maybe) Weed’s criminal fines.

And sometimes I wouldn’t even GET them.. either the wind took them.. or one of the bratty neighborhood kids took them off.. sometimes Chief would take them off and I wouldn’t know about it until I got a summons in the mail.

A few times I put the cash in the blaze orange envelope to be deposited into the special mail box at the courthouse down the street from the store and on the way to Bubba’s school and the Crack Whore’s apartment.. but somehow those little envelopes just never made it in there.

That stopped REAL quick.

So Tuesday, Chief had cut his finger really bad. He couldn’t be around food and since yet another cable/internet tech was due at the house to fix our shit, I told him to just go ahead up to the house and wait for them. It made no sense for him to be at the shop when he couldn’t do anything and it is a very rare day when he isn’t in the store from sun up until well past sun down.

See! That was me being nice.

Anyway.. what I don’t find out until the next morning was not only was the cable guy there, but the constable was there.

To arrest me.

For unpaid Street Sweeping tickets.

In the amount of $228.00.

I had twenty four hours to handle my shit .. well, less by time Chief told me and I freaked out.

I didn’t freak out because the constable was there.. I freaked out because THIS IS NOT ME .. I don’t let shit like this go.. I always paid what I needed to pay when I needed to pay it.

Until I met him.

Did you ever hear of regret breeding contempt?

Yea.

Almost there.

Especially because Chief PROMISED me that he’d have money for me to take up to the courthouse by the end of the day and he didn’t. He had half of it in the store’s bank account and was REAL reluctant to withdraw it for me.. and even though that’s bad enough.. I really saw RED when he said, “.. you’re going to give it to me back, right?”

Lord Jesus how I didn’t murder the man right there.

Instead.. I bitched him out like he’s never been bitched out before and I pulled out every fucking ace from my sleeve regarding how many times I’ve given him money for the store and he’s never given it back to me.

I believe I even though something across the store but in all honesty, I was so white hot angry that I don’t remember.

Because, you see, what I found out about this man over the years is that not only is he not good with money.. but he’ll do whatever it takes to get what he needs. Sound familiar? He’d be the male Crack Whore if it weren’t for the fact that it’s about his “needs” not his “wants”.

That might be a little too harsh but just writing this is getting my blood boiling. So I apologize in advance for sounding pissed off.. especially something that happened a week ago.

The store is behind on the rent .. business has been down.. and my unemployment check can only be stretched so far. I’m not going to NOT pay the house rent because the store has empty shelves. Sorry, not gonna happen.

The last time the electricity got cut, I told him that THAT was never going to happen again.. and either he better call up the electric company and work something out OR get used to living like the olden days because I wasn’t going to borrow money from anybody to take care of a bill that he didn’t take care of because he needed the money for the store.

He is working his ass off to get over the hump .. another deli opened about a block away which is killing business .. even opening up on Sundays again to make extra money.. but he’s just not business savvy. The boy can cook his ass of.. but other then that, he’s virtually useless.

So that whole attitude and OH MY GOD I CAN’T PAY MY FINE BECAUSE I’M PAYING YOUR FUCKING SONS statement didn’t really make for a happy time in the store but you know what? He gave me that check.. I paid the fines and had the warrant lifted.. and now (No Longer.. Maybe) Weed is on his own.. the shop is on it’s own.. it’s either going to sink or swim on it’s own because I’m not putting any of the personal money into it.

Whether he knows it or not.. it’s just the way it’s going to be.