… because you asked (part 2)

.. apologies for having to skip out earlier.

One thing led to another.. and then another.. and then somehow I found myself at Target buying a lot of crap I didn’t need and forgetting what it was I actually went in there for!!

Grrr!!

At any rate.. okay.. so where was I?

So I left off with the trials and tribulations of Elvis.

Just for S&G’s :: shits and giggles :: I stalked his Facebook page :: don’t anyone update their privacy settings??? :: Apparently, he’s still in Oklahoma AND surprise.. surprise.. he’s in communication with the Crack Whore.

Heh.. omg.. I can’t stop giggling!! I can’t make up this shit, people!

Okay so the biggest question I got :: always get, actually :: is WHY THE HELL DO YOU STAY IN THIS INSANITY??

The quick and dirty answer is: Right????

But the truth is a lot more complex.

Look, no relationship is perfect. And every battle isn’t won. Everyone has their good and bad sides and unfortunately, I put people’s bad sides on blast when I blog. It’s venting.. it’s OMG! I can’t be the ONLY person who thinks this is bizzarro!!! .. it’s just me being me doing the things I do. I recognize that I don’t always blog when Chief does something amazing or says something that makes me fall out laugh and pee my pants but those things do happen.

I realized a long time ago that I was naive with this whole “man with kids” thing and that I didn’t know what the hell I was getting into. Did my opinion of Chief change? Yes. Did I fall out of love with him? No. It’s just one of those things that I either accepted or didn’t and moved on.

Him as a man to my woman is worth a lot more then anything his kids, ex or whatever could make me give up. Happy is easy. Difficulty is what proves love.

OR I’ve had way too many Gummi Bears and I’m on a sugar rush!!

Plus, you know, I’m a fighter. I’ll fight with any one about anything for sport!! LoL!

Oddly enough, I get asked about my menagerie of pets.

Right now.. on the bed with me.. is Butch, the dog that came with the house because my landlord wasn’t able to take him with her when she moved, Ernie: The Terrorist Puppy that is no longer a terrorist OR a puppy. He’s just a root beer barrel shape mess of neurosis who can’t sleep unless he’s under a blanket and Moan-a, the indoor cat who got stuck in our old attic with a Christmas ball named Wilson for company and has since become an outdoor cat at the new house. Unless, like tonight, it’s in the single digits with freezing rain. Then she’s on my bed.

Chief is wanting to get me a blue bird to fill the space on my bed after I Tretis myself in for the night around these three.

We’ve had a few too many Rainbow Bridge send-offs:

Luca Bella.. the love of my life. I can’t write about her or I’ll bust out crying and be an emotional wreck for a month. It was her time and I had to let her go. It was the right thing to do.

Then there was Al.. the best damn cat in the world. We still don’t know what happened to her. We just drove home from somewhere and she was curled up at the base of our drive way as if she was sleeping. Some one had suggested that she may have licked antifreeze which made sense because she was a complete outdoor cat and we had just moved to the new house. The weather was turning cold and someone, somewhere may have leaked it or spilled it and there you go. Considering what roams around my neighborhood, I have no angst that it was on purpose. Just, sadly, one of those things.

Lastly there was Retard. Don’t give me shit about her name. You had to know her and you’d get it immediately. She was beyond awesome. Just like a puppy and friendly as all hell. She followed Moan-a through a window that I didn’t realize was left open. We found Moan-a but not Retard. I can’t say for sure that she Rainbow Bridge-d it. More then likely someone found her.. or she climbed in their handbag :) .. and got herself a new home.

I hope so. She was too special to not have a long, spoiled life.

And that’s really all about it. Unless y’all got something else you want to know!

Keep asking because.. obviously.. my life is nothing but an open book!

.. because you asked

… so I’ve gotten some pretty interesting questions since I started posting again.

They MAY have come from WordPress, come to think of it, to KEEP me posting. Dunno! :)

But some have come from :: who knew! :: readers who’ve been reading for a long time.

Imagine that!

Of interest was the reaction of both Weed and the GF (still can’t think of an appropriate tag for her) when I asked her about being with a deadbeat when her own son’s father wasn’t in his life.

I wasn’t looking at Weed so I don’t know what his “face” looked like but I can say :: most surprisingly :: that the GF responded that she’s been telling Weed to spend more time with T3. To which, Weed replied that it’s been tough because he really doesn’t have any money. TO WHICH I replied that phone calls are free.. and so is the park.. and so is Sunday dinners at my house.

The GF had mentioned earlier that her car was being worked on because of a minor fender bender that left the rear off-centered but she did tell Weed that they could take public transportation down to my house. No easy feat considering where they live and where I live but at least appreciated that she was more pro then con with Weed being involved in his kid’s life.

To be fair :: there was too much ” grrr ” last night to be objective :: she seems like she’s an okay person. She lives with her parents, has a degree in elementary and special education and has a real job working with kids as an educator. She comes from a fairly affluent community :: which means absolutely nothing except that she isn’t living in a crack den :: and she met Weed in a program because she had become addicted to pain meds after a serious car accident a few years ago. On the surface, it would appear that if he had to be in a relationship with anyone at least this girl appears to have her priorities in order.

What I don’t know is if she is strong enough to handle Weed’s persuasions. Charm is built into these boy’s DNA :: from their father’s side :: and they’ve only been “in a relationship” :: according to Facebook :: since November 21st.

Yes, I stalk. Report me!

But.. as with everything.. time will tell.

I’ve also been asked what ever became of Elvis, Chief’s jailbird nephew who was was brought out to PA by Chief’s douchebag brother.

Not sure where I left off on THAT story.

The thumbnail is that Elvis has been in and out of jail for half his life and through Facebook, connected with his PA family for the first time. His mother had high-tailed out of the area when he was 6 months old and never had any contact with his father’s side of the family.

His douchebag uncle paid his way out here, put him up and basically treated him like a plantation slave.. never really giving him the opportunity to venture off the property to find work to sustain on his own. Couple that with alcohol and the fact that douchebag’s wife has an Oedipus complex and hates, hates, hates anybody or anything that diverts the douchebag’s attention away from her.. shit was a powder keg waiting to explode.

And it did.. one drunken night when Douchebag said something that Elvis took the wrong way and Captain Morgan set those powder kegs on fire.

Elvis was banished from the property.. his clothes dumped in a McDonald’s parking lot.. and he was left stranded in a state where he knew know one.

Of course, he knew me.. but communication between me and him stopped when he went to live with Douchebag. All extensions of hospitality were met with “sorry, can’t” or “busy” or whatever excuse came my way.

So I wasn’t in a too charitable mood when all of a sudden he’s blowing up my phone with text messages needing help.. money.. a place to stay.. etc.

However, I’m not heartless and sometimes the best way to help someone is to make them help themselves.

I reached out to a homeless shelter that’s affiliated with the Salvation Army. I explained the situation and they gladly offered him a place to stay, food, clothing vouchers, etc. while helping him find a job.

For someone who said that they were committed to turning their life around and all they needed was the opportunity, you’d think that one would take THIS opportunity and fly with it.

He flew alright.. all the way to Oklahoma.

What happened was he started to get too involved with the people he was living with.. all kinds of people who’s circumstances made them opportunists. I had told him to keep his head down and stay out of any issue that didn’t directly concern him. He didn’t listen and was either thrown out or asked to leave :: still don’t know which :: and since he was already working for a landscaping company :: that the shelter helped him get :: he decided he was going to get his own place.

According to his story, he had to sleep on the streets a few nights but finally was able to rent a room from a guy who had once been a resident of the shelter.. made good and now wanted to give back. He would rent rooms to those who were in the transition part of their lives.

His mother put up the first week’s rent because Elvis was between paychecks but sometime after he moved in, I get the phone call asking if I can help him because he didn’t get his check and his rent was due. I told him to talk to his landlord and explain.. even have his landlord talk to his boss. Something adult and reeking of responsibility.

Never knew what happened because the next thing I know is that he’s trying to get money for bus fare to Oklahoma because he had to leave right! away!.

Putting the puzzle pieces I had to work with in place, I think what happened was Elvis wanted to live his way and the landlord had rules regarding who or what goes on in his property. Elvis started posting pictures of tattoos he was doing and I’m sure the caliper of people who would get tattooed by someone like Elvis aren’t the kind of people the landlord wanted hanging around.

Elvis also has a quick temper and I’m thinking that something went down.. the police were called and he decided his best move was to get out of the state.

Don’t really know.. and really, don’t really care. I’ve been bit by the dog too many times to keep trying to pet him.

Elvis kind of fell off the face of the earth so I really can’t give you a current update.

… well, baby’s up from his nap which means my time no longer belongs to me!!!!

 

 

@#$%^&*

Is there post traumatic stress syndrome for snow fall?

There really should be…

Think about it ..

People here that snow’s coming so they rush to the market to get the “essentials” :: bread, eggs, milk, coffee, sweet tarts :: all at the same time .. sliding through stop signs and traffic lights.. cursing other drivers over parking spaces.. etc.

I love the people that will buy SHOPPING CARTS full of bread, milk and eggs because of a storm. Like, really people?? Even when we got 70″ last year, the roads were clear enough the following day to travel on .. it’s not like we’re in the middle of the boonies with no access to paved roads.

I hate snow for a variety of reasons but mostly different from normal people:

I hate the kids tracking snow through the house ..

I hate when they throw their wet coats over the dining room chairs instead of hanging them on the front porch

I hate when they whine that their boots are wet when they’re told AS SOON AS THEY COME IN to take them off and but them upside down on the heater to dry out

I hate when they bang the snow off their shoes and the dogs start barking like we’re being invaded by strangers .. three kids.. six feet..  get the idea?

I hate when the snow plow builds the Waaaaallllll Oooooooofffff Snnoooowww all around my property and you have to climb a mountain to get to the car… because this size 16 ass sinks to the bottom of it.

But don’t worry .. I’ll be bitching about how damn hot it is in a few months! It all evens out!

Here’s the obligatory pictures. Only one is mine.. the rest I swiped off of my friend’s pages on Facebook because I really didn’t feel like taking pictures of the same old scenes and I wasn’t about to get all suited up in snow gear to go outside!! LoL!

Wall Of Snow .. appears smaller then it really is

 

Mind you, the door where I took this picture from is a lot higher then the street so what looks like a mole hill is actually a mountain.

I live on a corner property and since the plows always plow to the right of the driver, this mountain goes all the way around the side of my house.

Expect it to still be there in April.

 

 

 

 

D's car ..

 

This is my friend D’s car.

She lives in the inner city.

It doesn’t really look so bad but considering that D is an uber-fashionista who doesn’t know what it’s like to where shoes with a heel less then 3″ .. regardless of weather .. I can imagine that she had a minor freak out when she saw her car.

I also don’t think she knows that therma guard gloves and hat’s meant to keep a body warm exist.

 

 

J's hood

 

 

J also lives in the inner city.

When you live in the city, you don’t get plowed like we get plowed.. especially on side streets and you get a fine if you shovel your side walk snow into the street.

That actually makes sense but makes people crazy.

What also makes them crazy .. and lethal, in some cases, is when someone digs their car out of a parking space and tries to “save” it with beach chairs or buckets or whatever. Snow makes people crazy, let me tell you!

 

L's development

 

L lives in a “community” in New Jersey.

The kind of place that tells you what color to paint your house and how tall your grass is allowed to grow.

I’m figuring next year they’ll amend their community regs to include just how much snow one is allowed to accumulate before they issue a fine.

Hey.. times are tough all over, right?

L actually has it good because the back of his property slopes down .. fun for sledding without the embarrassment of having neighbors laughing at your simple 45 years old ass when you fall off and get snow burn on your face.

 

 

 

So to all you lovely readers experiencing weather ABOVE 31 degrees, I have a few words for you… but I’m not allowed to say them because I was raised right!!

LoL ..

Excuse Me, Mr. Snow? Yea.. Um.. The Novelty Wore Off, Ok?

Caution: Snow is Worse Then It Appears

Sorry I haven’t posted anything about the National Lampoon Road Trip trip we took last weekend but we had a LOT to recover from and had to jump right back into the regular swing of things like, right away…  I’m just beginning to catch my breath so I’ll be posting about all that really, really soon…

Sucks being on a “normal” sleep schedule!! I’m sleeping through my usual blogging time! LOL

And like..

Driving 4 hours through a snow storm to Central PA on Friday wasn’t enough?

Driving  2 hours through a snow storm towards Western PA on Saturday wasn’t enough?

Getting stuck in the middle of it and having to spend the night in a rest stop wasn’t enough?

Driving 3 hours through a snow storm through Pittsburgh and into West Virginia on Sunday wasn’t enough?

Turning right around and driving the 8 hours BACK to South Eastern PA via West Virginia and Maryland in a snow storm WASN’T enough??

We got dumped with 10″ of the white stuff early this morning…

I guess after the 72″ we got last year it’s not so bad but I’m just sick of the damn stuff!

Instead of closing, Spaz’s school opened 2 hours late but we kept him home.. neither of us felt like getting up and cleaning off the car and driving through the mess (can’t imagine why, can you?)

Which meant that ALL of us were home AT THE SAME TIME.. a luxury usually reserved for the weekends *cough cough*..

But it was all good..

I wasn’t stuck in some rest stop on Rt 80 .. wasn’t trying to drive with windows covered with salt and no wiper fluid.. didn’t have to worry about Chief driving behind me in a 1979 Dodge Fleetwood RV that has seen SO MANY better days soooo long ago.

It was good not to have to worry about anything but who was going to take the dogs out!!

 

Putting You On The Hot Seat

Ok.. I know you’re waiting for the main event but I have to throw this in first because I happened to mention it to Chief a few weeks ago and earlier today he brought it up so I’m throwing it out there for y’all..

Google toilet seat images.. you'll be AMAZED at how many really cool toilet seats there are. Who knew?

This thought had popped into my head that I will put my bare ass on a toilet seat, but if I had to sit on one with my pants up, I get all skeeved out.

Why?

Wouldn’t you think that because my ass is protected from the toilet seat by a layer of denim that it wouldn’t bother me?

It’s like I’m favoring my jeans from getting some type of demin-eating-disease over my skin and ass?

How can that possibly make any sense?

Well.. in my world it does but you know what I’m saying..

The other thing is that I will sit on the toilet lid with my pants up .. but NEVER EVEN CONCEIVE of the idea if my pants are down.

Isn’t that like a double standard?

Because wouldn’t you think a CLOSED toilet lid is CLEANER then the seat since ours is always up anyway and there are any number of bare asses that sit on the seat beside mine?

Which is why.. yknow.. I always spray mine down with the handy bottle of Clorox Clean-Up I keep on the bathroom window sill.

So I randomly mention this to Chief a few days ago and he is all.. yknow.. why didn’t I find out her real name was Abby Normal before I married her.. until this morning when he tells me that he realized that HE just can’t sit on the toilet seat with his pants up.. even for a few minutes.. he tried and just can’t do it either.

So I’m putting this out there for you, Blog-O-Sphere…

Can YOU sit on a toilet seat with your pants up??