Gone Fishin’

You know when you just have one of “those” weekends… the good kind?

At the beginning of the week, Spaz had money saved that was literally burning a hole in his pocket that he was literally busting to spend. So we take him over to Walmart and he’s looking at absolutely nothing to waste his money on. Tried to get him to wait until the following day to go to the hobby shop but he wasn’t having any of it..

So Chief, who is Mr. SuvivorMan himself, suggests that Spaz get a fishing pole.

Chief loves to fish… I love to fish… Spaz says he loves to fish but I don’t know if I actually believe his “fish” stories… I mean,  I could always as Chief but it really doesn’t matter. He’s 9 and fishing appears to be the thing that would really benefit him now.. get him out of the house on warm days and get him to settle down a bit. He has no choice… you can’t be all Spaz-ish when fishing!

So we head out early Saturday morning :: Openning Day of Trout here ::, Me and Chief get our licenses and we head out to the creeks. Fortunately, we live near alot of different creeks that the state stocks and since Chief knows the area like the back of his hand, he knew just where to go.

And go we did… down steep inclines, over fences, under over passes, across huge dead tree trunks and down slippery rocks to get to NOT catch one damn fish!

We were at it for close to 9 hours before we were left with no hooks, no weights and really no more desire to be cold, wet and standing in the wind without the benefit of a steaming hot cup of coffee to take the edge off!

Mind you, when I fish.. I already know I’m not going to catch anything. Never did.. probably never will, LOL! But Chief is a great fisherman and he was getting pretty peeved that the only thing he was hooking was rocks and tree branches… Spaz’s mood was swinging on a pendulum. At first he was getting pissed because of his line, and that he wasn’t catching anything but after awhile when he realized that neither his father nor I were catching anything, he settled down knowing that it wasn’t just him.

Poor Spaz has some issues.. but we’re working through them.

We finally did wind up with 3 trout for dinner… thanks to the guy that came along next to us and hooked a damn fish everytime he cast his line in!! The look on Chief’s face was priceless!!  You have a maximum on how many fish you can catch in a day and the dude already went over his so he was throwing them back until he took pity on us and gave us a few!! LOL!!

We never laughed so hard… and enjoyed just being together so much… and great fish stories aside, that’s what it’s all about!

 

Why Am I Not Surprised…??

.. so this was Easter weekend. The boys were with their mother :: yea, don’t get too excited yet about her trying to be mother of the year :: and as much as Tim loves then to death and I love them to death we were NOT disappointed to have the whole Easter weekend to ourselves with nothing but time, empty house and a 50″ Plasma!!

NOTE: That’s as much detail as y’all are going to get, heathens!!

So I’ll rewind it to Saturday just to give you a feel for how things are balanced.

We were in some store.. I want to say the supermarket but I can’t imagine why we’d be there.. at any rate, it dawns on him that this is the first year that he hasn’t dyed eggs with the boys.. and he gets misty about it.. Seriously. He was upset that he wasn’t going to have the chance to do it with them :: see why I am utterly, uncontrollably and completely in love with this man? :: so he texts their mother saying that he hopes that she is going to dye eggs with them.

NOTE: Just remembered.. we were at the Farmer’s Market. Pffew! Thought the dementia was starting to kick in.

That was the last I know about eggs so we continue with our day. Few hours later, maybe, the phone rings and it’s their mother (herein referred to as “The Cunt” because, really, she just is) calls and tells Tim that M the 13 year old has been beating up on J the 9 year old all day and that the 13 year old pushed her :: honestly, didn’t believe it :: so she gives him the apartment phone number to call M

NOTE: Come to think of it now.. where was she that he had to call the apartment and where was the M’s sidekick?? Hmm.. you’ll see why curious minds want to know as you read on.

So Tim calls and apparently the boyfriend answered and he asked for M. M gets on the phone and Tim lays into him without giving M a chance to respond. He tells him that he’s not coming home :: M doesn’t like going to The Cunt’s because all they do is sit in a one bedroom apartment and watch TV :: and to stop harassing J.. he loves them but he will see them on Monday and he hangs up the phone.

Fast foward to Sunday morning. It’s about 9:00. Tim’s in the shower because we had plans to go to my mom’s to give her Easter flowers, visit the cemetary, go to church and then just go where the day takes us. I send M and J each a text message wishing them a Happy Easter. As soon as I sent it, Tim’s phone buzzes that he has a message. I don’t check his messages. We have no secrets and the bottom line is that I trust him.

He’s only out of the shower a few minutes when his phone starts to ring. It’s M. He tells him that The Cunt and her boyfriend have been fighting all night and that she supposedly “got lost” in his car and now he won’t let her drive it so we have to go pick them up.

Now.. just for giggles.. does ANYONE believe that? Seriously.. she has an alcohol and drug problem. She has a cell phone. She leaves her “babies” at the apartment alone with a guy that from what I understand, she hasn’t known very long and gets “lost” in a city who’s streets are made up like a grid. N, S, E, W .. that’s it.

Tim looks at me and I think I thought about going to get them before he even did. He hangs up with M and I tell him to read his text. It’s from The Cunt:

.. I don’t have anything for Easter dinner. Come get them.

God, my head exploded like a cartoon characters. Really, how could she NOT have dinner when she KNEW she was having them over Easter. How do you NOT have things for them to do or things to do with them when you only have them every other weekend :: which, btw, she isn’t entitled to have. :: I tell all this to him and he calls The Cunt and says the same things. He tells her she isn’t getting them again and hangs up on him.

She texts him:

.. that’s fine. Just come get them.

You know. They’re not my kids. I know they aren’t and I don’t pretend or try to be there “mother”. I’m just the strong, female presence in their lives that they always lacked. But when it comes to defending them, they couldn’t be anymore then mine.

There’s no question that we were going to go get them. Problem is, we weren’t planning on having them home so we didn’t have their Easter baskets ready, or did he have anything to cook for Easter dinner. So it was the mad dash driving to this store.. driving to that store… put stuff together in the car while I drove.. that kind of thing. But, with the grace of God, we get it done and it’s not such a bad thing.

So we call M when we were a few minutes away to tell them to be out front when we pull up and sure enough, they’re out there with The Cunt sitting on the step. I don’t even want to look at her because if I saw one twitch of a facial muscle or eyeball, she was going to find out real quick just who she was dealing with and how fast I can get back to my SP roots and get ghetto on her sloppy ass.

We load the kids in the car.. stop at my mom’s :: who gives them 5.00 each for Easter ::and then we head home. The kids start in about what had happened at The Cunt’s but I tell them that I didn’t want to hear anything.. we were together.. we’re blessed and it’s Easter, dammit!! 8>)

NOTE: Just to fill in the holes… From Friday night, The Cunt was in her bedroom complaining of a “headache” and that she didn’t feel good. On Saturday, she appearently went trolling to feed her habit and came home smashed. That caused an arguement with the boyfriend that lasted all night. Great.

Oh yea.. this is a good one too. She send them home with 1.5 dozen hard boiled eggs and empty plastic eggs and told them that they could dye eggs and have an egg hunt “over there” .. meaning our house. What a fucking loser.

So between helping J make a recurve bow from the Easter basket handle and painting my face like a bunny with fake ears and hopping around to techno bag pipe music we had a really fun, good time.

I told them that today we’d do the Easter egg hung and dying.. at first, J was giving me an attitude about it until I remind him that me and his dad were trying to get this all together at the last minute so he was going to have to cut us some slack.

His repsonse? “… I know, and you’re doing a good job”

And that’s all that it’s about, isn’t it?

 

Hindsight and Apologies

I’m not even going to put a spin on this… it is what it is and if there’s one thing that you can count on is me owning up to when I did something wrong.

And I was.

Unfortunately, a lot of years ago when I got caught up in something that I had no business even being near, you couldn’t tell me ANYTHING. You know what it’s like when you’re young… you know everything, have all the answers and fuck with or up anyone that tries to come between you and what you want.. regardless of who sufferes from fall out.

Yep. That was me. Quick to throw down… quick to let loose.. quick to fuck up someone.. anyone who didn’t fall into my line. “Rebel” wasn’t a word that applied to me… “Rebel” was a created for me…

At any rate… a lot of years, a lot of growing a lot of trials later.. and I realize just how wrong I was back then and just how many people suffered or were affected by the things that I did.

Although the past will always be the past… pain, mistrust, disloyalty and heart break kind of leave scars.

You know it’s said that everyone is seperated by six degrees of seperation? Well, this may have been 30, but this afternoon while I was helping my girl Li redo her MySpace page, we started clicking on friends of friends of friends of friends of friends :: Yea.. so we were bored at work :: and I came across a name that I knew could only belong to one person in the world…

And this person with the most unique of names happen to be in my crosshairs a long, long time ago.

I may have been directly responsible for the path her life took… or I may not have been. All I know is that when I saw her name, I felt horrible knowing the things that happened.

I send a message to her telling her that I sincerely sorry.

And I am.

I’m not the same person that I was… I am no longer the dark, rough, fuck you before you fuck me, fight the world, hard ass I used to be. Now.. my new life.. with my new family is filled with peace, laughter, light and truly unadulterated, unbiased love.

I truly hope she believes that I am sincere…

I am..

And if I could take everything back.. I would.

In a heartbe

 

Sometimes I Wonder…

Just what it is I’m doing here…

This is one of those “sometimes”… It’s 4:41am. Chief is snoring away beside me… Spaz is asleep on the lounge chair.. Bubba is alseep upstairs somewhere :: most times he doesn’t actually sleep in HIS room :: .. Weed  just got up to roam into the kitchen and probably left every cabinet door open in the process.. one of the dogs peed on the rug… the other dog chewed a USB cord.. the kitchen is a wreck.. the dining room is a wreck… the living room is a wreck… I couldn’t play a round of COD4 online because the controller is dead and I couldn’t find the remote to change the tv anyway… couldn’t take a shower because there are no clean towels…

I’m just really, really, REALLY frustrated right now…

Does it ever sink in? Are my expectations to high? Are my standards too high? Are they just too far gone?

… or do they just don’t care?

 

PS3 Widow

I think I told you how everyone in the house are major PS3 freaks? Chief and myself included?

The other night, Bubba was hard pressing for Guitar Hero III.

REWIND:

Weed was SUPPOSE to get GH3 with the Wireless Guitar for his birthday but since he decided to get stupid and hold an underaged drinking rave in his bedroom.. that kinda didn’t pan out for him. We were still going to get it but was holding out for awhile.

So anyway.. the other night at dinner, Bubba is whining like a little bitch about how he wants GH3.. all his friends have it.. why we just couldn’t buy it.. blah blah blah… Now mind you, this is a kid who’s punished for the rest of the school year because of his grades and the detentions he’s been getting. Personally, I’d punish him by making him sit in the living room reading a book instead of playing PS3 but… not my kid.

Fast foward to last night and Bubba asks me if I would take him to Game Stop because he wanted to trade out his Tony Hawk game and see if he could get GH3 used. Chief’s ears perk up because he wants to get Call of Duty 4.

REWIND:

We had Call of Duty 4 when it first came out. They beat it in like, three days and bitched that the online play was too hard so we turned it in for something else. Chief happened to hear on the morning show that he listens too that one of the DJs plays COD4 online so of course, now he wants it again so he can play against the DJ. Yea.. and you wonder, right?

I personally wanted to get Ninja Gaiden so I told Bubba that we’d go but that we weren’t driving because Chief and I were going to walk the dogs anyway. He was fine with it.. Spaz wasn’t fine with it in the beginning but when we didn’t fling ourselves at his ankles begging him to come with us he just figured he’d go IN CASE Bubba got something and he didn’t.

They roll that way.

So long story short.. we head down there with both dogs :: Ernie the Terrorist having to be dragged the whole half mile :: Bubba was on his bike… Spaz was on his razor scooter..  they didn’t have my game. They did have COD4 new so I got that for Chief.

Bubba is still hard pressing for GH3. He says something like, “… how do you have money for your games but not for GH3?”

NOTE

One thing they have yet to understand is that you do NOT ask my about the money I earn and what I choose to spend it on.

I tell him that it wasn’t that I didn’t have the money… it was that I didn’t want to buy GH3. He starts the bitch whining again saying he never gets anything. I roll my eyes and tell him that he has to be kidding me if he thinks that THAT is going to fly. He says that I may get him stuff but never a game.

REWIND

Months ago, we both happen to be home sick. Me from work.. him from school. Since Chief, Weed and Spaz where in work and school we decided that we were going to go to McDonald’s for lunch and then hit Game Stop. :: Yea. Yea. I know. :: That day I must have bought him 3 or 4 games. Used.. but still.

So I started to remind him of that when the girl behind the counter turns around and says, “… I remember that! You bought the Resident Evil set.”

Bubba just shook his head like, “… busted, dammit”.

Anyway.. I wound up getting GH3 and I wound up getting the guitar for Weed.

I knew from before we left that I was going to get it … and it wasn’t because he hounded me. I’m just a sucker. Plain and simple.

Chief was stoked about COD4 and I knew that once the kids went to bed.. I was going to be in for a long, lonely night.. week.. weekend.. month? When he gets into it, he gets into it and short of a nuclear bomb dropping on his head he’s oblivious to everything and everyone.

So that’s what I got to look forward to.

Time to get my own system!