Kid 3: Spaz
Spaz turned 10 in July and is the most fucked up kid I think I ever met. Not entirely his fault .. I mean, could he help that his biological mother was a crack whore who did more pills and whatever else she could ingest? And it isn’t his fault that her being in jail and her lifestyle mentally destroys him.
But.. with all that said.. I’m the one who has to deal with him and spin the fallouts.
He’s not much better then Bubba. He’s lazy and a slob who never cleans his room and has a habit of taking things that don’t belong to him or using things that he has no business using without permission. He’s another one who shoves wrappers and food things under the couch or in the covers… doesn’t take showers the way he should and would rather lay on his bed four inches from a pile of dog poo then to pick it up. OR do the simplest of solutions and keep his bedroom door closed but that’s too much to ask of this savant.
Spaz’ saving grace is that he does have the common sense to feel bad when I go on a rant about the house. And I know that deep down he really doesn’t want me to feel bad or be angry. He’s just to lazy and self centered to put any effort into changing his behavior.
LIVING ME 101 
I have three “Spaz’s” here at my house. Your description fits them all to a “T”. Except for the crack whore mother and jail. LOL
Nice blog you have here! :-D
Thanks for the comment Gary! Always appreciated!! Personally, I could REALLY do without the Crack Whore so here’s hoping she takes the wrong color scheme of pills! Oops! Did I just say that out loud?? LOL.. Anyway, nothing I haven’t already told her to her face.
I did check out your blog and LOVED IT! I laughed hardest at the “Going Commando” apron wearing post! Do you mind if I stick you on my blogroll? Well… I’m going to anyway so I guess that’s redundant. But it’s early and I haven’t ingested enough caffeine yet so please forgive!!! LOL
My youngest stepdaughter (14) is the same way. Her mom is filthy and the girl is determined to follow in her mom’s footsteps. She doesn’t steal, but she also stuffs trash in the couch cushions or underneath it, throws it all over their bedroom floor and never picks it up, and even tosses trash out the bedroom window. I know she does it on purpose, it takes a lot more effort than walking 2 steps to the trash can! She says she likes a mess and doesn’t want to be clean. Both girls (at 14 and 16 years old) have to be TOLD to take showers when they are here. Last time they were here the youngest one was mad because her dad told her to get her filthy underwear out of the bathroom cabinet, so she got a crayon and wrote on the banister. Um, ?!?! She lies constantly. She even refuses to close the lid on the toilet (of course, it’s only in the last few months that she would even FLUSH the toilet so something has improved). I used to try to give them a break because their mom is mean, abusive, dirty, and really a complete lunatic; and both girls have so many issues. But, I’m starting to think that they really are old enough now to start figuring things out and it irks me to death. I really want to help them, but they don’t listen to a thing I say. Sigh. I just pray that they will turn out all right in the end. They don’t have boyfriends or do drugs or drink, thankfully.
I feel your pain, GRAR!!!
So feel your pain!!
You know, I’ve had so many well meaning parents tell me to do THIS or THAT or whatever when it comes to the kids and their behavior.. and they are well-meaning, don’t get me wrong. But every kid is different and every situation is different and every past is different. It’s especially hard when you’re the step parent and the biological parent is still active in the picture. It’s a special club we’re in, I think.
Although nothing has really changed that much since I wrote that post 2 years ago, I will say that Spaz has gotten a lot better. He might not do what he’s SUPPOSE to do but he doesn’t give me much issue now when I tell him to put his socks in the laundry or wash his dishes in the sink.
He has been classified as Emotionally Disturbed so at least he has a REASON.. kind of.. and not like his 15 year old brother who is beyond anything known as “clean”.
I used to take their baggage into consideration.. but like you said.. they are old enough and have been around me long enough to know what is expected of them. So now I’m a hard ass and we’re quid pro quo .. you want me to drive you over your friend’s house? Well guess what Bucky.. that room better be the way it’s suppose to be.
I’ve also lightened up a little too.. not much!! ;).. but some things are just not going to get done the way I want them to be done so I’ll do it myself. It’s not about doing them any favors.. it’s about me keeping my sanity! When they were in school, I would make their beds and straighten out their room before I went down the the store we own. They liked coming home to a clean room.. it didn’t take me all day to do it.. and it also gave me the opportunity to snoop around and make sure they weren’t into things they shouldn’t be into or having things they shouldn’t have.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I had to find a balance that worked for me. I know what I’m dealing with and trying to get kids that don’t listen to you one way or the other was just driving a wedge between me and my husband and I refused to let that happen.
Like I said.. I’m in the same club so if you ever need to vent.. feel free!!
Thanks! We have the girls at our house 2 weekends per month, so we don’t get much time with them. I’ve pretty much given up on trying to talk to them about anything important, I just try to get an little idea of what’s going on in their lives. They live with their mom and stepdad in a small 2-bedroom duplex with 2 dogs and a number of birds, and they share a room with bunk beds. I think they appreciate being at our house in the quiet with a bit of privacy for a little while. They do have their good points (well, the older one does, the younger one seems to be going downhill fast), but they’re both so incredibly odd. Sometimes just I have to leave the room or the house when they are here.
Do you really think that calling his mother a “crack whore” in public lays a healthy basis for your relationship with him?
Hi Anne.. thanks for stopping by and commenting…
Since you didn’t enter an email or web address, I’m not sure if you will see this response but I’ll answer anyway because I guess you didn’t notice that all there are no “names” on this blog or any other identifying characteristics.
No.. I don’t refer to the boy’s mother as a Crack Whore in real life. In fact, quite the opposite. I spend most of my days in spin control because she constantly lets them down.. and have never once let on to them what my real feelings for her are OR the real reasons why she didn’t follow through with what she’d promised them.
So maybe if you read along a little further you would have become aware of that..
At any rate.. again, thanks for the drive by
thanks for answering.
I can just tell you: as the casual passer-by, the way you refer to people leaves a very strange impression (about your anonymous self)
Well Anne.. not quite sure what “strange” impression I leave but the truth is the truth and while not always pretty, my life is an open book.
The Crack Whore is referred to as such because that’s what she is.. it’s not my impression of her or any type of hatred for her.. she makes her way through life on her back.. sometimes on her knees.. and ingests any and all kinds of chemicals.. Crack just being the latest.
Spaz is just that.. there really is not better word to describe him.
Bubba is every visual conjured up when you hear that name and Weed.. well, he is an alcoholic junkie with a penchant or selling marijuana and popping pills.
I’ve called my husband “Chief” since I met him.. and so he is called that here. His is probably the only “name” that isn’t a true representation because really, he doesn’t lead or take command of anything.
.. and I’m just Leese.
I don’t try to hide anything about myself or my experiences other then our real names and where we live ( for obvious reasons ) …
Maybe your ilfe isn’t like mine.. and if not, then you should be really, really grateful!! LOL!! But it is what it is .. not everyone lives a fairy tale. Those who don’t just go with the flow and try to manage the damage.. at least I do!!!
Again.. thanks for stopping by. Always great to see new people!
You just described my SD
Oh No!!! We’ll have to make sure they never meet and reproduce!!! LOL!!