Archive for January, 2011

I used the last of the toilet paper after dinner.

I also used the hidden stack I keep folded between the stack of magazines on the bathroom window sill.

They don’t read.. so they’d never find it and since toilet paper runs out faster then ice cream in this house, I always make sure I keep a little bit in case of emergencies.

Can’t figure out if we use so much of it because their asses are so big or because they just use too much of it .. “waste” is a word these boys have yet to learn.

At any rate .. an hour or so after we finished eating, I made my way to the supermarket. Not only did we need toilet paper, but the dogs needed food.. the cats needed food.. and Tide was on sale.

NOTE: I will not waste Tide on their clothes. Tide will only be used on MY clothes and MY bedding because I deserve it, dammit!

So I get everything I had to get and just as I’m about to hit the check out line, my cell rings and it’s Bubba.

I haven’t actually talked to him since the blow up at dinner the other night about his school work .. and only answered it on the off chance that it was Chief.

ME: Hello?
BUBBA: Leese?

Like who else would it be?

ME: What?
BUBBA: There’s no toilet paper.
ME: I know.
BUBBA: Well, Dad said you were at the store. Are you going to buy it or something?
ME: Am I going to steal it?
BUBBA: How long to you think you’re going to be?
ME: Until I am
BUBBA: ‘Cus I’m stuck in the bathroom.
ME: I’ll get there as fast as I can.. I’m almost done.

.. and then I s.l.o.w.l.y made my way up and down every single aisle of the market again..

And every time I remembered how the slob STILL continues to leave half his piss on the floor and not wipe it up even after he’s been told a million times? I looked for something in particular and read it’s ingredients and compared the ingredients to the store brand and then compared prices and broke the price down to cents per ounce.

And when I remembered how he leaves soda bottles and soda caps all over the house.. and empty chip bags in the desk drawer and food crumbs under the desk? I went to the card aisle and read every single New Baby card trying to decide which one.. if any.. I wanted to buy.

And when I remembered how his father told him to clean all the empty bottles and dirty dishes out of the room that I just stipped down to nothing a few weeks ago and he didn’t? I read a few articles in a few different magazines and tried to figure out just how Justin Bieber gets his hair to stay that way.

Did I also mentioned I turned my phone off?

And then I went to the bathroom in the supermarket before making my to the cashier.. and sloooowly wheeled my cart to my car and gingerly loaded the bags into it before doing well below the speed limit and coming to a full stop at every stop sign until reaching home.

I then brought all the bags in the house.. conveniently forgetting the 12 pack of toilet paper that wouldn’t fit in a bag in the back of the car.

Hey.. THEY can forget everything, right? I’m allowed to once in a while!

Chief wound up telling Spaz to run out to the car and get it.. which, because it was for Bubba.. made Spaz move even SLOWER.

And I giggled the whole time.

… so after moving over the posts from my old blog to this one :: click on the Old Blog tag in the cloud on the left :: I came upon this little gem from Nov 11, 2008.

And it made me sad.

There’s a lot of buzzing going around in my head that I’m trying to figure out.. reading my old stuff made me start thinking that something has to change.

For good.. or for bad.. it has to change.

You can read it HERE if you’re bored.. or can’t sleep..

Growing up in the heart of South Philly, there was a LOT of opportunity to get into “street” trouble ..

My father was having none of that so from a very young age, my brother and I spent weekends and summers at his family’s 80 acre horse farm upstate. They were family in that “Italian” way .. not blood related but closer then close is close.

I LOVED the farm .. no matter how old you were, there was always something that had to be done and you did it from sun up to sun down.. and when dinner was finished *and if you were still awake* there were bonfires or night rides or fire works… you were outside more then you were in .. in fact, I remember not being ALLOWED IN the house until dinner time! .. some thing a lot of kids today know nothing about .. well, at least my step kids know nothing about that.. or hard work.. or making your own fun.. or a variety of other things that I don’t want to bring myself down thinking of..

I lived and breathed horses.

There’s nothing I loved more as a kid and well into adult hood.. then slapping on my Ariats.. turning the horses out.. mucking stalls.. loading bales of hay on the ‘gator’.. feeding.. grooming.. taking riders out on the trails..

You name it, I loved to do it ..

There were some real characters up there, let me tell you.. and my family led the pack.

ALL of them needed some type of Prozac.. and probably still do!

I’ve lost contact with them after I got divorced. For some reason, they sided with my ex.. probably because he was a mental head just like they are.. and I wasn’t welcome there anymore. It broke my heart and still does. My mother never understood why I would be upset .. she hated it up there. Loathed it. But funny that my mom brought it up a little bit ago when we were looking for a place upstate to move …

Yea.. it would have been nice but what are you going to do, right?


I started thinking about all those days at the ranch after having a convo with my Texas Rose Gfriend .. and how I always knew that my ass was meant to be in the country and not the city.

City life never appealed to me .. yea, I had my days at the clubs and running the streets when I was a teenager but it felt more like an anomaly more then a way of life. I’d much rather be in jeans, flannel and boots then panty hose and skirts.

Oh.. but the heels were ALWAYS near and dear to my heart!

Wasn’t giving up the heels! LoL!


Chief feels the same way about living in the country .. he HATES the city. He’s a suburban boy by birth but his dad had had a piece of property further upstate that he had built a house on and that’s where he took Chief and his brother’s .. and where they learned to hunt.. fish.. a survive in the wilderness.

Unfortunately, his mother wanted half the property when she divorced his father so he had to sell it.

What’s with taking something you hate from somebody that loves it in a divorce? I’ll never understand that!

Again, anyway ..

When trying to explain ranch life to people, I always told them that is was as easy as it was hard .. no doubt it’s hard, physical work.. but it was easy because you didn’t have to think so much …

You knew what had to be done and you did it .. complete opposite from working in an office with figures and contracts and abstracts.

Get up.. Work.. Go to sleep

Doesn’t get much easier then that!

So my heart is kind of missing that life .. missing the horses, especially.. missing getting chased by the peacocks.. watching births.. chasing down the horses when they broke free from the pens.. being covered with dirt and hay and manure ..

It was my ¬†life for a long, long time and there’s nothing wrong with missing..

Maybe one day I’ll have it back..

And when I do, I’m going to have a big ass cook out and y’all are invited!!


Posted: January 30, 2011 in Convos

Me: I want a baby …

Chief: Why??????

Me: Um… so I can show you how to do it right???

Meeting Faith

Posted: January 30, 2011 in His Family
Tags: , , ,

Earlier today I got to hang out with the newest member of our extended family, Faith.

Let me tell you, this girl is a sweetheart and it doesn’t take her long to have you wrapped around her little finger!

She’s a calm baby .. all wide eyed and interested in everything .. and doesn’t cry unless she’s hungry.

She’s already gained 2 pounds since being home and takes 4oz when feeding.

Don’t know if that’s important or impressive .. I have no idea about these things.. so I’m just sharing information here!

She likes when you laugh at her .. here eyes get all big and I swear she smiles but I don’t know if 1 week old infants smile..

I’m going to say they do..

I got hold her..

Feed her…

NOT change her crappy diaper :: some things are just a parent’s job! ::

Fold her little socks and onsies …

It was all good.

Bird and her husband are completely and utterly in love… and so am I!

They’ve both stepped up to the plate, not only where the baby is concerned but also the house and the pets, etc.

Very, very proud of them!

While they still have a long road ahead of them before Faith is officially adopted, they did find out through the courts that all they needed was a paper signed by both them and the birth mother saying that she wanted them to have Faith and a lot of red tape went away.

So for now, all is good!

And Aunt Leese can’t wait to FINALLY be able to buy girl clothes!!