… I can feel it
… Way down deep in my solar plexus
And even though one might say that I’m just being paranoid, I don’t think I am.
Yes, things are finally.. FINALLY.. going good. The shop turned a higher profit this month.. The kids are going back to school next week and they’re getting better at doing the things that they’re suppose to do. Of course, taking away the PS3 and computer access when they fuck up helps but all in all I really don’t have too much to complain about.
Heh.. well, hell I do but not something that’s getting in the way of everything else.
But here’s the thing…
Tonight Chief was later then usual getting home from the shop. When he DID get home, he had walked instead of taking the truck and stopping by the Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru. Highly unusual for him because he can’t get through the night without coffee and since our “real” coffee maker :: read as the one that you put on the stove to perc :: melted because he forget that it was perking away and he would rather DIE then drink auto-drip :: which really doesn’t make sense because like Dunkin’ Donuts doesn’t auto-drip? :: he always stops on the way home from work.
So I asked him about it and he just shrugged it off and said that he felt like walking… but I knew that that really wasn’t the case. I figured he didn’t want to say anything because Spaz was seated at the dining room table so I went into the kitchen and sure enough, he followed.
He told me that he walked home because there were two cop cars passing in front of the store as he was getting ready to leave… Now rewind a little because for the last few days, I’ve been noticing that the police are driving down my block way more then usual. There are only something like 4 cop cars in my borough so to see them as often as I have is kind of strange.
He told me that last night when he drove home he saw one car circling the block from the left and the other circling the block on the right and got the feeling that they were wanting to catch him driving.
Last week or so, he got a notification in the mail from the state that his driver’s license has been suspended because of the outcome of his court case and he believes that the police department has just received their copy. This is a small borough and because of the shop.. because of his arrest.. because of the crack whore.. because of Weed.. it’s not like they don’t know who he is.
He seems to think that they’re just waiting to catch him driving and so they’re driving around the store at closing.. and the house during the time he would usually arrive home.
It felt like there was an elephant on my chest and the only think I could say was “…. why can’t they just leave us alone.”
I can’t understand with all the bullshit that goes on in this town, they have a bullseye on his back. It’s like they are pissed off because they weren’t able to get that big headline they were looking for when they arrested him and because they know that HE knows that they lied, they’re looking for something to throw on him.
NOTE: For those who haven’t read about that whole ordeal with him being arrested, read the posts under the TRAVESTY category
Chief seems to think that they’ll move on to other people to harrass in a few weeks and everything will be back to normal and until then, he’s just going to not drive.
But I’m not so sure.
I’m worried because I’m still PTS-ing over what happened in January. If they can lie and get away with everything then, what are they going to do next? There’s no one to give me answers. There’s no one who I trust to tell me the truth about what’s really going on. And to be perfectly honest, I’m scared of getting sucked into all this.
I’m trying to think of every damn base to cover.. to anticipate what they might do and it’s making me crazy.
Of course, it’s 2:15am and he’s snoring away while my mind can’t stop racing.
I’m making mental check lists of things that I want to get done tomorrow.. like make sure this house doesn’t have one spec of dust or puddle of dog piss anywhere in case they decide to “revisit” the living conditions that are on record from January.
I need to change the burned out bulb on my rear brake light so that they don’t have a reason to stop my car when I’m driving it.
I need to cover the cracked lens with that red transparent tape so that they don’t have a reason to stop mycar when I’m driving it.
I need to fucking insure both the car and the truck. I don’t normally drive without insurance but since I was laid off and wasn’t really driving much anymore, I wanted to catch up on some outstanding bills so I let the policies lapse.
I need to tell him that I don’t think it’s such a good idea for Weed to keep coming around the store. That’s going to be a hard one to convince him to do because of that whole “father/son” thing going on but I get goose flesh everytime he walks in… and because I know he still does what he does, I don’t want him anywhere near me or Chief…
I already told him that I don’t think it’s a good idea that he carries anything on him… they may not be able to stop a person for just walking down the street without cause but again, I don’t trust them to not think of SOMETHING to stop him for.
I’m going to have to get dog’s licenses and start putting the older one on a leash, even though I am not required to have her on a leash if she’s on my property but God forbid if she takes a step on the pavement… are they going to swoop down on us?
I know this sounds ridiculous… that maybe I am being overly cautious at best.. paranoid at worst but if you lived through what I lived through then I think you’d be able to see my point.
The other thing I’m worried about is that if.. for some unknown reason.. he does get arrested again, there’s no one to turn to for bail.
I was talking to my father-in-law one day last week and he was telling me that he doesn’t like the idea of Weed always coming around the store. I told him I didn’t either and he said that he was afraid that Weed was going to get Chief in trouble again and if he did then “.. there wasn’t going to be anyone to bail him out again.”
I got the message loud and clear and I can’t say that I blame him. If Chief isn’t going to take any precautions to protect himself from the trouble that Weed causes, then why would they bail him out again?
I’m just waiting for other shoe to drop now. Because it is. I know it.
LIVING ME 101 