Posts Tagged ‘Baby’

20120715-115925.jpg

.. that being what’s happening since I last posted.
If you need to know how the baby came about… Well, either your too young to be on this blog or you have more important things you should be researching on the Internet!

Anyway… Let’s start with Wednesday night and see how far we get. Exhaustion, y’know .. And chicken pecking on the iPad…

So..

Wednesday night I come home from work and Weed’s ass is parked on my couch. Of course it is.
Because the hospital INSISTS each adult living in the house HAS to spend at least one night with the baby I have to suffer through it Wednesday into Thursday in order for him to be released.

I come home thinking I’ll take a nap before going to the hospital because I figure I’m going to be up most of the night anyway.. Why fight sleep to boot.

So I go in my room… Put on the latest episode of The Glee Project and veg out.

And no.. I didn’t take a nap because I had to watch the latest Design Star, too.

Anyway…

A little before 7, Chief comes into the bedroom and tells me that he’s going to drive Weed back to where ever it is he goes to at night.

Oh??? Um, he’s not coming to the hospital?

Chief tells me, laden with sarcasm, the Weed told him he has ” something important” to do.

Really? Because.. Um… Seeing your infant son in the hospital isn’t important?

Chief puts his hands up in the don’t-get-me-started way and I shrug.

When he comes back, I’m already packed and ready to go so we loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly… Hills, that it.. Black gold.. Texas tea…

Heh… Sorry!! Sleep deprivation kicked in!

… We loaded up the car and drive to the hospital.

On the way there I asked Chief what does someone with no job, no place to live and a withdrawing baby have to do that soooooo important.

Chief said that Weed told him he was going to hang out with his friend, the bi-sexual prostitute druggie.

Only he said her proper name and I was like.. Are you FUCKING kidding me? I’ve known this girl for years.. All the rumors I’ve heard about her then.. And now.. Are true. ALL of them… And THIS is the something important????

Chief tells me when Weed told him where he was going to he put on the breaks and pulled the car over. He said to Weed, “Let me get this straight.. You think getting wasted and screwing the bi-sexual prostitute druggie while your son is in the hospital and his mother is in jail IMPORTANT???? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR”

… and he did. Think it was important and got out of the car.

Chief was BEYOND livid… And it only got worse.

I’ll post more about what happened when the baby came home and where Weed’s been for the past three days tomorrow after I find my laptop cord..

You won’t believe it.. I don’t believe it and I’m living it..

But I will part with these words of wisdom from Chief:

Let it go. I’ve been thru this with the Crack Whore.. You’ll get aggregated because they won’t tell you the truth and you’ll know they’re not telling you the truth.. It’ll bother you way more the n it’ll bother them.. That will play itself out. He’ll either get t together, OD or wind up back in jail.. In the meantime, we have this innocent little baby that will feel everything you feel.. That’s what happened with Spaz and the baby don’t deserve that because we’re suppose to be giving him a better life.

Words to live by..

.. Just popping this post in on my Ipad so excuse the shortness!!
I promise I’ll fill you guys in shortly but the bay came home from the hospital on Thursday and since then I think I’ve gotten 2.927 hours if sleep!!!

Anyone who’s ever lived with and infant knows what I’m talking about!!

So give me a little leash to get used to my new normal and I’ll fill y’all in..

He just fell asleep so I’m going to follow his lead and hit my pillow!!

20120715-040505.jpg

<– See this?

That’s me.

Well, the PICTURE isn’t me but the sentiment is the same.

Ok.. so first things first.

The baby is still in the hospital. He’s doing well.. gaining weight and filling out nicely. I’ll tell you, his ASS is healthy!! Boy of boy can that kid fill a diaper!!

I actually haven’t seen him since last Wednesday … almost a week ago.. because running off of 2 hour sleep, toast and coffee finally caught up with me and I picked up some kind of nasty something from the hospital that kicked my ass for more then a few days.

Honestly, I needed the break to catch up on the current season of Hell’s Kitchen.

Which, BTW, even I know how to cook a freakin’ scallop!! Come on, people!! :: smh ::

But I digress..

15 days old

Chief’s been going up to the hospital and even though there is no way in hell a camera in his hand is EVER a good idea, he was able to capture this little gem.

He’s a lot more alert and even though he still can’t be disturbed between his feedings, he’ll stare intently at who ever is holding him or feeding him.

Ok..

So that’s the update.

Now..

You KNOW :: or you should by now if you read me regularly :: that there’s a reason why I’m posting this here instead of on the baby’s blog.

So this past Friday night, Chief and I went to see my godson and his girlfriend. It’s usually an every two week visit because they just moved into their own place together and I like to keep tabs on him. Plus, how cool are THEY that they want to spend their Friday nights with the old folks????

This particular Friday it was out turn to go over there place and they were awesome to have bought the baby a bunch of stuff. My godson’s girlfriend is super duper excited about the baby and a fun time was had by all.

Until the ride home.

It’s about 9pm and the phone rings. It’s Weed from prison. On a free call. Which means one thing. They released him and he needed a ride home.

You want to talk about acid reflux shooting up your throat and burning a hole through your voice box?

I’m not going to go verbatim with the convos because this is going to be a long enough post as it is… but basically, Chief told him we were in another state and couldn’t pick him and to call the Crack Whore.  And then the texting started coming fast and furious and the silence.

The silence.

The silence is the worse thing of all because I know what I’M thinking… mainly.. you better not fucking tell him.. or her.. to drop him off on my doorstep.

I can only surmise.. because of the silence.. that HE’s thinking how the hell am I going to tell Leese that he’s going to be dropped off on our doorstep?

So we drive for like, another 20 minutes or so, and he’s not saying anything and I’m not saying anything. I’m not sure what his exact words were when he finally DID say something.. but it was something to the effect of “… she hasn’t texted me back so I’m guessing she’s going to pick him up”

To which, I replied “… or do you mean she’s going to pick him up and take him to our house?”

He said he didn’t say that to which I said that I didn’t know what he was saying because he wasn’t saying anything to which he responded that his mind was all spinning at a mile a minute.

Whatever.

He went on to read the text messages between them ending with the one he sent that said he didn’t care where she took him but he can’t come to our house.

Appreciated the support there but as I told him, she does what she wants to do regardless of what anyone tells her because she gets to dump her trash on anyone’s doorstep because thinks that people who work hard for what they have should have to handle whatever shit she throws at them because after all.. she doesn’t work.. she’s basically homeless.. she doesn’t have any money.. blah blah blah fucking blah.

Anyway.. I had promised Chief’s cousin Bird that I would go with her to the hospital to see her father who had had a second major surgery in 2 weeks. She had gotten a call that he was out of recovery so she had asked if I would drive out with her. So I called her before we got home and she literally pulled up my drive way behind me. I tell Chief that I’d be back soon and away me and Bird went.

It wasn’t a long visit.. I mean, by the time we got to the hospital it was almost 11pm, but we stayed a little.. spoke with the doctor.. got the tv and phone situated and that was that.

I expected Weed to be at the house when I got home but he wasn’t. I also know how long it takes to actually be released and figured it was still a possibility that he could.

Chief was sleeping and he had the phone charging in the kitchen. I checked the text messages and there was an unanswered one from the Crack Whore asking if Weed can stay at our home for just 1 night.

I texted “NO” and went to bed.

He never did show up but Saturday morning he texted and asked what time he should come over to sign the custody papers.

FUCK.

I texted back and told him that he could come over anytime but I was low on gas and wasn’t going to pick him up. He said he’d walk over. I found out later that he had stayed over a “friend” of his’ house and so the walk was probably about 4 miles. In 98 degree heat.

Serves him right.

He asked about the baby.. was impressed with the nursery.. and the bottom line was he got lectured and talked to and lectured and talked to and lectured and talked to the whole time he was sitting on my couch.

He said all the things junkies say when confronted with their junkie-ness… how he was going to stop.. get a job.. get a place.. blah blah blah blah fucking blah. But, you know, the proof is in the pudding. And when he said that he didn’t have anything because all his clothes had been tossed by the guy he used to live with I told him that it was better to have lost nothing at 23 then to lose everything at 30.

Luckily, the guy who had given him a job before he got arrested offered to take him on again and I so I told him that he had more going for him that most people who got out of jail.

Fast forward and Chief took him to go see the baby. I couldn’t go because I was sick but I thought it was something that I didn’t need to be a part of.

A few hours passed and Chief came home.. he had dropped Weed off back in the old neighborhood where all his junkie friends spend their nights crawling under park benches getting wasted. Nice.

When asked, Chief said that Weed cried when he saw the baby and got embarrassed when the nurse said, “.. oh! you’re out of jail!”. Chief told him that everyone knew what the deal was it was what it was. I asked him if he was optimistic or pessimistic after the visit. Like OH! I have a SON! I NEED TO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER! or oh i have a son i need to get my shit together.

Chief said he was optimistic so I was like, ok.. good first step.

Sunday he walked over again early in the morning.

Sundays are usually family dinner day with my father in law.. brother in law and his wife. This Sunday Bubba showed up.

I kept my eye on Weed and Bubba because I know that Bubba is following into the drugs and alcohol foot steps of his older brother. I didn’t think he was stupid enough to bring anything to the house but I figured if they were together whispering in a corner it wouldn’t be a good thing.

Chief wind up taking Bubba along to the hospital with him and Weed. Again, I stayed home.

Chief and I drove them both back to where they wanted to go and again, I wasn’t excited about the fact that Weed wanted to get dropped off in a parking lot outside the old town we used to live in. But still.. I’m trying to be positive.

Monday comes and Weed doesn’t come over to the house. He had called earlier and told his father that he had gone to see his parole officer and then was going to the drug place to sign up for his court mandated outpatient rehab. He said he wasn’t going to come over because he didn’t feel like walking.

Nice. And your…… son?

Okay.. so maybe because he had to walk to probation (maybe) and then had to walk to rehab (maybe) he was too tired to walk to the house.

Maybe.

Personally, I would walk 100 miles if my kid was in a hospital but you know.. I’m not a junkie.

So now it’s Tuesday.

Spaz turned 14 and both his brother’s said that they would be over to help him celebrate. I wasn’t thrilled about it but it was Spaz’s birthday not mine so I was going to suck it up.

I got home from work at at 630pm and when I walked into the house, Chief was in the kitchen.. Spaz was on the couch playing a video game. And that was it. No one else.

Spaz asked if we could go to a Chinese Buffet for dinner and since Chief had to pick up a motor for the pool filter near the buffet, we decided to go. I was waiting for a moment when I could talk to Chief and that came while we were waiting in line to be seated and Spaz went off to the koi pond.

I asked Chief if he had heard from his sons. He said Bubba called Spaz earlier to wish him Happy Birthday and that Chief called and made up some excuse about not coming over. First he said he had to go to his probation officer… to which Chief said that Weed said he had gone yesterday. And then… and then came the “um.. um.. um”‘s and that he meant the rehab place. To which Chief said that Weed said he went there yesterday too.

Weed didn’t have another excuse and Chief got pissed and hung up on him.

I got just as pissed hearing this. Not that I thought anything would change.. but I thought things would change. And now it’s painfully obvious that it hasn’t because what else would he being doing hanging around his old friends in the old town?

And just in case you think I’m exaggerating .. not that I think you are.. about how much of junkie this kid is here is a picture of father and son.

Does it make you want to throw up, too?

Mind you, the baby is tiny… just barely 6 lbs and he looks huge being held by a bag of skin and bones, doesn’t he?

So now, my cautiously optimistic attitude had turned into full blow CAUTION!

Thankfully, that court papers are filled out and will be filed on Thursday morning asking the court for full custody of the baby because both his parents are junkies with no permanent home, no jobs and no way to support either themselves or a baby.

Fingers crossed that this goes through without a hitch because I have a college fund I need to start saving for.

I know … I know… I made a promise but my intentions, and the road to hell their paved on, are good!

I want to introduce you to the new man in my life:

This little man is Chief’s grandson, born 6/15 and weighing 5lbs. 8 oz and 17.5 inches long.

He was born 5 weeks premature… addicted to heroin… but for as bad as it could have been, he’s doing just fine.

Oh.. and did I happen to mention that both parents are currently in jail and have been since May 24th?

I started another blog dedicated specifically to him and the journey we’re on with him now. If we roll like that, shoot me an email and I’ll send you the link. I’m not going too public with it because their’s an infant and a whole lot of legal mess involved.

So just cruised by to share … !!

Here’s a few more:

Oh.. and PS my texaskid bestie, I can’t post from my iPad because the chicken pecking takes forever and I usually end up accidentally deleting the post!! Call me old school!! Love you!

 

Ok.

Bathroom visit? Check. Coffee refill? Double Check? Ready for this? NOT in the least.

And of course.. anything in my life that’s W.T.F. involves Weed.

Weed is now 22. Don’t know how much I caught you up on his antics but let’s just say he hasn’t changed. At all.

Back in July he caused a ruckus in front of MY family that got him kicked out of the house for good. He HAD been kicked out but for some reason had thought it was okay to stumble into the house at 2am and sleep off whatever had him wrecked in the first place.

He would either stay at the Crack Whore’s or the Crack House (both are the same in my opinion) and then in September he got arrested for shoplifting a lipstick for his skank ho girlfriend.

Thank landed him in the pokey for a month because no one who had 200.00 bucks would put it up for his bail.

He got out in October and did come over to the new house for a “family” (cough cough) dinner.

I didn’t want him here.. didn’t want Bubba here either.. but I’m not going to be the one blamed for Chief not seeing his sons. So dinner there was.. and dinner they ate.. and back to the Crack Whore’s house they went. The whole thing lasted about 3 hours.

Thank GOD for small favors.

At any rate..

A week before Thanksgiving Chief gets a phone call from Weed who tells him that he and his skank ho girlfriend have a “problem”.

Heh.. we all know what that “problem” is, don’t we?

Come on!!

Guess!!

Turns out the the skank ho girlfriend was ALSO in jail the same time Weed was. She got locked up the same time he did for the whole lipstick thing. OBVIOUSLY no one bailed her out either so OBVIOUSLY she’s not a good girl dabbling on the dark side. Turns out SHE is just as bad as HE is when it comes to popping pills, sticking needles in her arm and spending time in the pokey.

And now these two junkie low lives are breeding.

Nice.

Real Nice.

NOT being the biological parent.. and with my feet firmly planted in reality.. I IMMEDIATELY start thinking about the phone calls about the baby needing diapers.. needing formula.. needing a ride to the doctors.. etc. etc. etc. .. and I started getting pissed.

Chief.. who rides unicorns in clouds of cotton candy and farts glitter.. wasn’t down with the situation but a piece of him, I think, was a little gaga over the fact that there was going to be a baby around.

I say that because HE wasn’t understanding MY concerns. And they are concerns because even though I believe every baby is a blessing regardless of it’s misfortune of being conceived by junkies.. I know that I am the only one supporting this household right now. Chief hasn’t worked since forever and I’ve been working my ass off to not only get out of a financial hole but to get our lives back to normal.

And I am not about to backslide because the toxic twins decided to steal a lipstick instead of a condom.

Also, considering everything this kid put me through the last two years.. all the disrespect, name calling, theft of things I could never replace.. the anguish.. the attitude.. you name it.. you really think I’m all down for supporting something HE created?

I know that sounds mean.. I know that it isn’t the baby’s fault.. but I also know me and I also know how far back I’ve leaned .. how much I’ve let slide.. and as of RIGHT FRIGGIN’ NOW.. I’m bitter and resentful that Chief doesn’t have my back on this one.

End. Rant.

So fast forward to the beginning of December. Since no one is talking about anything that matters, I decide I’m going to stalk Facebook and see if I can find anything out.

We’re not “friends” .. but I am friends with someone he is friends with so I jump over to Weed’s wall. Nothing of interest. Oh, that’s right.. the Crack Whore didn’t pay the cable bill so the internet was cut. But then I see who he’s in a relationship with and let’s just say there’s a reason why I call her a skank ho.

This was early on a Thursday morning.. something like 3am. Her last post was something that I took as abortion guilt. Something about how murders deserve to be in jail and apologies for not allowing he/she to live long enough to decide whether it lived or died.

Listen, she’s a junkie. Do you really expect her to make sense?

When Chief gets up I tell him that I don’t think there’s a baby any more.

He… HE!!!.. tells me that the skank ho girlfriend od’d over the past weekend and that they took Weed in for questioning.

Um.

Wait.

EXCUSE ME?

You knew for FOUR days and you didn’t tell me WHY??

He said he found out from Spaz the previous Sunday when he picked him up from the Crack Whore’s and that he was soooo livid that he wanted to find Weed and beat the crap out of him.. and then he just wanted to put it out of his mind because he was so enflamed.

Good job on THAT one, Bucky.

I was beyond pissed. Not the first time that he hasn’t told me things that I think he should since we’re married and in a relationship and I support him and his kid’s simple asses.

But whatever.

At this point, I don’t know whether she’s dead or alive.. don’t know if Weeds’ in jail or not.. don’t know if she lost the baby because she od’d or od’d because she aborted the baby.

I let it go because they’re ALL pissing me off.

Fast forward two weeks and we have Chief’s twin brother Sarge and his wife over for dinner. I hear the three of them talking in the kitchen about Weed and I hear Chief say that Weed needs to live in a box for a while so he can get his shit together and be a productive member of society.

I stay firmly parked next to my fireplace. Let them talk. They’re all very good at talking ABOUT someone’s situation instead of talking TO someone about their situation. IF they talk at all, that is. Communication is NOT key with Chief or in his side of the family.

About an hour or so goes by and Sarge’s wife enters my personal space near the fireplace and asks me when the skank ho girlfriend is due. I tell her I didn’t think she still was and went into what I just went into above. She asked me what I was going to do about it.. and I looked at her like she ate too many candy canes off my Christmas tree.

I am doing NOTHING about it.. and went into the same thing I went into above.

She rambled something about getting stuff off Craigslist and if they want to be the knights in shining armor then more power to them. That’s how they roll.. come into a situation waving wads of cash.. offering this .. offering that.. all so they can say that THEY did something and Chief did not.

People: Now your significant other’s family before they become your significant other. Word.

So at this point.. two weeks before the Christmas dinner that his sons and the skank ho are attending, I have no clue whether or not there’s a baby.

I found out on Christmas.

When the Toxic Twins came over so freakin’ wrecked out of their minds.. and I’ve never felt so uncomfortable or so disrespected in my own home.

She’s running around the house .. jumping on my furniture.. saying how her baby is now exactly 11 weeks old and her name is whatever she said it’s name was going to be.

Weed couldn’t even verbalize:

ME: Where you working?
WEED: jdkagerj;f v irtdsf uaejrksdl  TRANSLATION: no.. but I’m trying
ME: So… you’re not working?
WEED: yifk gtreja gh;yi rfck vjitm vj TRANSLATION: i’m putting applications in
ME: So.. your not working.. have no money.. no place to live.. a baby on the way.. so how exactly were you able to get wrecked?

OR THIS CONVERSATION

WEED: sfgktkdf jto ih twy jtrfsd gab jdfkl hyt  TRANSLATION: when is your landlord going to clean out that spare room?
ME: None of your business because you’re not moving in here. Need me to say it slower?

OR THIS ONE AFTER HE SCRAPPED HIS PLATE IN TO THE DOGS’ WATER BOWL

WEED: siugjarf agt adiotrjfdkalfj adty   TRANSLATION: haha.. i’m as blind as  a bat
ME: No, you’re as high as a fucking kite.

Now, let me just add here that sometimes I have to be careful about my feelings. I don’t like these two so they could save a bag of puppies from drowning and I’d find fault with it. But since my  mother and Chief’s father were both a witness to this.. and saw the same things I saw and felt the same way I felt, I was justified in telling Chief after everyone was at their own houses that I did not want them back in my house anymore. Wasn’t happening. Wasn’t going to be disrespected or feel uncomfortable in the house that I’M paying for.

He got me. And to his credit, he had the good sense to be just as upset and pissed off as I was. For the moment anyway. Chief lets things go. I don’t. I’m Italian.

And then the straw that broke my camel’s back happened Wednesday.

Again, via Facebook, I found out that the Toxic Twins are planning to get married.

WEED: udf gafjdkgh rito afdjkg ja    TRANSLATION: it’s the honorable thing to do
SKANK HO:  fafidg  grh jthr gankdl khji tuera hd     TRANLSATION: i love my boos.

Chief had surprised me by coming up to work with lunch that day. As I sat in the car I asked him if he is ever in communication with his son OR his ex regarding the baby. He makes a face.. shakes his head and says ‘nope’.

So again.. I tell him what I saw on Facebook and he non-chalantly says “oh, yea.. Weed told me he proposed on Christmas day and I just blew it off”.

Nice. REAL Nice.

Once again.. I felt like I was kept out of the loop. Once again, I felt like we’re supposedly in a relationship where we’re suppose to be best friends and we’re suppose to support each other.. be shoulder to shoulder .. right?

OBVIOUSLY, I’m the only one who thought that.

Because APPARENTLY it’s a relationship where what’s mine is his and that’s just about fucking it.

So now here’s the thing.

If there’s one thing I know for sure is that I know how I am. It takes me a loooong time to turn my back but once it’s turned it stays that way. Once may feelings change.. they’re changed. Once I change my opinion of someone.. it’s changed.

And all the above happened.

So now I patiently wait until midnight where we tell each other our new year’s resolutions.. and I tell him that I don’t want to know about anything about anyone that doesn’t live under my roof.. don’t ask me for anything.. don’t tell me about anything.. don’t feed them food that I bought.. don’t invite them into a home that I pay for.. I don’t want to know or be a part of baby showers or wedding receptions or baptisms or births.

Done.. Over.. I’m Out..