2011: The Good.. The Bad.. The WTF!!!

… I know, I know!! It’s been far too long since I had the opportunity to just sit and blog. I should just MAKE the time but it’s the same old.. same old.. life happens, yknow?

Anyway..

I promise I will commit.. at least right NOW I promise to commit. You have to agree I need a reality show so just go easy on me!! LoL!!

Now.. back to it.

In the time honored tradition of ME101 .. let’s recap 2011

I may need a valium for this!

Okay.. the good stuff first:

After living without electricity for close to five months, we were finally able to move into The House Of My Almost Dreams. I say “almost” because we’re renting.. if I was paying a mortgage instead of rent well then.. you get the idea! But believe me, we were truly blessed to find this house. It was everything I was looking for LAST year when we thought we were moving to West Virginia.

But I think I told you all this already.

On-set Alzheimer’s. Throw me a bone, here.

Spaz started a new school and he actually has a friend. A NORMAL friend… well, as normal as anyone who would want to hang around Spaz can be. They’re kind of like the two misfits in the lunch room who sit with eachother because there is no one else to sit with. Believe me, I’m not being sarcastic. But his friend is a nice boy. Respectful and friendly. Lives close by and they even joined a school club together. Who am I to complain? It’s a step up. Believe me.

Spaz has also become a little LESS spazzy since we moved.. not ready for another nickname yet but he’s a lot better then he was so kudos to him. Being around his brothers is a WHOLE other story.. but we’ve addressed it. Told him that his attitude doesn’t get a free pass anymore because he doesn’t realize he has an attitude after spending time with them and that will be the end of it.

Did it sink in? Time will tell.

I did go back to work in May. Loving the job.. loving an actual paycheck now.. the company was sold to another company in October but so far there isnt anything to worry about. For now. But when God closes one door another opens so I’m just riding the “see what happens” wave.

My aunt bought another car and gave me her old one. It’s about 10 years old but still in great condition. The reduced rent made carrying another car on my insurance possible so now we’re actually using less gas because Chief doesn’t have to drive me to work and then pick me up. Bonus.

There may not be very many GOODS this year.. but what was GOOD is VERY VERY GOOD so I’m extremely blessed.

Now for the BAD..

When we moved out of our old house, the old landlord became very shady about giving us back out 2700.00 security deposit. Even though he gives slumlords a good name, he was fair to us when we needed him to be (think paying rent on time) and so we offered every opportunity to be fair to him. The security was suppose to be held in escrow but everybody and their mother with distant relatives knew that he didn’t have it available when he was suppose to. And if he would have just called us and told us that, we would have been cool but he decided to ignore phone calls, set up appointments for the final walk through that he didn’t keep, ignored more phone calls and then tried to pull a pile of crap out of his ass so we had to file a civil suit against him.

According to Pennsylvania’s Landlord / Tenant Act, if he didn’t return the security OR a list of deductions with the balance of the security within 30 days then he has to give us everything back. If we sued him for the original amount, he can’t counter sue us. If we sued him for double the amount (which we could) then he could counter for up to the original amount only. Either way, we walk out with the security.

We’re not greedy. We’re only suing for the original amount.

After he was notified, he sent us a certified letter outlining all the thing that we were responsible for (excuse me while I choke on complete fabrication) along with wanting to get paid for November’s rent. We were out of the house by November 1st. He’s clawing at straws. Either he really does think he has a case OR he never dealt with tenants who are actually literate and know how to read laws.

Either way, watch what happens.

The worst thing that happened this year.. actually the two worse things.. happened fairly recently and destroyed my heard.

Al .. one of our cats .. decided she wanted to be a complete outdoor cat when we moved. At the old house, she was outside 90% of the time but once we moved she decided there were far too many interesting things at the new place to waste time indoors. She stayed on the property.. had her condo on the front porch.. always had fresh food and water.. and was a happy camper.

The Saturday before Christmas Eve, Chief and I had returned in the late morning from shopping. As we turned in the driveway, Chief saw Al curled up at the bottom of the driveway.. dead. He rushed me into the house before I completely burst into tears and buried her under the japanese maple tree on our front lawn.

She wasn’t hit by a car.. and he had seen her early in the morning doing her morning yoga stretches on the front porch and she was fine. Beyond being upset, we were completely puzzled until the guy who exterminates my office building said it sounded like she had gotten into antifreeze.

Made sense.

The weather had gotten colder and I’m sure there were people in the neighborhood that put antifreeze in their cars and maybe spilled some.. hell, I could have spilled some. I don’t know.. but I sincerely doubt it was intentional. It’s just one of those horrible, hurtful things. The exterminator said that animals can’t resist antifreeze because it smells so sweet and that it can kill them in as little as 2 hours.

So let that be a lesson..

Al had had a litter of 6 kittens back in May. We kept one that we just started calling “Retard”. It’s a long story and if you’re offended then .. what can I tell you. My sandbox. But the name fit her and she was the most loving, friendly, comical, prettiest kitten you ever wanted to see.

The picture doesn’t do her justice.

She was more like a puppy, actually.. especially when I would come home from work and she would run to the door with the dogs to greet me.

About a month after we moved into the new house, she got out.

She used to follow Chief outside when he would be out there chopping wood or doing whatever.. but this time she went out the bedroom window and never came back.

We did everything that owners of lost kittens are suppose to do but nothing. Honestly, she is probably living large in someone’s house. She had no fear of people and if she wandered into someone’s yard, she would have went right to them.

that’s what I’m telling myself so don’t burst my bubble. I know everything I did wrong so you don’t have to bring that up either and it’s breaking my heart just typing this so I’m going to leave it alone.

So now we’re down to three dogs.. 1 cat.. and I pity the husband that tries to bring another animal into this house!! LoL

Now for the W.T.F!!

Believe me.. it deserves it’s own post so I’m going to run to the bathroom.. get a cup of coffee.. and set to typing!

Knock.. Knock… Guess Who’s Back!!!

… and boy has it been a while!!

So where do I begin? I guess I should start with where I’m at now and work back to how I got here and if that in itself isn’t a testament to what faith does for one, then honestly I don’t know what would.

Ok.

RIGHT NOW:

We moved into a new house this weekend. Same area but better town. This is the kind of place we were looking all over Pennsyl-tuckey and West Virginia to find. Small secluded house.. wood burning fireplace.. long drive way.. large, fenced in yard.. way cheaper rent.

It looks bigger on Google Earth but this kind of gives you a rough idea:

Red Line = the entire property

Blue Line = the house (front porch, enclosed back porch and florida room)

Yellow Line = the driveway

Green Line = the in-ground pool and deck

Now don’t let the green eyed monster start to attack. We’ve been going through hell and high water since April and after a lot.. and I mean A LOT of prayer.. this place kind of fell in our laps.

The owner is moving to another state to be near her daughter and turns out that she wasn’t going to be able to take her dog with her. And like our prayer was answered when we found her house, HER prayers were answered when we told her we’d keep her dog .. a beautiful lab/setter/coon hound mix who is so laid back, gentle and quiet you don’t even know he’s around. Pics of him to come later.

BACK THEN:

If you read the last few posts you know that I was having issues with powers that be in the old town we lived in. I realize now that there issue wasn’t so much that we had had a generator but that we were sustaining on our own. We didn’t need anyone and weren’t looking for hand outs and that bothered them.

When we couldn’t have the generator anymore, we started using car batteries for electricity. I know how that sounds and I’ll have to elaborate at a later time but basically we had car batteries that kept our lives fairly normal.

NOTE: Fairly normal meaning fairly normal for us. We are SO not traditionally normal!!

We had internet.. could charge the laptop, cell phone, ipods, etc.. we even watched tv although not for long stretches. We had light via rechargable camping lanterns or oil lamps.. cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner on a camping stove and took hot showers daily by using propane. We food shopped daily and what we could store for short periods, we did so using coolers.

And look.. yes, it was frustrating at times especially during the summer when the heat index hit 104.. but we cooled the house down the old fashioned way and used 12v fans connected to car batteries at night and on those days when we thought the dogs health was in jeopardy, we got a hotel room and snuck them in for the night.

But it is one thing to try and stay cool during the summer and another to keep warm during the winter. We knew we would have to move before the cold weather started and thanks to God, we were able to.

Now we have electricity and I can’t begin to tell you the joy of buying a gallon of milk again.. or frozen vegetables!!

The whole electricity issue wasn’t the only reason why we moved.. the house we were in was literally falling apart. The roof has so many leaks.. the basement still floods.. and the landlord still isn’t doing anything about it. Mind you, we were paying 1400.00 a month and the junkies in the ghetto were living better. So yea.. time to move on.

A few other things going on with the usual suspects:

Chief has some kind of health thing going on. He was hospitalized for a week over Memorial Day weekend but after every single test known to man, they couldn’t find out what was wrong with him. He’s still having issues and was back in the ER yesterday morning in more pain then I’ve ever seen him in. Luckily.. if there is such a thing.. it was only a kidney stone trying to pass through his system. I’ll save the whole “size” jokes until after he feels a little better.

Spaz shot up a few inches and isn’t shaped like a beach ball any longer. He turned 13 over the summer and seems to have matured a little. That or he’s away from the influence of his two older brothers. I have to say that he did take not having electricity better then I thought he would. He got frustrated at times.. but we all did. He likes the new house and so far he’s been diligent on keeping his room clean and not leaving dishes in the sink. Ok.. so we’ve only been here TWO days. I can be delusional, can’t I?

Haven’t seen or heard anything from Bubba since he walked out of the house back in February because he didn’t want to go back to school. Nothing. Not a word, song or dance. Father’s day came and went.. Chief’s birthday came and went.. nada. Funny thing is about 2 weeks before Chief went into the hospital, the Crack Whore told him Bubba would have to come back and live at Chateau Ghetto for a while because she *cough cough* had to move into her pimp’s boyfriend’s mother’s house and there was no room for him.

Heh. Yea. That was NOT going to happen.

I basically told Chief that I wasn’t going to stand in the way BUT I reminded him of everything Bubba did and I was not going to be housed under the same roof as him. I’d gladly go stay at Cousin Bird’s for the duration. I wasn’t being manipulative. I was being honest.

Just so happened that Chief was in the hospital when she was beating her rent and moving into Momma Pimps’ house and I oh so gladly snipped that little plan. And, of course, the first time the boyfriend flexed his pimp hand all the text messages started about how Bubba needed to stay at our place.. he was homeless.. blah blah blah. The reality was that the Crack Whore’s parents would have gladly taken her and Bubba in but they required her to NOT run the streets and stay home and parent her son.

Heh. Yea. Right.

Of course I know that all her over-elaborated stories were just figments of a drug riddled mind and Bubba stayed out of my house.

Weed is another story all together.

After completely disrespecting me and his father at one of my family member’s July 4th BBQ’s, Chief finally kicked him to the curb for good. Guess being called a fucking cock sucker in front of people he admired and respected was Chief’s breaking point. So Weed slithered back to the crack den he had been staying when he previously disappeared for weeks at a time and about a month after that called Chief’s twin brother Sarge asking if he can stay there.  Sarge agreed. Mainly because he always tries to shove in Chief’s face that he can provide better for his kids then Chief can.

Sarge has NO clue.

The day after.. or maybe two days after Weed went to live with him.. we were at an engagement party where Sarge and his wife showed up. She brought up the fact that Weed called them for help and I gave her the whole entire lowdown. Not the sob story she had been told. Her eyes got a little wider and you could see the wheels spinning but she’s too self absorbed being righteous to admit they had made a mistake. She insisted they were going to make him get a job. Yea. Good luck on that.

But Weed, being Weed, it didn’t take long for him to find himself back in the pokey for stealing a lipstick from a local drug store chain. In fact, the Crack Whore (ever the optimist .. snort.. ) remarked that it was “only” lipstick and he was just trying to impress his girlfriend.

Considering that the girlfriend also resides in the town we just moved out of, I’m assuming she would not have been impressed had Weed had a job and actually BOUGHT her lipstick.

At any rate.. no one posted the 500.00 bail and he spent a month in county jail. He’s out now, camped out on the Crack Whore’s sofa until the next time he gets arrested.

In better news.. I was finally able to find a job in May. The company I work for is BEYOND awesome. It’s doing what I’ve done before and I kicked ass from day one. The pay is great.. the bonus’ are awesome and I couldn’t be happier. Except .. it’s me we’re talking about here.. I just found out last week that the company was sold to a bigger company based down south so I may not have a job again.

Sucks. I know. I can’t tell you how many sleepless nights I’ve had. Well… yes I can.. every damn night since I found out.

What else?

Oh.

OMG!

How could I forget!!

We finally got our RV back from where we left her in West Virginia in January. Not that it was any easier getting her back here. We drove out there on a Friday and reached her at around 3am. Nobody touched her.. she started right up.. and no four legged creatures had made her it’s home. She did have more water damage from sitting in the snow and rain but we were able to catch a few hours sleep. About 20 miles into the ride to the campsite we were going to stay over at, the brakes seized and she wound up having to go to a mechanic. Very long story short for right now. We left her.. spent the night in a cabin at the campsite anyway and returned the 7 hours to our end of Pennsylvania on Sunday… only to do the whole trip over again the following weekend.

The first time we took the RV west, we drove through two blizzards. This time driving her east, we traveled through 3 torrential thunderstorms.

And you wonder why my hair is grey?

But now she’s parked safely in a storage yard around the corner from our house so all is good for her.

We also added an additional to the existing zoo that lives under our roof. Back in May, Al the cat we thought was a boy that turned out to be a girl became a woman when she had kittens. Six to be exact. We wound up keeping one, named Retard, because if you watched her you’d know that she just fits right in with this dysfunctional family! She is adorable though. Pics of her coming along with a Pages update.

So that’s what’s been going on here.. I apologize for skipping out for a while but it was unavoidable.. Now that I’m back to living like a normal person, I’ll be posting more..

What have y’all been up to and catch me up on things I’ve missed!!

Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy Lives THE Life

My little baby boy isn’t a baby anymore!

Ernie turned 3 on December 26th so he’s no longer a puppy but he IS still a terrorist.. especially when it comes to my pillows or anything with stuffing.

But he’s very much Mommy’s baby..

In fact, the only thing I have to say is “… whoooo’s thhheee BAAAAYYYbeeee” and he jumps up in my arms, throws himself backwards like he’s an infant.

Doesn’t matter how rambunctious he is.. as soon as I say it BAM! And you can just hear his little cartoon voice saying, “.. I AM the Baby!! I AM!!”

Yes, we do have cartoon voices for our dogs.  Ernie’s is a high pitched little boy’s voice and Bella’s sounds like Queen Elizabeth. No lie. We’re weird.

I wasn’t in the market for another dog that day 3 January’s ago when I walked into the kitchen, half groggy, and Chief whispered “PUPPIES!” in my ear!

Yes! Yes! PUPPIES!! PUPPIES!! PUPPIES!!

It takes sooooo little to make me loose my mind!

Chief wanted Spaz to have a dog.. one that would be his best friend.. who would give him unconditional love.

That didn’t happen because Spaz didn’t want to put the time in to bond with Ernie. As soon as it became inconvenient, Spaz didn’t want anything to do with them. One reason why people should really think long and hard before getting a puppy. Hmph.

But Ernie wasn’t going to lack in the love department.. between ME the queen of dogs and Chief, who melts faster then butter in heat when it comes to the dogs, Ernie became well.. THE BAAAAYYYBBBBEEEE.

My fault.

I own it.

But look at that face!! How can you resist?

And yes, he’s a vocal, neurotic mess. But he’ll never have to worry about some one else trying to understand him and his language.

Because make no mistake.. this dog TALKS.

He also HAS to sleep under the covers. He’s never figured out that he can’t get under the covers when he stands on them.. but that’s when he gets obnoxious and tells us that he wants under.

And then does the 3 turn ritual before finally laying down behind the crook of either of our knees. Waits 5 minutes and then crawls out because he’s hot. This goes on about 4 or 5 times before Chief yells at him and he dives under the bed with his ears back.

Why am I posting about Ernie?

Sleep deprivation?

Lack of caffeine?

Boredom?

All of the above?

LOL .. I have no idea. He’s such a cuddle monkey that when he came in from the freezing rain he couldn’t wait to get all warm and cozy next to Mommy.

And just so you know…

I’m not one of those in people that think their dogs are kids. I’m fully aware that my dogs are dogs and treat them like dogs… I don’t put clothes on them.. don’t put bows in their hair or paint their nails.

But they have my heart..

We think that the reason why Ernie is SO OBNOXIOUSLY attached is because he was taken from his mama too young.. make sense.. he was sort of like a duckling imprinting on the first thing he sees.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.. because Ernie (and Bella!!) are to me what he was suppose to be for Spaz.

An ear to vent to.. cuddles for comfort.. company when lonely.. and goofy giggles.

Two days before Christmas, Ernie and Bella got out of the house while me and Chief were food shopping.

The front door hadn’t been closed properly and when the high winds blew open the screen door, the front door opened also.

Ernie, being Ernie darted out.

Bella, being Bella, followed.

We didn’t know how long they were missing and had no clue which direction they went.

I was literally heart sick for two very different reasons.

Bella is old.. almost 15 and gimpy. She wouldn’t be able to get far physically but I was worried that trying to keep up with Ernie she would collapse.. maybe get hit by a car.. or the trolley .. or have a heart attack.

Ernie, being young and spy could have been in Oregon for all I knew.

The fear was crippling.. I understand how parents feel when their kid doesn’t come home. We literally ran all over the town looking for them.

Spaz finally found them, literally across the street in the cemetery. When I got the call that they were home, I sat on the one of the neighborhood curbs and thanked God with everything I had in me.

And I have absolutely no clue why I’m going into all this.. exhaustion I guess.. and maybe because both dogs are loudly snoring next to my bed and it’s the most comforting sound.

2011 Intentions

I don’t do “resolutions” but when I read somewhere about someone making “intentions” because it’s less pressure I was like THAT’S IT!!

NOTE: Apologies to who ever I stole that from.. it may have been from a blog or on Facebook.. maybe even Bethenny Frankle’s twitter.. not sure so sorry for forgetting!

Anyway..

So I know with the New Year, it’s a good time to reflect, take stock and make the changes in your life that will make you a better, healthier person so I thought that I’d share mine with you.

IN 2011, LEESE INTENTS TO:

• Invent a gadget that prevents the bathroom door from opening unless the toilet is flushed. Being the only person in the house without a dangling thing makes this necessary!
• Not eat the whole bag of Stacy’s Parmaesan and Garlic Pita Chips. Frankly, it doesn’t take long to kill a bag and while they are way more then delicious, what they do to the back end on the way out isn’t pretty. Nothing is worth feeling that bad over.
• Be more conscience on how I act, what I say or things that I do representing my faith. This is a serious one, I know, but as I get older and face the things I have to face, I realize how important Christ is and more importantly, where I would be without Him. Rather, where I wouldn’t be.
• Not curse so much. It isn’t lady-like!
• Not make fun of Chief and his obsession with reading the Drudge Report and watching REAL! LIVE! UFO VIDEOS! on You Tube.
• Not roll my eyes when Chief tells me of yet another state where millions of dead birds fell from the sky. Really… no! seriously!
• Keep the back seat of my car clean. It doesn’t bode well when I try to get the kids to clean their rooms and they tell me that my car looks like a homeless person lives in it.
• Not forget to feed the fish. Those poor fish.
• Cuddle more with Bella. The old girl is getting up in years and with all the attention that Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy and the cats get, I really don’t want her to feel left out. Although she’s probably more then happy to just eat, sleep and poop without the having to pretend she’s excited that I’m sitting on the floor next to her keeping her from sleeping.
• Not quote lines from the Real Housewive’s franchise.
• Stop justifying polygamy to Chief. Not that I would ever want to practice it, mind you.. but really, how awesome would it be to have a sister wife to do the laundry.. another to do the cleaning.. another to do the ironing.. another to clean the *gag* bathroom.. you get the idea!! LOL
• Learn more about Dr. Who then Chief does.. and he knows A LOT!!!
• Continuing writing all my blogs.. and play less Zuma Blast on Facebook. Ok. No.. I don’t think I can do that!

So that’s what I came up with so far. As me in a month and I’ll let you know how it’s going!

But you know.. Stacy’s Parmesan and Garlic Pita Chips sound awwwwffuuullly good right now!!

Not All Bald Pussies Are Pretty…

R O F L M M F A O !!!!

Ok..

I’m sorry…

I just HAD to do it!!!

I was over my cousin Bird’s house earlier because she has a new addition to her family .. beside KeyKey on the left here… she rescued a year + some months Rottie named Caser.

Caser

That’s him on the right.

He’s a big ‘ol baby of a pup that was never played with before and was kept primarily in a crate.

Horrible, isn’t it?

So now he joins Chyna, a Shar Pei .. Vallia, a Dojo Argentino.. Bella, a MinPin.. and cats KeyKey, and two other cats that for the life of me, I can’t remember their names.

Bird is like one of those hoarders on A&E .. but instead of hoarding plastic bags and McDonald’s wrappers, she hoards animals!! LOL!!

While I was over there.. the three cats were climbing all over me and the four dogs were all wrestling around my feet and all of a sudden there was this STENCH!! It smelled like the bowels of hell opened right in the center of Bird’s living room.

ME: Ok!! Which one of you puppies farted????

BIRD: Oh. That was me. I have really, really bad gas!!

OMG.. it was hysterical!!!

Hug your puppies tight tonight.. there are a lot of them out there that are just longing for a home.