Posts Tagged ‘Custody’

<– See this?

That’s me.

Well, the PICTURE isn’t me but the sentiment is the same.

Ok.. so first things first.

The baby is still in the hospital. He’s doing well.. gaining weight and filling out nicely. I’ll tell you, his ASS is healthy!! Boy of boy can that kid fill a diaper!!

I actually haven’t seen him since last Wednesday … almost a week ago.. because running off of 2 hour sleep, toast and coffee finally caught up with me and I picked up some kind of nasty something from the hospital that kicked my ass for more then a few days.

Honestly, I needed the break to catch up on the current season of Hell’s Kitchen.

Which, BTW, even I know how to cook a freakin’ scallop!! Come on, people!! :: smh ::

But I digress..

15 days old

Chief’s been going up to the hospital and even though there is no way in hell a camera in his hand is EVER a good idea, he was able to capture this little gem.

He’s a lot more alert and even though he still can’t be disturbed between his feedings, he’ll stare intently at who ever is holding him or feeding him.


So that’s the update.


You KNOW :: or you should by now if you read me regularly :: that there’s a reason why I’m posting this here instead of on the baby’s blog.

So this past Friday night, Chief and I went to see my godson and his girlfriend. It’s usually an every two week visit because they just moved into their own place together and I like to keep tabs on him. Plus, how cool are THEY that they want to spend their Friday nights with the old folks????

This particular Friday it was out turn to go over there place and they were awesome to have bought the baby a bunch of stuff. My godson’s girlfriend is super duper excited about the baby and a fun time was had by all.

Until the ride home.

It’s about 9pm and the phone rings. It’s Weed from prison. On a free call. Which means one thing. They released him and he needed a ride home.

You want to talk about acid reflux shooting up your throat and burning a hole through your voice box?

I’m not going to go verbatim with the convos because this is going to be a long enough post as it is… but basically, Chief told him we were in another state and couldn’t pick him and to call the Crack Whore.  And then the texting started coming fast and furious and the silence.

The silence.

The silence is the worse thing of all because I know what I’M thinking… mainly.. you better not fucking tell him.. or her.. to drop him off on my doorstep.

I can only surmise.. because of the silence.. that HE’s thinking how the hell am I going to tell Leese that he’s going to be dropped off on our doorstep?

So we drive for like, another 20 minutes or so, and he’s not saying anything and I’m not saying anything. I’m not sure what his exact words were when he finally DID say something.. but it was something to the effect of “… she hasn’t texted me back so I’m guessing she’s going to pick him up”

To which, I replied “… or do you mean she’s going to pick him up and take him to our house?”

He said he didn’t say that to which I said that I didn’t know what he was saying because he wasn’t saying anything to which he responded that his mind was all spinning at a mile a minute.


He went on to read the text messages between them ending with the one he sent that said he didn’t care where she took him but he can’t come to our house.

Appreciated the support there but as I told him, she does what she wants to do regardless of what anyone tells her because she gets to dump her trash on anyone’s doorstep because thinks that people who work hard for what they have should have to handle whatever shit she throws at them because after all.. she doesn’t work.. she’s basically homeless.. she doesn’t have any money.. blah blah blah fucking blah.

Anyway.. I had promised Chief’s cousin Bird that I would go with her to the hospital to see her father who had had a second major surgery in 2 weeks. She had gotten a call that he was out of recovery so she had asked if I would drive out with her. So I called her before we got home and she literally pulled up my drive way behind me. I tell Chief that I’d be back soon and away me and Bird went.

It wasn’t a long visit.. I mean, by the time we got to the hospital it was almost 11pm, but we stayed a little.. spoke with the doctor.. got the tv and phone situated and that was that.

I expected Weed to be at the house when I got home but he wasn’t. I also know how long it takes to actually be released and figured it was still a possibility that he could.

Chief was sleeping and he had the phone charging in the kitchen. I checked the text messages and there was an unanswered one from the Crack Whore asking if Weed can stay at our home for just 1 night.

I texted “NO” and went to bed.

He never did show up but Saturday morning he texted and asked what time he should come over to sign the custody papers.


I texted back and told him that he could come over anytime but I was low on gas and wasn’t going to pick him up. He said he’d walk over. I found out later that he had stayed over a “friend” of his’ house and so the walk was probably about 4 miles. In 98 degree heat.

Serves him right.

He asked about the baby.. was impressed with the nursery.. and the bottom line was he got lectured and talked to and lectured and talked to and lectured and talked to the whole time he was sitting on my couch.

He said all the things junkies say when confronted with their junkie-ness… how he was going to stop.. get a job.. get a place.. blah blah blah blah fucking blah. But, you know, the proof is in the pudding. And when he said that he didn’t have anything because all his clothes had been tossed by the guy he used to live with I told him that it was better to have lost nothing at 23 then to lose everything at 30.

Luckily, the guy who had given him a job before he got arrested offered to take him on again and I so I told him that he had more going for him that most people who got out of jail.

Fast forward and Chief took him to go see the baby. I couldn’t go because I was sick but I thought it was something that I didn’t need to be a part of.

A few hours passed and Chief came home.. he had dropped Weed off back in the old neighborhood where all his junkie friends spend their nights crawling under park benches getting wasted. Nice.

When asked, Chief said that Weed cried when he saw the baby and got embarrassed when the nurse said, “.. oh! you’re out of jail!”. Chief told him that everyone knew what the deal was it was what it was. I asked him if he was optimistic or pessimistic after the visit. Like OH! I have a SON! I NEED TO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER! or oh i have a son i need to get my shit together.

Chief said he was optimistic so I was like, ok.. good first step.

Sunday he walked over again early in the morning.

Sundays are usually family dinner day with my father in law.. brother in law and his wife. This Sunday Bubba showed up.

I kept my eye on Weed and Bubba because I know that Bubba is following into the drugs and alcohol foot steps of his older brother. I didn’t think he was stupid enough to bring anything to the house but I figured if they were together whispering in a corner it wouldn’t be a good thing.

Chief wind up taking Bubba along to the hospital with him and Weed. Again, I stayed home.

Chief and I drove them both back to where they wanted to go and again, I wasn’t excited about the fact that Weed wanted to get dropped off in a parking lot outside the old town we used to live in. But still.. I’m trying to be positive.

Monday comes and Weed doesn’t come over to the house. He had called earlier and told his father that he had gone to see his parole officer and then was going to the drug place to sign up for his court mandated outpatient rehab. He said he wasn’t going to come over because he didn’t feel like walking.

Nice. And your…… son?

Okay.. so maybe because he had to walk to probation (maybe) and then had to walk to rehab (maybe) he was too tired to walk to the house.


Personally, I would walk 100 miles if my kid was in a hospital but you know.. I’m not a junkie.

So now it’s Tuesday.

Spaz turned 14 and both his brother’s said that they would be over to help him celebrate. I wasn’t thrilled about it but it was Spaz’s birthday not mine so I was going to suck it up.

I got home from work at at 630pm and when I walked into the house, Chief was in the kitchen.. Spaz was on the couch playing a video game. And that was it. No one else.

Spaz asked if we could go to a Chinese Buffet for dinner and since Chief had to pick up a motor for the pool filter near the buffet, we decided to go. I was waiting for a moment when I could talk to Chief and that came while we were waiting in line to be seated and Spaz went off to the koi pond.

I asked Chief if he had heard from his sons. He said Bubba called Spaz earlier to wish him Happy Birthday and that Chief called and made up some excuse about not coming over. First he said he had to go to his probation officer… to which Chief said that Weed said he had gone yesterday. And then… and then came the “um.. um.. um”‘s and that he meant the rehab place. To which Chief said that Weed said he went there yesterday too.

Weed didn’t have another excuse and Chief got pissed and hung up on him.

I got just as pissed hearing this. Not that I thought anything would change.. but I thought things would change. And now it’s painfully obvious that it hasn’t because what else would he being doing hanging around his old friends in the old town?

And just in case you think I’m exaggerating .. not that I think you are.. about how much of junkie this kid is here is a picture of father and son.

Does it make you want to throw up, too?

Mind you, the baby is tiny… just barely 6 lbs and he looks huge being held by a bag of skin and bones, doesn’t he?

So now, my cautiously optimistic attitude had turned into full blow CAUTION!

Thankfully, that court papers are filled out and will be filed on Thursday morning asking the court for full custody of the baby because both his parents are junkies with no permanent home, no jobs and no way to support either themselves or a baby.

Fingers crossed that this goes through without a hitch because I have a college fund I need to start saving for.

I haven’t felt like posting lately …

No reason ..

Well.. there was an issue involving coffee and my laptop but that’s been fixed..

I’ve been trying to get my sleep schedule back to something relatively normal .. not that I’ve been successful but being on the laptop all night doesn’t help any ..

But anyway..

Nothing major is going on .. nothing major has changed .. just going with the flow and almost managing the damage!! LoL!!

The situation with Baby Faith is still the same .. the original lawyer said that getting custody of her was going to be an up hill battle but didn’t seem to want to fight the good fight .. so another lawyer has been approached.

Let me tell you something tho .. Faith is one sweet, sweet baby. Yesterday I babysat for her for a few hours and she’s such a sweetheart and I swear she was giggling at my feeble attempts to change her diaper!

There was also a minor issue with Chief’s twin brother Sarge.

I’m not particularly fond of him because I can see right through him. He isn’t interested because he’s interested, he’s interested to get gossip. He doesn’t do anything unless it gives him some kind of leverage. He also has to have the latest and greatest and biggest and better. It’s stupid. It’s pathetic.

He also lies. A lot. About nothing..

Last week, him and his wife went to see Baby Faith. They didn’t go because they were excited to have her in the family, they wanted to go because Bird posted Faith’s picture and a fairly cryptic message on Facebook. He wanted to leave almost as soon as he got there.

Anyway.. Sarge’s stepdaughter is getting married this summer. Something her mother is over the moon about because she never thought her daughter would get married. Not going to go into the reason why but if you saw her, you’d understand why her mother was so excited.

Before I go further.. let’s get a time line here.

Last time I saw the bride to be? Never. Never met her. Never met her fiance. Although we are “friends” on FB, she never responded to any message I ever sent her congratulating her on her engagement or the sympathy note I sent when her aunt died. Her fiance is actually very nice. We post back and forth on FB.

Last time I saw or spoke Sarge’s wife? Last Christmas. Not the 2010 Christmas.. the 2009 Christmas. BEFORE her daughter got engaged.  I did send her a message after I found out her sister in law had died and she did respond thanking me. That’s it.

Last time I saw Sarge? A few months ago.. way before we closed the shop. I did wish them a Merry Christmas and  Happy New Year but never got a response back.

So imagine my surprise when Sarge pulled out his violin and started whining to Bird that me and Chief were mad at him and he has no idea why we were mad at him..

So imagine my surprise when Bird tells me that while they were discussing the upcoming wedding and it dawns on Bird that they are getting married on my birthday. Sarge’s wife insists that I told her that I definitely confirmed that I was going to the wedding.

Now.. let me make something even clearer here..

Since I don’t know this girl.. and have never met her.. I wasn’t under the assumption that we were even going to get invited. What started out as the swanky dreams of a newly engaged bride to be who wanted THE best of everything turned into a reception in a fire hall so.. yknow.. who knew if we were going to get invited or not.

So for me to say that I was I definitely going was a lie. For me to say that to someone I haven’t spoken to in over a year is a lie.

And I don’t like liars.

Liars and Thieves.. two things I despise the most and he’s both.

So ..

I happen to tell Chief that we are going away that weekend for my birthday. He was fine with it.. he doesn’t like his brother anymore then I do .. I will still send something to the bride because it’s the only right thing to do and I would have gone to the wedding if I was invited .. but not after now.

Am I wrong?

A little while ago, I posted about my cousin Bird and her husband adopting a baby. At the time we didn’t know the gender, but today we do!

Faith Louise was born today at 8:03am weighing in at 7lbs, 10 ounces and 20 inches long.

Bird texted me the good news this morning but I haven’t been able to get a hold of her since.

I’m sure she’s either all wrapped up with the baby and the baby’s mother or passed out sleeping.

The mother started going into labor about 10 last night. She called Bird and they went over to the hospital. She wasn’t dilated enough and the doctor’s had her walking the halls but after a while they told her that they were going to send her home and she should check in with her doctor on Monday.

Well, you know what happened..

At 2:01am, the girl called Bird again saying that she was in excruciating pain so back to the hospital they went and 6 hours later baby Faith was born.

And now comes the complications ..

I’m not going to go into the nitty gritty .. it’s not my story to tell.. but the problem is that when Bird and her husband decided to adopt the baby, the mother was very, very, very close to her due date. There are forms that had to be signed by way too many people and submitted to the courts and now, since the baby is born, it’s too late to do that.

So I’m not sure where this girl and her baby are going to go.. Bird can’t take the baby home with her because she doesn’t have legal custody yet and I’m not sure the courts are open on a Sunday to file the Emergency Custody papers they need to submit.

I’ll keep you posted .. and will add pics when I get them.. I just pray that everything goes smooth on this rocky road and little baby Faith will be where she belongs as soon as possible.

... actually the Crack Whore's brain is smaller then this

Text message received at 8:53am this morning:

Gm informing u theyll b court 2 keep my kids close u cant just move them 6 hrs away without ther mother

Yep.. that’s verbatim.

See what a lack of education plus drugs and alcohol do to your brain?

We’ll just ignore the word “mother” here

Anyway.. so yea.. the Crack Whore is threatening to take Chief to court because we’re moving.

Truthfully, even though he has full, legal custody and she doesn’t even have formal visitation rights, I don’t know what she can or can’t do legally. He doesn’t either but instead of finding out, he’s doing something other then being concerned.

But let’s look at the facts:

  • She left the family when Bubba was around 4 and Spaz was an infant.
  • She has documented issues with drugs and alcohol
  • She has a felony record
  • She has been in a psychiatric ward
  • She hasn’t regularly paid child support and is now currently 6 or 7 months behind.
  • She never filed for visitation even after signing over all rights to her kids

There were times when she went months without seeing or talking to the kids.

So is it that she wants custody? Or is it that she just wants to stop US from moving? Because this woman :: I use the term loosely :: doesn’t know what it’s like to parent kids 24/7 .. she has them when she wants them and never both at the same time because she can’t “deal” with their fighting. She has no clue how they act because they aren’t with her long enough for her to find out.

I can’t tell you how many times she’s complained about them.. couldn’t deal with them and sent them back..

Now.. all that may not make a difference. And it probably won’t. But the thing also is that the kids in question are 16 and 12 and old enough to make their own decision on who they want to live with.

And if they want to live with her? Fine.. there is no revolving door. If you’re going to make that choice then you better REALLY think it out because once it’s done.. it’s done. There is no “come pick me up” or “come get him” .. not going to happen. Come for summer vacation.. come for Christmas vacation… no problem.

This morning I was told that Spaz asked if he was allowed to spend the last week of January with the Crack Whore. Spaz, you remember, it the son that the Crack Whore said wasn’t biologically Chief’s. The last week of January is when we were set to make the move to West Virginia.

I said to Chief that he needs to keep in the back of his head that she might run with him. Chief said that he didn’t think she would but I told him that I like to think of everything prior to it happening just in case. He said he wouldn’t stop Spaz from living with her if he really wanted to.


So I told him that if Spaz said he didn’t want to move.. and wanted to live with her then he needed to sit that kid down and explain to him in words that he could understand that once it’s done.. it’s done.. and that he can’t just call up and want to live with us the first time that she disappoints him or if things turn out not to be the way she promises it will be. Because it never is.

I also told Chief that I’m sorry if that sounds harsh but I’ve had to put up with her and her regarding the kids since she moved back into our town and this is my life too and I have every right to voice my opinion regardless of how it sounds because I’m entitled to it.

He said he understood and he appreciated me being honest.

So we’ll see where this goes ..


Yknow… with all the safe guards that the schools and day cares and places like that want you to BELIEVE are in place to protect your child, get this.

NOTE: Steam is still coming out of my ears like a cartoon character and my face is redder then when I fell asleep in the sun one summer on the beach. Me and my non-olive tone skin!!

So I have a parent / teacher conference this morning for Spaz. He got his report card and he actually did pretty damn good. For him. Mostly B’s.. two C’s and one D in .. in.. Social Studies, I think.

I didn’t realize it when I was talking to his teacher because I was more focused on his grades and behavior but when I got home, I noticed that the address they had listed on his report card :: which is basically just a blue piece of paper :: was the Crack Whore’s.


Now remember… Chief has FULL LEGAL CUSTODY. She had nothing. Not even visitation. Her visitation with them is up to HIS discretion.

So it kind of torqued me that she can walk into the school office and request his home address to be changed when the information cards I filled out at the beginning of the school year CLEARLY indicate that Chief is their legal guardian.

So .. all torqued.. I called the school and spoke to the secretary. She immediately became defensive and told me that that information was on the info cards.

Just as I was beginning to respond, Chief says something to me and I tell him about what the secretary is telling me along with .. very loudly.. HOW THE HELL CAN SHE JUST CHANGE AN ADDRESS WITHOUT THE SCHOOL CHECKING WITH YOU FIRST BECAUSE THAT HAS AAAALLLL KIND OF LEGAL RAMIFICATIONS?

The secretary caught my meaning and said that she would change the address immediately but would “… look into the situation”.

She calls me back a few minutes later :: real quick for the public school district we’re in :: and she tells me that she has the info cards in front of her and it CLEARLY has our address on it.

I know. My penmanship was at the hands of nuns wielding metal rulers. Duh!!

But she also said that the address had been changed at the Educational Services Center and their database is where the information is pulled when the report cards are printed.

Naturally wanting to rid her hands of me and not assume anymore responsibility, she FREELY gives up the name of the head honcho in charge of registration at the ECS.

Again, something that just ISNT done in our public school district.

Got that tiger by the tail now, dontcha Leese!

So I call her and get her voice mail and explain in a low.. firm.. what I thought was a non-threatening tone that WE. HAVE. AN. ISSUE. I explained about the address change and that she does not have any type of custody and that it needs to be changed back so call me back to tell me how that needs to happen.

I may have said “legal ramifications” again. It’s like the buzz word of the day!

So a few minutes later she calls me back with the ‘TOOD OF LIFE. I’m not just talking and attitude. I’m talking ‘TOOD! And asks me if there is a custody issue.

No, I tell her. No issue. She doesn’t have custody. At all.

She then tell me.. with the ‘TOOD OF LIFE :: which I’m starting to find really, really offensive :: that Chief will have to come into the office with the legal paperwork indicating that he has full custody before they will change the address.

Now I get the ‘TOOD OF LIFE and go into lawyer-mode.

“So basically,” I start in my best my best Perry Mason impersonation, “.. is that you need a legal document that clearly states custody before you can alter an address.”


“Uh-huh. Well then will you mind telling the court me what legal document you received from her when the address was changed?”

“She had paper work”

“Uh-huh. So you’re telling me that she had LEGAL DOCUMENTATION CLEARLY INDICATING CUSTODY”

“She had a copy of her lease.”

“Her LEASE! Ladies and gentleman of the jury, so you changed an address based on a lease from a NON CUSTODIAL parent but require the CUSTODIAL parent to present everything and anything before you can fix YOUR ERROR.”

And then Perry Mason ducked for cover under his wheelchair and my ghetto bitch came out.. so much so that I just handed the phone to Chief.

He had a completely different tone with her and obviously she had a different tone with him because yknow.. I’m just the step parent and who the hell am I to worry about the well being of the kids I’m raising.

So the bottom line is that the address was changed back and will NEVER EVER be changed again without a something in writing by him.

But I got to thinking.. yknow.. suppose there was a more serious issue at hand with the Crack Whore.. and the school, where you’re child is suppose to be safe is just changing information without referring to the information that THEY requested … an address isn’t only just an address. It’s proof that a child lives there so suppose this gets changed and then changed is used for something like kidnapping the child?