Heh…
Yknow… just what the hell is it with me and ducks?
When I was a real little kid, I almost drowned in the lake trying to fetch the plastic rings from a 6 pack because I was afraid a duck would inadvertantly have it wrapped around it’s neck and would choke. Both my father and my dog jumped in the lake to save me.
Neither was happy about it.
Especially the dog.
A little older and my family and I were attending a swanky outdoor wedding of a distanct cousin at some swanky country club in a swanky part of the state. Other then my communion, it’s one of the few times this tomboy was in a poofy dress with a sash.
Goes without saying that the country club had ponds.. AND it goes without saying that the ponds had ducks :: um, if you hadn’t figured that out already then you need to re-read the name of the post! :: Goes without saying what I was more interested in.. especially because they were people friendly and would just mosey around. And I was mosey-ing around right behind it .. much to my father’s chagrin… it was his side of the family.
So here I am.. with a bunch of oyster crackers :: already on the tables prepped for the reception :: following the ducks around and tossing crackers in their direction.
NOTE:
Yes.. yes.. do NOT send the PETA police to my door. I know better now.
Anyway… one particular duck comes up to me and I happen to notice that he has something stuck in it’s mouth. I look closer.. and it looked like a fishing hook had punctured his bill. I freaked out. I started crying.. ran over to my dad.. jumped in his lap and carried on and on about the duck. I get my passion for animals from my dad so I knew he would understand.
He promptly handed me off to my mom.. and made apologies to the WHOLE wedding party that turned around and was staring at this screaming kid.
Come to think of it.. don’t really think I saw that side of the family after that!
Turns out that it wasn’t a fish hook puncturing his bill. It was definately something metal.. but apparently something this quirky duck liked having in its mouth because he would spit it out and then pick it up again.
Then there’s the time that I was almost slapped with a felony trespassing charge for jumping the fence of a government installation because of the traps that they had set to catch the ducks that were inhabiting it’s quad.
But I’m not allowed to talk about that.
D has ducks at his place.. which I could probably sit and watch all day. The absolute BEST was when they were trying to get from one side of the pond to the other. They left serious treads in the duckweed!
And then there was today…
Before the day got ungodly hot, I drove down to The Lakes to log some milage on trimming down the thighs :: ok, so you didn’t need to know that :: and started out in front of the museum. There’s a lake just to the left that’s filled with ducks of all varieties. They like it there because it’s less exposed then the other lakes.
Anyway.. so as I’m passing them, I see this dude standing at the edge. He don’t look like he’s wrapped to tight but whatever…
So I hike my way around the park and as I made my way back around and over the bridge that was on the opposite side of where the dude was… I see this huge,white domestic barking.. spreading it’s wings and moving towards where the dude was standing.
I watched the dude pick something up and throw it at the duck.
Uh-uh.. nope.. not going to happen.
Before I knew it… the biggest, loudest, South Philly Chick-ish YO! came out of my mouth and I started trucking around to the other side of the lake. As I get around there… this bastard had this little plane on a fishing string and was spinning it around his head and tormenting the duck with it. What made it even worse is that right on the edge of the late where the reeds were there was a mallard with about 9 little baby ducklings which infuriated me more.
I asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing and he shrugged his shoulders and laughed like, “… wha???”. I tell him to leave the freakin’ ducks alone and he made some smart ass remark that I didn’t actually hear but then he threw a rock towards the pond where the babies were.. this time I stepped up to him. Getting all loud and Italian on his simple ass.
Him.. and everyone else around must have thought I was out of my freakin’ mind.. but I didn’t care. He finally stepped back and took off.
I drove to PetCo and bought duck pellets.
(¯`v´¯)
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¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. Don’t Fuck with the Ducks!
LIVING ME 101 