Courtesy

I didn't realize this patch was from WV when I swiped it .. talk about irony!

WARNING: Rant ahead

So .. yknow.. I’m the giver. Not much of a taker.

Even though I know that sometimes I have to be humble enough to ask for help when I need it, I usually don’t because I do what I have to do to make whatever works. I’m independent that way .. or call it self sufficient, maybe.

But when I do need help, the first people I go to is my family.

I’m blessed with an AWESOME family who will lend a hand whenever I need them to.

Ok.. so the ranting is going to begin now.

Y’all know my RV, Consuela, is currently 9 hours away in West Virginia. And y’all know that I need to get it OUT of West Virginia because we’re not moving there now and it isn’t parked on the property we bought.

After everything that happened during the road trip from hell, I get a bleeding ulcer whenever I think about driving back there to get Consuela and then driving her right back here.

I’m also worried about putting another 800 miles on my car but there’s really no way to get there from here and back without it. It’s not like it’s on a train route!

I would just feel a hell of a whole lot more comfortable if there was another adult with us. Someone who would ride with Chief on the way back so if there’s some kind of an issue with Consuela, he wouldn’t be by himself. To me, having another set of hands to help him would just make me feel better.

So I figured I’d ask my 26 year old former Marine Godson.

He really doesn’t have the responsibilities that my other friends and family do .. he lives at home, works three days a week.. and generally just “lives the life” if you know what I mean.

So at the beginning of the week I sent him a message asking if him and his girlfriend (who I adore and adores me back) wanted to take a road trip .. I promised fun, adventure and rest stop breaks but also let him know that I was kind of in a jam. He messaged me back saying that his girlfriend was working this weekend (the original plan was to go this weekend before all the damn snow) but asked me what I had in mind.

I send him a message explaining to him about Consuela and why I wanted him to come with.. and how my stomach is in knots and would really, really feel better if he came along.

Never heard anything back.

He’s been on Facebook posting status’ and whatever so I know he got the message.. he just didn’t respond to it.

And I’m kind of upset about it ..

I’m not one to keep lists of who does what for whom but I did a lot for this kid.. was there for him every step of his way..supported him when no one else would .. he knows that he can talk to me about anything and would loved him no matter what and it just hurts that the one time … the ONE time I ask him for a favor, he couldn’t even respond to it.

I did tell him that I would completely understand if he didn’t want to go… I’m not upset that he told me he DIDN’T want to go.. I’m upset because he didn’t tell me one way or the other..

Because isn’t that a life lesson? It is for me ..  it’s being reliable.. conscientious.. mindful of other people’s time and plans..

And it’s just weighing on me so I had to unload.

Eventually, I’ll talk to him and ask him about it .. I don’t necessarily think that calling him up now at 5am is going to benefit either of us, yknow?

<< end rant >>

Empty Pockets.. Full Heart

Christmas this year was hard.

We literally had no money for anything.. tree, gifts, etc.

I’ve never NOT had a Christmas but I guess there’s a first time for everything and truly, it gave me the opportunity to reconnect with my faith and walk the walk in regards to celebrating Christ’s birth instead of getting all caught up in the commercial holiday. I was also able to give to a family that was worse off then we were and that truly, was the best present I had ever received.

If it was just the two of us, it wouldn’t really have been a big deal but with the kids.. well.. they can only “understand” so much regarding adult situations but they were shipped off to the Crack Whore’s for the weekend since she was loaded down with gifts for them.

Fortunately, my big ol’ Italian family celebrates the Feast of the Seven Fishes and they were more then happy to have me and Chief over. Especially because we’re moving and may not be back here for a while.

My family knows our situation and even though the last thing they would have expected was a gift, I didn’t feel right receiving empty handed. It’s just the way I am.

So a few days before Christmas Eve, I’m sitting in my mother’s living room watching one of her soap operas and it hit me.
The PERFECT gift for my aunts and cousins. I literally jumped off the couch excited and told my mom what I was thinking. She was excited to.

My grandmother passed away at 97 in July 2009. She truly was the matriarch of our family and she is very, very missed by all of us. I’ve said this before but it’s worth repeating.. I’ve realized as I’ve grown older and met different people and joined different families that mine is truly the exception to the rule. There is no dysfunction.. we are close.. we are there for each other.. supportive of each other.. we all get along.. there is no stress when having to do a seating chart..

Christams Eve’s dinner was always at my grandmother’s little South Philly row house. Imagine trying to stuff 40 or more people in a box and you kind of get the idea of what dinner’s were like. It wasn’t uncommon to be lined up on the stairs with plates on our laps!

After she died, my her youngest daughter (my aunt) took over the mantle to keep the tradition alive.. and even though it meant driving an extra hour or so to her house, we gladly do it because gosh, with everybody’s hectic day to day there is no way we were going to miss the opportunity to get together.. eat.. and laugh. The things we do best!

When they sold my grandmother’s house, my mom had given me all different kinds of plates and cups and saucers that my grandmother had collected over the years. Things that no one could really use but things my mother and aunt didn’t have the heart to throw out. The thought was that I would take them to a flea market but I never got around to doing that.

The idea that I had sitting in my mother’s living room was to turn part of the tea set I had inherited into candles and gift them to my aunts and cousins. It seemed so perfect. Something that I could make less then cheap but was priceless.

I also created a tag with my grandmother’s picture and the words “Grandmom’s Cup of Love”

I knew that the gift would be well received.. but I didn’t expect just HOW well..

There were tears .. a lot of them.. and it made me feel bad because the last thing I wanted was for anyone to be sad but at the same time, I felt really good because I know that they were appreciative and that their sentiment was sincere.

Turns out that one of the worst Christmas’ turned into one of the best!

I Want To Give Something Away..

Sorry.. but the virginity went A LONG time ago!! LOL!

.. ok.

So my cousin GG :: not to be confused with DD :: did something extradordinarily nice.

But she’s like that so it really isn’t THAT much of a surprise.

Anyway…

See, we Italians have a Christmas Eve tradition. It’s called the Feast of the Seven Fishes and basically what happens is we all get together and eat seven different kinds of fish.

Except me.

I don’t like fish so I would usually bring something that us non-fish eaters could eat. One time I even stopped at the chinese food place but that’s another story for another time.

Anyway.. so we used to all meet up at my grandmother’s house but since she died, my aunt :: who lives about an hour and a half away :: decided to have it at her house.

I told my mom that three hours of travel time would seriously impact all my Xmas Eve chores :: like oh.. I don’t know… SHOPPING? :: and that we wouldn’t be making the dinner.

The word didn’t get out to GG and so concerned that all the kids in my family would be receiving envelopes, she made sure that Spaz would have one so he wouldn’t feel left out.

That’s the kind of person she is.. always thoughtful.. always compassionate.. so not like me!! LOL!!

Seriously tho, I was so impressed that she did that. Especially because my own mom didn’t get them anything. But that’s another story for another time.

Anyway.. we wound up seeing my mother and brother this past Sunday and it was then that she gave me the card for Spaz.

The only problem is that I couldn’t give Spaz the card without having something to give to Bubba. Because really, that just isn’t fair and it just didn’t sit right with me.

Sometimes adults have to make those kinds of decisions.

I opened the card figuring that it was like, 5 bucks or something and I would just go buy them each something with it.. like the Lindt’s chocolate truffles.

But it turned out to be a 15.00 gift card to Game Stop.

Now there isn’t anything I can do with that to split it between them and I couldn’t life with myself if I pocketed it for me so I figured I’d do something nice and give it away to one of my readers who really needs it for either their kid or someone else’s.

So email me at livingme101@gmail.com

Oh.. and I did think about donating it locally but there were just too many groups and churches and organizations to consider and plus, I wanted to do something for the people who give me a little bit of their time everyday!

PLOCK This!!!!!

Ok…

So I know that I just posted about how busy I was with the holidays and stuff but I have a confession to make.

I’m a PLOCK addict.

SUPER-addict some would say… and have, I might add.

It all started with my insane need to beat my cousin DD at Facebook games.

I have no idea why .. maybe because she’s so damn good that my competitive spirit kicked in.

Anyway.. if you’ve never played PLOCK .. it’s just this little 1 minute bullshit game where you just break boxes.

DD was racking up 400,ooo … 500,ooo points IN. ONE. MINUTE.

No.. no.. no.. no.. this did not sit well with me..

And so I played and played and played and played and played some more and FINALLY.. FINALLY.. broke the 500,000 mark.

And life was good…

Life was REAL good…

Until the next time DD played and she broke 750,000.

WHAT THE FUCK?????

So I prayed to the PLOCK gods.. offered up any one of Chief’s spawn.. even sacrificed the spider that’s been living in the bathroom.. and guess what?

BOO-fuckin’-YA!!!!!

In case you don’t have your reading glasses on.. that says 766,700 BITCHES!!

Beat that, DD!!!

“TIMBER” – The Story On How The Tree Fell Three Times

.. so I was going to get all Once Upon A Time-ish and start spewing this story about a lonely tree in the the Holiday forest that found a home in my house.

But dinner’s in the oven and I don’t have time so you’ll just have to be bombarded with the real story.

You can't really tell from this picture but the tree really is 9 feet

Ok.

First of all, let me tell you that the painting above the gel-canister fire place is a view of  St. Mark in Italy. My mother has had that picture for EONS and thought it was A REALLY REALLY NICE GESTURE to give it to me after I bought my first house. Mind you, this was after my father died and since he was the one that actually WANTED the painting, I think she just wanted a guilt-free excuse to get rid of it.

I don’t have the heart to throw it out.. but I also do not lack decorating savvy so I only hang it when she either comes over :: which she never does :: OR when I have to send a picture of the tree to her cell phone.

This way she thinks it’s on the wall.. I get away with her thinking it’s on the wall and everybody’s happy.

Ok.. with that said..

You have to picture this so that you get the full effect.

This is a picture of the right side of my dining room. The entry way on the left side of the tree leads to the stairway to the second floor.

The fire place is one of those “real flame” ones that use the big sterno gel things. They’re actually pretty cool. You can’t tell from the picture but the fireplace itself is REAL!! wood and even though they market the ambviance .. it really does throw off mega heat.

So normally … like OTHER normal families.. the tree is put up in the living room. However, with the addition of a hand-me-down sectional from my uncle, the 52″ flat screen and 110 gallon fish tank had to be re-arranged. Putting the tree up in the living room meant that everything had to be re-arranged again.

Man’s job.

I can move around the furniture but there was NO WAY IN HELL that I was even going to think about moving the flat screen and forget about the fish tank.

His babies.. not mine.

NOTE: Although our three year old fish, Mr. Pink :: fuck him, I named them anyway :: did not die after all. I think he was just starving to death because I finally remembered to buy fish food and he came right around. Ah, another story for another time.

Anyway.. so we decide to get the tree on Friday because of the STORM! OF! THE! CENTURY! on Saturday. The plan, as Chief tells it, is to take off the webbing on Saturday so the leaves can fall and then decorate it on Sunday.

Fine. Whatever. I just wanted a damn artificial tree anyway.

So Saturday comes.. and the damn thing is still sitting on the front porch with the webbing still on.

Ok.. so he openned the shop amid the blizzard and had to walk home through it.

Big hairy deal.

Sunday morning comes around and since he didn’t cook the big breakfast to celebrate the STORM! OF! THE! CENTURY! like he said.. I figured we’d get to the tree.

Nada.

By one in the afternoon, he was conked out in the bedroom.

Well.. I guess I’ll at least go up in the attic and get the decorations out. Maybe that will spark a fire in his ass.

So I go upstairs in the attic.. now, mind you, my attic runs the full length of the house on either side. So basically I guess I have two attics. And it’s a big space. If the roof wasn’t slanted you could definitely chain a few kids to the beams and keep them there forever a while.

I don’t normally go in there. Ever. But I went in there this time and it was trashed. All the decorations from last year were just thrown around.. broken balls all over the place.. wreaths strewn about.. stocking with all kinds of shit all over them just thrown all over the place.

The kids put the decorations away last year and when I took a look at what the attic looked like I WAS ROYALLY PISSED.

I MEAN PISSED.

REALLY. REALLY. PISSED.

NOTE: OMG.. I just remembered RIGHT FREAKIN’ NOW that the cops were up there when they raided the house last year. Shit! Not that the kids wouldn’t have just thrown the decorations up there but I bet you the police did the same thing to my attic that they did to my bedroom!! Um.. how do you spell “woops”?

Ok. My bad.

Anyway.. so my little pissed off self had a discussion with my little OCD anally organized self and I cleaned the attic. Not quietly, mind you. Cursing and bitching and all of that the whole time.

I bring whatever decorations I can salvage downstairs :: funny how all the ones that broke were from girlfriend’s past, huh? Talk about irony! :: and then stomped to the front porch .. passing Bubba who was playing PS3.. lifted the 9ft tree.. started to carry it into the living room.. felt something go “ccrreeeiinnccchhh” in my 44 year old back.. dropped it.. and then started to drag it across the living room almost knocking down the flat screen tv.

Fuck it, I figured.. if nobody was going to do anything in the living room to make room for the fucking tree that I didn’t want.. then I’m just going to stick it where ever it could be stuck and that’s the corner where it is now.

Who cares if it blocks the stairs? No one is sleeping in the bedrooms upstairs anyway so go ahead… argue with me.. I DARE you!

With all the grunting and dragging and hollering at the dogs to get the HELL out of my way, Chief and Bubba lined up like little Dr. Who robots to help.

Full of fucking Christmas cheer now, arentcha boys?

So the Ultimate Tree-Putter-Upper stands the tree up in the stand and tells me he isn’t going to secure it to the wall until I put the lights and decorations on it.

ME: What are you talking about? I’m only going to decorate the part that everybody sees.

CHIEF: You’re kidding right?

ME: You’re telling me I should decorate the back of the tree? The back of the tree that’s facing the stairway that nobody is going to be able to use? You’re kidding me, right?

CHIEF: But.. um.. isn’t that.. like.. a little .. um.. ghetto?

ME: OH.. cuz we’re so fucking bourgeois, right? I forgot..

CHIEF: Forget I even said anything.

ME: Good call, Bucky.

So he goes and does something.. don’t remember what.. maybe take a hit to take the edge off.. who knows.. but as I’m trying to untangle the icicle lights to put on the tree :: yes, I did say icicle lights. I like a bright tree :: nobody remembered that we have a very curious kitten in the house. A kitten who’s natural instinct is to get into anything and everything that will make my life miserable.

So while Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy is chasing the kitten through the house she jumps.

Onto the tree.

The tree that isn’t yet secured to the walls because Father Uber-Christmas wanted lights behind it.

And it goes down.

Hard.

Onto the dining room table where I have a decorate basket filled with Christmas balls that goes sliding across the table and onto the non-carpeted floor.

I honestly wanted to cry and I don’t cry over stuff like that but I was SO overwhelmed and that just added to the overwhelmed-ness.

Chief comes running out of the bedroom and Bubba comes running into the dining room and I just put my hands out like Diana Ross stopping love and said;

JUST.

GO.

AWAY.

They knew better then to argue and where probably relieved that they got a free pass.

So I cleaned everything up and lifted the tree up. I couldn’t secure it because I’m not tall enough to secure a 9′ tree.. especially when the steps are now blocked. So I filled the base with water thinking that would at least give it some weight and proceeded to put the lights on.

Everything was going well until my OCD self just HAD to do something with the fireplace.

Remember, it takes gel canisters but I do have real logs in there just for appearances. I had bought these lights last year that look like real flames but found out the hard way that they burn too hot to put them on anything that would burn or blow up so I figured HA! I’ll put them in the fireplace.

So as I was monkeying around with them, I figured I would plug them into one of the icicle light sets. Fine. No problem.

I crawl under the tree and as I’m digging around in the branches for the end of the icicle lights, Ernie decided HE wanted to know what was under there and tried to belly crawl around me.

Ha.. ha.. cute.. UNTIL he used MY BARE FLESH to dig his claws into to pull himself under. I howled.. instinctively jerking back and amid the rain of pine needles, felt the tree falling. And me getting soaking wet from the gallon or two of water that I had put in the base.

Again the boys came running and again I told them to get the HELL away from me.

The knew I wasn’t going to be able to handle this one.. being all wrapped up in a tree and everything.. so they helped and I give them credit for trying not to laugh.

So everything gets cleaned up.. AGAIN.. and I go back to monkeying with the flicker lights.. hoping to be enveloped by some kind of holiday zen.

I finally get the lights just the way I want them :: thank you duct tape :: and go to plug them in. You know.. to the icicle lights? Yea.. well.. the only problem with that is that when the tree was re-erected for the second time it wasn’t exactly in the same spot.. so the end of the icicle lights was further way and when I tugged on the extension cord to get more leeway .. well.. you know what happened.

If you don’t.. just take a look at the picture again..

Picture me sitting in front of the fireplace where that nice little glow is coming from .. see that where the tree is? Now picture where it would fall if you tugged a little too hard on the extension cord.

Actually the tree in the picture is pushed back further then it was when it fell RIGHT ON ME the second time.. but you get the idea.

CHIEF: We’re getting an artificial one next year, huh?

ME: I hate you

CHIEF: Oh, come on.. at least I didn’t say TIMBER!!