I know… I know… I went missing again!!

… no, I didn’t die.

And my apologies to the family of Mr. Gerald Leese but come one, I couldn’t resist!

AND it’s 3:20am

Really, what the hell did y’all expect!

Anyway…

So I’m not going to give any excuses as to why I haven’t posted since January.

Blame it on work and the crazy hours of overtime I’ve been pushing… blame it on the home life.. blame it on moving… blame it on American Idol … none of that’s acceptable and for that I do apologize.

Oh.. but you CAN blame it on the iPad2. That thing is literally like crack and you’d be hard pressed to find it NOT in my hands from the minute I come home from work until the minute I fall asleep with it on my bed watching reruns of something on Hulu.

But once again I am promising to post more.. and one again you will roll your eyes and say “whateva” in your best Philly accent.

I get it.

BUT.. there are some interesting things on the horizon and who the hell else would I vent to? .. or AT.. as the case maybe!! LoL

Okay.. so let me catch you up with the Den of Dysfunction.

Briefly.

Or else this post is going to be a million words long… but really it’s because it’s almost daylight and I still have a pool to paint AND drive to another state to pick up my cell phone that I left behind in one of those go-visit-cousins-new-apartment-that’s-OMG-in-the-ghetto-so-lets-take-off-just-as-fast!

On to it:

CHIEF: Still not working… still hasn’t done a damn thing about his health insurance OR getting his driver’s license back BUT he has succumbed to being my house bitch so dinner is on the table when I get home.. laundry is done :: but not folded, so let’s say he’s a house bitch in training :: .. and he completely re-landscaped our whole property.. put in a garden.. built a front porch.. etc. etc. etc. So I have no complaints really. I don’t classify him as a bum because.. well, I already had one of those and I know the difference.

SPAZ: Must say that Spaz is less.. well.. SPAZZY. The little gnome has shot up and at last check he was as tall as me. His attitude has calmed down since he isn’t around his brothers or crack whore mother and he’s doing better in school. Not ALOT better but I’ll take what I can get. He cleans his room without being told… doesn’t get all bitchy when he has to help his father with yard work.. so he’s really made a turn around after the move.

BUBBA: Heh. Bubba. Did I tell y’all that he left our home a year ago because we were forcing him… FORCING HIM.. to go to school and that he went to live with the Crack Whore who provided no supervision, guidance, consequences, etc. so now he spends his days/nights drinking and smoking pot? Oh.. but see.. it gets SO MUCH BETTER!

You see.. they were living with this dude and because she is who she is and does what she does and lives how she lives, the dude was kinda getting pissed that she wasn’t holding up her end of the “bargain” :: insert anything you want there. I’m sure it wouldn’t be too far off the mark :: so a week before Bubba’s 17th birthday, she kicked him out over something stupid :: because she is, after all, an idiot :: and then high tails it out and moves into one of the seediest, ghettoist, crime ridden and drug riddled towns in my county… where she was promptly given a sash, tiara and corner to work.

Kidding about the last part.

They didn’t give her a tiara and sash.

But I digress…

We didn’t find any of this out until a month later when she supposedly was in the hospital with either pneumonia or breast cancer… can’t tell you which because she’s claimed both so it’s probably neither…. when she sent a text saying how rotten a father Chief was because he didn’t know she had kicked his son out  a month earlier and he was now living with a friend and it was all MY fault.

Yes, dear friends, all that happened because of me.

Whateva

So Chief goes into father mode.. contacts his son.. brings him to the house.. buys him some clothes :: because, you know, when she kicked him out and ditch the dude she was living with she left all their stuff there :: makes arrangements for him to live with Sarge which of course, the kid doesn’t want to do because then he wouldn’t be able to drink and get high.

But he is going to school now.

So he says.

Whateva.

WEED: Oh.. this is actually going to be huge in the coming months because did you know that him and his skanky girlfriend are having a baby? Yes.. my friends. A baby. Born to a father (maybe) who finally landed a job but spends his paycheck on drugs and a mother who is the same.. and yet the father (maybe) gets pissed off at the mother for doing drugs but doesn’t stop himself.

I have to say I had to do a lot of soul searching on this one … and have some pretty thick calluses on my knees from being on them all night praying for guidance.

Will you PLEASE get your mind out of the gutter!!

Thank you.

That’s going to be a post on it’s own because a lot happened.. a lot didn’t happen.. and a lot will be happening and all of it is going to land right smack dab in my lap…

So I suggest you buckle up your seat belts.. it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

Mob Wives: S2E1 Recap

Last season, Renee had some plastic surgery done and decided that she wanted to have a full body make over. Instead of going to the gym, she likes the idea of going in for surgery and having the body she wants the next day. Bad move.

Season 2 opens with Renee preparing to have the surgery. A little off here.. a little off there.. and a tush.  After going through the skin peel with her plastic surgeon last season, you’d think she’d have second thoughts using the same dude. Especially since he looks like having an office in a strip mall would be a step up. Come on, Renee! Did you check to see if his diploma was written in a foreign language? You a stone’s throw away from Manhatten and with the bank you made during the first season, why put yourself at risk?

The recovery doesn’t go well. At all. Renee is in A LOT of pain and the meds they’re giving her (advil? motrin?) aren’t working. Her attempt at sitting up causes all the stitches in her back to open.. losing over 6 pints of blood in the process and she is rushed to an emergency room for a transfusion and later, an infection. All told, she spent 16 days in the hospital without a tush to be had.

I felt horrible for her 17 year old son, AJ .. obviously worried while him mom was IN surgery, but to see her going through what she did and almost die in the process just added more to an already heavy plate.

By only the grace of God, Renee does recover and realizes that the plastic surgery was “.. the dumbest thing I ever done.” In a conversation with Karen, she asks her not to tell the “skinny” bitches (Drita and Carla) that she should have just gone to the gym to lose the 35lbs.

Renee is also pissed that Carla, the one Mob Wife she’s known the longest, never called or visited her. Yes, she sent a text on the day of the surgery but nothing since. Renee feels hurt and that their friendship should trump any fights they’ve had in the past. One being Renee telling Carla that Carla’s boyfriend touched her in an inappropriate way.

In the mean time Drita, coming to terms with her husband cheating on her and resolving herself to divorce him, goes to the gym to take boxing lessons. She knows her behavior on the roof top with Karen during the season 1 finale .. along with the desire to make the face of the woman her huband cheated with resemble silly putty.. is not in her, nor her daughters, best interest. She wants a healthier way of dealing with her aggression. During her training session, the trainer tells her that her punch is stronger then a man’s. Was I the only one thinking that that is NOT a piece of info Drita should have?

But in an attempt to try to put the past behind her, Drita texts Karen and basically says that she things they should meet and talk about what happened. Don’t quote me here but I think Drita may have even said she was wrong to act the way she did. I also think she mentioned something about making amends for the sake of their daughters.

Karen, at the time, is having lunch.. or drinks.. or lunch and drinks.. with her “cousin”, newest Mob Wife Ramona Rizzo. Although not related by blood, Karen and Ramona have been friends since the crib so they refer to themselves as cousins. Karen reads the text aloud and Ramona right away starts telling Karen about all the rumors she’s heard about Drita putting Karen on her ass. Karen then relays the rumors SHE’s heard about Drita putting her on her ass.

So what does this fairly intelligent author do when confronted by rumor? Believes them, of course.

She assumes that the reason Drita is holding out the olive branch is because Renee is going to have a party to celebrate the fact that she didn’t die after surgery and made Karen promise not to start shit with Drita.  Karen believes that Drita knows Karen will be at the party and that her text is being cowardly.

Renee had also called Drita about the party.. and also to tell her that she wasn’t going to invite Carla. Renee had resumed therapy with a new therapist.

I have to say here that I feel horrible for Renee. She is so much a little girl trapped in the body of a woman who doesn’t know.. and is a little afraid.. to be who she IS, not who she was TOLD to be.

She’s extemely hurt by Carla’s non-actions. The therapist agrees that Carla ignoring Renee’s ordeal shouldn’t slide, he asks her what she intends to do about it. Break her jaw and have it wired, of course! Um.. no. How about just not being near her was the therapists suggestion.

.. so Renee calls Drita and tells her about the party. She also tells her that she isn’t inviting Carla and that Karen will be there. Drita mentions that she and Karen need to talk but Renee, again, makes HER promise to not have any rumbles at the party. Drita agrees. Then goes have drinks.. or lunch.. or lunch and drinks.. with Carla to tell her of her non-invite.

Carla insists she wasn’t aware of how bad off Renee was. No one contacted her. Drita reiterates that SHE was instructed to NOT tell anyone of Karen’s condition. So what’s a girl to do? Why, call Renee a bipoar bitch.. that’s what.

The day of the party comes and Drita is going alone. No back up.

Karen is taking her fri-ousin, Ramona who insists that Karen CAN’T (hand slap) BE (hand slap) NICE (hand slap). Apparently there are issues between Drita and Ramona, too. If there wasn’t, why have Ramona on the show in the first place, right?

Drita gets to the party first and is standing by the bar when Karen and Ramona come in. Karen says something to Drita about Karen being the last person she’d want standing behind her.. or something like that. I’m doing this from memory so forgive me.. Drita moves away.

Renee enters the party fashionably late wearing a dress that reminded me of the green JLo dress. Only Renee’s is shorter in length and not so neck plungy. She looked good though.. She’s all excited and exclaiming how she didn’t know she had that many friends :: but.. um.. didn’t you invite them all? :: She also see’s the big smile on her ex-husband Junior’s face and explains that even though she was done with him, he was there for her and had her back.

Dying to make trouble Ramona tells Karen that Drita is avoiding her like the plague. Karen says that out of respect for Renee and her party, she wasn’t going to start anything with Drita. Not being one to back down from anything, I’m surmising that Drita felt the same way.

She wasn’t running FROM Karen.. she was avoiding knocking her on her ass. Get with the program, Ramona!

Even though Renee made both of the promise to stay out of each other’s way, she gets annoyed when she see’s them on opposite sides of the room.. staying out of each other’s way.

Like.. WHAT??

So she does what any delusional person does.. she gets on the microphone and calls “her girls” on stage. Karen readily joins her but Drita.. well, Drita knows herself.. and knows that Renee is fucking nuts.. so instead of going up on stage, she goes out on the balcony.

Karen sees this as a slap in the face.. that Drita is making it known that she has an issue with Karen.

Like.. WHAT?? Can you be anymore full of yourself, girl?

In interview, Drita says that what Renee did was wrong. And I agree. You asked them to stay away.. they stayed away.. and then you want to put them together?

Anyway… Drita is joined on the balcony by Big Ang.

I have no words to describe Big Ang.. you’ll just have to be witness to her yourself. Plus, I don’t want to run the risk of her tracking me down!! LoL .. half LOL anyway!

Drita tells Big Ang that her and Karen fell out and that she wants to talk to her to try and make amends. Big Ang go back into the party and asks Karen to go out on the balcony and talk with Drita.

She goes.. along with Ramona.

When Renee sees this, she worries that one of them will be flipped over the balcony.

Next Week: Brawl on the balcony… Ramona with a bloody mouth.. Renee screaming to go home and Junior punching a car window. 

 

 

Mob Wives: Season 2

Karen.. Drita.. Carla.. Renee

.. When Mob Wives first premiered on VH1 last year, I’ll admit I rolled my eyes. You know me.. I’m all about reality shows but growing up an Italian in South Philly during the 80’s hayday of bubble gum gangsters and daily mob hits during Federal trials I was like.. yea, no thanks.

But during the 4 days I had off over the Christmas holiday, VH1 put the whole first season On Demand and because I was able to stay up until 3 or 4 am without worrying about dragging my ass out of bed for work.. and because I had already watched everything I wanted to watch.. I took the plunge.. and was hooked.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait too long before the second season premiere on January 1st.

If you have a love of reality shows.. and the way over the top woman on them, then watch Mob Wives. If you won’t have the background that I have you might find them a little on the unbelievable side. But I guarantee you.. they’re attitudes and way of thinking are very, very real.

Renee is a trip and a half. Very old school in terms of loyalty and respect and family. Very tough exterior but in true cancer fashion, very soft on the inside. In Season 1, Renee struggled with that old school thinking.. The mob’s hayday has long since passed and Renee was having a difficult time living in the here and now but thinking like back then. She also was still clinging to the piece of her heart belonging to her ex-husband and seeing a therapist because of depression and self-esteem issues.

What I like about Renee is that even though her attitude can be trying and her ways of thinking a little more than left of center, she lets everything show.. warts and all. How many other reality show mavens would allow themselves to be shown on camera after a skin peel? A very painful looking.. raw and bloody skin peel?

Not to many..

My other favorite Mob Wife is Drita D’Avanzo.

Drita puts the BAD is BADASS. But again, attitudes are deceiving. Yes, she can drop you on your ass faster than she can pull off her stilettos but as a mother of two young girls, she realizes her actions will have a negative impact on them. But sometimes, your past is the only thing that people remember..

Drita is Albanian.. the daughter of immigrants whose family sort of disowned her when she married Lee D’Avanzo.. an Italian with a little bank robbing hobby. It’s sad that Lee went away to prison when their oldest was little more than an infant.. and sadder still that his family wasn’t enough reason to keep his nose clean. He went back to prison before their youngest child could form a memory of him. This isn’t  lost on Drita.. who remained faithful and committed to him and their marriage until the end of Season 1 when she found out he had been cheating on her the last time he was a free man.

I don’t know.. I like Drita. She also wants to break free of the mold she cemented herself in.

Next up there’s Carla Facciolo.

Like Drita, the father of Carla’s 8 year old twins is in jail. But Carla is moving on with her life. She’s dating and doing “her”, as she puts it. Carla doesn’t have as big of a personality like the other three and the decision to have her on the show is sometimes lost on me. But as quiet as she is.. as nonchalant as she comes off.. there is something going on there underneath. She’s just not as bold about it.

With her babies daddy being released from jail and mandated to a half way house, Carla should have more meat in Season 2. Figuratively .. no literally.

Well.. maybe that too!

Finally there’s Karen Gravano.

While the names Graziano, DAvanzo and Facciolo may not mean anything to you.. but I think I’d be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t heard of Sammy, The Bull, Gravano .. the man who turned canary and brought down John Gotti and the Gambino crime family.

Karen is his daughter.

Moving west after what went down with her father, Karen now wants to write a book about growing up the daughter of an underboss to ratted. Um.. an interesting read? Jury’s out. No pun intended.

Anyway.. Karen heads back to Staten Island in order to do research for her book even though there are people like Renee Graziano who think she needs to just stay where ever the hell she was. That was in the first 15 minutes of the first episode of season 1. Renee and Karen are now besties because they both understand honor and loyalty. Ok.

Karen also was the long time live in girlfriend of Lee D’Avanzo. Name sound familiar? Read a few paragraphs up. He’s now Drita’s husband.

So at the end of Season 1, we find Drita and Karen have an all out slug fest because of things in the past not said and not done. Renee and Carla had had a hair pulling fest because of Carla’s boyfriend that is still an open wound with both of them. Renee decided it was finally time to let go any fantasy she had with rekindling anything with her ex and Drita sees a divorce attorney because her husband’s infidelity left her feeling like a woman who’s waiting close to a decade for a man feels when they find out he’s cheated.

Season 2 began January 1st. Recap soon.

2011: The Good.. The Bad.. The WTF!!!

… I know, I know!! It’s been far too long since I had the opportunity to just sit and blog. I should just MAKE the time but it’s the same old.. same old.. life happens, yknow?

Anyway..

I promise I will commit.. at least right NOW I promise to commit. You have to agree I need a reality show so just go easy on me!! LoL!!

Now.. back to it.

In the time honored tradition of ME101 .. let’s recap 2011

I may need a valium for this!

Okay.. the good stuff first:

After living without electricity for close to five months, we were finally able to move into The House Of My Almost Dreams. I say “almost” because we’re renting.. if I was paying a mortgage instead of rent well then.. you get the idea! But believe me, we were truly blessed to find this house. It was everything I was looking for LAST year when we thought we were moving to West Virginia.

But I think I told you all this already.

On-set Alzheimer’s. Throw me a bone, here.

Spaz started a new school and he actually has a friend. A NORMAL friend… well, as normal as anyone who would want to hang around Spaz can be. They’re kind of like the two misfits in the lunch room who sit with eachother because there is no one else to sit with. Believe me, I’m not being sarcastic. But his friend is a nice boy. Respectful and friendly. Lives close by and they even joined a school club together. Who am I to complain? It’s a step up. Believe me.

Spaz has also become a little LESS spazzy since we moved.. not ready for another nickname yet but he’s a lot better then he was so kudos to him. Being around his brothers is a WHOLE other story.. but we’ve addressed it. Told him that his attitude doesn’t get a free pass anymore because he doesn’t realize he has an attitude after spending time with them and that will be the end of it.

Did it sink in? Time will tell.

I did go back to work in May. Loving the job.. loving an actual paycheck now.. the company was sold to another company in October but so far there isnt anything to worry about. For now. But when God closes one door another opens so I’m just riding the “see what happens” wave.

My aunt bought another car and gave me her old one. It’s about 10 years old but still in great condition. The reduced rent made carrying another car on my insurance possible so now we’re actually using less gas because Chief doesn’t have to drive me to work and then pick me up. Bonus.

There may not be very many GOODS this year.. but what was GOOD is VERY VERY GOOD so I’m extremely blessed.

Now for the BAD..

When we moved out of our old house, the old landlord became very shady about giving us back out 2700.00 security deposit. Even though he gives slumlords a good name, he was fair to us when we needed him to be (think paying rent on time) and so we offered every opportunity to be fair to him. The security was suppose to be held in escrow but everybody and their mother with distant relatives knew that he didn’t have it available when he was suppose to. And if he would have just called us and told us that, we would have been cool but he decided to ignore phone calls, set up appointments for the final walk through that he didn’t keep, ignored more phone calls and then tried to pull a pile of crap out of his ass so we had to file a civil suit against him.

According to Pennsylvania’s Landlord / Tenant Act, if he didn’t return the security OR a list of deductions with the balance of the security within 30 days then he has to give us everything back. If we sued him for the original amount, he can’t counter sue us. If we sued him for double the amount (which we could) then he could counter for up to the original amount only. Either way, we walk out with the security.

We’re not greedy. We’re only suing for the original amount.

After he was notified, he sent us a certified letter outlining all the thing that we were responsible for (excuse me while I choke on complete fabrication) along with wanting to get paid for November’s rent. We were out of the house by November 1st. He’s clawing at straws. Either he really does think he has a case OR he never dealt with tenants who are actually literate and know how to read laws.

Either way, watch what happens.

The worst thing that happened this year.. actually the two worse things.. happened fairly recently and destroyed my heard.

Al .. one of our cats .. decided she wanted to be a complete outdoor cat when we moved. At the old house, she was outside 90% of the time but once we moved she decided there were far too many interesting things at the new place to waste time indoors. She stayed on the property.. had her condo on the front porch.. always had fresh food and water.. and was a happy camper.

The Saturday before Christmas Eve, Chief and I had returned in the late morning from shopping. As we turned in the driveway, Chief saw Al curled up at the bottom of the driveway.. dead. He rushed me into the house before I completely burst into tears and buried her under the japanese maple tree on our front lawn.

She wasn’t hit by a car.. and he had seen her early in the morning doing her morning yoga stretches on the front porch and she was fine. Beyond being upset, we were completely puzzled until the guy who exterminates my office building said it sounded like she had gotten into antifreeze.

Made sense.

The weather had gotten colder and I’m sure there were people in the neighborhood that put antifreeze in their cars and maybe spilled some.. hell, I could have spilled some. I don’t know.. but I sincerely doubt it was intentional. It’s just one of those horrible, hurtful things. The exterminator said that animals can’t resist antifreeze because it smells so sweet and that it can kill them in as little as 2 hours.

So let that be a lesson..

Al had had a litter of 6 kittens back in May. We kept one that we just started calling “Retard”. It’s a long story and if you’re offended then .. what can I tell you. My sandbox. But the name fit her and she was the most loving, friendly, comical, prettiest kitten you ever wanted to see.

The picture doesn’t do her justice.

She was more like a puppy, actually.. especially when I would come home from work and she would run to the door with the dogs to greet me.

About a month after we moved into the new house, she got out.

She used to follow Chief outside when he would be out there chopping wood or doing whatever.. but this time she went out the bedroom window and never came back.

We did everything that owners of lost kittens are suppose to do but nothing. Honestly, she is probably living large in someone’s house. She had no fear of people and if she wandered into someone’s yard, she would have went right to them.

that’s what I’m telling myself so don’t burst my bubble. I know everything I did wrong so you don’t have to bring that up either and it’s breaking my heart just typing this so I’m going to leave it alone.

So now we’re down to three dogs.. 1 cat.. and I pity the husband that tries to bring another animal into this house!! LoL

Now for the W.T.F!!

Believe me.. it deserves it’s own post so I’m going to run to the bathroom.. get a cup of coffee.. and set to typing!

Recap: Teen Mom 2 (catching up)

Click On The Pic To Jump Over To The Leese Files