Posts Tagged ‘VH1’

Last season, Renee had some plastic surgery done and decided that she wanted to have a full body make over. Instead of going to the gym, she likes the idea of going in for surgery and having the body she wants the next day. Bad move.

Season 2 opens with Renee preparing to have the surgery. A little off here.. a little off there.. and a tush.  After going through the skin peel with her plastic surgeon last season, you’d think she’d have second thoughts using the same dude. Especially since he looks like having an office in a strip mall would be a step up. Come on, Renee! Did you check to see if his diploma was written in a foreign language? You a stone’s throw away from Manhatten and with the bank you made during the first season, why put yourself at risk?

The recovery doesn’t go well. At all. Renee is in A LOT of pain and the meds they’re giving her (advil? motrin?) aren’t working. Her attempt at sitting up causes all the stitches in her back to open.. losing over 6 pints of blood in the process and she is rushed to an emergency room for a transfusion and later, an infection. All told, she spent 16 days in the hospital without a tush to be had.

I felt horrible for her 17 year old son, AJ .. obviously worried while him mom was IN surgery, but to see her going through what she did and almost die in the process just added more to an already heavy plate.

By only the grace of God, Renee does recover and realizes that the plastic surgery was “.. the dumbest thing I ever done.” In a conversation with Karen, she asks her not to tell the “skinny” bitches (Drita and Carla) that she should have just gone to the gym to lose the 35lbs.

Renee is also pissed that Carla, the one Mob Wife she’s known the longest, never called or visited her. Yes, she sent a text on the day of the surgery but nothing since. Renee feels hurt and that their friendship should trump any fights they’ve had in the past. One being Renee telling Carla that Carla’s boyfriend touched her in an inappropriate way.

In the mean time Drita, coming to terms with her husband cheating on her and resolving herself to divorce him, goes to the gym to take boxing lessons. She knows her behavior on the roof top with Karen during the season 1 finale .. along with the desire to make the face of the woman her huband cheated with resemble silly putty.. is not in her, nor her daughters, best interest. She wants a healthier way of dealing with her aggression. During her training session, the trainer tells her that her punch is stronger then a man’s. Was I the only one thinking that that is NOT a piece of info Drita should have?

But in an attempt to try to put the past behind her, Drita texts Karen and basically says that she things they should meet and talk about what happened. Don’t quote me here but I think Drita may have even said she was wrong to act the way she did. I also think she mentioned something about making amends for the sake of their daughters.

Karen, at the time, is having lunch.. or drinks.. or lunch and drinks.. with her “cousin”, newest Mob Wife Ramona Rizzo. Although not related by blood, Karen and Ramona have been friends since the crib so they refer to themselves as cousins. Karen reads the text aloud and Ramona right away starts telling Karen about all the rumors she’s heard about Drita putting Karen on her ass. Karen then relays the rumors SHE’s heard about Drita putting her on her ass.

So what does this fairly intelligent author do when confronted by rumor? Believes them, of course.

She assumes that the reason Drita is holding out the olive branch is because Renee is going to have a party to celebrate the fact that she didn’t die after surgery and made Karen promise not to start shit with Drita.  Karen believes that Drita knows Karen will be at the party and that her text is being cowardly.

Renee had also called Drita about the party.. and also to tell her that she wasn’t going to invite Carla. Renee had resumed therapy with a new therapist.

I have to say here that I feel horrible for Renee. She is so much a little girl trapped in the body of a woman who doesn’t know.. and is a little afraid.. to be who she IS, not who she was TOLD to be.

She’s extemely hurt by Carla’s non-actions. The therapist agrees that Carla ignoring Renee’s ordeal shouldn’t slide, he asks her what she intends to do about it. Break her jaw and have it wired, of course! Um.. no. How about just not being near her was the therapists suggestion.

.. so Renee calls Drita and tells her about the party. She also tells her that she isn’t inviting Carla and that Karen will be there. Drita mentions that she and Karen need to talk but Renee, again, makes HER promise to not have any rumbles at the party. Drita agrees. Then goes have drinks.. or lunch.. or lunch and drinks.. with Carla to tell her of her non-invite.

Carla insists she wasn’t aware of how bad off Renee was. No one contacted her. Drita reiterates that SHE was instructed to NOT tell anyone of Karen’s condition. So what’s a girl to do? Why, call Renee a bipoar bitch.. that’s what.

The day of the party comes and Drita is going alone. No back up.

Karen is taking her fri-ousin, Ramona who insists that Karen CAN’T (hand slap) BE (hand slap) NICE (hand slap). Apparently there are issues between Drita and Ramona, too. If there wasn’t, why have Ramona on the show in the first place, right?

Drita gets to the party first and is standing by the bar when Karen and Ramona come in. Karen says something to Drita about Karen being the last person she’d want standing behind her.. or something like that. I’m doing this from memory so forgive me.. Drita moves away.

Renee enters the party fashionably late wearing a dress that reminded me of the green JLo dress. Only Renee’s is shorter in length and not so neck plungy. She looked good though.. She’s all excited and exclaiming how she didn’t know she had that many friends :: but.. um.. didn’t you invite them all? :: She also see’s the big smile on her ex-husband Junior’s face and explains that even though she was done with him, he was there for her and had her back.

Dying to make trouble Ramona tells Karen that Drita is avoiding her like the plague. Karen says that out of respect for Renee and her party, she wasn’t going to start anything with Drita. Not being one to back down from anything, I’m surmising that Drita felt the same way.

She wasn’t running FROM Karen.. she was avoiding knocking her on her ass. Get with the program, Ramona!

Even though Renee made both of the promise to stay out of each other’s way, she gets annoyed when she see’s them on opposite sides of the room.. staying out of each other’s way.

Like.. WHAT??

So she does what any delusional person does.. she gets on the microphone and calls “her girls” on stage. Karen readily joins her but Drita.. well, Drita knows herself.. and knows that Renee is fucking nuts.. so instead of going up on stage, she goes out on the balcony.

Karen sees this as a slap in the face.. that Drita is making it known that she has an issue with Karen.

Like.. WHAT?? Can you be anymore full of yourself, girl?

In interview, Drita says that what Renee did was wrong. And I agree. You asked them to stay away.. they stayed away.. and then you want to put them together?

Anyway… Drita is joined on the balcony by Big Ang.

I have no words to describe Big Ang.. you’ll just have to be witness to her yourself. Plus, I don’t want to run the risk of her tracking me down!! LoL .. half LOL anyway!

Drita tells Big Ang that her and Karen fell out and that she wants to talk to her to try and make amends. Big Ang go back into the party and asks Karen to go out on the balcony and talk with Drita.

She goes.. along with Ramona.

When Renee sees this, she worries that one of them will be flipped over the balcony.

Next Week: Brawl on the balcony… Ramona with a bloody mouth.. Renee screaming to go home and Junior punching a car window. 



Karen.. Drita.. Carla.. Renee

.. When Mob Wives first premiered on VH1 last year, I’ll admit I rolled my eyes. You know me.. I’m all about reality shows but growing up an Italian in South Philly during the 80’s hayday of bubble gum gangsters and daily mob hits during Federal trials I was like.. yea, no thanks.

But during the 4 days I had off over the Christmas holiday, VH1 put the whole first season On Demand and because I was able to stay up until 3 or 4 am without worrying about dragging my ass out of bed for work.. and because I had already watched everything I wanted to watch.. I took the plunge.. and was hooked.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait too long before the second season premiere on January 1st.

If you have a love of reality shows.. and the way over the top woman on them, then watch Mob Wives. If you won’t have the background that I have you might find them a little on the unbelievable side. But I guarantee you.. they’re attitudes and way of thinking are very, very real.

Renee is a trip and a half. Very old school in terms of loyalty and respect and family. Very tough exterior but in true cancer fashion, very soft on the inside. In Season 1, Renee struggled with that old school thinking.. The mob’s hayday has long since passed and Renee was having a difficult time living in the here and now but thinking like back then. She also was still clinging to the piece of her heart belonging to her ex-husband and seeing a therapist because of depression and self-esteem issues.

What I like about Renee is that even though her attitude can be trying and her ways of thinking a little more than left of center, she lets everything show.. warts and all. How many other reality show mavens would allow themselves to be shown on camera after a skin peel? A very painful looking.. raw and bloody skin peel?

Not to many..

My other favorite Mob Wife is Drita D’Avanzo.

Drita puts the BAD is BADASS. But again, attitudes are deceiving. Yes, she can drop you on your ass faster than she can pull off her stilettos but as a mother of two young girls, she realizes her actions will have a negative impact on them. But sometimes, your past is the only thing that people remember..

Drita is Albanian.. the daughter of immigrants whose family sort of disowned her when she married Lee D’Avanzo.. an Italian with a little bank robbing hobby. It’s sad that Lee went away to prison when their oldest was little more than an infant.. and sadder still that his family wasn’t enough reason to keep his nose clean. He went back to prison before their youngest child could form a memory of him. This isn’t  lost on Drita.. who remained faithful and committed to him and their marriage until the end of Season 1 when she found out he had been cheating on her the last time he was a free man.

I don’t know.. I like Drita. She also wants to break free of the mold she cemented herself in.

Next up there’s Carla Facciolo.

Like Drita, the father of Carla’s 8 year old twins is in jail. But Carla is moving on with her life. She’s dating and doing “her”, as she puts it. Carla doesn’t have as big of a personality like the other three and the decision to have her on the show is sometimes lost on me. But as quiet as she is.. as nonchalant as she comes off.. there is something going on there underneath. She’s just not as bold about it.

With her babies daddy being released from jail and mandated to a half way house, Carla should have more meat in Season 2. Figuratively .. no literally.

Well.. maybe that too!

Finally there’s Karen Gravano.

While the names Graziano, DAvanzo and Facciolo may not mean anything to you.. but I think I’d be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t heard of Sammy, The Bull, Gravano .. the man who turned canary and brought down John Gotti and the Gambino crime family.

Karen is his daughter.

Moving west after what went down with her father, Karen now wants to write a book about growing up the daughter of an underboss to ratted. Um.. an interesting read? Jury’s out. No pun intended.

Anyway.. Karen heads back to Staten Island in order to do research for her book even though there are people like Renee Graziano who think she needs to just stay where ever the hell she was. That was in the first 15 minutes of the first episode of season 1. Renee and Karen are now besties because they both understand honor and loyalty. Ok.

Karen also was the long time live in girlfriend of Lee D’Avanzo. Name sound familiar? Read a few paragraphs up. He’s now Drita’s husband.

So at the end of Season 1, we find Drita and Karen have an all out slug fest because of things in the past not said and not done. Renee and Carla had had a hair pulling fest because of Carla’s boyfriend that is still an open wound with both of them. Renee decided it was finally time to let go any fantasy she had with rekindling anything with her ex and Drita sees a divorce attorney because her husband’s infidelity left her feeling like a woman who’s waiting close to a decade for a man feels when they find out he’s cheated.

Season 2 began January 1st. Recap soon.

Yes.. I do mean the alcoholic drug addicted red head from the Partridge Family.

You guys are going to love this one..

NOTE: I have 45 minutes until I have to drive Spaz to school so I’m going to have to type REALLY fast .. cause this is a long one.

Ok.. so currently, Danny Bonaduce hosts a local morning show. Funny as shit.. if you can stream it, do so. Anyway, I usually have it on when I drive Bubba to school.

Not to make this too complicated.. because there’s a lot to type .. I remembered that he had once had a show on VH1 called Breaking Bonaduce which centered around his addictions and his marriage :: he has divorced since the show ended :: and so I downloaded both seasons from iTunes and watched them all back to back in a single day.

It was both painful to watch.. sad.. and all the other adjectives that escape now because I was once married to a bipolar alcoholic and there were moments when I was either going GRRRR!!! or OMG! I LIVED THAT! or WHY CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT YOUR DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR IS DOING??

Of course, there were other times when I was yelling at my laptop monitor at his then wife saying YOUR A FUCKING BITCH!!

But the one thing that I took away from it .. which I really didn’t expect so it was kind of an epiphany .. was that people are who people are and you can’t force someone to change into what you want them to be. There was a moment played that I thought.. yknow, you want her to do this that and the other and react in this manner or that manner and that’s JUST. NOT. HER.

It seemed that in his mind, he had a fantasy or ideal on the perfect wife and since she wasn’t capable of being that, it all crashed and burned.

Ok. Remember that because it plays into the reason for this post.

Since I haven’t been blogging, you guys don’t know what happened at the beginning of December.

You know Bubba and his refusal to accept school as a necessity and he spends his day there either being disrespectful to his teachers and refusing to do classwork and no doing homework.

We’ve tried communicating with his teachers to email us with his homework so WE would know what was going on but that was hit or miss and there was really no way to go AH HA! YOU LIED! YOU DO HAVE HOMEWORK! without anything to shove in his face as proof.

Things kind of came to a head and Chief’s immediate response was to ground him. My immediate response was to forward the teacher’s emails to the Crack Whore.

When Bubba came home from school that day, I told him that his father was grounding him and he got all bent out of shape. He doesn’t get that it’s HIS actions that are causing the problem. In his world, he can do whatever he wants.. when he wants.. and there shouldn’t be any reprecussions.

He then went on a whiny tale about how our focus is always on the negative and there is never any accolades for when he does something right. You know.. positive reinforcement.

NOTE: Those are my words. Bubba can’t even spell anything past 4 letters.

So, ok. I told him that I’d give him a shot. That I would talk to his father and get the grounding lifted ONLY FOR THE WEEKENDS. But during the school week, he has to come right home.. do his homework and then he’s in. No roaming the streets with his posse.

Mind you.. I believe that that’s how it should be anyway. But I’m obviously old school and my belief that giving a kid too much liberty isn’t a good thing falls on deaf ears.

Cause, you know.. his kids have SUCH a good track record :: if I could physically have that sentence drip with sarcasm I would ::

At any rate..  Chief comes home from work and he doesn’t even want to discuss anything because he’s so sick and pissed off at Bubba’s behavior.

Wonderful. Great parenting skills there Bucky.

But then, I get an email from the Crack Whore. She’s fuming at his behavior also and is coming over after dinner to take his laptop away. She isn’t going to reward him for bad behavior and since she was the one who bought the laptop.. well, she has every right to take it from him and pawn it off at a pawn shop because she needs money for Christmas as a punishment.

Needless to say, that didn’t go over well with Bubba. He flat out refused to give it to her and started calling her all kinds of names.

It’s not that I felt bad for him .. but I wanted to try in some way to get through to him the importance of school and doing what he’s suppose to do so I told him that he had a month until his birthday :: in fact, today is his 15th birthday :: and if he did what he was suppose to do .. if he started taking school seriously and did his work and home work and didn’t blow off tutoring and raised his grades, I’d get him a new laptop for his birthday.

I told him that I didn’t expect straight A’s .. but I wanted the effort.

He seemed to perk up with that and the following day, he showed me the 1800.00 Alienware computer that he wanted. Instead of telling him YOUR FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND .. I went along with it.. mentally figuring what it would take to get him it.

Inside, I knew he wasn’t going to hold up his end of the deal. And that might have been wrong but this kid has GOT to learn there are consequences for his actions.

Plus, I know people.. if you know what I mean.. who can get me stuff like that at a really cheap price.

No more will be said about THAT!! Heh.

So a month goes by and he does nothing. I mean nothing with a capital N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

Doesn’t do his make up work during Xmas break.. doesn’t go to tutoring.. doesn’t do his homework.

So on Tuesday, during the drive to school, he asks me if he’s getting the computer.

I ask him if he thinks he deserves it and he says that he thought so because the time when his teacher had to wake him up IN CLASS he didn’t freak out on her.

I wasn’t even going to go into THAT.. I told him he wasn’t getting it because he didn’t hold up his part of the deal. That didn’t sit well with him and so he told me that he wasn’t going to do nothing in class this weak. I told him if thought that was a threat towards me then he was more of an idiot then I thought.

But it didn’t sit right with me.. that he would get an additude with me.. that he was twisting it around to make it out to be my fault and that I went back on my word.

My word is a BIG thing to me and I’m not going to let some pissant 15 year old take advantage of me, my heart and my good nature.

I relay this to Chief and he’s just as upset that he thinks not doing work is a punishment on us.

Bubba doesn’t come home for dinner that night.. in fact, he stays out until 9:30. I ask Chief what he’s going to do about it and he asks me what he SHOULD do about it.

Great parenting skills there, Bucky.

So Bubba comes home and basically Chief tells him that he’s suppose to come home right after school everyday.. Bubba says nothing.

Then Chief calls him out on his “not doing work” comment and says, “.. what are you 5?” Bubba says he guesses.

Then Chief tells him to go eat dinner.

And that was that. No more. No punishment. NO hollaring. No beating him over the head with a stick.

And I’m not a happy camper because his kids are the way they are because of him and his inability to be a parent.

So yesterday comes around and I try to get out of the store before Bubba comes in and I don’t make it.. and as soon as he comes in I feel like all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room.

So I run across the street to get cigarettes and when I get back, I’m rushing around to get what I need so that I can leave. In a hurry.

Bubba.. who hasn’t said a word to me since the drive to school on Tuesday, asks me if I would give him a ride home.

I said No.

He asks why.

I said because I didn’t want to.

He says that that’s fucked up.

Yes. He did say “fucked up” .. and yes, he father did hear him say that and no, nothing was said to him about if from his father.

Whole other story there.

My response is “whatever” .. because this is exactly the same way Bubba acts when asked to do something.

I walk in the back to get my keys and Chief says to me, ” .. what’s the big deal about driving him home?”

If looks could kill he’d still be smoking. Right then I felt the steel doors slam down in my brain and my emotions get iced up.

I did an about face without saying a word to Chief, grabbed my bags and said to Bubba, “… get in the car, your father said I have to drive you home”.

And I left.

No good byes.. no kiss.. no “I love yo” … I just walked out.

Chief followed after me and as I was getting in the car, I said to him, “.. you better tell your son to get his ass out here because I’m leaving as soon as I get the car started.”

Bubba came out and I drove like I was Vin Diesel in The Fast and The Furious the whole BLOCK AND A HALF home.

I slam my brakes in front of the house and I tell him to tell Bird :: who was in my house :: that I’d be home in a few minutes.  Which, of course, he doesn’t.

He takes a shower and leaves.

I’m all kinds of amped. And I’m all kinds of royally pissed off at Chief. I felt that knowing what the situation was and that I actually SAID NO to driving the lump of lard home.. that he should have backed me up and told Bubba to walk.

I felt like.. once again.. he had no regard for MY feelings. Which of course, led me down a path of picking apart everything in our relationship and how most times I feel unappreciated and taken for granted.

Let’s face it.. he’s not around his kids a lot and I am basically a non-parent with a primary parent role. And I’m starting to resent it. Especially because they have absolutely no respect for me or for anything I say or ask or want.

And let’s face it… he’s not a good parent. That’s been well documented.

So to avoid the inevitable confrontation where I KNOW I would say things to just purposely hurt him, I went to sleep. I cooked dinner and kept it warm and told Spaz that I didn’t feel like eating and that his father could plate everything and then I went into the bedroom and pulled the covers over my head.

When Chief came home, I pretended to be asleep. He kissed me on the head.. had dinner with Spaz and then came back into the bedroom. I had to go pee really, really bad so I didn’t have a choice but to get up to go to the bathroom.

My plan was to just go to the bathroom and then hang out in there and read the book I have in there :: men aren’t the only ones who do that! :: but when I got in there, there was no toilet paper and piss all over the floor.. from Bubba.. because I don’t think he even holds it when he pees.

So I stomp out of the bathroom.. into the bedroom.. and grab my jacket. Chief asks where I’m going and I tell him THERE’S NO TOILET PAPER AND PISS ALL OVER THE FLOOR.. and stomp out.

I grab my car keys.. can’t find my wallet :: I planned on tanking up the station wagon while I was out because I was running on fumes :: .. and then stomped back into the bedroom looking for it.

CHIEF: What are you looking for?
ME: My wallet
CHIEF: I have money
ME: Not the point
CHIEF: I know it’s not the point but I have cash on me

I didn’t reply .. just walked out.

Now, I know you’re going to think that I was being a real bitch .. or maybe even the “c” word.. but it really doesn’t matter what you think. It was what it was and everything will become clear in a minute. Just hang in there.

So I go out to the car and drive to the shop and found my wallet there. I go to the bathroom.. grab some toilet paper.. get gas and drive through Dunkin’ Donuts and got a bagel because basically, I was so hungry I had a headache.

Now.. if I was REALLY a bitch or a cunt, I would have gotten myself coffee and not gotten him any! But I didn’t. What can I say, I’m nice like that! Heh.

I go back to the house and back into the bedroom.. all the while with my iPod headphones on. He knows I’m ignoring him. He knows I’m pissed off and he knows why. Don’t be fooled. I know him like the back of my hand and just the fact that he asked me if Project Runaway was on was a tell tale sign.

But instead of asking me what was wrong.. or instead of opening up a dialog about what happened at the store with driving Bubba home OR about the conversation they had in there that I couldn’t hear but knew I was being discussed… he went to sleep.

Now.. here’s where Danny Bonaduce comes in.

Back at the top of this long ass post, I said that the problem with his marriage was that he wanted / expected things from his ex-wife that she couldn’t give. And that’s the problem with me and Chief.

I need someone who will face problems or talk about problems or be concerned about problems.. he doesn’t.

I need someone who feels free enough in a relationship to communicate. He doesn’t.

I need someone who can recognize something that’s breaking and do whatever necessary to try and fix it because it’s important enough to fix.. and he doesn’t.

Mars.. Venus.. say what you want. Defend it any way you can. Try and justify it.. but the bottom line is even though I love this man with everything I have, he can’t give me what will make me happy. He can’t do the things that won’t make me feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water. And so.. no matter how much I love him .. the whole thing is toxic.

I’m not trying to bash him here. He is who he is and isn’t going to change. I can’t keep going knowing that I will feel just as taken for granted tomorrow as I do today.

I’ve tried talking to him before :: well documented on here :: but he does nothing but get defensive or buries his head in the sand wishing problems away.

And what it all boils down to .. and it breaks my heart seams to even thing about it.. is that he was looking for “someone” .. I was looking for “him”. There’s a difference, as subtle as it may seem. A big difference.

He wanted someone who would take all the responsibilities from him .. house, kids, bills, laundry. Because lets face it, he has none of those anymore. I just happened to stick around longer then his other relationships did.

I doubt that he loves me the way I love him. I think I was just “there”.. and not wanting to go through the whole process of finding someone.. he stuck with me.

My name could be Joanne or Elizabeth or Paula or Matilda .. I don’t think he loves me because I’m Leese.

And that’s a huge blow to the ego.. A huge blow. Because let’s face it.. everyone wants to be loved for who they are .. for what they’re about.. me more then most and I think I delusion-ed myself into thinking that I was the center of his universe the way he is mine.

Coming to this realization threw down my steel door. Emotionally, I’m not attached. I know now.. that I have to get a plan together to leave this relationship and all the devastation that comes with it.

I was talking to Bird about this today and she graciously offered me her house to stay in for a few days to get my thoughts together and give him the opportunity to see what life is like without me.. I’m not taking her up on her offer because I need to do this my way in my time. So that it’s better for me.

I’m over getting upset about how the kids treat me.. how they take advantage of me.. how he doesn’t back me up.. take an active, parental role in their lives. I deserve much more then what I’ve been getting the last few years. I’ve been in hell and it’s time to get out. I don’t like being the person who isn’t always laughing anymore.. who finds life a drudgery. That’s not who I am .. but it’s what I’ve become.

Heart? Head? Heart? Head? … I need to go with my head on this one.


So has anyone caught the Reunion show yet? If not, it’s On Demand for those who have access to it :: much to my giddy-way-too-much-coffee-at-1am delight. What the hell, I can always sleep at work, right? ::

So if you don’t already know, I am DEFINATELY TEAM MINDY!

I so wanted her to win Bret’s heart and finally despell the notion that nice girls do indeed finish first… even if it’s on a reality show where the “star” :: cough cough :: is a don’t-want-to-be-a-hasbeen-anymore 80’s hair band rocker who wears more makeup then I do and comes in second to Beauty School Barbie in the faux hair department.

But Mindy loves him so I can put that aside.

NOTE: Although.. although.. Bret was looking pretty hot last night with the whole semi goatee thing going. We’ll just forget about the skinny braid that stuck up from the top of his head llike Alfalfa Gone Axl Rose

And she does. I mean, really.. really does as evident by the emotion she poured out on the Reunion show. She FINALLY poured her heart out to him. Told him how she fell in love with him.. is still in love with him.. and had a pleading in her eyes that said, “… you made a mistake now please make it right”

Or maybe that was just the 1am coffee rush I was on.

But I don’t think so.

I think Bret knew, too. That he had made a mistake.. he said to her that if she had said those things to him on the road.. after the was pushing and pushing and pushing for her to open up to him.. that things would probably have been different.

And their kiss? O. M. FRACKIN’ G. I’m sure Taya was watching from the Green Room cracking walnuts in her ass.

Honestly, from what I’ve been reading on the web, the only person who thinks he made the RIGHT choice in choosing Taya is… well… TAYA.

When she finally took the sofa next to Bret, she was NOT the Taya on the show. She was full of this arrogant confidence that was like “AH HA! I WON BITCHES”.

I mean, even the host-guy :: don’t know his name but he shows up on alot of VH1 Reality Shows :: told Bret that he made a mistake.

I’ll say this again in Mindy’s defense.. and which is clearly evident if you go back and re-watch the last few episodes .. she couldn’t get the words out because she didn’t want to get hurt.

Look, unless I missed it, HE never told HER that he was falling for her. Now I know me.. and I know my scars.. and I don’t think I would have been able to expose my heart like that knowing that there were other women he was definately interested in. She even said herself that she never wins at the love game.. and when you beat yourself up that much, you tend to think that nobody you love will love you back.

I think for Mindy, it stopped being just a reality show.. her heart was real.. her feelings were real.. and the fear of being rejected was real also.

I kept hoping that Bret would pull a Bachelor Move.

NOTE: I don’t remember Dude’s name or watch the show but he was the one that got all the press because he picked one and then on the reunion show, flipped the script and picked the runner-up.

I was soooooo hoping that he would do that because Taya .. well, you have to watch it .. but she did NOT come off in a good light and really didn’t seem all that interested anymore.

Mind you.. and to be fair.. they hadn’t seen each other or whatever in a few months and we all know what it feels like to be caught up in the moment and then when reality sets back in, things change.. feeling change.. or your perception of the other person changes.

I normally don’t get THIS caught up in shows like this. Honestly, I don’t. Aside from mindless entertainment, I really could care less about the outcome on any show I watch but in this case.. this was different.

And if I could say something to Mindy, it will be that she is more gorgeous on the inside then on the outside.. that she has a beautiful heart and a wonderful soul.

I have a gut feeling that Bret will be changing his mind and realize that Mindy is everything he said he was looking for.. hopefully, he won’t be too late!