Posts Tagged ‘WalMart’

Yea..

Believe me.. the two involved look NO WHERE near the two hot girls on the right!!

Anyway..

So I think I posted before about how Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy likes to rape my pillows. Anything with stuffing really, but my bed pillows are his Mecca because whenever I leave the house I put them away so he doesn’t get the gooshy stuff all over them.

But the other day I was being lazy and in the five minutes it took me to drive to the shop.. pick up Chief.. and drive home he went bat shit with them.

There was NO WAY in hell that I was going to sleep on them so I drove over to WalMart to get new ones.

I hate WalMart. Actually, I loathe WalMart but when you’re in need of six pillows.. can’t really afford six pillows.. then WalMart’s 2.50 pillow is a necessary evil.

NOTE: I like a lot of pillows.. Chief doesn’t.. so six meets both our needs.

So I drive over there and guess what? I guess China had to lay off a few child laborers because their pillows are now 3.98. I had to also grab cat food, shampoo and conditioner for me and body wash for the Y chromosomes in my house. I only had 44.00 to my name. So my math but me just at the YOU HAVE NO MONEY NOW threshold.

Anyway..

So I get up to the check out line where the cashier is an older women with severe alopecia. :: Don’t think I spelled that right and really am too lazy to spell check but I’m talking about the balding disease :: Working with the public, I have a soft spot with cashiers so I give her a big ‘ol friend HI! and start putting the pillows up on the counter.

She tells me that I don’t need to PUT ALL THOSE PILLOWS on her counter and I was like, ok… she’s being a little rude but whatever.

She asks me how many I have and I tell her six. I could have told her four.. she would have never known.. but that’s stealing and I don’t steal so I told her the truth.

Her eye-roll wasn’t helping me deal with her rudeness but again, I let it go. It’s WalMart after all.

She gives me the total :: 43-something.. Whoosh! :: and I asked her if she had bags big enough for the pillows.

That was actually a redundant question because the line next to the one I was in had bigger bags folded over the cash register wall.

But the bitch said NO. YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO CARRY THEM.

And I was like.. WTF? So I said, “.. you don’t have any bags that the pillows would fit in?” She again says no and I gave her my OWN eye roll :; which was more deadly then hers :: and pointed to the bags hanging on the other cashiers wall. “.. what are those?”

If she was smart, she would have apologized and said something about maybe forgetting about them or whatever but I guess she figured she was committed and was intent on following through with her denial so she gave me the LAMEST excuse about THOSE bags not being HER bags and she wasn’t ALLOWED to use them.

Oh. So you’re telling me that I’m buying six big ass pillows and as a customer I’m not ALLOWED to have them in a BAG? Why do you SELL things that you don’t have BAGS for??

She kind of gave me this look that I interpreted as “.. so now what, bitch”

The line behind me had grown and people started to get that antsy body language that most people standing in line at WalMart get so I said, “… take them off.”

She was like, “What?”

I said, “If you don’t have a bag to put them in then I don’t want them.”

She said, “.. but I already rang them up”

I said, “.. then take them off.”

Because what I know.. that she didn’t think I knew.. was that when they have to void something.. a manager has to approve it and I’m sure the thought crossed her mind that if she had to call her manager I was going to tell the manager just why I didn’t want the stupid pillows and that would get her in trouble.

I could see that very scene playing across her face so she said, “.. well, I guess you could use those bags.” Meaning the ones on the other register. And I was like, “Nope. I don’t want them now. Void them.”

The people behind me were really starting to grumble now and she tried to get stern with me, “USE THE BAGS.”

“DO THE VOID”

So she had no choice but to do the void and when she rang for the manager and when the manager came over and started the void process, I made sure I told her exactly why she was doing the void. She was half paying attention but when the void was finally completed, I guess it dawned on her what I was saying because she was like, “WHAT?”

Yep. I told her again.

She looked at the women and asked her why she would do that?  That that was ridiculous. And then she apologized profusely to me saying that they don’t have a “bag” policy at the cash registers. I said that I didn’t think so and how hard it would be to carry the six pillows into the house without making three trips.. she was all over it. Saying how she knew that..especially because one end of the pillow bag is open. So I feign resignation and tell her that now I had to drive to the OTHER WalMart a few towns over because I really need the pillows but I’ll be sure to mention how helpful and understanding SHE (the manager) was in my letter of complaint to the corporate office.

I think that made the hair start growing on the cashiers head.

The manager was all over herself and told me on the sly that if I took the pillows to the customer service desk, she would make sure that I got 2 of them for free.

Believe me.. I wasn’t looking to get ANYTHING for free.. I was just pissed off at the cashier who didn’t want to be bothered putting six pillows in bags.. but I did what the manager suggested and got my free pillows.

You can rest assured that I will NEVER go into WalMart again.. but if I absolutely HAVE to then I will seek out the bald cashier and get into her line.

Because. yknow.. If you’re going to think I’m a bitch then I’m going to give you a reason.

Last night.. when I was still giving Chief the cold shoulder.. I was in the bedroom watching :: what the hell was I watching? :: something when I heard Chief and Spaz in the kitchen and something BIG move.

He comes into the bedroom and tells me that while he was on the desktop computer, he saw a mouse stick it’s head out from under the fridge so he pulled it out and it dived through the 1″ hole he had drilled for the ice cube maker’s water line.

Actually.. he said.. there were two. So he put a sticky trap under the fridge and moved it back.

I HATE STICKY TRAPS.

I may not want mice in my house but I have heard horror stories of what happens to mice on sticky traps and really, I don’t want the things to suffer. I just want them to live a nice, quiet, happy life somewhere else.

Preferably the annoying neighbors next door.

He tells me at the VERY FIRST SIGN that the sticky trap was inhabited, to come get him where ever he was at and he’d take care of the situation. Shop.. Bathroom.. Shower.. anywhere.

He’s trying to get back on my good side.

Ok.

So this afternoon, I get home from working my shift at the shop.. stop at WalMart for another hamper and then to the super market to pick up pork chops and egg noodles for dinner.

NOTE: The chicken was fantastic, btw.

When I come into the house, Spaz is right up on me telling me that we don’t have a mouse issue anymore.

ME: Um.. why’s that?
SPAZ: Because Ernie caught one.
ME: (gulp) WHAT?
SPAZ: Yea. I saw it on the floor in the hallway and thought it was poop but when I picked it up it had a tail. It was wet and it’s head was a little flat.

Ordinarily, I become HIGHLY upset at the thought of Spaz growing up to be a serial killer but right then and there I almost fell on my knees in praise of the good Lord above that this kid isn’t afraid of picking up a dead mouse.

NOTE: Um.. I’m just going to pretend that I DIDN’T give thought that he did anything else to the mouse between picking it up and putting it in the trash can.

So I mention to him that his dad told me he saw TWO mice last night.

SPAZ: No details! No details! I’m not giving you any details! It’s just gone. That’s all I’m saying about it.

I have to tell you that I was relieved. Almost a little giddy. So I call Chief up and tell him about the mouse and that I couldn’t believe that ERNIE caught it. Like, was this little dog SO outdone that there’s another “baby” in the house that he’s going to hunt mice too?

Chief starts laughing and says something about how Ernie likes to chase things and that he was probably just trying to play with it and accidentally killed it… like the guy from Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men”.

ME: Oh, btw. Spaz told me about last night and the other mice
CHIEF: See! See! I TOLD him not to say anything! What was I suppose to do, hun? Just put it in the trash aliv
ME: Um.. Uh.. Spaz only told me that there was another one and that he wasn’t going to give me any details.
CHIEF: Crap. I just busted myself.

But I don’t care.. because, you see, I’m giddy because my problem was solved. The two mice that I had in my house are gone. I don’t have to worry about turning on every single light in the house and stomping a few hundred times to scare them before walking anywhere in the house… I don’t have to worry about one running around in the bathroom while I’m using the facilities.. and I certainly don’t have to worry about peeing in a Dunkin’ Donuts cup in the middle of the night because I’m too afraid to risk running into on in my pajamas.

All is right in my world.

Until.

Until.

UNTIL…

I come into my bedroom, sit on my bed and fire up the laptop.

Bella is laying down on the floor on the door side of the bed and Ernie takes refuge under the bed on the window side of the bed near the radiator.

I hear him tearing something apart.. Ernie is ALWAYS tearing something apart.. so I tell him to knock it off. Whenever Ernie is reprimanded, he goes into “grovel” mode.. so he jumps up on my bed with his head down and belly crawls so close next to me that he’s almost under my t-shirt.

And then I hear it.

And so does Ernie.

The distinctive tearing of something somewhere under the radiator.

His ears perk up and he dives from the bed and tries to force his nose between the wall and the radiator.

I don’t want to look. I’m ready to put a ice pick through my inner ears.

There’s another mouse.

IN MY BEDROOM.

A very active mouse from the sound of it.

Ernie’s presence means that the damn thing has quieted down and for all I know, made it’s way around the room and out the bedroom door.

But I will tell you this.

I am NOT getting off my bed until Chief comes home… in about 3 hours..

Oh.. and Ernie can forget about his damn kisses!!

… the name of our new kitten!

Wasn’t my idea.. she came with it.

I would post pictures of her but she’s hiding out in the kitty condo I got for her so black cats in dark holes don’t necessarily make for good pictures. But I’ll get them.. I promise!

So anyway, Bird brings her over on Thursday around 2:30. For some reason.. and I still don’t know what.. she comes knocking on the BACK door and the dogs just go absolutely insane. I wanted the poor kitten to have a more zen arrival but.. well.. that didn’t happen.

Bird puts the carrier on the kitchen floor figuring the dogs would sniff at it or whatever but nope.. they were only interested in barking at the top of their lungs. Ernie even pulled out the I’M-REALLY-A-PITBULL-BE-SCARED-OF-ME bark.

Anyway.. so not long after Bird got there, I had to go pick up Spaz from school. He asked me to when I dropped him off because it’s starting to get chilly and I haven’t been able to find him a heavier jacket yet. So Bird and I pick him up and when we get back to the house, he asks if he can hold Pretty.

Bird takes her out of the carrier… Ernie right away sticks his big black nose in her face… Pretty jumps out of Bird’s arms and dives behind the corner of the sectional sofa.

Ok.. she’s scared, let her be a little. Sounds reasonable, right? Yea.. except letting her “be” caused her to get stuck under the radiator.

I mean.. STUCK under the radiator.

Bird starts freaking a little.. Spaz wants to call the fire department for the Jaws of Life and I’m all you got to be kidding me, right?

So I pull the one side of the sofa out.. tell Bird to grab her from the front and I’ll just start pushing her ass forward. It worked.. we got her un-stuck but now I had to go around every place in the house where she could possibly wedge herself and either block it or stuff it or tape over it or weld over it.

In the meantime, Bird forgot to bring over the litter box so we leave Spaz with Pretty and run over to Kmart. Bird prefers Kmart over WalMart and even though it’s further, I wasn’t going to split hairs with her.

I get the litter box with the top thingy.. I get a scratching post.. I get this condo thing where she can hide out in and two containers of clumping litter that doesn’t clump the way it’s suppose to but I can deal with that. Knowing how I am there’s no way in HELL that that box will have even the slightest chance of smelling.

We get everything home and I set Pretty up on the table in the back porch. I figured that was a good spot because the table is high enough for Ernie NOT to be able to jump on it and it will provide Pretty with a sense of protection and safety.

Bird leaves :: taking Spaz with her :: with instructions that I should hold Pretty off and on so she gets used to me being the Momma. No problem.. I’m all about holding baby animals.

We kind of leave her to herself on Thursday. Chief and I had somewhere to go and didn’t get back until late and Bubba was just home doing whatever he does when he’s home alone :: don’t ask ::

Friday morning, I kind of felt bad leaving her on the back porch so I moved her condo to the living room and put it up on the electric fireplace so she could at least be in another room.. stare out the window.. stare at the fish tank.. SOMETHING.

I hold her for awhile before taking Spaz to school and going to the shop for my shift.

I get home around 2:30 and Pretty is just fine. Still in her little condo. In fact, things are SO fine that Ernie didn’t even destroy her scratching post. Although he has become even BIGGER black hole of love and affection.. constantly throwing himself across your body like a sack of potatoes whining “.. but I’M the baby!”

We let Pretty be until Chief comes home. He takes her out of her condo and is cuddling with her and letting her walk on the back of the couch.

It’s funny to see her interact with Ernie. One of the main reasons why I wanted HER is because she’s already used to dogs. So when Ernie would poke his big black nose towards her she would stretch out her paw at him and he would jump  back about 2 feet. Then do it again.. and again.. and again.. we were laughing our asses off.

At some point, I thought that maybe she needed to either use the litter box or get something to eat or drink. I wasn’t sure whether she would remember where it was to I picked her up and brought her back to were her digs were and she jumped out of my arms and went right in to do her business.

Good sign.

When neither Chief nor I could keep our eyes open, we went into the bedroom to go to sleep and he suggested I take Pretty in the bedroom with us just so she can get used to us more and know that she’s allowed in our room. We put her on the bed with us and of course, Ernie has to crawl in between me and Chief and when I turned on my side Pretty cuddled up in the crook of my legs.

It was sweet and I fell asleep rather quickly.

Chief went to work without waking me and when I got up Pretty was gone.

Right now, I can’t find her.

I looked in her condo.. looked in the bedroom.. looked in the living room.. looked all over. I know she’s somewhere but I’m not too worried about it because she’s vocal so if she’s somewhere she can’t get out of she’ll let me know.

So all you cat people out there… help me out here.

What should I expect.. what am I doing wrong.. what should I do differently.. what can I do to make this the happiest cat ever! LOL!