For Whom The Bell Tolls…

Oh.. and it’s going to toll for Bubba in the morning, I’ll tell you what!!

I didn’t have a chance to go through my emails today .. the landlord is coming over on Tuesday with the county licensing people so I wanted to make sure everything was the way it’s suppose to be.

Anyway.. I got this email about 4 hours ago from Bubba’s teacher:

Hello,

Here is the email that I sent to [Bubba’s] mother just a few minutes ago.

[Bubba] had a rough few days to end the week. I am sending you the exact same information that I sent to her since I am not 100% sure who [Bubba] is living with at this current moment in time

[Bubba] had a few incidents on Thursday that I am going to explain to you first. He had an off day in almost every class. His morning started with him showing up late to school. When he got to first block he fell asleep and was snoring loudly. He was finally woken up by his teacher and asked to go out on a pass. She told him to do his work since he has been sleeping and then he could go out on a pass, he got upset with her and didn’t do much work. In his second block he locked another student in a closet and was also found with silly string. There was silly string sprayed all over the hallway before second block…no one saw [Bubba] doing it but he did have a can of it on him (as far as I know no one is making a big deal out of this). He then got to my class (where I actually didn’t know any of this had happened) and he moved his seat away from distractions which I thought was good. The students were then working on some proportion problems and [Bubba] did nothing, even when I did the work on the board he wasn’t doing much. I then caught him shooting rubber bands at another student across the room. I believe his last class was fine.

On Friday we did Fun day so the 9th graders spent most of the day in the gym doing different games. He sat in the gym without a problem. When the students went back to their classrooms for a little before we had a pep rally (it was homecoming) [Bubba] walked into his room and handed his teacher a piece of paper that was covered in brown paint. He told her “they didn’t have any toilet paper in the bathroom” and placed it on her desk. Needless to say she did not find this humorous.

I will say that [Bubba] has been doing wonderful in his afternoon sessions with me (which I had to cancel Thursday due to a meeting) but his effort in my actual class is dropping. He is pretty much doing nothing in my room. I just wanted to keep you updated on what happened because he definitely had a few issues. I am hoping, along with [Bubba’s] other teachers, that this behavior does not continue in the future. Let me know if you have any questions.

Nice, right? So everything about what Weed was saying :: that the Crack Whore allows him to do whatever he wants to do .. that he’s on the computer all night.. that he has no supervision, etc. :: is true.

I was over at Bird’s house earlier so when I came in, Chief was already asleep and given the density of his snoring, he isn’t going to retain anything if I wake him up and tell him about the email .. so I’ll tell him in the morning.

I can’t tell you what he’s going to do… I can tell you what he’s going to SAY .. I can tell you how he’s going to go off on a tangent about how she’s nothing but this or that.. AND I can also tell you that he’ll say that to ME but I’m not sure what exactly he’s going to DO about it or what he’s going to say to HER.

I’ll have to update you tomorrow on that..

I’m not going to lie and say that I want Bubba back here. My house has been calm .. and clean.. and Spaz has been actually benefiting from not having the constant torment.

I’m not going to lie and say that I have the same feeling for Bubba that I did before. He’s not my kid and I don’t have to love him. I don’t have to care about him or his needs.

But I will tell you that that isn’t beneficial to anyone.. and because he isn’t my kid, I really can’t say too much about where he lives or what Chief decides :: or doesn’t decide :: to do about it.

If he does come back here.. and if he WAS my kid :: which it wouldn’t be because I would have NEVER let things get so out of hand :: I would take him to school.. pick him up from school and banish him to his bedroom. I’d even camp out in front of it if I had to.. no video games.. on computer.. no laptop.. no fucking nothing. Call me old-school but that’s the way I was raised and I think my parents did a pretty nifty job!

So I’ll just have to go with the flow and manage the damage.. and if it takes me having to run the store so Chief can be home in the afternoons to keep an eye on him then so be it..

Because, after all.. he’s HIS kid.. not mine.

Feel free to comment.. especially if you’re a step parent to a problematic teenager. Is there something more I should be doing? Do I have the right to feel the way I do?

IF LIFE WOULD STOP I’D HIT THE PAUSE BUTTON PART FIVE – Tuesday

Right off the bat, the day didn’t start off without some kind of something.

Chief had to go to the wholesalers early so I had to stop and get my own coffee and cigarettes. I was in line at the local convenience store and who do I run into?

Spaz’ teacher.

We have this NICE.. LONG.. conversation about him and his behavior and every I suspected was dead on. He wasn’t not feeling good the day before or ever but they have to send him down and they know it. So does he.

I thought yesterday would be a little better. Especially because I downloaded The Offsprings “Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace” and Kings Of Leon’s “Only By The Night” albums from iTunes.

Buying music usually puts me in a good mood.

I called Chief and told him that I had to stop and pay the rent. He asked what was for dinner and I told him I had no clue. He suggested I swing by the Polish butcher’s near my job for kielbasa. I told him I would and if they were closed then I’d go to the regular market BUT I wasn’t going to stop at the store.. I was going to go right home to start dinner.

He was fine with that.. as he said, “.. You have way too much to do but won’t admit that it’s too much”.

So I did all that but when I got to the house, Spaz is there still in his school clothes. So I asked him why he didn’t change and walked into the kitchen with the bags and started getting dinner ready.

He asked again for the telescope and I told him he wasn’t getting it until he proved he was responsible… and considering that last night he took a shower and DID NOT change his underwear does not prove anything other then he’s a pig.

I said again something about Child Youth Services again and he said that the Crack Whore only said that to scare his dad.

WHAT?

WAIT.

WHAT?

OMG.. I fucking went off the chain. I said, “Scare him? SCARE HIM? Scare him into what? Getting YOU to change your underwear? Getting YOU to take a shower when your suppose to? Getting YOU to do what your told to do? Why didn’t she try scaring YOU instead of your father. That man doesn’t do a DAMN THING and this is what he gets.”

OMG.. I can’t even begin to tell you how torqued I was.

And then it all came out.. how Chief has to be there for them because he’s their father but I CHOOSE to be here because I love them.. I told him that I NEVER talk down about her to him but I was going to tell him something that if it hurt his feelings then oh fucking well.. I told him that the only reason why she’s pushing the issue is that she wants the child support money not necessarily the child.

I told him that she lives 3 blocks away.. if she really wanted you around then why didn’t she take you on the weekends? There’s no custody agreement.. all she has to do is ask Chief but she never does. She lives 3 blocks away.. ON THE WAY HOME FROM SCHOOL .. why doesn’t she ever tell him to stop in after school?

I told him that if she called CYS.. then I was calling DEA. I have WAY too many friend who are federal agents in all areas of the federal government… IRS, ATF, DEA, CIA .. :: sometimes it’s good being me :: and I will reign hell down on her if she continues to fuck with my family.

When Chief came home, we ate dinner and when he went into the bedroom I followed him and told him about the conversation I had with Spaz.

I said that I was under the impression that the nurse was going to call… he didn’t say anything. Nothing. So I don’t know if whatever…

Anyway, I had to run to the store to buy Spaz 130 pairs of boxer shorts and when I came back :: all of like 30 minutes later :: Chief was asleep.

And there he remained.

All night.

I watched something at 9. Can’t remember and almost go through all of Real Housewives of New Jersey before conking out.

Thinking about everything today.. I really do believe that I am done with all this shit. I feel distant from him.. I feel like his feelings have changed and there’s none of what brought us together left. Everything now feels fake. Like he has to kiss me.. or tell me he loves me.. because that’s what’s expected.

I just feel like I’m drifting along without a horizon in sight