16 Candles

Bubba is NOT pictured above..

Bubba turned 16 yesterday and as usual, it wasn’t without drama.

We were kind of stressing about this birthday.

Not because he would start bugging us to learn how to drive .. or because he thinks it’s some magical age that allows him to stay up to all hours of the night.. or because he now thinks he can command Spaz to do his bidding.

Chief and I were both a little thrown under because Bubba’s last 2 birthdays were kind of slighted because of other things going on.

And let’s face it, birthdays are important to people.. kids especially.

When we first started to discuss moving back in October, we told the kids that it would be better for all of us financially. And since Bubba’s birthday was then 4 months away, we did the absolute wrong thing and told him that since our finances would be better he wouldn’t have to suffer through a horrible birthday. We thought it would ease the blow a little.

Boy, were we wrong.. and boy, did it blow up in our faces.

So Friday was his 16th birthday .. a milestone.. and we have a little over 11.00 in the bank.

Not being able to have a Christmas this year and now not going to be able to have a birthday for Bubba really, REALLY brought Chief down lower then I’ve seen him in a long time. He felt like a failure.. worse then that actually.. and I, for once, was powerless to do anything.

Chief had told me he tossed and turned all night.. up.. down.. up.. down.. in.. out.. in.. out.. and a few times sobbing.

This morning he woke Spaz up for school and while he prepared him breakfast and Spaz was in the shower, I stayed in the bedroom snuggling with Ernie.

And then all hell broke loose.

I’m not exactly sure what set it off.. but I do know that it had something to do with Spaz being Spaz and his belief that the Crack Whore is the Mother of the Millenium and hearing that caused Chief to say something under his breath that Spaz heard which made Spaz say something completely disrespectful to his father.

And Chief let him have it .. telling him that at his age, he was going to hear just how great and wonderful that Crack Whore was.. and how he wasn’t important enough to her to pay 21.00 a week for his support. Spaz started crying and Chief told him that that’s exactly what he’s been doing all week because he couldn’t get anything for Bubba.. and how they are of no help when it comes to conserving energy or gas or hot water..

Did those things need to be said? Yes.

Did they need to be said in that way at that time? Um.. probably not.

But understand that what doesn’t get said at our house, gets said to them at hers.. and she isn’t one to be fair and impartial. That’s been WELL documented here.

But I couldn’t change what was going on in the living room but I knew that if Chief got to that point, he was way more stressed and depressed then I thought.

So sitting on the bed, I’m trying to figure out what I can do.. ANYTHING I can do.. and I saw the Playstation 3 sitting on the desk and it hit me.. sell the thing on Craigslist.

I like having my own PS3 .. I can play what I wanted to play when I wanted to play it without having to hear the boys complain that THEY wanted to play THEIR games… so even though it may have been an easy decision for some, it wasn’t for me.

Well.. let me rephrase that …

In the grand scheme of things, the PS3 isn’t important at all.. but there was a little piece of me that felt like, one again, I was the one making the sacrifice.

That didn’t last long.. like I said.. grand scheme of things.

So I went on Craigslist and saw how much this particular unit was going for (PS3 160gb) and posted an ad listing the selling price at a little bit under what everyone else had their’s listed for .. and I’m truly sorry about that, other sellers! I just needed to unload it and unload it quick.

And boy … that thing wasn’t up for 5 minutes before I started getting bombarded with texts and emails. I had never sold anything on Craigslist before so really wasn’t prepared for the onslaught.

But to make a long story short, I wound up selling it to a guy who lived on the opposite end of the city so we had to drive like a half hour or so to meet him. He was a really, really nice guy and when we spoke on the phone I thought I understood that he was looking to buy it for HIS kid’s birthday which, you know, made me feel even better that I was selling it.

Turns out, he was buying it for himself for HIS birthday but anyway.. it was a great experience..

We decided that instead of buying Bubba something, we would just give him money. He’s always going to movies with his friends or the mall and this way, he would have his own cash to do what he wanted to do with it.

For our birthday’s, Chief makes us a special dinner of all our favorite foods.. so this past Christmas when we received an Omaha Steak gift package from my brother and his family, I told Chief to hide the Filet Mignon. Bubba LOVES them and I figured we wouldn’t be a position to buy them come January 21st.

Good idea on my part!

So Chief made the filets.. I made the bacon cheddar mashed potato puffs that he loves.. we had asparagus and we also make a 4 layer peanut butter chocolate cake.

As we sat down to eat, Bubba tells us that we didn’t have to worry about getting him a gift. He’s 16 now and didn’t need material things. He also said that he had heard Chief and Spaz’ argument that morning.

I was proud of him for saying that.. but also felt bad that he had to hear what he did so I told him that what had happened that morning shouldn’t have happened but we had it covered and not to worry.

Chief was impressed with his maturity about the situation also..

We wound up having a great dinner and he probably more appreciative of our gift then he let on.. afterward, he went over to the Crack Whore’s.

When he returned, he knocked on our door and told us that the Crack Whore said that if Chief wrote her a letter, she would give him 400.00. The letter proving that she had paid some of her back child support.

Before he could say ANYTHING, I piped up and said, “.. No. Tell her she has to put it through the courts.”

Bubba said that the Crack Whore told him that if she didn’t give Chief the money, it would take three weeks before he got it.

Chief said it wouldn’t. It would only take two days to process through the court.

I then said to Bubba, “.. Look, if she doesn’t put it through the court she could get into a lot of trouble. She’s already in a lot of trouble and even though we could really use the money, you have to do things the right way.. the responsible way.. to make things right. It’s a life lesson.”

Mind you, I could give two hoots what happens to the Crack Whore. I only said what I said because I really don’t appreciate the fact that she has these conversations with her kids and not with Chief and at least one of the “adults” in their lives has to come across as reasonable and not vindictive.

And too.. you know.. I don’t trust her as far as I can throw her. She takes every opportunity to use our misfortunes to her advantage. What’s to stop her from saying that she gave more then she really did.. or alter the “letter” or reproduce another one?

But I digress..

The whole point is that Bubba is growing up.. maturing in ways that three years ago I wouldn’t have thought possible. It’s a wonderful thing to witness and I’m proud of him!