Last night.. when I was still giving Chief the cold shoulder.. I was in the bedroom watching :: what the hell was I watching? :: something when I heard Chief and Spaz in the kitchen and something BIG move.
He comes into the bedroom and tells me that while he was on the desktop computer, he saw a mouse stick it’s head out from under the fridge so he pulled it out and it dived through the 1″ hole he had drilled for the ice cube maker’s water line.
Actually.. he said.. there were two. So he put a sticky trap under the fridge and moved it back.
I HATE STICKY TRAPS.
I may not want mice in my house but I have heard horror stories of what happens to mice on sticky traps and really, I don’t want the things to suffer. I just want them to live a nice, quiet, happy life somewhere else.
Preferably the annoying neighbors next door.
He tells me at the VERY FIRST SIGN that the sticky trap was inhabited, to come get him where ever he was at and he’d take care of the situation. Shop.. Bathroom.. Shower.. anywhere.
He’s trying to get back on my good side.
Ok.
So this afternoon, I get home from working my shift at the shop.. stop at WalMart for another hamper and then to the super market to pick up pork chops and egg noodles for dinner.
NOTE: The chicken was fantastic, btw.
When I come into the house, Spaz is right up on me telling me that we don’t have a mouse issue anymore.
ME: Um.. why’s that?
SPAZ: Because Ernie caught one.
ME: (gulp) WHAT?
SPAZ: Yea. I saw it on the floor in the hallway and thought it was poop but when I picked it up it had a tail. It was wet and it’s head was a little flat.
Ordinarily, I become HIGHLY upset at the thought of Spaz growing up to be a serial killer but right then and there I almost fell on my knees in praise of the good Lord above that this kid isn’t afraid of picking up a dead mouse.
NOTE: Um.. I’m just going to pretend that I DIDN’T give thought that he did anything else to the mouse between picking it up and putting it in the trash can.
So I mention to him that his dad told me he saw TWO mice last night.
SPAZ: No details! No details! I’m not giving you any details! It’s just gone. That’s all I’m saying about it.
I have to tell you that I was relieved. Almost a little giddy. So I call Chief up and tell him about the mouse and that I couldn’t believe that ERNIE caught it. Like, was this little dog SO outdone that there’s another “baby” in the house that he’s going to hunt mice too?
Chief starts laughing and says something about how Ernie likes to chase things and that he was probably just trying to play with it and accidentally killed it… like the guy from Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men”.
ME: Oh, btw. Spaz told me about last night and the other mice
CHIEF: See! See! I TOLD him not to say anything! What was I suppose to do, hun? Just put it in the trash aliv
ME: Um.. Uh.. Spaz only told me that there was another one and that he wasn’t going to give me any details.
CHIEF: Crap. I just busted myself.
But I don’t care.. because, you see, I’m giddy because my problem was solved. The two mice that I had in my house are gone. I don’t have to worry about turning on every single light in the house and stomping a few hundred times to scare them before walking anywhere in the house… I don’t have to worry about one running around in the bathroom while I’m using the facilities.. and I certainly don’t have to worry about peeing in a Dunkin’ Donuts cup in the middle of the night because I’m too afraid to risk running into on in my pajamas.
All is right in my world.
Until.
Until.
UNTIL…
I come into my bedroom, sit on my bed and fire up the laptop.
Bella is laying down on the floor on the door side of the bed and Ernie takes refuge under the bed on the window side of the bed near the radiator.
I hear him tearing something apart.. Ernie is ALWAYS tearing something apart.. so I tell him to knock it off. Whenever Ernie is reprimanded, he goes into “grovel” mode.. so he jumps up on my bed with his head down and belly crawls so close next to me that he’s almost under my t-shirt.
And then I hear it.
And so does Ernie.
The distinctive tearing of something somewhere under the radiator.
His ears perk up and he dives from the bed and tries to force his nose between the wall and the radiator.
I don’t want to look. I’m ready to put a ice pick through my inner ears.
There’s another mouse.
IN MY BEDROOM.
A very active mouse from the sound of it.
Ernie’s presence means that the damn thing has quieted down and for all I know, made it’s way around the room and out the bedroom door.
But I will tell you this.
I am NOT getting off my bed until Chief comes home… in about 3 hours..
Oh.. and Ernie can forget about his damn kisses!!
LIVING ME 101 