Knock.. Knock… Guess Who’s Back!!!

… and boy has it been a while!!

So where do I begin? I guess I should start with where I’m at now and work back to how I got here and if that in itself isn’t a testament to what faith does for one, then honestly I don’t know what would.

Ok.

RIGHT NOW:

We moved into a new house this weekend. Same area but better town. This is the kind of place we were looking all over Pennsyl-tuckey and West Virginia to find. Small secluded house.. wood burning fireplace.. long drive way.. large, fenced in yard.. way cheaper rent.

It looks bigger on Google Earth but this kind of gives you a rough idea:

Red Line = the entire property

Blue Line = the house (front porch, enclosed back porch and florida room)

Yellow Line = the driveway

Green Line = the in-ground pool and deck

Now don’t let the green eyed monster start to attack. We’ve been going through hell and high water since April and after a lot.. and I mean A LOT of prayer.. this place kind of fell in our laps.

The owner is moving to another state to be near her daughter and turns out that she wasn’t going to be able to take her dog with her. And like our prayer was answered when we found her house, HER prayers were answered when we told her we’d keep her dog .. a beautiful lab/setter/coon hound mix who is so laid back, gentle and quiet you don’t even know he’s around. Pics of him to come later.

BACK THEN:

If you read the last few posts you know that I was having issues with powers that be in the old town we lived in. I realize now that there issue wasn’t so much that we had had a generator but that we were sustaining on our own. We didn’t need anyone and weren’t looking for hand outs and that bothered them.

When we couldn’t have the generator anymore, we started using car batteries for electricity. I know how that sounds and I’ll have to elaborate at a later time but basically we had car batteries that kept our lives fairly normal.

NOTE: Fairly normal meaning fairly normal for us. We are SO not traditionally normal!!

We had internet.. could charge the laptop, cell phone, ipods, etc.. we even watched tv although not for long stretches. We had light via rechargable camping lanterns or oil lamps.. cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner on a camping stove and took hot showers daily by using propane. We food shopped daily and what we could store for short periods, we did so using coolers.

And look.. yes, it was frustrating at times especially during the summer when the heat index hit 104.. but we cooled the house down the old fashioned way and used 12v fans connected to car batteries at night and on those days when we thought the dogs health was in jeopardy, we got a hotel room and snuck them in for the night.

But it is one thing to try and stay cool during the summer and another to keep warm during the winter. We knew we would have to move before the cold weather started and thanks to God, we were able to.

Now we have electricity and I can’t begin to tell you the joy of buying a gallon of milk again.. or frozen vegetables!!

The whole electricity issue wasn’t the only reason why we moved.. the house we were in was literally falling apart. The roof has so many leaks.. the basement still floods.. and the landlord still isn’t doing anything about it. Mind you, we were paying 1400.00 a month and the junkies in the ghetto were living better. So yea.. time to move on.

A few other things going on with the usual suspects:

Chief has some kind of health thing going on. He was hospitalized for a week over Memorial Day weekend but after every single test known to man, they couldn’t find out what was wrong with him. He’s still having issues and was back in the ER yesterday morning in more pain then I’ve ever seen him in. Luckily.. if there is such a thing.. it was only a kidney stone trying to pass through his system. I’ll save the whole “size” jokes until after he feels a little better.

Spaz shot up a few inches and isn’t shaped like a beach ball any longer. He turned 13 over the summer and seems to have matured a little. That or he’s away from the influence of his two older brothers. I have to say that he did take not having electricity better then I thought he would. He got frustrated at times.. but we all did. He likes the new house and so far he’s been diligent on keeping his room clean and not leaving dishes in the sink. Ok.. so we’ve only been here TWO days. I can be delusional, can’t I?

Haven’t seen or heard anything from Bubba since he walked out of the house back in February because he didn’t want to go back to school. Nothing. Not a word, song or dance. Father’s day came and went.. Chief’s birthday came and went.. nada. Funny thing is about 2 weeks before Chief went into the hospital, the Crack Whore told him Bubba would have to come back and live at Chateau Ghetto for a while because she *cough cough* had to move into her pimp’s boyfriend’s mother’s house and there was no room for him.

Heh. Yea. That was NOT going to happen.

I basically told Chief that I wasn’t going to stand in the way BUT I reminded him of everything Bubba did and I was not going to be housed under the same roof as him. I’d gladly go stay at Cousin Bird’s for the duration. I wasn’t being manipulative. I was being honest.

Just so happened that Chief was in the hospital when she was beating her rent and moving into Momma Pimps’ house and I oh so gladly snipped that little plan. And, of course, the first time the boyfriend flexed his pimp hand all the text messages started about how Bubba needed to stay at our place.. he was homeless.. blah blah blah. The reality was that the Crack Whore’s parents would have gladly taken her and Bubba in but they required her to NOT run the streets and stay home and parent her son.

Heh. Yea. Right.

Of course I know that all her over-elaborated stories were just figments of a drug riddled mind and Bubba stayed out of my house.

Weed is another story all together.

After completely disrespecting me and his father at one of my family member’s July 4th BBQ’s, Chief finally kicked him to the curb for good. Guess being called a fucking cock sucker in front of people he admired and respected was Chief’s breaking point. So Weed slithered back to the crack den he had been staying when he previously disappeared for weeks at a time and about a month after that called Chief’s twin brother Sarge asking if he can stay there.  Sarge agreed. Mainly because he always tries to shove in Chief’s face that he can provide better for his kids then Chief can.

Sarge has NO clue.

The day after.. or maybe two days after Weed went to live with him.. we were at an engagement party where Sarge and his wife showed up. She brought up the fact that Weed called them for help and I gave her the whole entire lowdown. Not the sob story she had been told. Her eyes got a little wider and you could see the wheels spinning but she’s too self absorbed being righteous to admit they had made a mistake. She insisted they were going to make him get a job. Yea. Good luck on that.

But Weed, being Weed, it didn’t take long for him to find himself back in the pokey for stealing a lipstick from a local drug store chain. In fact, the Crack Whore (ever the optimist .. snort.. ) remarked that it was “only” lipstick and he was just trying to impress his girlfriend.

Considering that the girlfriend also resides in the town we just moved out of, I’m assuming she would not have been impressed had Weed had a job and actually BOUGHT her lipstick.

At any rate.. no one posted the 500.00 bail and he spent a month in county jail. He’s out now, camped out on the Crack Whore’s sofa until the next time he gets arrested.

In better news.. I was finally able to find a job in May. The company I work for is BEYOND awesome. It’s doing what I’ve done before and I kicked ass from day one. The pay is great.. the bonus’ are awesome and I couldn’t be happier. Except .. it’s me we’re talking about here.. I just found out last week that the company was sold to a bigger company based down south so I may not have a job again.

Sucks. I know. I can’t tell you how many sleepless nights I’ve had. Well… yes I can.. every damn night since I found out.

What else?

Oh.

OMG!

How could I forget!!

We finally got our RV back from where we left her in West Virginia in January. Not that it was any easier getting her back here. We drove out there on a Friday and reached her at around 3am. Nobody touched her.. she started right up.. and no four legged creatures had made her it’s home. She did have more water damage from sitting in the snow and rain but we were able to catch a few hours sleep. About 20 miles into the ride to the campsite we were going to stay over at, the brakes seized and she wound up having to go to a mechanic. Very long story short for right now. We left her.. spent the night in a cabin at the campsite anyway and returned the 7 hours to our end of Pennsylvania on Sunday… only to do the whole trip over again the following weekend.

The first time we took the RV west, we drove through two blizzards. This time driving her east, we traveled through 3 torrential thunderstorms.

And you wonder why my hair is grey?

But now she’s parked safely in a storage yard around the corner from our house so all is good for her.

We also added an additional to the existing zoo that lives under our roof. Back in May, Al the cat we thought was a boy that turned out to be a girl became a woman when she had kittens. Six to be exact. We wound up keeping one, named Retard, because if you watched her you’d know that she just fits right in with this dysfunctional family! She is adorable though. Pics of her coming along with a Pages update.

So that’s what’s been going on here.. I apologize for skipping out for a while but it was unavoidable.. Now that I’m back to living like a normal person, I’ll be posting more..

What have y’all been up to and catch me up on things I’ve missed!!

Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

Who would have thought I’d remember the password!! LoL!!

I just wanted to thank everyone who allowed me my space to figure stuff out and all your kind words. Much love to those of you who busted out your Sisterhood Membership Cards and fisted pumped along with my venting!!

Anyway …

So I guess y’all deserve an update… some things changed.. some things remained the same.. some got harder.. some got easier. That’s the thing with life.. you never know!

Okay so here we go:

Bubba never did come back from the Crack Whore’s. He told her he didn’t want to live here because of the rules and she, with her Mother of The Century Tiara, didn’t see a problem with that. He did his routine of promising to do his school work and even though I continued to monitor it and sent her daily spreadsheets proving that he wasn’t, she took his side. Until the school called her and told her what I’ve BEEN telling her. She texted me and told me she was taking him back here and I told her ABSOLUTELY NOT.. this isn’t his home anymore and he wasn’t welcomed here. The locks have been changed and if for some reason he gets in, he’ll be asked to leave POLITELY at first and then by use of a little call to 911 if necessary.

Actually, no one wants him back here. One  less thing his father has to deal with … Spaz has been a lot less Spazzy .. my food bills have been almost cut in half along with the water bill, shampoo bill, electric bill and everything else. The house is actually peaceful.

He did return to regular school where I think he will be until he’s at least 25 and trying to master 9th grade. Not my problem.

She did ask for his clothes.. and I gave her everything that was clean. The majority of his clothes were dirty and still piled on his bedroom floor so I threw them out. Have no guilt about them being his “favorite” clothes. Consider that my little pay back.

I did find out that when the Crack Whore goes on her weekend get-a-ways, Bubba and his band of 16 year old misfits hold drinking parties at her apartment. Not my problem.

His bad behavior was also rewarded by her allowing him to get his driver’s permit. Her car.. her insurance. Not my  problem.

And since the child support order was nullified because each has one kid (yes, she got away with not paying the 800.00 she was in arears for) AND she recently lost her job because she was caught stealing.. I’m sure there’s going to come a time when she starts bitching for money. Not gonna happen. I control the bank account, barely giving Chief a few bucks daily for coffee or cigarettes. Not my problem.

Spaz, though, is doing well. His teacher left mid-semester and was replaced by a male teacher. This is the first time Spaz has had a man leading the classroom and he really had a positive impact on him. The teacher and I have actually formed a friendship and it’s great to know that there are still some teachers out there who insist on using a red pen!! The teasing is still going on and has gotten progressively worse. So much so that Spaz has been reverting back to his old behavior and I went to talk to the principle yesterday. I heard the “Zero Tolerance for Bullying” speech but pointed out that while that all sounds good on paper, the fact that this kid gets teased unmercifully.. had food thrown at him in the lunchroom.. has horrendous rumors started about him and these kids aren’t reprimanded in anyway because they are in Emotional Support class tells me that their zero tolerance is bullsht. Fortunately, Spaz’s teacher agreed with me.. even going as far as stating for the record that nothing he does to control them is working.

We’ll see where that goes..

Weed is still living with us but it’s turned into a non-issue. He is trying to find a job but his past keeps catching up with him. I do give him a little money for doing things around the house that I really don’t want to do .. mow the big ass lawn .. clean out the attic .. that kind of stuff. He usually negotiates a payment that is WELL below what I initially intent on giving me but that will be our little secret!

What else…

Well, Alfonz the cat.. that I originally thought was male …and then was told was fixed.. is now pregnant and about to have kittens. I’m still trying to convince myself that her bulging belly is just a tumor.

We started converting to alternate methods of energy but that’s a post all on it’s own. You wouldn’t BELIEVE it even if you were here so you’ll have to trust me on that!

For the first time in like, a hundred years, I went on a job interview last Monday which resulted in another interview this past Friday. It was all pretty damn positive so I may be gainfully employed soon. Fingers crossed for that one since it means I’ll be more financially independent and can move along with the plan.

So I think I took up about as much of your time as I should … I promise I’ll get back to regular posting. I know you missed it!! LoL .. I’ll also catch up on YOUR blogs.. because I’ve missed it!

Thanks again for all your support .. it meant the world to me.

What If It Did?

… so after moving over the posts from my old blog to this one :: click on the Old Blog tag in the cloud on the left :: I came upon this little gem from Nov 11, 2008.

And it made me sad.

There’s a lot of buzzing going around in my head that I’m trying to figure out.. reading my old stuff made me start thinking that something has to change.

For good.. or for bad.. it has to change.

You can read it HERE if you’re bored.. or can’t sleep..

Men Are Stoopid!

Well.. not ALL men.. just MY man.

Yes, it’s 7:30am and yes, I’ve been up all night so maybe I’m just cranky.

Anyway…

No these are not my hands... my nails don't look that good!

So last week we had to buy Spaz new school pants. I think I posted about it. 1 pair a size 36 that fit and 1 pair a size 34 that didn’t?

Sound familiar?

Well.. anyway.. I had hemmed the pair that fit with that iron on sticky tape and specifically told Chief NOT to put them in the dryer or the sticky stuff would unstick.

What did he do?

Put them in the dryer.

That was so big of an issue though because we had taken the pair that didn’t fit back to the store and exchanged them for a bigger size on Thursday ..

Meaning Spaz would clean pair to wear on Friday .. then with the long weekend, I had plenty of time to hem both pair.

The idea was that I would go over to my cousin’s who is an ace seamstress AND has a sewing machine and she would hem them the proper way so we didn’t have to worry about this EVER again.

The only problem was that she wasn’t going to be available until Monday night.

Still.. no problem, right?

Hellooooo … you DO read this blog, right?

Friday morning when Chief was getting Spaz ready for school.. and the new pants we bought were too long.. my wonderful, smart, common-sensed husband decided to cut them.

And not just cut them.. CUT THEM TO THE RIGHT LENGTH.

Meaning .. how the @#$$%^& were they supposed to be hemmed????

Ok.. we’ll just let the ace seamstress figure this one out right?

Yea.

No.

Because the ace seamstress cancelled on me.. and no one gave these pants that needed to be hemmed a second thought until about 6:06 am this morning when Chief jumps up out of bed and says, “… OMG!! I have to hem Spaz’s pants!!!!”

Did I mentioned that it snowed last night and that the school are opening 2 hours late?

Must have blocked the whole SNOW thing out, huh?

So me.. being me.. wide awake and bleary eyed from playing Zuma Blitz all night.. tells him to go back to bed and I will hem the pants.

I knew the one’s I had previously hemmed weren’t going to be a problem.. nice, creased bottoms that just needed stitching. Did it.. didn’t take to long.. didn’t look great but what the hay .. black on black no one will notice.

But then… OH BUT THEN.. I get to the second pair.

A weird shade of khaki that my rainbow spools of thread didn’t match.

Well.. a shade a grey was close enough and they were going to be at the bottom so who cares. I sure didn’t. Not after being up all night.

Second issue .. the cut-right-where-the-hem-is-suppose-to-lay hatchet job Chief laid on them.

Ok.. let’s just see how much room I have to work with.

I take my trusty tape and measure the inseam on the first pair.

23″

Wait .. this kid with the 36″ waist ONLY has a 23″ inseam? This kid is wider then he’s long..

I should just buy cargo shorts because I wouldn’t even have to bother with a hem.

But I digress.

I measure the inseam of the cut pair.

21″

Wait .. 21″???

Houston, we have a problem.

How the HELL am I suppose to hem them… and WHY the HELL didn’t Chief just roll them under  instead of cutting them on Friday?

Questions of the universe that will never be answered.

The only thing I could do was roll the bottom as small and tight as possible and stitch as close to the bottom as I could.

It actually didn’t look that bad but you never know what Spaz is going to Spaz over so he might be the only other person in the universe that notices the thread doesn’t exactly match.

And if he does…

Brother, I’m going to give Chief the hairy eyeball!

OR

Make him hem the next pair.

That’ll teach him!!

Spaz: Part I

No.. tis is not Spaz. This is kid is far too small to be him!

… so yesterday afternoon Chief tells met hat we have to pick up more school pants for Spaz.

At the beginning of the school year, the Crack Whore bought him tan linen pants to wear as part of his uniform.

Yes.. I said LINEN.

Who does that??

Anyway.. it’s not like I anticipate her doing anything that will make sense and I’m sure she mentally gave me the middle finger when she bought pants that had to be dry cleaned.

‘Cause like I said.. she doesn’t know what it’s like to be a parent 24/7 so buying pants that he would be wearing 5 days a week.. that had to be dry cleaned.. completely swirled through the void where her brain used to be.

If she ever had a brain in the first place.

At any rate.. so yesterday we went to one of the discount places in the area. I wasn’t looking to spend a lot of money because a) we don’t have it and b) his legs are far to short for the size of his waist so he winds up destroying the hems by walking on them.

The pants that he was wearing were a 34 waist. That’s Chief size. And yes, he’s 12. His weight became an issue the last three years and even though I constantly harp about what he’s eating, the amount of food that he’s eating, when he eats, etc. It’s fallen on deaf ears. I buy “healthy” things when I shop.. but even too much healthy stuff turns unhealthy and then you have the uber-chef who firmly believes that cooking everything in butter is the 11th commandment and that food = happiness, you have a recipe for a morbidly obese kid who is too young to make proper choices and an environment where there are two many un-healthy choices. And you know, there are four other people in the house who like what they like and it’s not fair to deny them because of one person.

More on that later..

Anyway.. so we buy two pairs of pants. One a size 34 and one a size 36. Both are relaxed cut so there is more room around the middle. I didn’t think there would be an issue with them fitting.

Boy was I wrong.. and what a shock it was.

The 36’s “fit”. Spaz complained that they didn’t fit but that was only because he was used to wearing clothes that were too big for him. The last lot of clothes the Crack Whore bought him were 38 pants and 2X shirts. He’s so damn short that the shirts looked like dresses and even if I hemmed the jeans they would have looked like cargo shorts.

The 34’s didn’t even button.

So last night I told Chief that he really needed to be diligent in monitoring Spaz’s food intake without making it obvious to his brother’s. He plates our food in the kitchen before bringing it out to the dining table so he has the opportunity to alter Spaz’s plate without it being obvious.

And look, he used the kitchen of both a hospital and a special needs school. He’s more versed on nutrition and dietary needs then the average person.. you just have to want to do it.

So what does he make him for breakfast? Two eggs, cheese and pork roll on a croissant. My arteries seized just thinking about it.

He knew he screwed up though.. especially after I happened to come across a piece of paper from the school that documented Spaz’ height, weight and BMI.

Guess what? The kid is 62.5 inches tall and a whopping 187.4 lbs.

Really.

All I could say was “wow” when I saw it and I waved it in Chief’s face and said DID YOU SEE THIS?? WHEN DID YOU GET THIS?

Apparently it was sent home in Spaz’ school folder.

And then I went over again how dangerous.. soo dangerous.. this is for the kid. Diabetes run’s in Chief’s family, number one but he’s open to all kinds of health risks.. all types of mental issues.. hygiene issues.. you name it and I pleaded with him to stay keep it in mind when he’s cooking.. when Spaz asks if he can get a soda or chips off the front porch..

We were on our way to the supermarket when I stated AGAIN the need for this kid to eat better.. get more exercise.. there’s no reason why he can’t walk home from school. Granted, mornings are a different story but in the afternoon? Chief said things will be different in West Virginia. I told him that that’s three weeks away.. do you want to give him the opportunity to gain MORE weight in three weeks?

With all that in mind, we made sure we bought more fruit then usual.. more sugar free and no fat snacks.. things that I could take from their container and put in the cookie jar and there would be no evidence that what he was eating wasn’t laden with sugar and fat. Individual containers of apple sauce was a good buy.. even trail mix and nuts. Animal crackers were also surprising low in fat and sugar. Plain oatmeal that we can add bananas or cinnamon to ourselves. We also bought fruit bars instead of ice cream.. Oh… and hummus and pita bread (I cut them up and popped them in the oven to be used for dipping) .. things that are healthier for you tends to be more expensive but you have to do what you have to do.

Spaz eats out of boredom.. I’ve been saying that for years. Plus, he’s food obsessed. He’ll ask what Chief is making him for breakfast right after dinner. The first question out of his mouth when we either walk in the house or he walks in the house is “.. what’s for dinner?”

Tonight, we had chicken for dinner with corn and oven roasted potatoes. About a half hour after dinner, Spaz knocked asked me where the Saltine crackers were. Why, I asked. He said he wanted cheese and crackers. Some how.. he found the can of spray cheese. I hate that stuff. Chief likes it so he hid it behind the cat food. Somehow, Spaz found that but didn’t see the big box of crackers right in front of him.

I told him that we had JUST finished dinner.. he said he was still hungry. I told him there was fresh fruit and dried fruit and all kinds of other things that he could eat as a snack later on.. it was too soon to eat now. He hemmed and hawed and I told him that he could have a snack now or later but then that’s IT. Of course, he wanted it now and so I pulled three crackers out of the sleeve and squirted about a dime size dollop of fake cheese on each one.

That’s it, he whined.

Take it or leave it, I said.

He took it.

He didn’t like.. but it is the way it is and he needs to get used to it.

I also mentioned to Weed on the sly to keep an eye out on Spaz after we go to sleep in case he sneaks out into the kitchen. His bedtime is 10.. ours isn’t much later.. but Weed is usually up to the wee hours.

Look.. I know how hard it is to be an overweight child. I know how hard it is to be an over weight adult. But I also know that if he doesn’t learn how to eat properly now, he’s leaving himself open for a lot of hardship later on.

If any of you have any suggestions, they’d greatly be appreciated!!