Posts Tagged ‘Spaz’

Bubba is NOT pictured above..

Bubba turned 16 yesterday and as usual, it wasn’t without drama.

We were kind of stressing about this birthday.

Not because he would start bugging us to learn how to drive .. or because he thinks it’s some magical age that allows him to stay up to all hours of the night.. or because he now thinks he can command Spaz to do his bidding.

Chief and I were both a little thrown under because Bubba’s last 2 birthdays were kind of slighted because of other things going on.

And let’s face it, birthdays are important to people.. kids especially.

When we first started to discuss moving back in October, we told the kids that it would be better for all of us financially. And since Bubba’s birthday was then 4 months away, we did the absolute wrong thing and told him that since our finances would be better he wouldn’t have to suffer through a horrible birthday. We thought it would ease the blow a little.

Boy, were we wrong.. and boy, did it blow up in our faces.

So Friday was his 16th birthday .. a milestone.. and we have a little over 11.00 in the bank.

Not being able to have a Christmas this year and now not going to be able to have a birthday for Bubba really, REALLY brought Chief down lower then I’ve seen him in a long time. He felt like a failure.. worse then that actually.. and I, for once, was powerless to do anything.

Chief had told me he tossed and turned all night.. up.. down.. up.. down.. in.. out.. in.. out.. and a few times sobbing.

This morning he woke Spaz up for school and while he prepared him breakfast and Spaz was in the shower, I stayed in the bedroom snuggling with Ernie.

And then all hell broke loose.

I’m not exactly sure what set it off.. but I do know that it had something to do with Spaz being Spaz and his belief that the Crack Whore is the Mother of the Millenium and hearing that caused Chief to say something under his breath that Spaz heard which made Spaz say something completely disrespectful to his father.

And Chief let him have it .. telling him that at his age, he was going to hear just how great and wonderful that Crack Whore was.. and how he wasn’t important enough to her to pay 21.00 a week for his support. Spaz started crying and Chief told him that that’s exactly what he’s been doing all week because he couldn’t get anything for Bubba.. and how they are of no help when it comes to conserving energy or gas or hot water..

Did those things need to be said? Yes.

Did they need to be said in that way at that time? Um.. probably not.

But understand that what doesn’t get said at our house, gets said to them at hers.. and she isn’t one to be fair and impartial. That’s been WELL documented here.

But I couldn’t change what was going on in the living room but I knew that if Chief got to that point, he was way more stressed and depressed then I thought.

So sitting on the bed, I’m trying to figure out what I can do.. ANYTHING I can do.. and I saw the Playstation 3 sitting on the desk and it hit me.. sell the thing on Craigslist.

I like having my own PS3 .. I can play what I wanted to play when I wanted to play it without having to hear the boys complain that THEY wanted to play THEIR games… so even though it may have been an easy decision for some, it wasn’t for me.

Well.. let me rephrase that …

In the grand scheme of things, the PS3 isn’t important at all.. but there was a little piece of me that felt like, one again, I was the one making the sacrifice.

That didn’t last long.. like I said.. grand scheme of things.

So I went on Craigslist and saw how much this particular unit was going for (PS3 160gb) and posted an ad listing the selling price at a little bit under what everyone else had their’s listed for .. and I’m truly sorry about that, other sellers! I just needed to unload it and unload it quick.

And boy … that thing wasn’t up for 5 minutes before I started getting bombarded with texts and emails. I had never sold anything on Craigslist before so really wasn’t prepared for the onslaught.

But to make a long story short, I wound up selling it to a guy who lived on the opposite end of the city so we had to drive like a half hour or so to meet him. He was a really, really nice guy and when we spoke on the phone I thought I understood that he was looking to buy it for HIS kid’s birthday which, you know, made me feel even better that I was selling it.

Turns out, he was buying it for himself for HIS birthday but anyway.. it was a great experience..

We decided that instead of buying Bubba something, we would just give him money. He’s always going to movies with his friends or the mall and this way, he would have his own cash to do what he wanted to do with it.

For our birthday’s, Chief makes us a special dinner of all our favorite foods.. so this past Christmas when we received an Omaha Steak gift package from my brother and his family, I told Chief to hide the Filet Mignon. Bubba LOVES them and I figured we wouldn’t be a position to buy them come January 21st.

Good idea on my part!

So Chief made the filets.. I made the bacon cheddar mashed potato puffs that he loves.. we had asparagus and we also make a 4 layer peanut butter chocolate cake.

As we sat down to eat, Bubba tells us that we didn’t have to worry about getting him a gift. He’s 16 now and didn’t need material things. He also said that he had heard Chief and Spaz’ argument that morning.

I was proud of him for saying that.. but also felt bad that he had to hear what he did so I told him that what had happened that morning shouldn’t have happened but we had it covered and not to worry.

Chief was impressed with his maturity about the situation also..

We wound up having a great dinner and he probably more appreciative of our gift then he let on.. afterward, he went over to the Crack Whore’s.

When he returned, he knocked on our door and told us that the Crack Whore said that if Chief wrote her a letter, she would give him 400.00. The letter proving that she had paid some of her back child support.

Before he could say ANYTHING, I piped up and said, “.. No. Tell her she has to put it through the courts.”

Bubba said that the Crack Whore told him that if she didn’t give Chief the money, it would take three weeks before he got it.

Chief said it wouldn’t. It would only take two days to process through the court.

I then said to Bubba, “.. Look, if she doesn’t put it through the court she could get into a lot of trouble. She’s already in a lot of trouble and even though we could really use the money, you have to do things the right way.. the responsible way.. to make things right. It’s a life lesson.”

Mind you, I could give two hoots what happens to the Crack Whore. I only said what I said because I really don’t appreciate the fact that she has these conversations with her kids and not with Chief and at least one of the “adults” in their lives has to come across as reasonable and not vindictive.

And too.. you know.. I don’t trust her as far as I can throw her. She takes every opportunity to use our misfortunes to her advantage. What’s to stop her from saying that she gave more then she really did.. or alter the “letter” or reproduce another one?

But I digress..

The whole point is that Bubba is growing up.. maturing in ways that three years ago I wouldn’t have thought possible. It’s a wonderful thing to witness and I’m proud of him!

... because it NEVER is, huh Spaz?

.. so Spaz’s behavior problems have been VERY well documented on this blog but let’s see if I can keep it on the short side:

  • Constant habitual lying
  • Tantrums
  • Being disrespectful and rude
  • Sassy mouth
  • Bad attitude
  • Abandonment Issues
  • Low self esteem

I think that about covers it. His baggage is so heavy that he’s on a behavioral IEP (Independent Education Program) at school meaning that he’s in a “special” class and receives both individual and group counseling three or four times a week.

He’s been in this type of class since before I came into their lives.

He also has issues with authority .. being told what to do .. taking responsibility for his actions .. coping.. filtering what comes out of his mouth and knowing his place as a 12 year old.

A whole witch’s cauldron of things that brewed from the adult equivalent of a Perfect Storm.

So right on the heels of the whole weight issue and good eating habits issue and trying to find pants that fit him issue, I get a phone call from his counselor. While I’m trying to walk into the house carrying about 10 bags of groceries on my arm.

I like both his counselor and his teacher. They both sincerely have his best interests at heart.. try to work with him and his behavior.. and appreciate the fact that we are active parents who want to work WITH them instead of making him their problem. Believe me, I know of other kids where their parents could care less and sorry.. but I just don’t understand that.

So anyway, she calls. And when she calls I know that Spaz has gone above and beyond his own level of what I call a “brat” .. believe me, I could call him worse but I usually reserve those words for people over the age of consent.

I can tell from her voice that she’s upset. Not angry.. not pissed.. but hurt. Her voice was actually quivering and I was like O! M! G! what did this kid do now?

She tells me that for the week prior to break and since classes restarted, he’s been so over the top with his antics. Rude.. disrespectful.. disruptive.. inappropriate.. ornery.. were some of the words she used. She said he’s been telling his teacher that he hated her often.. that he refuses to do the work assigned.. that he’s being disruptive to the point where other students aren’t capable of focusing on their work.. that he said he doesn’t care about doing the work assigned.. ripping up work sheets.. throwing stuff on impulse.. refusing to participate in group counseling.

She also said that today in individual counseling he told her that he wasn’t going to talk to her.. he didn’t care what she had to say and then he walked out. She had to call security because she couldn’t see where he had went and didn’t know whether he had left the building or not.

He also said something to her that was so over the bar, it prompted the phone call. She said she didn’t want to repeat what he had said.. the words themselves didn’t matter to her (I can ONLY imagine) but that it seems as though he was progressing backwards instead of forwards.

I asked her why she hadn’t called sooner and she explained that the week before school let out for the holiday, all the kids get antsy and crazed so she chalked it up to that and let it slide. She hadn’t called Monday or Tuesday because her and his teacher wanted the chance to work through Spaz’s issues with him instead of immediately calling home.

I explained to her what was going on here.. that all this probably is centered around the move. He says he wants to go.. but is he saying that because it’s what we want to hear? Is he saying it because that’s what he really feels? Does he want to move but when he thinks about it, doesn’t want to? Does he feel guilty for leaving the Crack Whore? Is the Crack Whore MAKING him feel guilt for wanting to move?

The thing is, I don’t know what the Crack Whore says to him but I know that she says things she shouldn’t. I know that her child mind cannot discuss things with the adults in the kids lives.. and she says the most to Spaz because both Bubba and Weed are of an age where they can see through her bull. Well, most of the time for Bubba anyway. I also know that she uses Spaz’s craving for her affection to her advantage and his expense. I also told the counselor about her saying that Spaz is not Chief’s biological son to Bubba but didn’t know whether that had crossed Spaz’s ears.

The only one who could answer those questions was Spaz and even though we understand his issues, he doesn’t get a reprieve from his bad behavior. I told her we would address it and she would be receiving a note of apology from him.

So I explain all this to Chief and he’s just as pissed as I was. I asked him what his punishment was going to be and he said that he was not allowed on the computer or the laptop for a week. Not to play games or watch movies or listen to music. Fair enough, I guess. This is the third time that something like this has happened and honestly, I would have stuck him in his room for a week.

Anyway.. I was in the shower when Chief went to pick him up. He has after school tutoring until 5:30 and it’s too dark to let him walk home alone. When they returned, I was in the bedroom getting dressed and didn’t actually see Spaz until Chief came in and asked me to finish dinner because he wasn’t feeling good and felt like he had to lay down.

When I went out to the kitchen, Spaz comes in making small talk and I forget exactly what he said that opened the window to what happened in school but it did and I jumped through it. I figured that Chief had already laid in to him so I was going to take a different approach.

I asked him what he was thinking.. what was going through is head when all this happened. He said that he already talked to his father about it. I said, “.. well, now your going to talk to me because I’m trying to understand.”.

I really think there is a time and a place to raise your voice and this wasn’t either.

I won’t go into the whole conversation verbatim but basically I explained to him that when hurting someone’s feeling because your upset about something is not good. And when he said that his teacher said it doesn’t bother her, I explained that she is a person. And no one like to hear those things said to them.. like he doesn’t like when Bubba says to Spaz that nobody loves him.

It bothered me when he said, “.. she’s JUST a teacher.” so I told him that teachers are the second most important people in his life because he spends more time with them then he does with his parents and regardless, he is NOT to say ANYTHING disrespectful to ANY ADULT. Let alone those who have to put up with his stuff.

I remained calm.. I tried to use examples instead of reasons.. tried to put him in their shoes at his level, so to speak..

Everything was cool until I told him that he had to write her an apology. He said he wasn’t going to do it. I said he was. He said he wasn’t sorry. I said I didn’t care.. writing her the note would make her feel better and it didn’t matter to me if he was sorry or not. But deep down, I believe he was he just didn’t want to admit it.

He asked how long the note had to be.. I told him the longer he asked, the longer the note. He stopped asking.

After dinner, while Weed and Bubba did something on the computer, I grabbed a tablet and a pen and put it in front of him. He resisted but in a way that told me he just wanted the attention. He did write it.

With that done, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He said he wished I didn’t get rid of the On Demand feature on cable (which I didn’t so I don’t understand why the living room tv doesn’t get it) because he had nothing to watch. I called him a little prince and told him his crown was crooked.

Then he started whining that he was bored. There was nothing to do. I told him he was on punishment.. him not being entertained isn’t my issue and maybe he’ll think about being bored the next time he wanted to act out.

He was getting on the verge of being flippy with me so I told him that he better get on his knees and thank God that his father was the one who issued the punishment because if it was me it would have been a lot worse.

He asked me his punishment would have been and I told him. One week bedroom arrest, no parole. He did NOT like that at all and called me mean. Well, I am mean Spaz because that’s my job. He said I used to be friendly and I told him I’m friendly when he does what he’s suppose to do.. and when he doesn’t, I can’t excuse it.. that’s just the way it is.

Not having anywhere to go with it after that, he watched tv and went to bed early.

So we’ll see what happens tomorrow and if Chief get’s the whole creme puff guilty trippy thing and let’s him off the hook.

You figure out who is who!!

Bubba .. Weed.. and Spaz

This was taken Christmas Day night at Bird’s house.

Yes.. Weed was with us.

Yes.. Bubba is really that big for 15

Yes.. Spaz could play a part in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory if he were blue.

This is the only picture that I have :: after 3 years :: of all three of them together so I thought I’d share.

.. I usually have an “Wanna Annoy Me” post every now and again but there were too many things today that just crawled up my ass so I figured I’d go easy on you guys and just enter one post.

Actually.. that’s not all together true. I just got back from the laundromat with 5 :: count ’em 5 :: hampers so stuffed with clean clothes that I’ll never get the wrinkles out to fold that multiple posts just isn’t Father Time’s hourglass.



Things that annoyed me today:

  1. I cut my bangs too short. I have this crazy curly hair that just magically shortens by 5 inches when you cut it. I usually leave it to the professionals :: which, I WAS one before I let my license expire :: but it got on my nerves so bad today that I dry cut it. This.. for all you non-professionals out there is when you cut your hair.. dry. Meaning, not wet. Meaning you just get done blow drying your hair and you can’t stand the way it fall into your face and annoys you that you grab the nearest scissors you can find and just start chopping. That’s a “dry cut”. The problem is when you cut your bangs yourself, you kind of get cross eyed. So it’s not a pretty thing to witness. So what was once a bang length down to my chin is now a bang length just in the middle of my eye. Too short. Long term baseball cap wear-age definitely in my future.
  2. Men who wear tighty-whities. I am allowed to say that out loud because Chief is among the tighty-whitie wearers and I am the one who has to launder his tighty-whities. I used to roll my eyes at the Spawn from Satan’s Ass because he wore tighty-non-whities and it just looked ridiculous but if there is one kind thing I can say about the Spawn, it’s that he spared me from looking at and having to handle stained underwear. And we all know underwear gets stained.. PLEASE don’t try to convince me that your’s doesn’t. My question is.. how are you not EMBARASSED by it? I have been know to wear underwear on occassion :: yes, I usually go “commando” :: but even then, one little thing that isn’t suppose to be there and they get chucked in the trash. Buried deep. So no one can see them.
  3. People who drive with handicap placards hanging from their rear view mirror. Because.. like.. it clearly states DO NOT HANG WHILE DRIVING. I know.. because my dad :: RIP :: used to have one. If you’re going to do that then I’m going to assume your handicap is of the mental variety and you shouldn’t be driving anyway. Therefore, I can’t help what comes out of my mouth when you decide your going to make a UTurn on a four lane highway from the far right lane, while I’m in the middle lane. Jerk off.
  4. .. and speaking of stuff hanging from rear view mirrors. What’s with all the damn plastic leis all of a sudden? Did I miss a memo? Forget to invite me to a party. Get that dumb shit off.
  5. People who think THEIR time is WAY MORE valuable then mine. You know the whole issue we’re having with Bubba and school, right? Well, I’ve been in email communication with his primary teacher and since today was report card day, she suggested that I go to the high school at 4:30 so that I can have a sit down meeting with all his teachers. 4:30. I KNOW she said 4:30. I KNOW she said 4:30 because when she said 4:30 all kinds of things started running through my head like, “Will Chief be able to close the store and come with?” .. “Do I leave Bubba home alone?”.. “Will I be able to pick Bubba up at 2:20 and then go to the wholesalers and make it back in time?” .. so yea.. I KNOW she said 4:30. So what happens? I get to the school at 4:30 and no one. Anywhere. I check the library where we were suppose to meet and it’s empty except for someone that’s somewhere in the back who won’t respond to my HELLOs or EXCUSE MEs only to make an appearance after I roamed all over an empty school :: so much for fucking security :: and happen to see the above mentioned someone in the middle of the library vacuuming. When asked the whereabouts of the teachers, she looked at me in disgust and told me that report cards weren’t going to be given out until 6… with an attitude. But no bigger then the one I was already carrying around. So I drive back to the shop fuming and then drive back to the school fuming and when finally face to face with the primary teacher, she tells me that she smugly told me that she had something to do. If Bubba’s education was NOT as important as it is I would have dropped the cow on her fat ass. Immediately.
  6. My father in law telling me he can’t believe I stayed with his son this long. That annoyed me. Maybe because it’s true and I know it’s true. Dunno. Must ponder that one.
  7. Missing school pictures. OH how that annoyed me! If you read some of my recent previous posts, you know that the Crack Whore was throwing up accolades in my direction because I sent her a message that I had Spaz’s school picture for her. Well, today, Spaz got out of school early and because .. well, I don’t really know “because” .. anyway, he called the Crack Whore and she how ever it happened, she came by the shop and took him somewhere. I was in the back.. didn’t see her.. didn’t care. BUT I figured when I got home, I better sort out the pictures because I wanted to put which ever ones in the Thanksgiving cards I got for Chief’s brother, my mom, etc. So when I get home.. there’s no 8×10. There WAS an 8×10 because I ordered and 8×10.. and even if I didn’t think I ordered an 8×10, I clearly remember the day that Spaz came home with them and pulled the 8×10 out of the envelope because I told him to put it back before his sticky candy fingers smudged it. I have a wall lined with their 8×10 school pictures so I know there was one. So I call the Crack Whore and leave a message to have Spaz call me because there’s a missing 8 x fucking 10 picture missing. About an hour and a half goes by and he calls and asks if I want to talk to him and I ask him if he took the picture. He said no.. and if there was ever a time that I could tell this child was lying it was then. The pause.. the stutter.. all neon arrows. He tells me that I didn’t order one. Now.. excuse me.. my brain cells are not swimming in anything chemical. It’s sharp as a tack so to try and convince me that I didn’t order one only inflamed me more. That and the fact that the edging that was on the 8 x fucking 10 picture was cut. And not in a straight line. We had issues with pictures before, me and the Crack Whore. Especially when she stole Weed’s prom picture. Yes. You read that right. STOLE. So I’m not putting it past her that she asked about the pictures and Spaz gave her the 8 x fucking 10. What I’m more pissed about is that she made him lie about it. So tonight at dinner, after he came home from her crack den, I told him that I wanted the picture back. That no one but me and him knew where the pack was. He started pulling his drama queen shit which further proved he had lied. So Chief gave him the opportunity to come clean saying that it’s understandable if he did because he’s just a little boy but he had to be honest about it. Which of course, made Sarah Bernhardt rise from the dead. And so I got pissed. Because I paid the $60 that I didn’t have for these pictures and I told Chief, he could call her all he wants.. she’s not going to ‘fess up to it. Because she never does. But I will tell you one thing.. in a few days that picture is going mysteriously turn up.. or I’m going to hear, “oh.. I forgot!’ or “I didn’t know you were talking about THAT picture”. I’ll bet you any amount of money on that.
  8. Supermarkets that tell you that you CANNOT get the free turkey that is owed you for spending over three hundred dollars on their discount card because you lost the receipt that says you are entitled to a free turkey because you spent over three hundred dollars on their discount card. Since my father in law is coming over for dinner Thursday, I need a fucking turkey. Because as un-traditional as Chief is.. he CAN’T have ham :: of which I have one frozen in the freezer :: on Thanksgiving. It HAS to be turkey. It’s the TRADITION. I rolled my eyes at him and said, “.. you’re fucking kidding me, right?” Which, of course, he wasn’t. So I drive over to the supermarket .. grab a frozen bird :: AND thinking that if any bird deserved to be frozen right then it was Chief’s :: and when I get to the counter I remember that I don’t have the coupon. Not only don’t I have the coupon but I realize that I have no clue where it’s at. No problem. I have my discount card on my keyring. So I run out to the car to get my keys :: yes, I put my keys in the glove box if I know I’m not going to need a damn discount card because I always lose them and my car has coded locks so it’s not like I’d be locked out. :: come back into the store only to have the cashier tell me that I need the coupon. UH-UH! I have the discount card. She says it doesn’t matter.. that she has to ring up the card along with the coupon and bedlam ensues. Because I want someone who gets paid more then the cashier does to tell me that my discount card is NOT good enough.. because if the damn card can tell them everything about everything I’ve purchased then why the hell can’t it tell them that I get a free turkey. But of course, this is the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and the crowd behind me is looking for things to impale me with so I told her that I would return tomorrow to speak with the manager. Then I went home and told Chief we were starting a new tradition and having ham, dammit.
  9. Cats that chew on a ridiculously expensive pair of boots that have been stored in the deepest, darkest depth of my closet since last winter REALLY ANNOY me. I mean REALLY annoyed me. Annoyed me so much that I started to believe that the author of “Puss In Boots” had a cat that chewed on a ridiculously expensive pair of boots and made him pay for it dearly. Or maybe that’s what I was thinking when I found my boots were chewed. Hard to tell. I was annoyed.

Well.. I think y’all had enough of my ranting for now. I still have two hampers of laundry to fold and the laptop battery is running low.

Wish me a better day tomorrow.. either that, or send me a REALLY good recipe for spiked egg nog!