Posts Tagged ‘Sleep Talkin Man’

… ANY day

As in.. you really NEED to read THIS blog everyday!!

As with most things, everybody else seemed to know about The Sleep Talkin’ Man before I did.

I happen to see a comment on one of my friend’s wall on Facebook and with nothing better to do, I checked it out.

I was LAUGHING SO HARD I WAS CRYING!!

If you haven’t heard about Sleep Talkin Man, you obviously have been under the same rock as I have .. but the deal is that this is just some normal guy who happens to say some pretty bizarre, hilarious things in his sleep.

His wife started writing them down and then recording them mainly for the entertainment of family and friends but like most things on the internet.. somebody shared it with someone who shared it with someone else and the next thing you know this couple is all over the place.

But really .. if you have the same type of sense of humor I have, then this blog really should be one of your daily stops.

Here’s a few of MY favorites:

Oh, my balls are itchy. Have you got the cheese grater?

Being in the same room with you makes me want to suck the pus out of a rancid nasty rectum

Badger tickling. Proceed with caution

Now fuck off and let me bask in the glory of being me

I’d rather peel off my skin and bathe my weeping raw flesh in a bath of vinegar than spend any time with you. But that’s just my opinion. Don’t take it personally.

I haven’t put on weight. You’re eyes are fat

Flap’s on fire. You’re flaps on fire. Chili in the vagiiiiina. I’m a bad bad boy

Ooompa Loompas don’t sing in heaven. They tidy up the clouds

Shhhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhhh. I’m telling you: your voice, my ears. A bad combination.

You’re pretty. pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty….¬†[long pause] Now fuck off and be pretty somewhere else. I’m bored.

[hand tangled in(wife’s), massaging her scalp] I’m stuck. I’m stuck. Your pubes! You got to shave.

Do you see what I mean???

Fucking hysterical.. and those are just on the first page!!!