.. And To Think I Really DIDN’T Want To Go To Home Depot!

Ok…

So after finally getting to sleep at around 4:30 this morning :: I stayed up watching two really good movies.. Powder Blue (or Blue Powder, don’t remember.. it was late) and Pathology :: Chief decides to wake me up at 9am for a trip to Home Depot to get seeds.

He’s been talking about planting a vegetable garden in the shop’s yard forever and actually started the process last week. Don’t know whether his motivation was his perceived collapse of the economy or the fact that tomatoes jumped from 15.00 a case to almost 57.00 in a weeks time but whatever.. it’s now another project that has nothing to do with either fixing my cabinet door or dining room table.

But it’s something so who am I to complain, right?

As if..

Anyway.. there’s a Home Depot really close to us and one that’s a little further. He wants to go to the one a little further because he figures that THEY would have flats of tomato plants for like, 6 bucks.

I swear he thinks it’s still 1943.

I ask him why he doesn’t just bury some tomatoes like my grandmom used to do and I got the look of death so I figured I’d just shut the hell up with being frugal and let him find out for himself that tomato plants were NOT 6 bucks a flat.

So we drive out there and when we pull into the parking lot both our chins hit our knees and glitter started shooting out of our tear ducts because there.. THERE.. all over the parking lot was THIS:

Is This Beautiful or WHAT?

The local chapter of the antique car whatever-you-call-it had their cars displayed in the parking lot today.

Chief is a major motor head. No.. wait. Isn’t that a band? I must mean GEAR head.. or CAR head.. or ROAD master or whatever you call someone who can rebuild a car with duct tape and bubble gum.

But little known fact is that I’m into cars too. No, I can’t tell you about engines.. or whatever it is that make them do the things they do but I can definitely tell you when they are pretty! And when I say “pretty”, I mean PREEETTTTYYY!!!!

And let me tell you.. there were A LOT of REEEAALLLYYY PREEETTTTYYY cars!

Love The Chocolate and Cream Two Tone

At one point, when Chief had completely drooled all over his shirt, I said:

NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS WHEN I WALK INTO A SHOE STORE, HUH?

All he could say was UH HUH.. UH HUH.. UH HUH!!

But sadly, even though I always carry my digital camera with me, it wasn’t juiced up so I had to resort to using my crappy Metro PCS cell phone camera. The pictures were better then I thought they were going to be but I wasn’t able to zoom in or take some randomly bizarre shots like I usually do.

We walked around ogling.. with me saying that my birthday was coming up and DAMN! wouldn’t I love to wake up to one of those with a big ass bow on top of the hood.

That's Chief Figuring Out How He Could Sell His Offspring To Buy It For Me

Finally, it all got to be too much so we tore ourselves away and headed across the parking lot to the Depot.

We found the tomato plants.. at 5.68 FOR ONE PLANT.. which sent Chief into a mild seizure.

I refrained from saying “.. I told you so”. Points for me.

So we went ahead and started looking at the seed packets and wound up with tomatoes, onions, lettuce, romaine, peppers, basil, rosemary, oregano, carrots and something else. Oh.. cabbage.

We also bought those little seed starter trays and a hoe.

No jokes about buying a “hoe”, please. I said them all yesterday when he first mentioned it.

Oh.. and another thing. Just a side note. If you’re thinking about buying the Topsy Turvy things.. yea. They don’t come with dirt OR seeds. Really. They don’t. Your just paying for the plastic thingy that hangs up. Consider it my public service to you.

This one gave me GREASE flash backs

So the whole shabang .. including the cheap hoe.. cost less then 20 bucks. So his cheap ass was happy and my don’t want to spend any money on this crap anyway ass was just as happy.

We had to pass the cars again on the way out of the parking lot so we ogled some more and then made our way home.

The plan was to stop at the shop and set up the seeds and stuff but he figured it would give him something to do tomorrow when the shop is slow so we just came home.

And then I spent the next hour and a half emailing the pictures from my crappy phone! Here’s the rest of them but let me warn you.. I saved the best for last!!

The RED one!

This is an Edsel. The worse car ever made but EVERYTHING on it was original except for one re-paint.

... really. EVERYTHING was original and only 45g miles on it. Talk about little old ladies driving to church!

Now.. I have to say before I add the following pictures that THIS car is my ABSOLUTE favorite. So if anyone feels compelled to buy it for me? I won’t turn it down!!

Bel Air. Is this beautiful or what?

Bel Air. Is this beautiful or what?

Good Stuff: OH MY GOD Is It Good!!!

… so I was over at The Pretty Project and came across this little ditty of a soap that was reviewed and described as being THE perfect soap to use if you wanted a little.. um.. EXTRA something out of your bath.

Heh.. well… Y’ALL know I’m all for anything that gives me a little EXTRA something during my bath!!!

And even though I don’t normally TAKE BATHS .. the temptation was FAR too great to not give this a try.

I couldn’t find it in any place local so I had to drive the 5 miles to the mall… then when I came home, I had to don the hazmat suit and 55 gallon drum of disinfectant and saw-all powered scrubber to clean my tub.

Don’t get me wrong.. I clean my bathtub ALL the time. It’s just that I live with BOYS… boys with cooties and pubic hairs that appear out of nowhere. Sorry.. but there was no way in HELL I was going to sit my naked ass in that tub.

So I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed … and bleached and bleached and bleached.. and Kaboomed and Kaboomed and Kaboomed.. and scrubbed some more but I still couldn’t get past the thought of sitting in THAT tub.

But I wanted to use this soap SOOOO bad…

Knowing that I needed some much needed .. um.. “relief” .. well, I don’t know about much needed .. ’cause I don’t think I needed it THAT much but still..

I WANTED TO USE THE DAMN SOAP

OBVIOUSLY the “relief” angels saw my plight. The clouds parted. .the monks sang and the brilliant idea was plopped onto my head.

GRANDMOM’S!!!

My grandmother passed away a few months ago and my mom and aunt are doing some sprucing to get the house ready to be sold. I think they’re absolutely insane because the house … being formerly owned by a 96 year old ITALIAN woman was spotless.

SPOTLESS!

Um.. you get where I’m going here???

Since there was absolutely no chance of being snagged :: mom is away for the week .. WITH the aunt :: I casually call her on her cell phone and ask her if the dishes my grandmother wanted me to have but I’ve had no time to pick up were still at the house.

MOM: They’re there. Right were I left them for you to pick up. Not that you’ve had the time (( insert major sarcasm there ))

ME: OH! But hey!! Guess What??? I HAVE THE TIME!!

MOM: Oh. How come?

ME: Just… because…. well, I do. What’s the big deal?

MOM: No deal.. just asking why all of a sudden you have time to pick them up when you never could find time before. Is it because I’m away and you don’t have to see me?

ME: No MOM!!

MOM: Hmph!

NOTE: I hate when she does the HMPH noise. And no matter how many times she does it.. I still CAN NOT help but get all indignant and tell her the truth.

ME: Ok! Ok! Do you want to know the truth? I bought a soap bar that is suppose to give you the most amazing orgasm.. ok? Satisfied?

MOM: Who do you BELONG to? My God, Leese! Of all the things you could have said to your mother, you make up something about orgasms???????

ME: Well.. you were just being ridiculous and that was the most ridiculous thing I could think of.

MOM: Bye!!!!

So now. .with my mother’s quasi-permission.. :: and less guilt, I might add :: .. I flew down to my grandmom’s faster then Vin Diesel in The Fast and The Furious and set about my quest.

And OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD!!!

It did EVERYTHING it was suppose to..

So well.. in fact.. that the first thing I did when I came home was tell Chief that we either have to built a second bathroom :: IN OUR RENTED HOUSE :: or get Bath Fitters or a new tub or SOMETHING.. DAMMIT! SOMETHING!

He so didn’t understand…