Posts Tagged ‘Pedicures’

  • … in guns, God and the constituion
  • … I just pissed off about 90% of Americans! LOL!
  • … in that nasty three letter word :: no, not S-E-X :: G-O-D
  • … that given the choice, most people would do the right thing
  • … if I don’t get a pedicure soon the Sisterhood is going to revoke my membership card
  • … there is nothing wrong with freaky sex and vibrators
  • … people with piercings, body stretchers and full on tattoos are inhabiiting a “lifestyle” and won’t be stealing your corporate job!
  • … bald men are the sexiest thing in the world
  • … there is no justification for putting ketchup on scrambled eggs
  • … everyone is entitled to their opinions. Even when they’re wrong.
  • … that Abby is the killer on Harper’s Island
  • … white chocolate is far superior to milk / dark chocolate
  • … in lots and lots of pillows on my bed
  • … if people took a deep breath everything would be ok
  • … there has to be a scientific explaination for belly button funk
  • … you don’t appreciate what you have unless you work for it
  • … the US will fuck Israel big time
  • … this country is going to fail big time and those without common sense or work ethic will perish
  • … “labels” pigeon hole people into boxes they don’t necessarily fit in to
  • … the devil created fudge caramel swirl ice cream, shrink wrap plastic and Jack Russell Mixed puppies named Ernie
  • … that nothing feels nicer then getting into a bed with clean sheets right after a shower.
  • … the only thing better then getting into bed with cleans sheets right after a shower is getting all them all twisted and sweaty with Chief!
  • … pictures of naked men will ONLY freeze my computer :: with the 19in monitor :: when my boss is walking by my cube
  • … in love over hate.. tolerance over prejudice… lifting up instead of tearing down
  • … it is our moral obligation to help those when we can
  • … ignorance and complacency is far more dangerous then radical Islam
  • … people have a right to live their lives the way they see fit as long as it isn’t a detriment to me and mine
  • … marijuana should be legalized. Really. Do you know how fast this country would get out of debt with a tax on the 420?
  • … a good book is better then any Oscar winning movie or documentary
  • … that if I ever tried to Bible Thump somebody they would thump me back harder
  • … that there is no role for Tripe in the 21st century
  • … laughing at yourself is far better then laughing at someone else
  • … I better get a cup of coffee RIGHT NOW if I want to stay awake past 2pm

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

shoes

  • I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
  • I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
  • I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
  • I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
  • I won’t wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
  • If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
  • I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him.
  • I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’ sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
  • I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
  • I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.
  • I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
  • I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $25 or $35 and worth EVERY penny).
  • I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear… nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals..

And my personal pet peeve:

Ladies… PLEASE get rid of the sandals that have a dirty foot print left on the inside OR if they are just TOO CUTE to throw away, please DO NOT take them off around other people!!