This Would Be REALLY Funny If It Wasn’t Going To Be An Excuse To Shuck Your Parental Responsibilities

Ok..

So you know that (No Longer) Weed has really taken cleaning up his act seriously. He’s been avoiding all his druggie / drinking friends except for one.. Harry Potter.

No.. not the books.

His one friend looks exactly  like Harry Potter except he has long hair. I know him and his family and they are really good people. Harry’s younger two brothers are complete fuck ups but Harry has his shit together.. works a third shift job.. is always reading something and has always been quiet and respectful.

Why him and (No Longer) Weed are still friends is beyond me but they are..

Anyway.. so Harry Potter likes to smoke pot every once in a while and (No Longer) Weed has been talking to him about stopping and even invited him to a NA meeting.. which Harry Potter went to.

Yesterday (No Longer) Weed was telling me that the Crack Whore FINALLY gave her consent for Harry Potter to use her car so him and (No Longer) Weed can go to the movies or book store or whatever when they got into an accident.

Apparently, Harry was switching lanes and there was a 2010 Black Cadillac in his blind spot. Harry is used to driving his mom’s mini van so I guess it was easy for him to miss a big black Caddy…

(No Longer) Weed said that they guy was cool about it and didn’t even want to call the cops. I thought that was a HUGE mistake but either the Caddy guy didn’t have insurance.

This is the second accident the Crack Whore’s car has been in in as many months so when he told me, I was like “.. yea, her insurance is going to go through the ROOF.”

Chief was like, “.. I said the same thing!!”

That is… if she even has insurance. Not sure of that either but although I did get a little giggle.. I’m sure this is going to yet another excuse for not paying her child support.

AND I’m wondering if she’s going to hound Harry Potter to pay for the damage. It WAS his fault and I’m sure he will want to pay for the damage but she also has to understand that he’s a kid, living at home and not making a shit load of money.. I know how she can be and I’m wondering if she’s going to cause a problem between Harry and (No Longer) Weed…

Another Weed Update.. And Hopefully The Last

First.. let me say that I would quote all the text messages that the Crack Whore sent me on Tuesday but my phone only stores 70 messages at time and she went WELL over that limit.

Thank GOD I have unlimited texting because if I had to pay one penny more on my cell bill because of that fucking cunt, three years worth of pent up frustration would have come out on her skanky ass.

So you’re just going to have to take me word on the following..

Not that I would lie about anything.. it’s too fucking absurd to even think about making this shit up.

Also, I had to wait a few days to post this because I had to get to a mental place where I could find the humor in it..

On to it:

So, this past Tuesday was Weed’s court date. The day before, the Crack Whore told me that she wasn’t going to be able to take off work to be at the courthouse and that he couldn’t come back and live with her because her landlord would evict her.

Whether or not that was the truth, I don’t know. I do know that she can lie with a straight face in person so I’m sure she can easily ace a text message. At any rate, that’s what she was saying and I knew as sure as I really, really need to dye my hair what was coming next.

So the day before, I had this conversation with Chief and told him what she said AND that there was no way in HELL that he was coming back to live with us.

He agreed but wasn’t too concerned about where his son was going to lay his head because after all the run ins that Weed has had with the police AND with the judge, he figured that there was no way in HELL that he was going to get away with not spending at least 55 days in jail. He figured he had plenty of time to figure out Weed’s living arrangements.

He figured wrong.

That morning, Weed was able to call Chief and Chief told him that he needed to be humble in front of the judge and apologize for how he acted.. he also said that he needed to see if the judge would accept some kind of payment arrangement for his fines.

Um..

Excuse Me?

When Chief got off the phone, I said to him .. like.. what’s the deal with this whole “payment arrangement” thing? I mean.. as it stood, he was already working off his fines for another court case in ANOTHER county.. which does hurt us financially.. how the hell was he suppose to work in another one? Unless like.. he’s going to get a real JOB.

Chief said that he only told him that to keep him optimistic.. and that yknow.. he figured Weed was looking at 55 days to sit and figure it all out.

He figured wrong.

We go down to the courthouse and when the judge brings Weed in .. all in leg shackles and handcuffs and a pretty blue jumpsuit that matched his eyes.. he took Chief’s advise and was all humble and apologetic and tells the judge that he was prepared to pay a hundred dollars a week on his fines.

Like.. isn’t that what we’re already doing for the other county?

The judge asks Weed if he has a job and I’m all thinking HELL FUCKING NO but Weed tells him that he works in his father’s deli. The judge :: who isn’t a stranger to Chief both as the father of a fucked up son and as a previous defendant on a bullshit case :: asks him if that was true. Chief tells him that it is .. that he’s working to pay off his fines and that the money is sent right to the court house.

For whatever fucking reason.. maybe because when Weed isn’t all fucking up on drugs and alcohol he is well spoken and not a wanna be thug .. the judge tells him that he will release him with out having to pay bail AND if he stays clean and straight for 60 days, he will drop all the fines.

Um.. come fucking again?????????

He tells Cheif that Weed can be picked up at the county prison at 9pm that night.

Um.. COME FUCKING AGAIN????

OMG.. this is NOT going the way I thought it would.

They take Weed back to do whatever it is they need to do with him and Chief goes up to the judge to talk to him. I walked out. I needed a cigarette.

Actually, I think I needed a shot of black tar heroine if I did stuff like black tar heroine.. but a good shot of nicotine would do the trick.

Chief finally comes outside and he said that he told the judge that he was at a loss for what to do with him and thanked him for giving him yet another opportunity.

Uh. huh.

Then he tells me to text the Crack Whore and tell her to pick him up that night.

And thus started a war of words that.. yknow.. I might have sadistically enjoyed if she was on my intellectual level. But since she is no where near it, it just became a chore.

When I told her about picking him up, she texted back that she couldn’t.. that he couldn’t live with her anymore.. that she would get evicted.. that she wasnt going to lose her home because of him.. that we have a four bedroom house.. that Chief said that he could live back with us .. that he needs to be a father..

Um.. wait.

Rewind that?

Chief TOLD her that he could live back at our place?

So I asked Chief.. and he said that she was lying. That he said that he would have to talk to me and Weed about it.

Like.. um.. what is there to talk about???

Like.. um.. haven’t I said ALL ALONG that I didn’t want him back and if he came back I’d be moving myself out while he was moving himself in?

Like.. um.. who’s lying here? I learned along time ago that Chief isn’t necessarily the most truthful of persons when he’s back into a corner and I’ve learned a long time ago that if the end result is me getting what I want that yknow what? Fucking lie away. I just know not to believe anything he says regarding certain things anymore.

Now.. because I’m on a higher intellectual level AND because my brain isn’t full of alcohol or drug related holes in my brain :: saw that on Sober House with Dr. Drew.. very interesting stuff :: I was able to do what I do best and twist it around.

So I told her that we were in the same boat. That OUR landlord didn’t want Weed living at our place either.. and that our lease was revised to only allow 4 people instead of 5. I told her that because of all the damage that Weed has done to the house.. completely trashing two bedrooms.. breaking 4 window frames.. that we now had to pay an extra 100.00 a month in the rent and that the ONLY reason why we haven’t moved is because SHE moved into the town and that would have meant she wouldn’t have had the access to Bubba and Spaz that she has now.

That went over her head.

She kept on insisting that Chief had said that if Weed cut his hair and got his GED, he would be allowed to move back in.

I told her that Chief had kept his promise but when Weed moved back in, our house got robbed twice and he was dealing from the store.

She didn’t want to hear that either. She kept on trying to sling the same tired bullshit.

So I was like, why is it okay for YOU not to be evicted but not okay for US not to be evicted? Why is it okay to fuck over Bubba and Spaz? Why is it okay for THEIR lives to be disrupted because of you 21 YEAR OLD fuck up of a son?

What about Sarge, she asked. What about Chief’s other brother?

What about her parents, I shot back. What about YOUR brother?

That wasn’t going to happen, she said. She was done with it.. it was our problem now.

Nice.

And she said something else that I actually can’t remember verbatim and was one of the texts that got wiped out on my phone.. but it had something to do with Weed not coming back to the house because of me and only me. That Chief would NEVER turn his back on his son.

And yknow.. at that point I was done with it and told her so. I told her that I could give two shits what happened to him and that they can all go to therapy for all their dysfunction and that this is the kind of shit that happens when I lowered my standards.

And then I put my phone on silent and tossed it in my handbag.

But I was railing. And relayed everything to Chief.

He got on the phone and called his brother Sarge to ask him if Weed could stay with him. Before he could even get the question out, Sarge said YES. We were going to pick Weed up at the prison.. he would stay with us over night.. and then after work the next day, Sarge would pick him up. The trolley line next to our store runs up to about a half a block from Sarge’s house so it would be easy for Weed to get to and from the store.

When Chief got off the phone, he was happy. So happy that he didn’t think about what he was saying.

I asked him how the conversation went, he told me that he told Sarge that he loved me and didn’t want this situation to damage our relationship. Nice sentiment and probably one of the reasons why Sarge was so ready to take Weed in.

Sarge has always said that I’m the best thing to happen to his brother .. but  I think Sarge would believe that of any woman Chief was with because they have this “thing” going on where Sarge constantly tried to one up Chief and deep down.. or maybe not so deep.. Sarge doesn’t think that Chief is a good father and he’ll take any opportunity to spotlight that.

That’s just my feeling and what the hell do I know.

Anyway.. so Chief goes on to say that he’s been thinking about Weed staying with Sarge since I guess the Crack Whore said she wouldn’t take him.

So I was like, Excuse me? Like.. you were thinking about this and didn’t think it necessary to clue me in? And if you weren’t going to clue me in, then why the HELL didn’t you say something to the Crack Whore when she was going off about Weed not living with her?

He said he didn’t want to deal with her.

So because YOU didn’t want to deal with you, it’s fair that I had to deal with her?

He got quiet and said that no, it wasn’t fair.

Damage already done, Bucky.

Truth be told, I don’t think he had been thinking about asking Sarge. I don’t believe that he thought he had 55 days to figure it out. I think he got scared. And he got scared because I told him that even though I joke around with Weed and don’t care if he eats dinner of the house or crashes for the night.. I hold a lot of animosity towards this kid and every time I’m near him, all I think about is my father’s jewelry that was stolen. I told him that Weed moving back in the house was a deal breaker. And I think he knew that with everything else that has happened between us.. and knowing that I was thisclose to leaving before.. he knew I wasn’t going to budge on this one.

So it was settled.

So I thought..

Because yknow.. there was the 21 year old alcoholic pill popping wild card that still needed to be told about the deal AND the pill popping Crack Whore that was coming back out of Alice’s rabbit hole.

As we were getting ready to pick up dinner for the boys, I remembered my cell phone and there were 5 text messages from the Crack Whore. Just basically saying the same shit but also that Weed can stay at her place WHERE HE WAS WANTED and could take a shower and be with all his things.

Throw me some sympathy because this is what I deal with …

So I texted her back and told her that Weed was getting picked up and was going to stay with Sarge but if she wanted him back then he was just going to do the same shit and get into the same trouble that he has been getting into for the year that he lived at her place but that I could care less.. I was out of it.

Then I shut my phone off.

We feed the boys and then make our way to the prison. It wasn’t long before Weed gets off the prison bus and is in the car.

On the way home, Chief tells him about the living situation and I relay to him my story about our landlord not wanting him to live at our place either.

Weed says, “.. you should have just left me in jail then.”

And when I tell you that the only reason I didn’t turn the car around was because the highway we were driving on had a concrete barrier that prevented me from doing so… believe it.

There wasn’t much conversation on the way home other then Chief trying to get Weed to see how the judge is giving him another shot and that he better take advantage of it and that he really needs to assess his life and where it’s going.

We get back to the house and I’m literally using forks to keep my eye lids open. I was physically and mentally exhausted.

So we go to sleep and Weed sleeps out on the couch and the next morning he got up while I was getting ready to take Spaz to school. I asked him if his cell phone was still working and he said it was .. and that he was going to use Spaz’s keys to go over to the Crack Whore’s to take a shower and get changed.

Fine.

Whatever.

So later on in the morning he comes into the shop to work. I tell Chief that when he does, I was going to leave so that they would have the opportunity to talk amongst themselves without me being around. In reality, I just wanted to get the hell out of the shop and all the drama and take a nap.

I had to run to the wholesalers and while I was gone, Chief and Weed did talk.. with Weed saying that he was going to stay at the Crack Whore’s instead of Sarge’s. He had already talked to her about it and that was that.

Chief told him that he was 21. That he was making his own decision BUT this was the LAST time that Chief was going to help him. If he got in trouble again.. don’t even bother calling.

Hearing that, I was like.. you got to be kidding me. I mean, seriously. What was all that drama about the landlord and the eviction and all that other bullshit? And then I was like, yknow what? I have the solution.

I told Chief and Weed that I had the answer to all the drama:

Chief would get his driver’s license back and we would move. Move way out into farm land where we could get the same size house for a lot cheaper rent .. Weed could move in with us :: thereby solving the Crack Whore’s eviction dilema and getting him away from his bad influences :: Bubba would go to a different high school and remove him from HIS bad influences and Spaz would get a fresh start in a better school district.

For me.. it would just monkey wrench the Crack Whore.

Chief readily agreed. He said he’s been thinking about moving for awhile and he thinks that it’s time. More then time.

So we’ll be looking.. the plan is to move during the summer before the kids start school.

Keep your fingers crossed that we find something.

As for me, I’m over all the drama.. all the dysfunction and I seriously may not write about it anymore. Too much toxic bullshit.

Anyway.. so that’s what it is and that’s how it goes.. and whatever will be will be.

I Knew It Was Too Good To Be True…

.. so remember how I was just going on and on about how good Weed was doing with his life?

Yea..

Well..

He got arrested last night.

SO arrested that he was slapped with a 40,000.00 bail and will be doing a lot of sitting in an 8×8 in the county pokey.

And yknow.. this all happened because he got wasted and decided he wanted a lava lamp that was in somebody’s car at 3am.

It all started this morning with a phone call from Chief:

ME: Is there a reason why Bubba is still asleep at 7:30?

CHIEF: Spaz gets out of school at 1:20, Bubba doesn’t have to be in school until 10:30 and Weed got arrested last night.

That’s how I found out.

So I texted the Crack Whore to find out what time he was going to be arraigned and she texted back that she was stuck at work and was “somebody” :: meaning me or Chief :: going to go to the courthouse.

I told her that we were but there was no convincing Chief to go. He was not only throughly disgusted but with everything we went through when he got arrested, he had no desire to sit in front of the same judge and the same chief of police.

I told him that somebody had to go just to sit in the court room with arms crossed and a look of disdain.

That person was me.

So I go down there and wait for about an hour until the judge comes in. I happen to be in the outer court room on my cell when they brought the “prisoners” in.

Weed was one of them and OF COURSE he had to have one of the shop’s t-shirts on. Because of all the GODDAMN shirts he could have gotten arrested in, he had to ADVERTISE the shop in court.

Nice going, asshole.

So he sees me and he says real loud, “.. HI LISA! ARE YOU GOING TO POST MY BAIL?”

I looked at him like he was fucking out of his mind.. which he was because whatever he was on when he got clinked was still altering his reality… and I was like, “Nope.”

Honest to God, the look of surprise on his face was unreal.

When court finally starts, they bring him in front of the judge and I’m the only civilian in there.

As he goes before the judge, he says something like, “.. it’s all lies. I’m innocent”.

The judge ignores him.

He asks if his name is [ his name ] and once again, he has a smart remark.

The judge shoots him a look and then asks if his address is [ his address ] and once AGAIN, he gives a sarcastic remark.

I wanted to strangle him myself and I was hoping that the judge would to end this nightmare but he didn’t. He DID ask him if he was having fun and Weed said that he wasn’t. He then asked how old he was and when Weed said 21, the next thing out of the judges mouth was, “… you have the right to remain silent.”

He was charged with theft, receiving stolen property and public drunkenness. The judge sets bail at 40 grand. He asks Weed if he can post the 4000.00 cash bail. Weed turns to me and I said, “.. I don’t have four thousand dollars for you.”

So he turns back to the judge and says, “.. I don’t have it unless you want to lend it to me.”

I really just wanted to kick his fucking ass.

So he was remanded to county jail where he will sit on his ass until his case is over.. probably.

He’s looking at around 2 years in jail because he was on probation for doing the exact same fucking thing. Even a cat only has nine lives.

After they take him away, I leave and text the crack whore. She tells me that she doesn’t have money to bail him out and I told her that we didn’t either. She said she guesses that he’s going to sit in jail and I said I guess so too.

When I got back to the shop and told Chief, he said that it was the best thing for him. But I was fuming. Fuming because nobody wants to take responsibilty for these kids doing the things that we do.

Not that Weed isn’t responsible for his own choices, but neither of them help the situation. She almost has pills in a candy dish on her end table and Chief .. for some reason .. sees nothing wrong with throwing Weed a nickel bag every once in a while.

And I told him this.

I told him that there are certain lines that I don’t cross but I was crossing them now. He looked stunned but then he told me that I was right. And it wasn’t that I wanted him to acknowledge that I was right.. I wanted him to recognize that what HE was doing was wrong. I have to say that he did.. I know because it bothered him throughout the day.

Good.

I’m glad it did.

Then the Crack Whore called.

She said that earlier that night, Weed wasn’t feeling good so she went out and got him NyQuil. When she went to be around 10, he was playing playstation with one of his friends. She figured he was in for the night until around 3am when the so-called friend of Weed’s who always seems to be with him when he gets arrested but ALWAYS is the one that isn’t arrested climbed through her living room window and woke her up to tell her what happened.

When I heard that I was like, “.. and why the hell didn’t you call the cops and have him arrested for breaking and entering?”

She said that the cops had seen him and was waiting for him when he left and that he was arrested but they let him go.

Right.

Because I had STOOOPID tattooed on my forehead.

What she doesn’t know is that I know that this so-called friend is also her supplier.

So now Weed’s in the pokey and that means that I’m going to have to do extra time in the shop to cover and I know that somewhere done the road the Crack Whore is going to start hitting us up for money for a lawyer because after she comes down from HER alternate reality, she’s going to want to get him out because poor baby, he’s in jail.

So another story for the book that I really should be writing!

Following In His Brother’s Footsteps

Sigh.

What started off as a semi-good day yesterday turned into a major disaster.

It started off Saturday night with a conversation I had with Bubba. We were all home and playing games in the living room when Chief made an exit to do what he usually does when Spaz gets to be TOO Spazz-y. Mainly, take a hit from a joint to curb the desire to punch Spaz in the face.

Sounds harsh, I know.. but that’s the reality of it.

At any rate… So Chief leaves the room and I get up to go to the bathroom. No sooner had I put my ass on the toilet all hell breaks loose in the living room. I can’t tell you what it was about.. and in truth, I really don’t care. All I know is when Bubba and Spaz are in the same room together unattended.. all hell breaks loose.

Spaz is a major drama queen and if I’m being honest, Bubba usually gets the short end of the stick when Spaz starts screaming and crying and whining about some minor infraction that’s usual between brothers that are 3 years apart.

So Chief goes out there and handles things but I’m done with them now.. Spaz truly does take the joy out of most things done as a family.

I go into the bedroom and it isn’t long before Bubba knocks on my door asking to come in. I forget where Chief was … he may have been in the bathroom at that point :: not sure :: and we start having a conversation about how he hates being around Spaz because he gets under his skin and Chief always takes Spaz’s side.. etc. etc. etc.

So I tell him that he has to grow up a little… recognize that Spaz has a mental problem and if he :: meaning Bubba :: doesn’t feed into it then Spaz has no ammunition to use on him.

BUBBA: Why can’t you just tell him to [whatever]

ME: Are you serious? I can’t get YOU to do [whatever] what makes you think I can get HIM to?

Mind you.. Bubba is only looking out for himself and trying to wrangle a way to do what HE wants to do. But I know this and I’m not falling into the trap.

ME: You know, you could have never lasted growing up with my parents.

BUBBA: Why?

ME: Because I didn’t have a tv in my bedroom.. I had to do my homework as soon as I came home from school.. I had chores to do.. had curfews, rules to follow, etc.

BUBBA: That sucks

ME: You really think it was that way because they were being assholes? No.. they gave me a foundation to becoming as successful as I am.

BUBBA: Yea, you are like.. the most successful person I know.

ME: There you have it.

I told him that we were going to my nephew’s party on Sunday and taking Spaz so he would have the whole day by himself to play all the damn playstation he wanted and that seemed to make him happy.

So Sunday rolls around and me, Chief and Spaz go to my brother’s. We have a great time until we’re about to leave and Spaz wants me to stop at a store on the way home to buy him a Pepsi.

Are you fucking kidding me, kid?

So he had a attitude and I didn’t care.

Rewind a minute:

While we were at my brother’s, Chief and I went to the Taj Mahal of Wal-Marts and bought a computer for the dining room.

I wasn’t too into spending the money on them but frankly, Bubba is starting high school this year and his summer project needs to be posted on line before school starts and getting him a computer is ONE LESS excuse he’d have for not doing his work.

Since I had TONS of laundry to do, I told Chief that I didn’t want to set the computer up until afterwards because I KNEW the kids were going to start fighting over it even before it got out of the box.

That WAS the plan until we got home and Chief informed me that HE wanted to set it up because HE wanted to play around with it.

Like there has never been a computer in this house before. Give me a fucking break.

I was already torqued because while we were out, Bubba decided he was going to play video games in my bedroom. Oh HELL fucking NO! THEN I find out that Chief said he could “.. if it got too hot in the the living room”

Oh HELL FUCKING NO again.

On top of that.. I went into Spaz’s room and it was a garbage pit. When I told him to clean it up.. he gave me more attitude and started his drama queen shit.

So when Chief started with the damn computer, I was like “.. you know what? YOU stay here with the computer and I’LL go to the laundromat.”

I really didn’t want to be near any of them at that point.

So I leave with the laundry.

Mind you.. I keep all our clothes separated. The boys in one hamper.. the whites in another.. and then me and Chief’s.

I do this for a few reasons. One, I skeeve having their clothes touch mine and two, keeping everything separate means that when they’re finished drying I can fold them and put them back in the baskets and just hand them over when I get home. It saves a lot of time.

So I go there and throw everything in the washers. When it’s time to move them to the dryers, I start taking the kids clothes out and low and behold, there’s piles of petrified dog shit in there.

OH.

MY.

FUCKING.

GOD.

So OLD that being in a wash cycle did nothing to change their molecular structure from ROCK HARD.

Now.. do you know what “beyond embarrassed” means?

It was SO obvious that when Bubba was forced to clean his room, he just scooped up the clothes and threw them in the basket.. and since he never closes his door or keeps the gate up, the dogs shit in his room and he just leaves it there.

So now, everything has to be washed again.

As I’m shaking his clothes out :: to make sure that I’m not missing any dog shit :: you’ll never guess what falls out of the pocket of one of his jeans.

Eleven dollars and..

and…

and…

wait for it…

AND…

<< insert drum roll here >>

A nickel bag of pot.

Yep… you read that right.. A NICKEL BAG OF POT.

I can’t even describe to you how much of a kick in the chest that felt like. Especially because I was the one being compromised here. It felt like forever before I could literally move to swipe it up and jam it in my pocket.

Think I was mad BEFORE that? Think I was more then pissed off with the whole “washing the dog shit” thing? Oh my God.. I was fucking L.I.V.I.D. I literally wanted to punch something, that’s how mad I was.

So I quickly finish re-loading the washers.. jump in the truck.. drive the four blocks to my house like Vin Diesel in The Fast and Furious.

I scream into the driveway.. jumped out, slamming the door closed and stomped in the house.

I get right into Bubba’s chin :: he’s way taller then me :: and tell him

THE NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO JUST BALL UP YOUR CLOTHES WITH DOG SHIT ALL IN THEM, YOUR MOTHER CAN WASH YOUR CLOTHES BECAUSE YOU ARE COSTING ME MORE TIME.. MORE MONEY.. AND MAJOR EMBARRASSMENT.

Then I pointed to Chief and said:

YOU.. IN THE BEDROOM.. NOW

I marched into the bedroom and he followed.

Before he could even get a word out, I held my hand out to him and said “.. THIS is what I found in Bubba’s pocket.”

He was shocked… I gave it to him and told him exactly what happened and how I knew that it was Bubba’s jeans.

Chief stomped out of the room and screamed for Bubba.

Who actually, wasn’t too far.. only about 6 feet away in the kitchen.

Bubba’s excuse is that :: of course :: it wasn’t HIS. I told him that they were definitely HIS jeans that it came out of and he asked me which ones. When I described them to him, he told me that they were WEED’S jeans.. that he had gone over to the Crack Whore’s after being in the creek and she told him to change out of his wet clothes and he grabbed a pair of Weed’s pants.

Chief looked at me.. and I looked at him.

The jeans in question WHERE Weed’s. I did know that for a fact. But I also know that junkie’s VERY RARELY.. IF EVER.. “lose” their drugs and especially don’t forget about money.

Plausible excuse? Sure… Possible? Definitely… so what to do?

Me and Chief go back into the bedroom and he tells me that he’s not sure if he believes him or not .. I tell him that I’m not sure either but there is NO QUESTION in my mind that they CAN NOT.. CAN NOT.. CAN NOT.. go over to the Crack Whore’s. He agrees and we go back out to talk to Bubba.

Chief tells him that he doesn’t know what to believe.. that trust is something that goes away when drugs are involved. And in order to re-gain his trust, Bubba is going to have to do this.. that.. and the other thing and isn’t allowed back over to the Crack Whore’s.

I tell Bubba that there is no reason why he needs to be over there now.. since we got a computer, there’s no excuses.

But my mind is still warping at a million miles an hour.

I’m so pissed over SO many things.. things I think I even forgot post.. that I just leave and go back to the laundromat to finish with the clothes.

I get back home around midnight… soaked with sweat because it’s so freakin’ hot and humid and being in a laundromat does nothing to cool one off. Figuratively OR Literally.

I’m in one of those DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT TALKING TO ME moods. Jaw clenched.. no eye contact.. zipping around keeping my hands and mind occupied with the mundane.

I brought the clothes in and started putting things away. All the while Chief is watching me.. waiting for me to say something.. but I don’t care. Everything is getting way to much for me to bear.. and I was actually just going to tell him that I was going to go away for a few days. My thought was that maybe not having me around would make them appreciate me more.

I avoid Chief as much as possible and then take a shower.. when I finish, he had gotten the hint I think because the bedroom light was out and he was snoring.

I got into bed and finally fell asleep.

Monday morning I wake up at around 10. Late for me but I figured after everything that had gone on, Chief wasn’t going to wake me up to go down to the shop.

I go into Spaz’ room to turn off his air conditioner and his room is still a mess.

I go upstairs to turn off Bubba’s air conditioner :: even though the mother fucker didn’t even go upstairs to sleep therefore running up my electric bill :: and guess what? HIS room is a garbage pit but better YET was the fact that there was STILL a pile of dirty clothes in the corner AND Chief had been up there the night before when he turned on his air condition.. so HE SAW IT but chose not to do anything or say anything about it.

Quite Mode Again.

I go down to the store and I’m not saying much at all.. just whatever is necessary in one or two word sentences. On top of that, I feel sad. Sad that things are turning out the way they are.

Weed winds up strolling in just as Chief is walking out to go by cigarettes. I ask Weed if he’s missing a nickel bag and he was like, “Noooooo” and I tell him what I had found doing the laundry.

He tells me he knew Bubba was into some stuff because he was hanging around this person’s brother that I never heard of… Chief comes back in and I really can’t remember what was being said but then Chief says:

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I REALLY DON’T WANT THEM TO GO OVER TO [THE CRACK WHORE’S]

That’s when the valve came off my pressure cooker.

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO? YOU. DON’T. KNOW. WHAT. TO DO???!!!

I started going off on him the way I used to go off on my psycho-ex.. dropping “dude” and “man” instead of “honey” and “babe”.

I can’t remember exactly what I said.. but I went off about how HE was the parent.. how them being at her place was obviously not heading in a good direction.. that he knows what goes on over there and yet he constantly puts his kids in danger by allowing them over there.. I told him that he is SO worried about being the “good guy” that his kids don’t respect him.. they don’t listen.. have too much freedom. That it isn’t about them having clean rooms or doing the dishes in the sink but about doing what they are told.. and respecting him as a parent and me as an adult. It’s life lessons and skills that they need to be taught that they’re not learning.. or being repremanded for not doing. I told him that I seem to be the only one that is trying to mold them into in good, honest, decent people and all he does is hide out in the bedroom not to deal with them… I told him that he already “lost” one son and if he doesn’t straighten up and fly right.. if he doesn’t start being a parent.. he was going to lose the other two because the whole summer Bubba was never around and nobody knew exactly where he was at or who he was with.

I know I said other things but that’s about the gist of it.

I also turned to Weed and told him that he better get his fucking life together and do something to make his father proud of him because his father had done nothing but crawl over broken glass to provide for him and all he’s done so far is fuck him in the face.

Everything got quiet and finally Chief asks me what he should do.

I tell him to do “the right thing”.

He asks what that is and I tell him to “follow thru”

Then I was done talking. I was too worn out and torqued and all these other emotions.

Chief goes in the back and about 10 minutes later, he walks out.

When he returns, he tells me that he went to the house and laid into the boys. He said that he went into each of their rooms and told them exactly what he expected to be done.

He looked worn out.. emotional.. even teary.

I told him that he needed to leave the shop. I’d handle it. He should go home.. be with the boys.. keep an eye on them and make them understand that he wasn’t playing around anymore.

So he left.

When he returned around 4:30 to relieve me, he walked in and just gave me this big hug and tried putting his head on my shoulder :: he’s taller then me :: and told me how much he loved me and how much it hurts him to see me so upset and so “grrrr”.

I said that I wasn’t sorry that I blew up but that I was sorry that it had to happen in order to shake him up into doing what needs to be done. He said he needed that.. he needs to be told and that he was glad that I was there.. that I was concerned enough.. that I loved them enough to point out the obvious.

So things are okay now.. and hopefully, he’ll stick with it.

HA! Just got a text from the Crack Whore.

THIS should be good!

12 Days and Counting

… Bubba came into the store this morning after spending the night at the Crack Whore’s.

Who.. by the way.. had her food stamps filled again so she called in an order for lunch meat. Usually :: if I have to slice it :: I make sure I cut it extra thick. Wrong? Maybe.. but it makes me chuckle and considering everything she’s done to bring chaos into my life it’s the least I can to!

In fact, when she finally got around to picking it up we were just finishing up a huge lunch order for the guys that work in the auto body place across the street.

They’re all good people who spend a lot of money in the shop so Chief makes sure he goes out of his way to be spot on with their orders. The Crack Whore walked in while I was putting all the orders in a box for the mechanic to take back to the garage so I IMMEDIATELY volunteered to walk it across for him.

He laughed because he knows who she is and everything that comes along with her. I just winked at him.

Just as we were walking OUT.. who walks IN but my father in law.

NOTE: Pretty soon I’m going to post something about him and Chief’s mother and his childhood but I don’t have the energy right now. Just let me say that I understand ALL TO WELL why Chief does the things that he does and acts the way he acts sometimes.

Now.. I have a great relationship with his dad so I put the box down, yell out “Hey Handsome!” and give him my usual great big Italian hug. I tell him that I’ll be right back and head out to deliver the lunches.

As we’re crossing the street, the mechanic says to me “… you have your hands full” and I tell him that he has no fucking clue how much of an understatement that was!

I hang out across the street until she leaves and then head back to the store.

When I get back, my father in law tells me that it’s ironic that I’m always giving him a hug when the Crack Whore is there. I laugh. He laughs.

He couldn’t stand her then and he can’t stand her now. In fact, he tried to talk Chief out of seeing her WAY BEFORE she got pregnant. I know that he much prefers me as a daughter in law.. especially after a few months ago. He was in the store with me :: Chief had to drive somewhere to get something :: when she walked in. She said, “.. Hi Mr. XXXXXXXX” and hugged him. When she left, he asked me where he could get a jar of penicillian and a steam shower!

Okay.. got way off track here. Where was I?

Oh..

So yea.. Bubba came into the shop and while I was in the bathroom, I hear him telling Chief that the “anonymous informant” that Weed is hooking up with ..

WAIT.

STOP RIGHT HERE.

I’M SORRY BUT…

Does any one mind if I refer to her as “The Cunt”?

I know it’s a really harsh word.. and I know that it’s a really offensive word.. but that’s what she is. You really have no idea how much hatred I have for her.. and towards Weed for forcing her into my life.

So much hatred that that’s the only word that tempers it.

So if you don’t like it.. I do sincerly apologize but it is my blog.. and this blog is about my life so I really feel that I shouldn’t have to censor myself.

On to it…

So Bubba tells Chief that the Cunt slept over the Crack Whore’s with Weed. Chief said that he didn’t want to know… it was none of his business and he really didn’t care.

Excuse the visual, but I’m sitting on the toilet hearing all this.. and more then a few things cross my mind.

1. You [Chief] knows what goes on in that apartment. You know that the Crack Whore is called the “Crack Whore” for a reason. You know that Weed is only straight for the length of time it takes to wake up and reach over to the end table to grab a pill or pipe or bowl. You know that if the Cunt is around, so are pills or powders or pot… how do you not care that your 14 year old and 11 year old spend time there?

2. The Crack Whore knows just as much as we do that the Cunt was the “anonymous informant” .. and yet it’s just all fine.. well.. and peachy that the man who you say, “… I don’t love him anymore but he’s still the father of my kids so I care about what happens to him” was arrested because of what she said.

3. I keep forgetting that I’m dealing with junkies. I’ve never had to deal with Junkies before so I guess it just catches me off guard how selfish, self centered and narcassistic they are.

4. Junkies lie about everything and have lost too many brain cells to realize that you DON’T believe what they’re saying.. even if THEY’VE convinced themselves that it is the truth.

And so I’ve come to the conclusion that after Chief’s next court date :: July 21st :: I will spew everything that I’ve been holding in. Provided that July 21st is the end of this nightmare. There’s a probability that it will be.. but also a possibility that it will continue one more time.

My fear is if I cause drama now, it will somehow alter the case… and that’s the last thing I want to do.

So I’ll throw the dogs of war some raw beef and hold my tongue until everything is over. Until then, I plan to make myself scarse whenever Weed, The Cunt or the Crack Whore is around.