Posts Tagged ‘Hot’

Did you ever have a dream that you dream every once in a while? I mean.. the SAME dream.. exact same. The kind of dream that plays out like a movie even though the infamous “they” say that you don’t dream in color?

I have one of them… and it popped into my subconscience last night.. and since I’ve been sleeping for the past 11 hours .. YOU, my dear friends, are going to hear ALL about it!! LOL!!

NOTE: I am actually feeling better today except for this big ball of rubber cement that’s lodged right above the back of my throat and won’t move no matter how many disgusting grunting sounds I make.

The start of the dream always begins at different points.. in this case, I was in my grandmother’s old three story house.. walking up the stairs to the second floor. It was dark and I was cautious … afraid even.. and out of the corner of my eye I see a blanket coming towards me. Not just a blanket.. but someone holding the blanket that wants to wrap me up in it.

You know how in the dream you can’t move your legs to run or arms to punch? Insert that here. I tried moving my arms up to hit whomever was going to kidnap me but the effort was fruitless.

Cut to next scene and I’m stuffed in .. ok, this is going to sound weird .. one of the engines of a small airplane. There’s a person stuffed in there next to me which turns out to be my brother in law. A brother in law that I don’t have in real life. I see somebody walking across the parking lot? or whatever it’s called where small airplanes park.. and push my “brother in law” out of the engine hoping that this person will find him.

He goes unnoticed as the person walking through the parking lot gets into the plane. Oh. The pilot. Well.. guess I better get MY simple ass out of the airplane engine, huh?

But instead of getting OUT, me in my infamous wisdom go UP and I am not sitting in the airplane next to the pilot who looks suspiciously like John Lithgow.

We’re in Florida :: no clue, so please don’t ask :: and as we are taking off the pilot is all distraught because he is avenging his son Patrick for what happened at Three Mile Island. It hits me that this idiot has no plans of ever landing the plane himself.. that he’s just going to let it fly until it runs out of gas.

We’re only a few feet off the ground.. flying over this small river and I can see these hot latino boys hunting moose. :: Again, no clue so please don’t ask :: and figure.. yknow.. HELP! .. so I tap the pilot in the head with a police badge which knocks him out and the plane goes down.. but goes down really, really softly so that I’m able to hop out and run towards the hot latino boys hunting moose.

This is like.. The Lord of the Flies.. kinda? If you get my drift? So me being there did not warrant a luau or even a mango breaking ceremony. I literally throw myself at the hottest latino boy :: because.. yknow.. why wouldn’t I? :: and the next thing I know we’re walking through this space of many rooms where I’m being introduced to everyone in the tribe.

NOTE: Don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression so when I say “boy”.. I don’t mean “boy”.. I mean “way over the age of concent” .. Come on.. I’m 44.. any guy under the age of 30 is a “boy” to me!! LOL

And we kind of get close in a romantic sort of way. Well.. okay.. it was just a full out lust-krieg, who am I kidding! And then him and his crew of hot latino boys make sure that I am safely returned home.

And there it is.

I probably have this dream at least once a year.. no particular time or event that I’ve been able to tag triggers it. Just pops up and gets me all warm and fuzzy for hot latino boys that raise pit bulls and hunt moose in Florida.

Oddly.. after I woke up from this dream, I got up.. drank a glass of water and then went back to sleep and had ANOTHER dream but this time featuring one of my old boyfriends. The hot Hawaiian Air Force Sargent boyfriend.. who I SWEAR I didn’t know had a wife and two kids back in wherever his base was then.¬† ‘Cause Leese don’t roll that way. Anyway.. I haven’t even thought about him in DECADES so I’m blaming that one on the fever!!

Yep, definitely the fever!

… so I come home from the shop around 2 hours ago with the intent of gathering and sorting the clothes for laundry.

I normally go on Sunday’s but since Chief and I have a party to go to tomorrow afternoon, I figured I’d get it out of the way tonight so that the only thing I have to worry about tomorrow is getting the birthday gifts.

The party is at 2 so I should have plenty of time.. if not, the mall in on my way to the event so I can always just run in there.

I know.. I know.. “Last Minute” should be my last name but what can I tell you.. I do my best work under a deadline! LOL

Anyway… so I walk into the house through the back door. I normally use the front but since I really didn’t want to hear the dogs going absolutely insane because I was gone so long, I snuck in the back!

Well.. surprise, surprise, surprise!

The back door opens into the kitchen and the 10 or 12 plates that were piled high in it.. along with glasses and knives and forks.. the counter was a mess with crumbs and mustard and whatever else and there was a cookie sheet propped between the window and the spigot.

Bubba was in the dining room on the computer with his friend.. and Spaz was laying like the little prince that he thinks he is on the sofa.

Because it’s still humid as shit out, the first thing I smelled when I walked through the dining room on my way to the living room was dog piss.

OOOMPH!

I noticed that there was a puddle of piss between both rooms and that the dogs had did more then their business on the front porch.

And they both just sat there. Sat THERE and sat in the STENCH. Ceiling fans were off.. box fans were off.

I mean really… how fucking STUPID can you be?

Well.. one of them insists on wearing flannel pj’s so we’re not talking about Einsteins here.

When asked about the sink.. both immediately started pointing to each other and Spaz’s excuse for not washing the cookie sheet was because he didn’t know HOW.

So.. um.. .what about all the other dishes? And the utensils? What about THAT, Bucky?? Huh? HUH?

I told him to get away from me.. and started cleaning the sink.. then sorting the laundry.

He insisted on helping until my head grew to the size of a hot air balloon and my face turned green…

I told him to go in the other room and he started whining that he “… just wanted to help.”

WHAT ABOUT HELPING ME BEFORE I GET HOME???? HOW MANY TIMES TO WE HAVE TO GO OVER THIS???

He tried pulling his little violin act but I really didn’t care.

Once the laundry was sorted, I cleaned the bathroom .. cleaned and mopped the front porch.. cleaned and mopped the living room and dining room.

All with Pine Sol.

ORIGINAL scented Pine Sol.

MORE THEN THE RECOMMENDED AMOUNT of original scented Pine Sol.

Personally, I love the smell of it :: although I may have used a little too much this time because I think I feel woozy :: but the kids HATE it.

Smells like an old person’s home, they complain.

You know what?

OH.

FUCKING.

WELL.

Smells better then dog piss on a humid day, don’t you think?

Anyway.. so now I’m sitting under the air conditioner in my bedroom trying to cool off because I was literally a puddle of sweat. I even had to take my glasses off half way through because they kept on sliding off my nose.