Posts Tagged ‘Heroin’

Ohhhhh Kay….

… no, this isn’t my stepson. He weighs a lot more then Weed does

Weed gets out of jail Friday night. He comes over to my house Saturday morning.. stays all day. Comes back Sunday morning.. stays all day. He was a no-show on Monday and Tuesday and then yesterday and today his skinny, scabby ass was sitting on my couch not doing nothing.

Just sitting. Watching tv .. going on Facebook.. playing video games.. eating my food and using my facilities.

That first Saturday he was there, I told Chief that if Weed was planning on perching in my nest then he was going to have to put him to work doing SOMETHING. Since the baby was born, we’ve been spending a lot of time at the hospital so things around the house have been falling by the wayside a bit. The garden needs weeding.. the back porch needs cleaning.. the grass needs to be mowed. You get the idea.

Chief was completely on board with it.

… and then I mentioned it again on Sunday. And Wednesday. And before I left for work THIS MORNING.

Make him do something, Chief.. I don’t want his bony ass sitting doing nothing because he could be siting doing nothing in jail. He gets all oh-hell-yea and if he were Italian, he’d put in a fist pump for emphasis.

Right before this little convo, the baby’s Child Youth Service’s case worker called. We had to notify her that Weed was released from prison and she was calling to make sure that Weed was still on board for us to get custody of the baby. Since Weed has the Crack Whore’s phone, Chief gave her the number but told her it was 8:30am and she may not be able to reach him.

Now color me silly but to ME? .. this was kind of important, right? Like.. it’s the kind of information that you want to keep the person who’s life and finances are being altered because of this baby informed of. Right?

So after I have the convo with Chief on the front porch about making Weed do something, I drive to work and start my day.

By 3pm, I hadn’t heard anything from Chief so I give him a call and he’s all groggy because, once again, I interrupted a nap. I do feel bad about that because for one reason or another he doesn’t sleep much. Or at all, for that matter. But that’s neither here nor there.

Anyway.. so I call him and he’s asks me how my day is going and I tell him it’s going and then I ask him if anything was going on at the house.

He says something like if there was anything to tell he would have called me and I’m like.. are you kidding me?.. did the case worker get in touch with Weed? Have you heard from Weed? Did you hear from your dad? Like.. W! T! F! .. I don’t call to just shoot the shit.

He says he hasn’t heard from my father in law.. that the case worker did get in touch with Weed and he told her that he wanted us to have custody and that Weed was sitting there ON. THE. COUCH.

Oh? Well.. what was he doing?

Why, playing video games of course.

He goes on to say how pissed off he was and how he was going to tell him whatever he said he was going to tell him.

Whatever.

I was kind of put out that it was 3 in the afternoon and this whole conversation hadn’t happened yet and after hearing that you would think that he would know better then to ask me if I was going to stop at the super market on the way home to pick up dinner. Bad move. He caught on to my attitude pretty quick and apologized if he was frustrating me.

Too late, bucky.

So basically my afternoon was ruined and I got that pit in my stomach knowing that this kid was lumped on my couch doing nothing and I’m not even coming home to dinner. I don’t ask for much.. but after busting my ass all day, I like coming home and eating dinner. Call me silly.

So I got all this something or other churning around in my brain and when I get home, I am NOT in a good mood. Especially because I have to go home and then go food shopping.

I walk into the house and don’t say anything to anybody. Chief knows that I’m pissed so when I go into the bedroom to change out of my work clothes, he comes in.. closes the door.. and tells me that after he got off the phone with me he told Weed that he couldn’t hang at the house.. that he should be looking for a job.. blah blah blah fucking blah.

Whatever.

We leave to go food shopping and that takes forever. When we get home, Chief tells me that he’s going to get Spaz to help with the bags and that mentions something about IF Weed is still there he better get his ass out to help to.

Excuse me.. but where exactly WOULD he be?

Sure enough, he was there .. which meant he was going to be fed.. which really pissed me off more.

But let’s be honest.. there was NOTHING that WASN’T going to piss me off at that point.

So as we’re eating dinner, I passively aggressively ask Weed what the hell he thought his plan of life was going to be. I basically told him everything I felt Chief should have told him and added in that if he thought I was a bitch because of it then he better realize that he’s just getting poked by the tip of the iceberg.

I told him I didn’t want to here, “I’m trying”, or “it’s hard”, or “I can’t” or whatever because the only thing that would be acceptable is I START WORK TOMORROW. I told him it was pretty presumptuous of him to think that he can come up in here and act like he’s entitled to my castle like a prince with a crooked halo when I am literally flipping my whole life for 18+ years and changing every single plan I had made and taking care of his kid.

His first retort was that I didn’t have to.. that nobody is making me.. and I think when I shot up out of my chair he kind of realized he said the wrong thing because he backtracked real quick and said that he knew we didn’t have to and how lucky he was that we were. Then he kind of had a little meltdown and said through sobs and tears that we were worried more about the baby and not about him.

Not phased. At all.

I told him that HIS son was 23 DAYS old.. and HE was 23 YEARS old… get my point?

He had the good sense to shut the fuck up AND the good sense to not ask for a ride back to where he came from. When he did leave, he walked out the door the same way he walked in. No chariot waited.

Now let me just say this.. unless you walked in these Iron Fist clad feet, you have no understanding of the emotion and heartbreak and feelings of failure when your kid is a junkie. And while you can say you would do things differently.. and would have different results I’m here to tell you that those thoughts are bullshit.

I’ve watched enough “Intervention” to know that anything less then tough love is enabling. No one wants to see him get his life together more then we do. But understand, he’s not a kid. He’s an adult and if he can’t get his shit together now.. that what makes anyone think he’s going to get his shit together when he’s 25? 30? 50?

Who am I kidding.. he won’t make it to 50.

 

I can’t believe it!!

Weed was on a mission today.. he’s trying to find a job!

With no pushing from us!!

He popped in the store all sweaty from the heat and asked me if I would drive him up to one of the local supermarkets. There are two that are in walking distance so I asked him why and he said he wanted to fill out an application.

Really?

He said he had already filled out applications for a whole slew of stores that he started to rattle off.. I can only remember 7 so I’m mighty impressed.

Guess this last bit of trouble he got himself into finally dinged in his brain.

When I took him out to the rehab picnic on Saturday, he asked if I could pick up his friend A. Nice kid from a really, really nice neighborhood.

He had been released from the rehab a few days after Weed and the two of them have been hanging out a lot. A is really into music and plays both guitar and drums. Weed plays guitar so they’ve been having jam sessions at A’s house.

I asked him what he was in for and he said heroin.

I asked him if it was his decision to get help or was it court ordered.

He said it was his decision.. he went to his parents and told them that he needed help.

I looked at Weed and said, “… SEE!!! Another one that went on their own!!”

He laughed but it gave me a little bit of comfort knowing that this kid WANTED to  get clean and wasn’t FORCED to get clean.

A is also going to school to be a a something or other on a tug boat and I think Weed is finally getting it that life isn’t a free ride and you only get what you want by working for it.

Keep your fingers crossed!!

I’m so excited!!!

When Weed’s life started to go down the toilet, he was involved with Goth Girl.

Goth Girl was his first serious girlfriend and even though his decisions were his decisions, she was the one who introduced him to the people that offered up the opportunity to make those bad decisions.

There were a lot of “friends” who used to come in and out all the time and one of them was Lulu.

Lulu was a really sweet girl and I really liked her a lot. She was always laughing and being silly.. of course, she was probably always like that because she was wasted all the time but at least she knocked on the door before she came into the house.. would actually say “hi” and “see ya” and would stop and have a conversation with me and Chief when she was here.

Believe me, that was ALOT more then his other friends did.

Anyway.. after Weed got kicked out, I didn’t see Lulu anymore. Not that that was unusual.. I didn’t see anyone after he got kicked out and I liked that just fine.

A few weeks ago, I was getting dinner from Mickey D’s and they forgot to give me one of the burgers. I didn’t find out until I got home so I had to drive back. When I went through the drive thru again, guess who was at the window handing over my missing burger?

Yep.

Lulu.

I was like OMG! LULU! but she was just like, “… hey.”

So I kind of figured that maybe to others around her, it would seem like she was giving me something free so I just drove home but I was glad to see that she had a job and said as much when I relayed what happened to Chief.

A few days later, Lulu came into the store.

The reason why I haven’t seen her had nothing to do with Weed being thrown out. From what she said, she had been arrested last year because she got caught with a needle. I didn’t realize how deep she was into drugs and honestly, it made me wonder how deep Weed was involved in them.

Anyway.. so she told me that she did a month in the county jail and when she was released, she was on house arrested. It was then that she realized that she had to get her life together and got her GED.. got the job at McDondalds.. and has been working towards getting into college.

She told me that she’s been completely clean for 9 months, dumped her old friends and does nothing but study and go to work.

I was SO proud of her and told her so..  I told her that it was great seeing her and great that she turned herself around.

So yesterday I was at the shop killing time with my father-in-law when Weed walks in… with Lulu.

I was surprised.

Really surprised.

She was going to work and stopped in to get something to eat that wasn’t fast food. I made her the sandwich and then they left.

I explained to my father-in-law who Lulu was and told him that I didn’t know if them hanging out together meant that Weed was straightening out OR that Lulu was backsliding.

I really, really hope it’s the latter

Um.. ok.

So when I first read about this, I thought that I was still in the Nyquil haze because.. WHAT? Did I just read that John Phillips had a 10 year sexual relationship with his DAUGHTER? The chick from that show ONE DAY AT A TIME???

And then I read that Michelle Phillips :: former wife and tv actress :: had said she [Mackenzie] was freakin’ crazy and that Chynna Phillips :: Baldwin-wife, half sister and singer :: has said that she actually believes her and I was like WHOAAAAA!!!!

There’s something to be said for truth being stranger then fiction. I mean.. would YOU make something like this up?

There’s something to be said for wanting to drop a bomb shell to get on Oprah or sell more books.

But there’s also something to be said about the lump of mush that resides between the ears of a decades long drug addict.

Does she BELIEVE it happened? Absolutely, I believe that she does.

Did it REALLY happen? I have no idea and really, don’t want to corrupt what little part of my soul that is still pure.

But here’s the deal…

We live in a sick… depraved.. degenerate world.

A SICK.. DEPRAVED.. DEGENERATE world.