Posts Tagged ‘Hem’

Men Are Stoopid!

Posted: January 18, 2011 in Chief, Just Me, Just Stuff, Spazz
Tags: , , , , , ,

Well.. not ALL men.. just MY man.

Yes, it’s 7:30am and yes, I’ve been up all night so maybe I’m just cranky.


No these are not my hands... my nails don't look that good!

So last week we had to buy Spaz new school pants. I think I posted about it. 1 pair a size 36 that fit and 1 pair a size 34 that didn’t?

Sound familiar?

Well.. anyway.. I had hemmed the pair that fit with that iron on sticky tape and specifically told Chief NOT to put them in the dryer or the sticky stuff would unstick.

What did he do?

Put them in the dryer.

That was so big of an issue though because we had taken the pair that didn’t fit back to the store and exchanged them for a bigger size on Thursday ..

Meaning Spaz would clean pair to wear on Friday .. then with the long weekend, I had plenty of time to hem both pair.

The idea was that I would go over to my cousin’s who is an ace seamstress AND has a sewing machine and she would hem them the proper way so we didn’t have to worry about this EVER again.

The only problem was that she wasn’t going to be available until Monday night.

Still.. no problem, right?

Hellooooo … you DO read this blog, right?

Friday morning when Chief was getting Spaz ready for school.. and the new pants we bought were too long.. my wonderful, smart, common-sensed husband decided to cut them.

And not just cut them.. CUT THEM TO THE RIGHT LENGTH.

Meaning .. how the @#$$%^& were they supposed to be hemmed????

Ok.. we’ll just let the ace seamstress figure this one out right?



Because the ace seamstress cancelled on me.. and no one gave these pants that needed to be hemmed a second thought until about 6:06 am this morning when Chief jumps up out of bed and says, “… OMG!! I have to hem Spaz’s pants!!!!”

Did I mentioned that it snowed last night and that the school are opening 2 hours late?

Must have blocked the whole SNOW thing out, huh?

So me.. being me.. wide awake and bleary eyed from playing Zuma Blitz all night.. tells him to go back to bed and I will hem the pants.

I knew the one’s I had previously hemmed weren’t going to be a problem.. nice, creased bottoms that just needed stitching. Did it.. didn’t take to long.. didn’t look great but what the hay .. black on black no one will notice.

But then… OH BUT THEN.. I get to the second pair.

A weird shade of khaki that my rainbow spools of thread didn’t match.

Well.. a shade a grey was close enough and they were going to be at the bottom so who cares. I sure didn’t. Not after being up all night.

Second issue .. the cut-right-where-the-hem-is-suppose-to-lay hatchet job Chief laid on them.

Ok.. let’s just see how much room I have to work with.

I take my trusty tape and measure the inseam on the first pair.


Wait .. this kid with the 36″ waist ONLY has a 23″ inseam? This kid is wider then he’s long..

I should just buy cargo shorts because I wouldn’t even have to bother with a hem.

But I digress.

I measure the inseam of the cut pair.


Wait .. 21″???

Houston, we have a problem.

How the HELL am I suppose to hem them… and WHY the HELL didn’t Chief just roll them under ¬†instead of cutting them on Friday?

Questions of the universe that will never be answered.

The only thing I could do was roll the bottom as small and tight as possible and stitch as close to the bottom as I could.

It actually didn’t look that bad but you never know what Spaz is going to Spaz over so he might be the only other person in the universe that notices the thread doesn’t exactly match.

And if he does…

Brother, I’m going to give Chief the hairy eyeball!


Make him hem the next pair.

That’ll teach him!!