Posts Tagged ‘Halloween’

… so yesterday Spaz and I had to go to the local Walgreen’s for… for… for? I forget why.. but since one half of the center aisle had Halloween stuff and the other half of the center aisle had Christmas stuff :: yes, I said Christmas. As in the birth of Christ.. as in DECEMBER freakin’ 25th! :: Spaz was on sensory over-load.

So before he had the chance to tell me what on his Christmas list .. or even ASK me if I “… wanna know? Wanna know? Huh? Hey Leese, wanna know what’s on my Christmas list? ” I steered him towards the Halloween part of the aisle and told him to LOOK. FOR. SOMETHING. Not anything I was going to actually BUY, mind you. I figured if I just got him to look it would afford me enough time to get what I needed and pay for it without him being next to me pleading to get something asinine.

Like a cane.

A REAL cane.

We won’t go there.

Anyway.. the plan worked until he found me waving this dog costume.

Yes.. a DOG costume.

Now I am SO not one of those people that dress up their dogs. I don’t carry them around in handbags :: well, considering the size of my dogs that would be impossible but even if I did have a dog that would fit in a handbag I still wouldn’t do it :: .. in fact, I won’t even put a bandanna on them. Just not my gig.

Not like Bird.

Really... are you KIDDING me??

Really... are you KIDDING me??

She showed me these and actually had the balls to ask me if I wanted to take them home for Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy.

Like Ernie would look good in pink, Chuck Taylor wanna-bes!

No.. seriously.. I asked her if she was out of her freakin’ mind buying those for her Min-Pin Bella. She just laughed because.. you know.. she’s Bird and as much as we’re alike she gets a kick out of the things that make us different.

Doggie sneakers being one of them.

Back to the story…

So Spaz comes running up to me waving this dog costume saying that we HAVE TO buy it for Ernie..

It’s a dracula costume.. complete with a head piece that immediately reminded me of Eddie Munster. You know, with the point in the middle of the forehead and all? Except I don’t think that Eddie had holes on the top of his head for his ears.

Maybe he should have.

Anyway.. at 5.99, I really couldn’t resist so I bought it and proceeded to come home and put it on Ernie who was all like “Nooooo!!! Nooooo!! What are you DOING to me!!” in the silly cartoon voice we make whenever he does something insanely crazy or random.

My favorite is:

If I had opposing thumbs I’d BE a boy!

Anyway.. way off track.

So we get the thing home.. catch Ernie.. and put the costume on him.

He didn’t like the head gear.. maybe because his ears are floppy and the damn thing wouldn’t stop sliding onto his face.. or it may have been the string I MAY have tied a little too tight under his snout.

I say “MAY” .. it hasn’t been confirmed so don’t call Peta.

At any rate.. we did manage to get ONE picture of him with the costume on.

HELP! They're trying to KILL me!!

HELP! They're trying to KILL me!!

Enjoy it because I don’t think you’ll ever see it on him again. In fact, it mysteriously disappeared. It was there one minute.. and then the next? Gone.

I bet if I had the nerve to look under my bed I think I’d find it!!!

A few Halloween’s ago, the company that Goober works for was holding a Halloween contest and being the good Catholic boy that he is, he went dressed a nun. All 6’4″ 6’2″ of him with big man hands and goatee.

So he does THE worse thing he could possibly do. He takes a picture of himself and emails it to me. Ok.. that’s not the WORSE thing he ever emailed me but that’s not the point.

I immediately post the picture up on the other blog I used to have on Bravenet.

I called her/him Sister Fica Hedonista.

Fica being the Italian slang for “pussy”. With the goatee, it just seemed to fit, ok?

I went on to describe how Sr. Fica USED to be Father Paul but that nasty little “issue” in the rectumory caused him to lose his manhood at the hands of a chain-saw welding parent. Since he was .. for the most part.. “almost” transgenered and his vocation still strong, he entered the nunnery to serve out the rest of his/her life is relative isolation.

That was a hit.. believe me.. and IF GOOBER GIVES ME PERMISSION I will post the picture.

IF Goober gives me permission..

IF GOOBER gives me permission..

IF GOOBER GIVES me permission..

IF GOOBER GIVES ME permission..

IF GOOBER GIVES ME PERMISSION..

IF GOOBER GIVES ME permission..

IF GOOBER GIVES me permission..

IF GOOBER gives me permission..

IF Goober gives me persission..

:: do it Goob.. do it!! ::