Dreams

.. did you ever have one of THOSE dreams?

The ones where you wake up and remember EVERYTHING?

O! M! G!

I had THE dreams of dreams earlier ..

I slept most of the day .. for two reasons.

1) I was up all night again so I didn’t actually go to bed until 10:30am

and

2) I was pissed off and torqued and all those other adjectives that applies to being pissed.

Just the thumbnail:

When Chief’s alarm went off yesterday morning and I was MORE then awake, I figured I would take the dogs out and give him a few extra minutes in bed. Nice of me, right? MORE then nice of me considering there’s still snow up to my knees out there.

Anyway..  I take the dogs and see that that’s crap all over the dining room and the kitchen is a wreck.

You, know.. the usual. Hmph!

And because Bubba’s lump of flesh is sleeping on the couch.. and because I don’t pay an obscene amount of money every month for his room to have him sleep on the couch .. I decided to go about cleaning the kitchen and living room in my normal pissed off manner (ie: banging doors.. talking out loud to myself.. etc.

Weed gets up and comes downstairs.. Chief gets up asks me what I’m doing.. I wave my hands around like a mime on crack like, “… what the HELL do you think??” .. and go back to wiping the floor down  with WAY too much Pine Sol!!

Have I mentioned that they hate the smell of Pine Sol??

HE thinks I’m talking about Bubba on the couch so he says something to him.. Bubba grunts an answer.. but goes into his room. I finish with the floor and then proceed to stomp around the living room and dining room picking up the fucking bottle caps.

Bottle caps. How many DAMN times have they been told about the fucking bottle caps?

So I say to Chief.. To Weed.. To Spaz in the shower and Bubba in his room:

See all the soda on the front porch? Tomorrow is trash and I’m throwing every single fucking one out!

Chief is all Yea! Yea! I hate those bottle caps! I keep telling you guys about the bottle caps!!

He goes into the bedroom .. I go out into the living room and then he comes out and says (you’re going to love this):

I hate waking up to you with a stick up your ass

And not in a I-feel-you-pain kind of way. HE sounded pissed and I was like, are you kidding me?? Really?

So I said .. I hate BEING UP ALL NIGHT WITH A STICK UP MY ASS!

He then asked me what my problem is and I said nothing has changed in four years.

Right away he was like, “No.. that’s not it” and I was like, “.. are you kidding me, dude? You asked.. I told you and now you’re saying I’m wrong? You know what? Think whatever you want to think.”

And then I didn’t talk to him for the remaining time I was up .. because when I get pissed like that.. when I know that I can’t have the conversation that needs to be had because you just want to believe that everything is full of rainbows and kitten kisses and don’t want to deal with reality, then why waste my time. I’m only going to get more pissed and say things that shouldn’t hit the air.

So that’s why I slept as long as I did.

At any rate…

So I had this dream.

We were at my grandmother’s old house is South Philly .. a huge three story corner property. Weed comes in with a girlfriend who kind of  looks familiar in real life but I don’t know who she is.. and then they’re followed by another boy and another girl.

They say something about having to take a bus to Montuak (I have no clue!) in the morning and they were going to stay over at the house. I’m fine with that.

Next thing I know, there are like.. 6 or 7 more of his friends over.

For some strange dream-reason, I’m fine with that too.

The sleep sofa I used to have in my old house is in one of the two middle rooms. Someone let’s it be known to me that two of the girls are going to sleep on that for a reason that escapes me. I immediately start pulling the bed out and realize that there’s something missing inside of it that makes the mattress dip but I remember thinking it’s sturdy and these are skinny little heroin-chic girls so I’m not worried.

I start making the bed and one of the girl’s says “.. oh, you don’t need to put a four part sheet set on there?” and I’m like, why not?.. and she tells me that whatever part is missing… is in fact, missing.. and they won’t be using it.

I explain that it’s not going to make a difference and she starts jumping on it to make sure..

Next thing I know.. and it does get fuzzy here.. is that I find out that they carry the sofa upstairs to the third floor where Weed’s room is and I freak out.. What the $%*((? How could you let them do that??? ect. ect. etc.

That’s followed by Spaz screaming that Weed is beating him up .. I run upstairs (for some reason the railing was missing) and go into Spaz’s room.. pull off Weed.. push him back towards his room and tell Spaz that I really like his bedroom and maybe he should stay up here permanently.

No clue!! LoL

Then Weed is behind me again yelling something and then I started yelling at him that I don’t care if he lives here but when he’s fucked up he turns into a monster .. and with those words, his hair started to stand up on end like a Michael Myers mask and his face gets all red and bloated and he starts yelling something.

And then it’s back downstairs and everybody is packing up and leaving and then Snooki and JWoww walk in and I’m talking to them about something when two of girls come back and start talking serious smack to The Snook and Woww.

Uh-uh!! Not having THAT..

So I get all up in this girls grill and tell her.. in the ghetto way.. how she’s not going to disrespect Snooki and JWoww and I’ll take her skinny little heroin chic ass out side and give her a beat down.

And then I woke up …

I won’t go into the OTHER dream I had where I was dating a guy that looked like Ceaser from The Fashion Show and he jumped into a lake to get cranberries.

That one was just too freakin’ weird!

Re-Dreams

Did you ever have a dream that you dream every once in a while? I mean.. the SAME dream.. exact same. The kind of dream that plays out like a movie even though the infamous “they” say that you don’t dream in color?

I have one of them… and it popped into my subconscience last night.. and since I’ve been sleeping for the past 11 hours .. YOU, my dear friends, are going to hear ALL about it!! LOL!!

NOTE: I am actually feeling better today except for this big ball of rubber cement that’s lodged right above the back of my throat and won’t move no matter how many disgusting grunting sounds I make.

The start of the dream always begins at different points.. in this case, I was in my grandmother’s old three story house.. walking up the stairs to the second floor. It was dark and I was cautious … afraid even.. and out of the corner of my eye I see a blanket coming towards me. Not just a blanket.. but someone holding the blanket that wants to wrap me up in it.

You know how in the dream you can’t move your legs to run or arms to punch? Insert that here. I tried moving my arms up to hit whomever was going to kidnap me but the effort was fruitless.

Cut to next scene and I’m stuffed in .. ok, this is going to sound weird .. one of the engines of a small airplane. There’s a person stuffed in there next to me which turns out to be my brother in law. A brother in law that I don’t have in real life. I see somebody walking across the parking lot? or whatever it’s called where small airplanes park.. and push my “brother in law” out of the engine hoping that this person will find him.

He goes unnoticed as the person walking through the parking lot gets into the plane. Oh. The pilot. Well.. guess I better get MY simple ass out of the airplane engine, huh?

But instead of getting OUT, me in my infamous wisdom go UP and I am not sitting in the airplane next to the pilot who looks suspiciously like John Lithgow.

We’re in Florida :: no clue, so please don’t ask :: and as we are taking off the pilot is all distraught because he is avenging his son Patrick for what happened at Three Mile Island. It hits me that this idiot has no plans of ever landing the plane himself.. that he’s just going to let it fly until it runs out of gas.

We’re only a few feet off the ground.. flying over this small river and I can see these hot latino boys hunting moose. :: Again, no clue so please don’t ask :: and figure.. yknow.. HELP! .. so I tap the pilot in the head with a police badge which knocks him out and the plane goes down.. but goes down really, really softly so that I’m able to hop out and run towards the hot latino boys hunting moose.

This is like.. The Lord of the Flies.. kinda? If you get my drift? So me being there did not warrant a luau or even a mango breaking ceremony. I literally throw myself at the hottest latino boy :: because.. yknow.. why wouldn’t I? :: and the next thing I know we’re walking through this space of many rooms where I’m being introduced to everyone in the tribe.

NOTE: Don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression so when I say “boy”.. I don’t mean “boy”.. I mean “way over the age of concent” .. Come on.. I’m 44.. any guy under the age of 30 is a “boy” to me!! LOL

And we kind of get close in a romantic sort of way. Well.. okay.. it was just a full out lust-krieg, who am I kidding! And then him and his crew of hot latino boys make sure that I am safely returned home.

And there it is.

I probably have this dream at least once a year.. no particular time or event that I’ve been able to tag triggers it. Just pops up and gets me all warm and fuzzy for hot latino boys that raise pit bulls and hunt moose in Florida.

Oddly.. after I woke up from this dream, I got up.. drank a glass of water and then went back to sleep and had ANOTHER dream but this time featuring one of my old boyfriends. The hot Hawaiian Air Force Sargent boyfriend.. who I SWEAR I didn’t know had a wife and two kids back in wherever his base was then.  ‘Cause Leese don’t roll that way. Anyway.. I haven’t even thought about him in DECADES so I’m blaming that one on the fever!!

Yep, definitely the fever!

… And I Didn’t Even Eat Pepperoni

… chalk one up for either the heat or I don’t know what but last night I had a pretty vivid dream of Pete Wentz / Ashlee Simpson and their baby.

No! Not that kind of dream!! :: get your minds out of the gutters, piglet! :: It was the kind of dream that FEELS like it’s lasting for HOURS and was just.. yknow.. vivid.

Wierd, I know. I mean, I am a FALL OUT BOY fan and really nothing beyond that so I’m not sure I know where this came from.