All You Can Eat.. But Not Enough Time To Do It

Is is me or do all Chinese Buffets look the same..???

So yesterday, I got together with two really, really good friends that I used to work with.

You know how people say, “.. we’ll get together?” or “.. keep in touch!!” or “.. we’re going to misssssssss you!!’ but they you don’t.. and they don’t.. and half the time you can’t remember someone’s name let alone miss them..

But these two gals, Cass and Chica became more then co-workers.. we became really good friends.

And so every once in a while we make it a point to get together for dinner somewhere in the middle between them and me.

Yesterday we made plans to meet a local Chinese Buffet that is WAY more then a Chinese buffet food wise.

It has everything.. and even though they have a more then usual assortment of more then the same old kinds of seafood dishes, there’s always something that I can eat. Seafood makes me blow up like a puffer fish and spasm on the ground.

Ok.

TMI.

I understand.

Anyway.. so yesterday we meet up for dinner and it’s early. Something like 4:30. Hell.. most people aren’t even home from WORK yet. I say that because the place was empty. Only about three other tables were full beside ours.

Now, I don’t know about you.. but buffets make a HUGE profit off of me because I really don’t eat a lot. Generally one place with a sample of six or seven things and then a second plate of fruit. :: I don’t know what that red stuff is they put on their bananas but it’s freakin’ AWESOME ::

This was the first time Cass and Chica were there so I got the stuff I wanted and then sat back down at the table and waited for them. It took them about five or so more minutes for them to sit but when they did, we got to catching up. And you know.. food was secondary on our thoughts.

Chica had recently bought a new truck .. her daughters were in Puerto Rico for the summer with their grandparents and she was making us laugh about this guy that she met.. and that other guy she went out with recently who’s sending her text messages telling her how he couldn’t live without her and wants to move her and her daughters to Texas.

Funny stuff.. especially because Chica has the same attitude and sarcastic wit that I do .. only with a heavy PR accent.

Cass has been fighting breast cancer and horrendous arthritis .. she had a double masectomy.. recently had reconstructive surgery.. both her hair and eyelashes are growing in .. her mom’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse… just a lot of stuff. But Cass handles it with humor and wit and we were rolling over in hysterics trading stories.

But we weren’t eating.

And the two waitress’ that were standing at the station behind our table noticed.

They kept on coming over to the table to see if there were dishes that need to be bussed or drinks that needed to be filled.

We finally figured that we better eat and get more plates so that they would leave us alone.

We did.. and the same thing happened.

But you know me.. I don’t take to that kind of pressure nicely.. ESPECIALLY because there weren’t people waiting for a table. If the place was busy, that’s one thing. In those cases, I usually just down my food and get the hell out of there.

So we’re talking.. laughing.. eating.. and even before we even made a DENT in our second plates, the waitress came over with the check.

Without Fortune Cookies.

Talk about saying “fuck you”.. huh?

No Fortune Cookies???

But we’re talking and eating and nibbling this and nibbling that and before you know it, the food is gone and we’re still sitting there talking.. and talking.. and talking.

The woman at the cash register kept looking over and the waitress’ kept buzzing around and finally we were like,  “.. we better get out of here.”

So we paid and left and honestly, I didn’t remember to leave a tip. I swear it wasn’t intentional.. we we’re just engrossed and it didn’t happen. I don’t have any excuse for that, tho. As much as they were pressuring us to leave, I wouldn’t purposely NOT leave a tip.. especially at some place I like going to.

Now we’re outside sitting on their benches yaking away.. and away.. and away.

Cass is starting to get stomach pains and gets ready to leave because she doesn’t want to have an accident in her pants on the way home.

She was wearing white pants so it’s completely understandable!

But OMG! She left her sun glasses at the table. We start laughing because no one wants to go back in there but finally they both vote for me because.. well.. I really don’t give a shit.

So I go up to the desk and say to Cashier Girl, “.. I left my sunglasses at the table.” making a motion that I was going to go over there and get them because I didn’t want her to think that I was bypassing protocol and seating myself.

She gets ballistic on me NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU NO LEAF NO THING!! TABLE CLEARED! TABLED CLEARED!

I have expected Ninja’s to drop from the ceiling the way she was acting.

So I was like, “.. No. Really. The glasses are at the table.”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FIND NO THING. TABLE CLEARED!! TABLE CLEARED!!

Find.. whatever.. I’ll buy Cass another pair of freakin’ sunglasses.

So I go back outside and tell Cass. She wanted to let it go but because her eyelashes are still growing in and it was the time of day when driving in the sun is brutal, she was afraid that her eyes would tear too much and she’d cause a 980 car pile up on the highway.

So she goes back in and a few minutes later, she came out with her sunglasses. She tells me that they did have a pair behind the counter that were actually, nicer then hers but she went over to the table and found hers on the floor underneath.

We all got a good laugh out of it but it got me wondering… are ALL chinese buffets that way or just mine?

Probably just mine, huh?

… And NOW

.. I have to make fried pork chops for dinner.

Can you just FEEL the excitement?

Bleck

Because My Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions..

.. but of course this would be my favorite cartoon!

While I’m thinking about it now, I want to take the time to wish each and every one of you a Happy Thanksgiving.

I had planned on doing it on the actual DAY but y’all know how I am.. my mind is like a sieve something and with everything I have to do up until dinner is over, I may not have the time. So I figured I would do it early .. instead of late.

Usually I’m late so take it for what it’s worth.

I’m trying here, people!!

At any rate, I hope your Thanksgiving is filled with love, happiness, family, friends and of course, thanks for the things you have in life and not getting all pissy about the thinks you don’t.

Everyday we wake up IS truly a blessing.

So Happy Thanks from me to you …

And don’t each too much dinner .. the holiday season has just begun!

Mouse-Less… Or So I Thought

Last night.. when I was still giving Chief the cold shoulder.. I was in the bedroom watching :: what the hell was I watching? :: something when I heard Chief and Spaz in the kitchen and something BIG move.

He comes into the bedroom and tells me that while he was on the desktop computer, he saw a mouse stick it’s head out from under the fridge so he pulled it out and it dived through the 1″ hole he had drilled for the ice cube maker’s water line.

Actually.. he said.. there were two. So he put a sticky trap under the fridge and moved it back.

I HATE STICKY TRAPS.

I may not want mice in my house but I have heard horror stories of what happens to mice on sticky traps and really, I don’t want the things to suffer. I just want them to live a nice, quiet, happy life somewhere else.

Preferably the annoying neighbors next door.

He tells me at the VERY FIRST SIGN that the sticky trap was inhabited, to come get him where ever he was at and he’d take care of the situation. Shop.. Bathroom.. Shower.. anywhere.

He’s trying to get back on my good side.

Ok.

So this afternoon, I get home from working my shift at the shop.. stop at WalMart for another hamper and then to the super market to pick up pork chops and egg noodles for dinner.

NOTE: The chicken was fantastic, btw.

When I come into the house, Spaz is right up on me telling me that we don’t have a mouse issue anymore.

ME: Um.. why’s that?
SPAZ: Because Ernie caught one.
ME: (gulp) WHAT?
SPAZ: Yea. I saw it on the floor in the hallway and thought it was poop but when I picked it up it had a tail. It was wet and it’s head was a little flat.

Ordinarily, I become HIGHLY upset at the thought of Spaz growing up to be a serial killer but right then and there I almost fell on my knees in praise of the good Lord above that this kid isn’t afraid of picking up a dead mouse.

NOTE: Um.. I’m just going to pretend that I DIDN’T give thought that he did anything else to the mouse between picking it up and putting it in the trash can.

So I mention to him that his dad told me he saw TWO mice last night.

SPAZ: No details! No details! I’m not giving you any details! It’s just gone. That’s all I’m saying about it.

I have to tell you that I was relieved. Almost a little giddy. So I call Chief up and tell him about the mouse and that I couldn’t believe that ERNIE caught it. Like, was this little dog SO outdone that there’s another “baby” in the house that he’s going to hunt mice too?

Chief starts laughing and says something about how Ernie likes to chase things and that he was probably just trying to play with it and accidentally killed it… like the guy from Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men”.

ME: Oh, btw. Spaz told me about last night and the other mice
CHIEF: See! See! I TOLD him not to say anything! What was I suppose to do, hun? Just put it in the trash aliv
ME: Um.. Uh.. Spaz only told me that there was another one and that he wasn’t going to give me any details.
CHIEF: Crap. I just busted myself.

But I don’t care.. because, you see, I’m giddy because my problem was solved. The two mice that I had in my house are gone. I don’t have to worry about turning on every single light in the house and stomping a few hundred times to scare them before walking anywhere in the house… I don’t have to worry about one running around in the bathroom while I’m using the facilities.. and I certainly don’t have to worry about peeing in a Dunkin’ Donuts cup in the middle of the night because I’m too afraid to risk running into on in my pajamas.

All is right in my world.

Until.

Until.

UNTIL…

I come into my bedroom, sit on my bed and fire up the laptop.

Bella is laying down on the floor on the door side of the bed and Ernie takes refuge under the bed on the window side of the bed near the radiator.

I hear him tearing something apart.. Ernie is ALWAYS tearing something apart.. so I tell him to knock it off. Whenever Ernie is reprimanded, he goes into “grovel” mode.. so he jumps up on my bed with his head down and belly crawls so close next to me that he’s almost under my t-shirt.

And then I hear it.

And so does Ernie.

The distinctive tearing of something somewhere under the radiator.

His ears perk up and he dives from the bed and tries to force his nose between the wall and the radiator.

I don’t want to look. I’m ready to put a ice pick through my inner ears.

There’s another mouse.

IN MY BEDROOM.

A very active mouse from the sound of it.

Ernie’s presence means that the damn thing has quieted down and for all I know, made it’s way around the room and out the bedroom door.

But I will tell you this.

I am NOT getting off my bed until Chief comes home… in about 3 hours..

Oh.. and Ernie can forget about his damn kisses!!

What’s For Dinner

Am I bored?

No.. I’m hiding in my bedroom because I don’t want to be near either kid since they are arguing over something so ridiculous that I’m terrified that I will blow the last gasket I have left and therefore will be unable to give my the planned rant at dinner :: see DOUCHEBAG post ::

So since I’m giving myself about a half hour to prepare dinner before Chief comes home, I’m thinking pork chops under the broiler with buttered egg noodles and green beens.