Posts Tagged ‘Diet’

No.. tis is not Spaz. This is kid is far too small to be him!

… so yesterday afternoon Chief tells met hat we have to pick up more school pants for Spaz.

At the beginning of the school year, the Crack Whore bought him tan linen pants to wear as part of his uniform.

Yes.. I said LINEN.

Who does that??

Anyway.. it’s not like I anticipate her doing anything that will make sense and I’m sure she mentally gave me the middle finger when she bought pants that had to be dry cleaned.

‘Cause like I said.. she doesn’t know what it’s like to be a parent 24/7 so buying pants that he would be wearing 5 days a week.. that had to be dry cleaned.. completely swirled through the void where her brain used to be.

If she ever had a brain in the first place.

At any rate.. so yesterday we went to one of the discount places in the area. I wasn’t looking to spend a lot of money because a) we don’t have it and b) his legs are far to short for the size of his waist so he winds up destroying the hems by walking on them.

The pants that he was wearing were a 34 waist. That’s Chief size. And yes, he’s 12. His weight became an issue the last three years and even though I constantly harp about what he’s eating, the amount of food that he’s eating, when he eats, etc. It’s fallen on deaf ears. I buy “healthy” things when I shop.. but even too much healthy stuff turns unhealthy and then you have the uber-chef who firmly believes that cooking everything in butter is the 11th commandment and that food = happiness, you have a recipe for a morbidly obese kid who is too young to make proper choices and an environment where there are two many un-healthy choices. And you know, there are four other people in the house who like what they like and it’s not fair to deny them because of one person.

More on that later..

Anyway.. so we buy two pairs of pants. One a size 34 and one a size 36. Both are relaxed cut so there is more room around the middle. I didn’t think there would be an issue with them fitting.

Boy was I wrong.. and what a shock it was.

The 36’s “fit”. Spaz complained that they didn’t fit but that was only because he was used to wearing clothes that were too big for him. The last lot of clothes the Crack Whore bought him were 38 pants and 2X shirts. He’s so damn short that the shirts looked like dresses and even if I hemmed the jeans they would have looked like cargo shorts.

The 34’s didn’t even button.

So last night I told Chief that he really needed to be diligent in monitoring Spaz’s food intake without making it obvious to his brother’s. He plates our food in the kitchen before bringing it out to the dining table so he has the opportunity to alter Spaz’s plate without it being obvious.

And look, he used the kitchen of both a hospital and a special needs school. He’s more versed on nutrition and dietary needs then the average person.. you just have to want to do it.

So what does he make him for breakfast? Two eggs, cheese and pork roll on a croissant. My arteries seized just thinking about it.

He knew he screwed up though.. especially after I happened to come across a piece of paper from the school that documented Spaz’ height, weight and BMI.

Guess what? The kid is 62.5 inches tall and a whopping 187.4 lbs.


All I could say was “wow” when I saw it and I waved it in Chief’s face and said DID YOU SEE THIS?? WHEN DID YOU GET THIS?

Apparently it was sent home in Spaz’ school folder.

And then I went over again how dangerous.. soo dangerous.. this is for the kid. Diabetes run’s in Chief’s family, number one but he’s open to all kinds of health risks.. all types of mental issues.. hygiene issues.. you name it and I pleaded with him to stay keep it in mind when he’s cooking.. when Spaz asks if he can get a soda or chips off the front porch..

We were on our way to the supermarket when I stated AGAIN the need for this kid to eat better.. get more exercise.. there’s no reason why he can’t walk home from school. Granted, mornings are a different story but in the afternoon? Chief said things will be different in West Virginia. I told him that that’s three weeks away.. do you want to give him the opportunity to gain MORE weight in three weeks?

With all that in mind, we made sure we bought more fruit then usual.. more sugar free and no fat snacks.. things that I could take from their container and put in the cookie jar and there would be no evidence that what he was eating wasn’t laden with sugar and fat. Individual containers of apple sauce was a good buy.. even trail mix and nuts. Animal crackers were also surprising low in fat and sugar. Plain oatmeal that we can add bananas or cinnamon to ourselves. We also bought fruit bars instead of ice cream.. Oh… and hummus and pita bread (I cut them up and popped them in the oven to be used for dipping) .. things that are healthier for you tends to be more expensive but you have to do what you have to do.

Spaz eats out of boredom.. I’ve been saying that for years. Plus, he’s food obsessed. He’ll ask what Chief is making him for breakfast right after dinner. The first question out of his mouth when we either walk in the house or he walks in the house is “.. what’s for dinner?”

Tonight, we had chicken for dinner with corn and oven roasted potatoes. About a half hour after dinner, Spaz knocked asked me where the Saltine crackers were. Why, I asked. He said he wanted cheese and crackers. Some how.. he found the can of spray cheese. I hate that stuff. Chief likes it so he hid it behind the cat food. Somehow, Spaz found that but didn’t see the big box of crackers right in front of him.

I told him that we had JUST finished dinner.. he said he was still hungry. I told him there was fresh fruit and dried fruit and all kinds of other things that he could eat as a snack later on.. it was too soon to eat now. He hemmed and hawed and I told him that he could have a snack now or later but then that’s IT. Of course, he wanted it now and so I pulled three crackers out of the sleeve and squirted about a dime size dollop of fake cheese on each one.

That’s it, he whined.

Take it or leave it, I said.

He took it.

He didn’t like.. but it is the way it is and he needs to get used to it.

I also mentioned to Weed on the sly to keep an eye out on Spaz after we go to sleep in case he sneaks out into the kitchen. His bedtime is 10.. ours isn’t much later.. but Weed is usually up to the wee hours.

Look.. I know how hard it is to be an overweight child. I know how hard it is to be an over weight adult. But I also know that if he doesn’t learn how to eat properly now, he’s leaving himself open for a lot of hardship later on.

If any of you have any suggestions, they’d greatly be appreciated!!

Ok.. first I have to admit that I am SO ADDICTED to my iPhone that it almost never leaves my hand and…. I don’t even have the PHONE SERVICE for it!!! I wasn’t into paying the bill when I knew I was getting laid off so I cancelled the phone and got one of those unlimited text / unlimited call phones for 39 bucks a month.

But anyway… so I’m always downloading new apps and stuff like.. ALL the time.. and OMG!! This app is so. freakin’. awesome!!

It’s called My Fitness Pal and while it’s basically a calorie counter / diet tracker.. it is SO MUCH MORE!!!

I think everyone probably knows that I’m a size 16 by now and even though I’m kinda okay with that, the fact that my uber-chef husband will die believing that EVERYTHING tastes better with butter, bacon and deep fried means that I have to really be careful to not gain anymore weight.

I used to be a size 24 and got down to a size 14 by watching what I ate and walking.. walking.. walking. It took about 2 years but if you understand that it’s healthier to lose the weight at the same pace you put the weight on,  it’ll keep you clear of “quick fix” diet pills or starvation or unhealthy stuff like that.

So really, going up one size isn’t so bad considering the meals he used to make us ( since I’m in control of dinner now, we eat a lot healthier ) but I noticed that a pair a shorts I haven’t worn since last year were tighter then I remembered them, I said to myself, “.. Self! There has to be an App for that!!”

So I found MFP and when you first sign into it, it asks you your current weight.. height..  how active you currently are.. how much time you want to devote to exercising and how much weight you’d like to lose in a weeks time.. and then it does it’s magic and tells you what your projected calorie count is per day.

So you start logging what you eat .. they have a HUGE database of almost everything you can think of.. and then you enter the type of exercise you’ve done and for how long (.. that is, if you even get around to doing it) and the app keeps a running tally of how many calories you have left to consume.

It also starts accumulating the foods you routinely eat for easy finding!

The funniest thing is that KNOWING I’m going to log what I eat made me more selective and careful about what goes in my mouth and how much..

And I’m now drinking more damn water then a water buffalo instead of the usual coffee cup glued to my left hand!!

So maybe I should warn you know of potential caffeine withdrawal!!

The other think I like about this app is that it’s synced with MFP’s website so you can track your stuff and log your stuff online without having to use our iPhone… or your iPod Touch ( it’s compatible with both! )

And it’s free!!!!

It doesn’t cost anything to download or utilize the web site.

So if this is something that you can use :: if you don’t need it then I hate you!! LOL!! :: then give it a try and let me know how  you like it!

Well.. let’s not use the word “diet” .. for ego sake, we’ll say ‘EATING RIGHT”.


That’s the ticket!!

Anyway.. I was discussing this with Chief yesterday and :: God love him :: he’s willing to do what HE has to do to help me.

This may be a little bit TOO much information so I’ll see if there’s a way that I can make it PG .. or at LEAST PG13..

Ok. R. I’ll see if I can at least reduce it from an X to an R!!!!!

There’s one particular … um.. “position” that Chief likes but I’m WAY too self conscience now to indulge him in.

:: alright, so that’s not so bad ::

Will the thought of wearing tank tops without arm wings keep me from eating things I shouldn’t? No. Will the thought of not having my upper thighs touch :: only a little :: prevent me form shoving a glazed donut in my mouth?


But a page out of the Kama Sutra?

Oh yea, baby! Not THAT will make me sew my mouth up and suck ice through a straw!

So far today I’ve been doing pretty good. For breakfast I had coffee with skim milk (withOUT the 4 teaspoons of sugar!) and a plain toasted bagel with nothing on it.

For lunch I had a piece of grilled chicken :: no marinade :: with lettuce, tomato, pepperjack cheese, bacon and honey mustard in a wheat wrap and finished that off with a small banana.

NOTE: bacon and pepper jack cheese aren’t the BEST things but it was what the cafeteria had to offer and beside, I’m not going to go to extremes. Considering everything I didn’t eat already, two pieces of bacon and a slice of cheese isn’t going to put me over the edge!

In all honesty, I probably won’t eat anything else today. I’m more a drinker then eater and usually when I have lunch I’m not even hungry for dinner.

I also know that THAT isn’t the healthiest thing for me either.. I know all about the six small meals a day .. keeping your metabolism up.. etc.

But give me a chance here… I’ll work it in! I just have to get the prep work in.

Thankfully, Chief knows what he’s doing as far as portioning and the what not so I’m feeling pretty confident.

Tonight, I’m going to take the dogs for a nice long walk. It’s suppose to be pretty cool considering what the weekend was like so it’ll be the perfect time to start the routine!

I’m completely disgusted. Last week I bought a really cute pair of capris for work. They’ve been sitting in the car all week but that’s beside the point.

NOTE: I had forgotten that they were in the bag that I needed to take to my cousin DeeDee’s house this weekend. Since I didn’t want to forget the stuff for HER, I left it in the car.

At any rate…

I bought a size 16. I’ve been wearing a 16 for a while and in fact, I bought two pairs of carpis right before mother’s day that fit fine.. more then fine.. in fact, they’re a little big.

The black pair that I just bought were the Just My Size brand and from past experiences with the brand when I was a lot heavier, they ran pretty true to size.

So I wasn’t worried about them fitting. Not that I try anything on anyway.. I hate that.. normally I can look at something and know if it will fit or not.

I’m losing that particular talent.

Since it’s been bloody hot here lately, I planned on wearing them this morning because I haven’t taken anything out of the attic yet and the other two pairs that I bought were already worn.

I go to put them on and guess what?

They didn’t fit.

At all.

Couldn’t even come CLOSE to getting them buttoned.

I know..realistically.. that they were tagged with the wrong size. But it still didn’t make me feel any better.

In fact, I was so disgusted and felt so terrible about myself that I just sat on the bed and sobbed.

I’m mortified with the way I look and it’s having an adverse effect in different areas of my life.

But it’s my fault.

I know what I need to be doing and I’m not.

So maybe that’s just what I needed to get the ball rolling…

In the immortal words of RuPaul..


I was always “thick”. I’m Italian which means that my hips were meant for child-bearing and I could literally die without bread.


I’ve come close!!

So I always carried a few extra pounds.  And when I day that, I mean A. FEW. EXTRA.

Not “A few extra on my arms” “A few extra on my legs”“A few extra on my ass”… etc.

And even though I am really, seriously picky about my food and have a palate that kicks and screams at the thought of venturing into the unknown, I am an emotional eater.

It’s the goddamn bread!!

I’m not a sweet eater for the most part.. I’m not really into chocolate, cake, donuts, or that kind of stuff. Not big on ice cream or pies or things normally associated with someone stuffing their faces.

Aww.. but give me a nice hot roll with melted butter!! :: my eyes just rolled back into my head!! ::

But on with it…

I was at my heaviest in my late twenties. A size 24 .. around 270lbs. Things were horrible with my ex and I guess it wasn’t so much that I was drooling chocolate syrup but I think my eating habits became irratic.

Honestly, I don’t really know. All I know is that I weighted 260 freakin’ pounds!

I wound up losing about 80lbs by walking. That’s all I did. During my hour lunch, I’d walk a half hour in one direction and then turned around and walked back. I didn’t start doing that to lose weight.. I stared doing that to clear my head of all the stress I was going through but the benefit was the weight dropped off. Without the aid of pills or surgery. Without having all the hanging skin flaps that need to be hacked off and sewn up afterwards because your body is losing weight too fast.

In the 10 years that followed, I did a good job at keeping it off but a little did sneak back.

So when I met Chief, I was a 14/16. Some 14s were too big.. some too small.. and the 16s were the same way. I also have broad shoulders so my top size was a Large. Still walked daily but also had incorporated weights and toning and yoga.

Chief has been a chef for 27 years now. :: please, please PLEASE don’t call him a cook!! PLEASE :: and he’s great at what he does. He has a talent for it.. he has a palate for it.

He’s probably cooked along side of every Food Network chef that has their own show and has recieved national awards and certificates.

His problem is that he’s a low key guy. He doesn’t get into all that OOOH AAHH stuff. He just wants to cook.

NOTE: Before openning the shop, he was the kitchen chef for a very high end catering company who had a 50,000.00 minimum for events.

Yep. You read that right.

He loved it there because all he did all day was to create new dishes and was responsible for tastings :: when people come in to sample the different foods they may want at their event::

He actually specializes in ethnic cuisine and…

OMG!! I just remembered this!! This is one of our first texts:

HIM: Come over and I’ll make you breakfast… bacon, potatoes, mollette

ME: a mollette?? what’s a molette?? something french??

HIM: Um. Typo. I meant omelette

OMG!! And another one:

ME: So what kind of stuff do you eat?

HIM: Regular stuff. Hot dogs, eliopes.

ME: Eliopes? What’s that, some kind of fish?

HIM: Oops. Typo. Meant Elio’s

Heh.. yea.. so anyway… he’s a great chef.. where the hell was I going with this?

Oh.. ok.. so he would make dinner at night and it would be a meat, protein and starch.

Before I met him, I was used to eating grilled chicken and brown rice.. steamed vegetables.. whole grains.. You know, the healthy stuff.

Him.. his idea of “healthy” was deep fried pork chops and mashed potatoes with a pound of REAL BUTTER!!

He also got me to be alitle more adventurous.. I knew that even if I didn’t like something, at least it would have been made properly. I had never had trout before. In my family, fish is cooked one way. Breaded and Friend. I never ate fish before because it always looked disgusting. So one night when he said he was making trout I was like.. “um.. yea… I’m going to head down to Baja Fresh”.

He was like no. no.. just give it a chance. And you know what, I loved it.

Not the shrimp though. I mean, it was cooked perfectly, like in a Food and Wine article .. but I couldn’t get past the texture.

So going from “.. I’ll eat chicken and brown rice right before I keel over from starvation” to a breakfast, lunch and dinner every night :: not to mention the cheesecakes, rice pudding’s and jewish apple cakes he would make on a whim :: I started to gain weight.

I am now a 16. A 16 that fits. A 16 that fits alittle TOO good. I’m conscience of it and have made adjustments and cut things out because I don’t want to go any higher.. and I told him that he needs to be a little more conscience about all the butter and greasy and stuff that he makes.

He is making an effort … but he REALLY needs not to stand there perplexed in the morning when his jeans don’t fit and says matter of factly, “Hmmm.. guess I went down another size!”

I’m glad he doesn’t take me calling him an asshole seriously!! LOL!