Posts Tagged ‘Date’

.. I guess anytime we go out without the kids is “date night”, huh?

Ok.. so anyway last night we got tickets to go see the similcast of Glenn Beck’s Common Sense tour.

Now, I know alot of you are retching at the mere mention of his name but in all seriousness he isn’t the next Limbaugh or Hannity.

Thank GOD!!!

Anyway, I’ll post my thoughts about that later.

The shindig started at 8 so Chief closed the shop at 6. I usually get there around 10 of but of course, I got stuck in a major traffic jam and don’t roll up until around 6:20.

NOTE: In case you don’t know this about me I am a time-watcher. I HATE to be late.. it’s one of my pet peeves and I usually have everything timed down to the second :: including any potential delays ::. It’s something that really does get on people’s nerves!! LOL.

Spaz was there and since he had to have his trough reloaded fed dinner, we just swung him by Taco Hell. Bubba was going to be out with his friends :: surprise surprise :: so Chief gave him money to get something to eat.

We get home and there really isn’t time for me to get into the shower. I had my hair back :: it’s easier NOT to have masses of unruly curls in my face when my head is down at work :: and you know, I was going on a DATE!! I wanted to be a GIRL!!!

You know, Chief and I are at the point in our relationship :: use that term loosely, thank you very much :: where nothing in sacred. Meaning that things you would NEVER EVEN DREAM OF CONTEMPLATING when you first meet are now so common place you wonder what the heck you were so obsessed over… like farting, leaving the bathroom door open, burping, hairy armpits, no make up, hair not frizz-free or perfectly straightened… you get the idea.

But you know, when we go out like that I like to do the girl thing. And I do it well. Believe me. AND fast.

So in the span of 5 minutes, I had my hair and make up done :: thank you Wilfred Academy and Mr. J!! :: and when Chief came into the bedroom to hurry me along he was like, “Wow. You look pretty.” I was all tomboy-eyeroll but he said, “No, you look really, really pretty.”

That was nice.

So we leave and I tell Spaz to relay a message to Bubba that since his clothes are STILL on the stairs, he has until I get home tonight before I throw them out. Because the next day was trash day and I’ve only told him 3 times already.

Chief was starving so we went to BK’s drive through. I really didn’t want anything fast because 1) I’ve been doing really well with the whole eating thing and 2) Movie Popcorn. I can’t NOT have movie popcorn. But I figured one time wasn’t really going to set me over any cliffs so I indulged.

This particular movie theater is two levels. The screening room we were in was on the 2nd level. Obviously a Thursday night is not peak movie night because there was nothing else playing on the second level. In fact, I guess they figured a bunch of Glenn Beck viewers weren’t going to be any trouble at all since there was NO ONE up there except the people in the screening room.

At some point, right before the show started, the sound went out. There was no one in the projection room :: I know, because I climbed on top of the last row of chairs to reach up and knock on the little window :: so Chief went out and down to where the customer service window was to tell them.

The girl was like, “… oh, that happens sometimes. They just restart it” and Chief said, “.. well, it’s a live similcast. There is no rewind.” The girl was like, “huh? Watchu mean?”

NOTE: Did I tell you we went into the city for this?

The wind up was they just moved us to the screening room next door.

Right after the show started, Beck said something hysterical. I don’t exactly remember what it was but when I tell you that I just started LOL-ing for real.. I was I LOL-ing FOR REAL! Chief was like, “… shh!!!! shh!!!! shh!!!!” which only made me laugh louder.

On the way home he mentioned something about it.. and it was all good natured.. that we were THAT couple that doesn’t shut up in the movies.

I was like, “… well, yea. But it was funny.”

“.. Oh, it was funny alright”

… and at least I laughed in the RIGHT places!”

“That you did..rabbit.. that you did.”

We were driving along for about another 20 minutes when he said.. completely out of the blue.. “.. honestly, I love how you laugh.”

It was so simple and so sincere and I thought, “.. you fucking jerk off, WHY CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT’S GOING ON AND MAN FIX IT?”

Oh.. oh.. remeind me to post about BUBBLEGUM. Seriously, you’ll want to hear about that. I just can’t type about it now because of where I’m at.

So we get home and every single light in the house is on.

Bubba was in his pajamas lounging on the couch.. his jeans and socks scattered on the floor. The blanket was on the floor… there was a taco bell sauce packet on the floor next to the door way AND Spaz’s taco bell bag filled with suace packets, trash and I believe a Volcano taco sitting in front of the tv.

Bubba’s clothes were up in his room though.

So I tell him to put his stuff in the hamper and started picking up the stuff left on the floor… put it in the taco bell bag.. went into Spaz’ bedroom and promptly threw it on his sleeping body.

I went into my bedroom to get changed and yelled out to Bubba asking if his clothes were in the hamper yet.

I heard him get up and do it.

Me and Chief settled down.. me on the laptop harvesting cabbages in Farm Town and him flipping through cable.

He rolls over and says, “thank you for tonight” and then rolls back.

Between it being late and the bubblegum, my eyes were rolling in the back of my head so I turned everything off and went to bed.

I was knocked out.. so much so that I didn’t hear ANY alarm this morning so we got up late. While I was getting ready, Chief woke up Bubba :: who jumped in the shower :: and then Spaz.

When Spaz came out of his bedroom, Chief asked him if his clothes were clean. I turned to look at him and right away I said NO.. and went into the closet to get him a clean pair of pants.

He said the shirt was clean and I said it wasn’t.. he wore it all day yesterday. When I went into his room to get a shirt that I KNEW was in the middle of the HUGE pile of folded clothes on top of his dresser I saw the taco bell bag that I threw on him on the floor next to his bed.

I told him to make sure he put that in the trash and he said that Ernie The Terrorist Puppy dragged it in there…

Hm. Really.

So Spaz.. where WAS it that Ernie could get to it??? Hmmmmm????

I really didn’t feel like dealing with lies and stories so I told him that Ernie didn’t do it.. that I threw it on him when I got home because of where he left it.

He said that was mean.

I said it was mean that he left it on the the tv base.

So I gave him his clothes and leave the room for him to get changed and he asks me if I can do his laundry.. I told him I would tonight.

Chief was passing me when I was coming out of the hallway into the dining room and I heard him start telling Spaz about wearing the same clothes but he closed the door behind him so I didn’t hear what he said.

Which is fine. He’s a boy and there’s just something’s that only Chief can handle.

And he did so…

Spaz came out of his bedroom as we were walking out the door and I asked him if he threw the Taco Bell bag in the trash… he huffed and said he was trying to get changed.

Chief jumped on him that he was just laying on the bed when he went into his room and to make sure that bag was in the trash NOW.

He started to get up but we walked out so you know that bag is still in his bedroom. We should have waited .. I know we should have.. but we were running SO late that we just didn’t.

So now we’ll see…

I got tons of laundry to do tonight so I’m going to go right home after work instead of stopping at the shop to start my night.

Heheh…

DISCLAIMER: There is NO WAY IN HELL that I’m going to be able to convey this with ANY WHERE NEAR the hilarity in which is was originally presented to me!

FULL DISCLOSURE: You have to remember that this happened a few years ago and I can’t for the life of me remember if Goob told me this over the phone or in an email. I want to say email for a variety of reasons so it’s probably long gone by now..

Yep.. went back to November 2006 and couldn’t find it

Anyway… so… heh. You gotta know The Goob.. he’s this 6’4″ mass of Paul Bunyon-ess with tree trunks for arms and the how facial goatee thing going on. In fact, he even said him self that him typing on a keyboard is like gorilla pounding at it.

So.. good looking guy that he is.. he gets interested in one the bar flies patrons at the place where he bounced on the weekends.

AND.. being the guy that he is.. she took complete and utter advantage of him :: my opinion :: and played him like a mandolin. IF she knew what a mandolin was! :: my opinion, again ::

Anyway.. I don’t remember if HE asked her to a movie or SHE mentioned maybe.. possibly.. that she would LIKE to go to a movie.. the memory is fuzzy but the end result is that they made a plan to go to the movies on a Sunday afternoon :: Saturday? Sunday? Saturday? Help me out here Goob ::

So I know he really likes this tramp woman so he does the who metrosexual thing, yknow what I’m saying? And heads over to her place to pick her up.

He knocks at the door and this older woman answers.. I think it was the chick’s mother or something.. and she tells him to come in.

He goes in and he sees the tramp woman sitting on a couch next to this other dude.

And he tells me, “… Leese, you know the size of my nose right? I swear.. and you’re going to think I’m crazy.. but I SWEAR I SMELLED SEX! You know what sex smells like, right? You know what I mean, RIGHT???”

I know what ever I was drinking :: because I’m always drinking something :: shot out my nose because I was laughing so hard.

I asked him what he did… and he said he made up some excuse that he ate a bad hotdog on the way over and had to go home.

So he left.

I remember asking him if.. maybe… possibly the “aroma” was coming from the Old Lady’s “Y:: there goes the ice tea again! ::

But he was like NO! NO! IT WAS SEX! I SMELLED SEX!!!

OMG.. I have to go pee.. that’s how much I’m laughing right now

NOTE: None of the above is Goober’s fault. He did nothing but try to escort a young woman to the moving picture show! Make fun of him and I will shoot a spit ball at you!