Posts Tagged ‘Cops’


You know how people don’t expect certain people in one place or another .. or to be traveling the streets at oh.. say 2am?


This is so ridiculous.. honestly, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

So I ran out of cigarettes, right.. so I check on Chief’s nightstand and he’s out too. Since I’m no where near tired, I figured I’d drive over to the local convenience store and while I’m out, swing on over by the Dunkin’ Donuts. He’s usually up around 430 and I figured this would be a nice surprise.

I hit the convenience store first and then hit DD’s drive through. I get the coffee and for whatever reason, instead of turning right out of the drive way to take the normal route home, I turn left.

Turning left means driving through the really dark part of their parking lot and hitting three traffic lights before I get home so I really have no clue why I did that.

Must have been divine intervention because as I’m making the turn left and then making another short left my headlights swing across those big trash dumpsters and shine themselves on the Crack Whore giving one of the borough’s finest police officers a blow job.


You read that right!

Honestly though, it did catch me a little off guard. I mean, I heard the rumors and have been told stuff from other people but yknow.. I’m not going to say I DIDN’T believe them but it’s some something more credible when you actually see it for yourself.

And so I stopped the car.. with the headlights on them. It didn’t dawn on me then that they wouldn’t be able to see who was in the car because of the head lights.

She jumps up all wiping her mouth with the back of her hand while Dudley DooRight is all jittery trying to get his shit zipped up.

If only my cell phone camera had a flash!

She takes off like a wildabeast being chased by a Cheetah and he.. well, what can he do? Arrest me?? LOL!! Give me a fucking citation?? ROFLMAO!!!

And actually, I don’t know what to do… If I say something to him will he give me a perpetual pass for rolling through stop signs or will he be perpetually ON my ass? Could go either way and it’s not like every cop in this town doesn’t know who I am.. between Weed getting arrested and the time Chief got arrested and me getting into a fight yesterday and owning the only deli in town .. we’re like a warped rock stars..

So I just keep going without saying anything to him. He probably was thanking his higher being at the SAME time I was thinking, “.. yea. We’ll just going to tuck this one up my sleeve until it become necessary”

I drive out of the parking lot and turned right onto the main road up to my house. Now there’s only one or two street lights on this road because the whole right side is a cemetery. A cemetery that has a gate that’s always open and that people cut through all the time. And guess who I see walking up this road?

Yep.. the Wildebeast Crack Whore..

There’s no shoulder for me to pull over on and so I drive up to where the gate is and pulled into it just a minute or so before she would have gotten there.

I saw here flinch.. which, yknow.. I would have done also if I was walking down a dark road and a car pulls into the gate I was going to use to cut through the cemetery after being busted for blowing a cop behind the DD ..

Anyway.. so I I turn the over head lights on in the car so that she would at least know it was me and roll down the passenger side window.

ME: ( all cheery and shit ) HEY! What are you doing walking up here at this time in the morning? Did your car break down or something?

Yes. I am a bitch. A cunt, even. I keep telling people that and they never believe me!!! LOL!!

HER: (stuttering) Oh. No. Um. No. I. Um. <looking behind her> No. I. Um. Where are you going?

ME: (so loving this) I went over to get cigarettes and then swung by Dunkin’.. need a ride home?

HER: (cartoon eyes) When? Just now?

ME: Uh huh

HER: Just now this very second?

ME: Yea. Just now. Need a tissue?

HER: What?

ME: Do. You. Need. A. Tissue? You got something on your face.

And with that last statement she used her hands to wipe her face and said she had to go and took off around the car and into the cemetery.

And all I could say was OMG .. because really, as sad as it should be… it was fucking hysterical. Ahh.. life’s little moments!

… back on March 20th, Chief had to go to court for a preliminary hearing. At that time, his lawyer told him that the could get him in the ARD program :: Accelerated something-or-other ::, probabtion, community service and some fines but nothing that would stick to his permanent record.

Chief’s response was that he didn’t care about his records .. that he had his own business.. but the lawyer said that he should care because it could following in a negative way if Chief needed to get a business loan or something like that.

The lawyer said that Chief had to make a decision.. either do what needs to be done to end everything and get on with our lives, or keep fighting and spending 1000.00 everytime the lawyer faced a judge.

He said it was harsh to hear but you can’t play fair with an unfair system and it was ultimately up to Chief to decide.

I could feel my eyes welling up with tears and the anger inside of me was unbelievable. I felt like everything I thought to be true about democracy, about our justice system, about police officers was trashed.

Chief did nothing… ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.. but because we can’t afford attorney fees he was going to have to plead to something he didn’t do?

We didn’t even really discuss it.. Chief just went ahead and signed the paper work for the ARD program and waive his rights to a preliminary hearing in the borough so that it would be moved to the county seat.

My stomach hurt.. I felt like throwing up.. but what choice did we really have?

I started thinking about how many other people were in prison because of the same situation.. because they couldn’t afford a lawyer or maybe because their family had already been through enough. It was really too hard to think about and too taxing to come to terms with the fact that this was the way it was going to be .. especially because Weed, the bastard, was still walking the streets dealing pills and pot.

Initially, Chief was told that the new arraignment would be today but that he wouldn’t have to go the arraignment in the county seat.. that the lawyer was going to go. But Sunday when we stopped at the shop, the lawyer had put his business card in the door with a note to call him and that it wasn’t an emergency.

I called and the lawyer said that due to an emergency, he was going to be out of town today and that Chief was going to have to go to court and plead “Not Guilty” himself. He gave the time and other instructions and then he said that he had bad news.

He said that because of a previous gun charge, Chief would not be eligible for the ARD program.

NOTE: He was never convicted of a gun charge. Back when he was 17, his older brother got into a fight or something and there was a gun involved. Nobody was shot or hurt or anything, but because his brother was over 18 at the time and would have really fucked up his life with a gun charge, Chief took the wrap. Nothing ever became of it except a dusty blurb in his record of youthful mischief.

The lawyer went on to say that he didn’t know there was a gun charge and I told him that it was in the original warrant. He mumbled something but it pissed me off because OBVIOUSLY this jerk off didn’t even READ the warrant.

Chief said that he was glad he wasn’t able to get ARD because now he could just do what he wanted and fight the charges and we would do whatever needed to be done to see this thing through… even hire another lawyer because OBVIOUSLY we’re having serious second thoughts on this one!

So today he went up to the court house and was formally arraigned. He was back in about 2 hours :: they take people without lawyers with them first :: and now the pre-trial hearing is set for May 20th (I think).

Chief explained that the pre-trial is when they would probably try to hash a deal leaving him with nothing but a posession charge and a fine.

Hopefully that’s the way it will work but it still turns my stomache.

Oh.. and one other thing…

The Annonymous Informer? The one that we’re almost 100% sure was involved and haven’t seen since this all happened?

Yea.. well.. he came into the shop yesterday. I was there and Chief told me to hold my tongue.

Apparently, he had been in earlier and started asking Chief questions about the case and something about Chief fucking up whoever went to the cops or some bullshit like that.

Chief was really calm and said that there was nothing to talk about because he had nothing to worry about and let it go at that.

He explained was ironic that this dude happened to show up the day before his arraignment and that there was every possibility that he was wired to see if Chief would say anything ..  or it could just be that the dude knows how Chief is and wanted to find out if Chief knew he was involved. He also said that if he was the informant and was called to appear, that there would be no way in hell that he would show his face.

This whole thing just makes me head spin.