On Your Best Day …

One of my favorite Judge Judy quotes is:

On your BEST day your not as smart as I am on my WORST day

Now.. I know kids think their parents are dumb.

Luckily, I’m not a parent!

I didn’t hear Bubba return to the house after spending the weekend wherever because he was blocked from the computer.

I was sleeping .. and because my sleeping patterns are screwed up, I get up in the wee hours of the morning to a quiet house and the opportunity to do what I want to do and check what I want to check.

I’m seriously reconsidering trying to get my sleep back to normal.

At any rate, I wake up at around 3:30-ish and find the television on.. the dining room and kitchen light on.. and a bunch of crap on the table.

In other words, Bubba just picked his ass up and went to bed not bothering to turn off lights or straighten out his mess.

So I go on the desktop to play some Zuma Blast because I get higher scores then when using the laptop and took the opportunity to check the parental activity report. For shits and giggles.

And boy.. did I giggle.

Because Bubba tried to log on 17 times.

Under his account.. under my account.. under Spaz’ account..

Now.. while his father uses the same password for EVERYTHING and has used the same password for YEARS.. I’m a lot smarter then that. And even though he didn’t get anywhere.. in my mind he shouldn’t have even tried because HE knows the computer was locked down until Monday.

And so.. I decided that I was going to make his life even more miserable.

I set up another account.

One without a password.

One that CAN ONLY access the online school’s website.

I used the activity report to see what websites he was on and what programs he downloaded and blocked them all.

I blocked Google and Facebook and YouTube.. and a variety of other sites.

I blocked access to programs already installed on the computer like Skype and Teen Chat and Google Voice.

I blocked search engines and  email and a whole host of other things.

The only internet access the account has is through Foxfire and I made it’s home page the online school’s web url. I removed the search engine fields from the tool bar.. I stripped own and blocked everything I possibly could.

So now he can’t do anything but school work .. he doesn’t need Google to do it .. everything is contained within the website .. if he wants to listen to music? Well, guess what? There’s a freakin’ radio sitting right on top of the computer.

And I plan on sitting at the dining room table while he does his minimum of 4 hours of school work crocheting Baby Faith’s blanket..

I can tell you right now that this is going to come between me and Chief

And I can tell you right now that I don’t give a flying fuck.

GOD I love Vista!!

Things I Believe

• … in guns, God and the constituion
• … I just pissed off about 90% of Americans! LOL!
• … in that nasty three letter word :: no, not S-E-X :: G-O-D
• … that given the choice, most people would do the right thing
• … if I don’t get a pedicure soon the Sisterhood is going to revoke my membership card
• … there is nothing wrong with freaky sex and vibrators
• … people with piercings, body stretchers and full on tattoos are inhabiiting a “lifestyle” and won’t be stealing your corporate job!
• … bald men are the sexiest thing in the world
• … there is no justification for putting ketchup on scrambled eggs
• … everyone is entitled to their opinions. Even when they’re wrong.
• … that Abby is the killer on Harper’s Island
• … white chocolate is far superior to milk / dark chocolate
• … in lots and lots of pillows on my bed
• … if people took a deep breath everything would be ok
• … there has to be a scientific explaination for belly button funk
• … you don’t appreciate what you have unless you work for it
• … the US will fuck Israel big time
• … this country is going to fail big time and those without common sense or work ethic will perish
• … “labels” pigeon hole people into boxes they don’t necessarily fit in to
• … the devil created fudge caramel swirl ice cream, shrink wrap plastic and Jack Russell Mixed puppies named Ernie
• … that nothing feels nicer then getting into a bed with clean sheets right after a shower.
• … the only thing better then getting into bed with cleans sheets right after a shower is getting all them all twisted and sweaty with Chief!
• … pictures of naked men will ONLY freeze my computer :: with the 19in monitor :: when my boss is walking by my cube
• … in love over hate.. tolerance over prejudice… lifting up instead of tearing down
• … it is our moral obligation to help those when we can
• … ignorance and complacency is far more dangerous then radical Islam
• … people have a right to live their lives the way they see fit as long as it isn’t a detriment to me and mine
• … marijuana should be legalized. Really. Do you know how fast this country would get out of debt with a tax on the 420?
• … a good book is better then any Oscar winning movie or documentary
• … that if I ever tried to Bible Thump somebody they would thump me back harder
• … that there is no role for Tripe in the 21st century
• … laughing at yourself is far better then laughing at someone else
• … I better get a cup of coffee RIGHT NOW if I want to stay awake past 2pm