Posts Tagged ‘Christianity’

You know.. I have a habit of saying that I need to get paid to live my life.

I’m serious.

A check would really, really, REALLY be helpful right now!

Anyway.. ok.. so…

Reality Check.

The real kind.

WARNING: Nothing you are about to read is made up. I can assure you that I am not sitting up in my double king sized bed surrounded by over spoiled lap dogs and tons of pillows getting annoyed by my assistant who keeps bursting into my sanctuary to take calls from various people listed on the Who’s Who of The World.

I so wish.

Anyway..

So we’re home from our road trip and I’m absolutely dreading Tuesday. Why? Because Tuesday is when my bank processes every transaction from the weekend. And even though I’ve been literally squeaking because I am very, very cautious when spending money since we closed the store we completely had to trash my account because of the Road Trip.

I was due for an unemployment check on Wednesday.. but it’s the next to the last one so this was NOT a good time to trash the finances. Necessary, of course. Even though we didn’t spend anything we absolutely didn’t have to.. we still spent more then we thought we would.

Still, I didn’t think it was going to be ALL that bad.. I thought that we were covered because I wrote a check for the $191.00 title/tag fee for Consuela. Remember I said that I could float that because by the time it was deposited it wouldn’t clear until Wednesday when my unemployment came in?

Yea.

No.

When I dared enough to take a peek at my account online, the check had already cleared. What? Wait… WHAT?

I know for a fact that my bank doesn’t have a local branch but  I guess the notary had some type of electronic gizmo that processes checks the same way one would process credit or debit cards. I know they exist and really, in this day and age why wouldn’t you have a gizmo like that when you accept checks?

So now my account was going to get hit with way more over draft charges then I originally thought and at 35.00 a pop, I’d be lucky if I was going to be able to remain in the black when my UC check came in.

Mind you.. I am not pointing blame at anybody else or playing a violin. I take full responsibility for the things that I did to make my account a mess… I just didn’t realize how much of a mess. Fact is, after all was said and done, I had around 400.00 after my UC came through.

Ok.. so not sooo bad, right?

Honestly, it wouldn’t be except that upon returning home from the road trip I found out that I had to pay the 128.00 cable bill before the 14th to avoid shut-off. I have to keep this current for 2 reasons.. one, Bubba and the whole cyber school thing and two, we are going to need service when we move and if I keep the bill current then there isn’t an issue with just changing the address.

I also received a 3 day shut off notice for the water. That’s 124.00.

So ok.. I’m not exactly jumping through hoops here but you know, at least I have enough to pay the cable and water and we’ll just have to make due because really, what ELSE is there to do?

And then I receive a call from my landlord.

I still owe him 675.00 for December’s rent and have told him that he will get that money. I’m not trying to beat him out of it or skip town or whatever. I may not have it RIGHT NOW but I filed my tax return so I will be getting a little something back (I had requested taxes taken from my UC) .. and Chief will be getting a nice return back but we can’t file his until the end of the month because the IRS hasn’t released one of the forms he needs yet.

He asked me where we were moving and I told him, honestly, I didn’t know. My fragile house of cards had collapsed and the only thing that I could do was leave it up to God. He asked if we would have to stay in the house another month. I told him that I still owed him money for December .. how could I do that?

Then he busts out with ‘.. and for January.”

Wait.

WHAT?

Apparently, the money that had been put up front when Chief had moved into this place was 1st month and 2 months security. This was NOT the information Chief gave me.. he told me that he put up 1st month / Last month / security.

Mind you, he got this house before I was ever in the picture and truthfully, I’m sure HE wasn’t the one who handled the transaction.. only signed where he was told to..

So now we owe our land lord ANOTHER 1400.00 for January and he told me he’d give me a call sometime next week to come see the house. Wonderful.

And it’s all getting a little too much for me to shoulder.

When I said that our little fragile house of cards had fallen, I wasn’t kidding and I wasn’t trying to get sympathy. It’s exactly the way it is.

The end of the month is fast approaching and we have no where to go.

West Virginia may be a probability somewhere in the future but it isn’t now. Even if the property was flat, it’s going to take more money then we’re going to have to build a foundation, finish paying off the double wide and paying to move it from where it’s at to where it’s going to go.

I ask you.. what the HELL were we thinking??

I’ll ask you again just for the effect.. WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING???

This whole journey from the day we closed the store has been nothing but us putting out money for places and things that never panned out..

And it’s more then a little discouraging .. especially because we are no closer to finding a place to move only now we have a lot less money to do it with..

It’s making my head spin.. keeping me up at night and doing things to my innards that are better left undiscussed.

Year ago.. when I was a kid.. there was a tele-movie on one night about a woman who found herself homeless. She did everything “right” in her life but I think her house caught on fire and for some reason it wasn’t insured or whatever .. that quick, she found herself homeless and it scared the hell out of me .. the thought that things could change in the snap of a finger ..

I thought about the movie (I think it starred Christine Laihti) in the middle of the night recently and it was all I can do to make the waterfalls keep from drenching my pillow.

Do I have the option of moving back in with my mom or with my brother? Of course.. I do have a way. “I” have a way.. but that would mean leaving my family .. and as much as I feel like I want to leave them sometimes, I really don’t.. and I wouldn’t.. not in these circumstances.

The boys could go with the Crack Whore.. no biggie. But my main concern is the dogs and cats. My mother would freak and my sister in law is high allergic. The other option is to move Conseula back to PA and possibly put it on my brother in laws property until we can get our shit together.

So I worry.. worry hard.. count down the minutes until we have to leave this house.. and then what?

Dunno .. but I do have faith.

As ridiculous as it may sound to those of you that don’t .. I know that God will take care of us and put us where we need to be when we need to be there. And while He does provide, no one said it would be easy ..