Posts Tagged ‘Brother’

Okay.. so in catching up with my Blogger Buds, I skipped over to THE NIGHTMARE SCREENPLAY for some genuine OMG! WTF! hysterics.

You really have to read this blog … Mark is like the dude you wanna just sit around shooting the shit with.

Anyway.. so I’m reading his stuff and spraying coffee out of my nose and  all over my laptop from laughing and then I get to a post where he tags me for Kreativ Blogger!

My Blog Buds rock the shit out of the universe, don’t they?

kreativ

So what I’m suppose to do is list around 10 things that you don’t know about me and then tag 5 people…

You know.. I want you to appreciate JUST HOW DEEP I had to dig to find 10 things since, yknow… come on! I tell you guys everything!! LOL.

So PLEASE don’t be shocked…
So PLEASE don’t judge…
and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Mom.. stop reading NOW!

Ok.. so here goes:

  1. I started the first 6 months of growing in my mother’s belly as a twin but the other baby died in the womb. Because this was like, 44 years ago, there wasn’t much for my  mom to do but carry to term and then give birth. The other baby was a boy :: we were suppose to be Christopher and Christina, for the love of God :: so my mother is CONVINCED that the reason why I was a tomboy growing up and have that “take no shit” attitude is because I was “.. soaking in testosterone for 3 months.” Her words. Not mine. I can write with both hands though.. so that’s a plus!
  2. I created a website called DAGO DONGS as a joke because my bestest friend in the whole wide world was hard up for cash and his only attribute was that dangling thing between his legs. We got a good laugh from it until the joke was on us when someone who I told the website about actually wanted to place an order!! So I not-really-HAD-to convince him to buy a MAKE YOUR OWN DILDO mold kit but he couldn’t get it just right and I had to get one of my OTHER friends to make one. I heard it was a hit but I refused to look at the finished product .. cuz.. yknow.. THAT would be just weird!!
  3. I discovered ANOTHER reason for the high choir balcony at church and being my clumsy old self, my leg twitched and banged into a stack of metal folding chairs. You know that whole domino effect thing? Yea.. well.. um.. middle of mass + loud crashing noise = me on the express train to hell. I’ll let you fill in the details because I bet you’ll get what I’m saying here!!! LOL
  4. I used to have parties at my grandmother’s house when she was away and my mother would give me the key so I could water her plants. Dew on the lillies, indeed!
  5. My brother used to absolutely WIG OUT around cigarette butts. Since my dad was a heavy smoker and there was always an ashtray around, I would chuck them at him when he was being a annoying and he would run screaming to my mom.. who would just laugh because, parent or not.. it was pretty damn funny.
  6. I have Spaz’ Nintendo DSi … but SHHHHH!!! Don’t tell anyone!!
  7. I started art school because I really, really, REALLY wanted to be a tattoo artist but I was too afraid to actually ink anyone because I was afraid of messing up. One of the rare instances where fear stopped me from doing something I wanted.
  8. I tell my mom that I go to the cemetery to visit my dad’s grave ALOT more often then I actually do. I don’t think it’s really necessary to linger over a tombstone but it makes her feel better so .. yknow.. I’ll take the hit for lying
  9. There’s something that I had done because someone else had it done and wanted me to do it to so I did … it’s my next TMI Thursday post so pretty soon, it won’t be something that nobody knows about me.. but I’m putting it here just so that .. yknow.. you’ll get interested enough to read the post!! LOL
  10. I used to have really long.. really wild.. really 80’s.. bleached blond hair. All the pictures have been destroyed since my mother was TOTALLY embarassed by it and wouldn’t acknowledge me as her daughter until I dyed it. Which I did.  To fucshia. But hey.. I was in cosmetology school at the time so cut me some slack!

Ok.. so there it is.

Now for the tagging part.. that’s a little hard because most of the blogs that I read all the time already have the award but IF YOU DON’T .. please feel free to swipe it! It’s my gift to you for actually reading this far!! LOL

… wasn’t really busy in the shop today. The last few days were killer so actually being able to stand behind the counter and read all the drama surrounding Michael Jackson and his kids in this weeks US Magazine was really a welcome relief.

Out of the corner of my eye, I happen to notice Sarge getting out of a black car. Normally, when he does pop around the shop, he’s in his work van so I kind of figured something was a little beyond unusual.

He just doesn’t come around for no reason.

I actually was waiting on a customer when Sarge, his wife and another woman walked into the store asking for Chief.

I told Sarge that he was in the back taking a nap and why doesn’t he go back there and wake him up. The other woman introduces her self to me and I shake her hand, apologizing for smelling like lunch meat.

Sarge’s wife, the Sea Hag, says dryly that that’s what I’m suppose to smell like. She meant because I was working in a deli but you have to know her to understand the context.

The Sea Hag .. for no reason and certainly no basis .. looks down on everyone and so I think even standing in our store was giving her hives.

At any rate..  Sarge returns from the kitchen soon followed by Chief who gives an OMG!! when he sees the other woman.

The Sea Hag immediately starts talking to me about my mother in law and the phone call I had received from her. Again reiterating that they weren’t the one’s giving out my phone number and that it had markings of something that the other brother would do.

She made it sound sinister and I told her that even though I never met the other brother, I can see how he would think that my cell number was the house number and really, there was no harm.. no foul.

She started telling me all these things about what her and Sarge had done for the mother and how the mother completely trashed them. How they spent a hundred dollars on food for her when Sarge was out of work :: making it seem like a hardship :: but that the mother turned her nose up to it.

I told her that I felt bad for the mother.. that having worked for a hospital that had owned a nursing home and required me to train their staff there, it was hard for me emotionally to come across people that were just casted off. I told her that I :: before the vile voice mail :: wanted to go visit her and that I had wanted :: before the vile voice mail :: to send her clothes and personal items annoymously :: which, of course, she said SHE wanted to do too :: but that I had to honor and respect Chief’s wishes.

She said that maybe we could do something for her together.. go visit her together but not get her involved in our lives :: contradictory to what she had said earlier about not having ANYTHING to do with her, mind you :: but again, I told her that I had to abide by Chief.

That it was about the whole “love… honor.. and obey” vow.

What I believe.. and you have every right not to go along with me here .. is that at some point in a relationship, a decision has to be made where both sides are at an impasse. And it is at such a point where someone needs to defer to the other. It could be Chief deferring to me or me deferring to him but someone is going to have to take the lead and it’s in those cases where I honor the “obey” part of my marriage vows. It’s trusting the other person enough to say, “.. ok. I don’t necessarily agree with you but if you believe as strongly as you do then I’m not going to keep [something] from progressing because I think I’m right”

It’s basically the art of picking and choosing your battles!!

At any rate.. she was going on and on about how Chief should go visit her. And I mean, really.. the way she said it and pointed her finger at him I literally wanted to jump over the counter and punch her nose through to the back of her head.

But that’s the kind of people they are…

Only SHE AND SARGE were the one’s that had to deal with her.. Only SHE AND SARGE were the “good” and “faithful” children who went to visit her etc, etc, etc.

It’s a crock of simmering shit is all that is.

So I told her what I had posted before… I did not grow up they way they did.. did not see.. hear.. feel.. or bear the scars of their childhood. Everybody has their own story.. their own version .. and then there is the truth. I am not going to judge anyone.. am not going to feel annimosity towards anyone else based on something I didn’t see.. hear.. or experience.

I am going on Chief’s word because he is my husband and my duty is to him. If  he.. as he said.. doesn’t want me to open the Pandora’s box, then I’m not. Regardless of my emotions or sentiments. He doesn not want his mother in his life.. in his kids lives.. in our life.. and that’s the way it’s going to stay until HE tells me other wise.

She got a little indignent but I couldn’t care less.

Apparently, our conversation was over because she said something to Sarge about leaving. The whole time me and the Sea Hag were talking.. Chief, Sarge and the other woman were having their own conversation and as everyone started to say their goodbyes, I heard Chief say something about emailing him and then tearing a piece of register tape.

I assumed he was writing down his email address :: which he never checks anyway :: and then we said our goodbyes and everyone left.

After they were gone, Chief said to me “.. well that was awkward” and I asked him why. He told me the other woman was his old girlfriend from when he was like 17 or something and that he was kind of pissed that Sarge just had thrown that on him.

I told him that considering the way Sarge is, he probably had a chubby just thinking about how Chief was going to react when they walked in.

On my part, I didn’t think anything of it. I knew that all the brothers had tons of friends :: both guys and girls :: growing up and that Sarge had become such a Facebook geek that he had reconnected with a lot of them.

Chief had told me about this particular girl before.. how her mother was crazy about his long-haired, motorcycle, bad-boy ass and that she [the mother] was the one responsible for talking him into going to culinary school.

I asked him if he thought that bringing her to the deli was the reason why the Sea Hag was so interested in monopolizing my attention and he said probably and then when he first saw her his first thought was, “.. omg, how am I going to explain this to Leese.”

Which I thought was a typical male response.

And I can’t say I’m bothered by it.. :: maybe a little by Chief’s assertion that he could tell she was thinking that he looked damn good :: because everybody has a past and I learned long ago that I can’t battle memories. But the masochistic side of me wonders what he was really thinking when he saw her. You know, how everybody gets the “What If” syndrome?

Make no mistake.. I know Chief loves me.. I know he knows what his life would be like without me. I am not a jealous person.. I am not an un-confident person :: for the most part :: but I am still a girl and sometimes there is a dose of competition that surfaces when you happen to be thrown into a situation where your brother in law brings your husband’s old girlfriend to your store! LOL!

Actually, I just think it was a shitty thing to do. Not so much for the sadistic-ness is seeing Chief’s reaction.. but for not at least thinking about how I would feel about it. How did he know that I wouldn’t just get all bent out of the shape or have it become an issue between me and Chief?

The fact is that he didn’t because he doesn’t care. All Sarge cares about is himself and the hell with everyone else.

Nice guy, huh?

I was replying to one of Auroracoda‘s post regarding the parent / child dynamic of interracial – intercultural relationships, I got to thinking about the same dynamic when there isn’t an interracial – intercultural relationship. Manly how parents are hard pressed to see their children as adults.

I had to move back in with my mom because of an emergency situation at my house. Namely, my ex holding the tip of a sword to my throat during an alcoholic black out where he insisted that he was going to kill me if his mother died of breast cancer.

His mother didn’t have breast cancer but that’s SO beside the point.

So me.. the dog.. and all my belonging were jammed into a 92 Chevy Cavalier. She was happy that I was there and out of the environment I was living in. My grandmother lives around the corner from my mom and she stayed there for most of the week so basically, there was going to be not that many nights where we would be under the same roof.

I finally had freedom. I could go where I wanted to go.. do what I wanted to do.. not have to answer to anyone. I could finally be an adult and make adult decisions.

Or so I thought.

My mom would call me every night at a certain time. To remind me to make sure the doors were locked.. To set my alarm clock.. but what I think she was really doing was making sure I was home.

It got to the point where I would tell her that I was taking the phone off the hook because the Mindless Minion kept calling so she was forced to use my cell phone.. that meant I could resume doing what I wanted to do. It also meant that I was lying and I didn’t want to feel like I was 15 again.

I met guys.. went out on dates .. developed semi-relationships with some of them.. other’s were just friends.

With each guy I met, I would tell her about them.. the excitement of meeting someone new and she would get caught up with it because she always felt that I married my ex too soon and here it was 18 years later.

There was a the Museum Guy, The Farm Guy, The ATF Guy, The Biker Guy, The Military Guy, The Executive Chef Guy, The Attorney, The Max Factor Guy, The Cousin’s Friend and then there was Chief.

I’m so not good at juggling people. I don’t know how man and woman can date more then one person at a time. I did try, but failed miseribly. When I told her about Chief, she had the same enthusiasm for me that the other one’s held but then it started to wane. I would call her and tell her that I was going over his house for dinner.. or to watch a movie or whatever and she would be more then less then thrilled.

She kept on wanting to monopolize my time.. every day she would call me early enough from work and tell me that she needed me to take her here.. or there.. or whatever.. always dropping the “.. I never see you anymore.”

She never saw me anyway but that wasn’t the point. And I can tell you.. I never left her flat but I began saying that I was going out with my girlfriends or some random guy just not to hear the tone in her voice .. you know that one.. the fake excitement?

One weekend, the kids were going to be out of the house and with their mother. Only Weed was going to be home but he would usually crash at a friends house. Chief begged me to stay over night.. we could watch a movie and he would make me breakfast the next morning.

I remember not having the guts to tell my mother I was staying there the weekend. Mortified is the word that actually pops into my head. So I didn’t. I copped out and called her at 1am :: because yknow, I did have an unofficial curfew. Parking is abysmal in her section of the city :: and told her that there was something wrong with the car and that Chief tried to fix it but it was too dark to see under the hood. She asked me where the kids were and I told them that they were at their mom’s. She said, “ok” .. well, that was all she could say and I told her I would see her the next day.

Sunday we get up and it was amazing waking up next to him. He made breakfast and then we went out for awhile .. ending up at my grandmother’ house becaue I wanted him to meet her and my mom.

The visit went well.. and afterwards she told me how handsome he was.. how intelligent he was to talk to. All seemed good. But she still didn’t like the fact that I was spending all my time with him.

I don’t actually remember when the next incident happened. I know that on that particular Sunday, I was driving her to my brother’s house for a first game of the season football party. I stayed over that night.. we got up the next morning and went down to a big flea market first before I left to go pick up my mom.

You know when you get that feeling in the pit of your stomache? When you inherently know something is wrong? I tried calling her but only got her answering machine. I told her that I was on my way and when I got to her house, she ignored me. She was on the phone when I walked in and she turned her back to me.. we left the house in silence and all I thought about is how the hour drive was going to be suffocating.

We got on the highway and finally I broke the silence and said, “If there’s something you want to say then you need to say it or this is going to be one hell of a long car ride”.

She made a noise in her throat and said, “.. is there anything you want to say?”

I told her I wasn’t playing this game. If she had something on her mind then she needed to come out with it or else suck it up.

All of a sudden, she came at me. Verbally. All the things she liked about Chief.. she turned around. He was no longer intelligent, he was a know-it-all .. that kind of thing. I told her that I appreciated that fact that I live under her roof.. that I wouldn’t do anything to purposely embarass her or disgrace her.. I also told her that I didn’t want to feel like I couldn’t tell her anything..

I don’t think she was anticipating that. I think she was expecting me to get defensive. In fact, I know it was because that was the first thing she said to me, “… if I say anything you’re going to get all defensive”

Put talking reasonibly and telling her that I respect that fact that I live in her house disarmed her alittle.

I told her that she had to trust the way she raised me. The point came up about me sleeping over with the kids and that she knew WE had lied when we were over my grandmother’s because Chief had mentioned something about Weed and I told her that the younger ones were away.. Weed was home but wasn’t home.. that kind of thing.. she told me that she wasn’t born yesterday and what about the night before.

I told her that I fell asleep on the couch with Spaz on the other side while we were playing video games.

That’s the truth.

Chief came out and actually covered us with a sheet.

That’s the truth.

Chief came out again around 330 woke me up and I went to sleep in the bedroom. That I kept to myself.

Look.. it’s not like I want to talk about my sexual excipades with my mother.. I don’t.. and I don’t think she does either.. but my mother was raised in a different era and some things just weren’t done.

I decided that I was going to need the aid of my brother. He understood the hardship I was going through and if HE told her that I was an adult and needed to be treated like one then she’d listen.

So I did .. and I told him that it wasn’t fair to Chief either. I mean, is he really going to put up with this situation? Would my brother if he was dating me :: don’t go all sick on me, I meant the situation :: or would I?

He brought it up at the most INOPPORTUNE time. namely with other people around so that my poor mother felt backed into a corner. She said something about her wanting me to date other people. I told her I HAD.. and I rather just be with Chief. I told her that I dind’t know what was going to happen.. how long we’d even be together but I had to live my life. She had no come back other then that I had only dated 2 or 3 guys and I ticked off the names like a laundry list…

She said she didn’t know there were that many and I told her that there was no reason for her to know.. I would tell her if there was somebody important and now there was.

Still not satisfied she started asking why I couldn’t just keep things lite and date other people.

OH. So you’d rather me be a whore that came home every night then be with someone who makes me happy.

Although things seemed to be settled on the surface, there was still this tension on the ride home. I knew that I was going to go over Chief’s afterwards and I was too afraid to tell her that. Until it was too late. Until I dropped her off in front of her house and told her where I was going. She slammed the car door and walked in the house without looking at me.

She didn’t talk to me for a good while and I want to say that I wrote her a letter about it. I know I did but that’s not what changed her mind.

What changed it for her is one night when I was getting ready to go out, I was walking to my car that was parked on the corner and she was walking behind me with a plumber she had come over to look at her toilet.

Out of nowhere, the Mindless Minion shows up and blocks my car with his truck.. reachs into my car window and slaps me across the face.. then tries to grab a hold of me by my throat.

Someone driving by wildly hocked their horn and when he turned I gunned the car around his truck and took off. I hadn’t realized then that my mother and the plumber saw the whole thing.

He started to follow me until he saw me dial my cell phone. I was calling 911 and he knew it so he turned down a street and was gone. I called my mom who was in shock that she actually witnessed what she did and I told her to call me if he hassles HER. Which he had a habit of doing.

That night, on my way home, I saw his truck parked at the corner of my mother’s street and him pacing back and forth across it. There was no good way for him not to see me so I called my mom and told her that I was going back over Chief’s and why. I started crying because I justed wanted my ex to leave me along.. SHE was crying because of the smae thing and finally she broke and said, “… it’s a good thing you have him [Chief]. At least you have a place to go.”

It was okay after that .. it was okay after I moved in with him.. for some reason, she was under the impression that we had seperate bedrooms but I think that was more of her not wanting to admit that her daughter was living in sin quite happily!!

1. I love blue raspberry anything but won’t eat it because it turns my tongue blue and I think I’m too old to have a blue tongue

2. At work, I generally wait until the very last minute to go to the bathroom and then have to do the pee-pee dance all the way down my aisle to the ladies’ room

3. I a degree in visual communication from the Art Institute that only presented job opportunities to lay out newspaper ads.

4. I wanted to be a tattoo artist but was never confident in my ability to ink something on someone that would last forever.

5. I have a fascination with cemeteries and old grave stones.

6.I really have to go pee RIGHT NOW but am holding it in and wiggling in my seat until I finish this sentence.

7. The only illegal thing I ever did was co-hort with two other people and cash a stolen check. Not that it’s an excuse but it was done because the rent needed to be paid and even though it was winter, the utilities had already been turned off. On top of that, my oldest Shepard had just given birth to 6 puppies. Almost 20 years later, it still sits on my conscience. I was questioned, but not charged. The Mindless Minion held that over my head until the day we divorced. And even after, actually.

8. I never “stole” anyone’s boyfriend.

9. They guy I went to my prom with was so obviously gay but i was so obviously in love with him that I refused to see it. I didn’t want to go to my prom but my friends.. and the gay dude.. forced me into it and all my purple taffeta drama. The prom was canceled the first time because of 36″ of snow :: God was definately giving me a hint! :: and when it was rescheduled, my “date” had had a hemorrhoid operation the week before. I had to drive us to the prom where I promptly hit a a concrete median causing the tire to go flat. Oh.. and the spare was flat too. We wound up walking to the prom where my date promptly passed out in the lobby from pain and the good nuns from my all-girl catholic high school gave him a room to rest. They barricaded that door with barbed wire, claymore explosives and a bouncing betty two because obviously they wouldn’t admit to themselves that he was gay either! He made an appearance for the official picture and then we took a cab home ending my prom night at roughly 9:45p

10. I was in love with Peter DeLuise :: 21 jump Street :: and still feel a flutter when I find episodes of the show on the internet.

11. I had a pen pal when I was a teenager that lived in Piedmont, California named Francie Sullivan. She was a year older then me, I think, but was just. so. freakin. cool. She used to vacation in Hawaii and her mother had ANOTHER STORY built onto their house. I don’t remember why we lost touch but we did. If you read this, Francie.. contact me.

12. I love raw dough and as a child, ingested about 4 loaves of easter bread my mother had on the stove to raise. It rose alright. In my stomache. I had to be rushed to the ER because I couldn’t breath and when they pumped my stomache and started extracting long taffy-like sections of dough, my mother almost killed me. Apparently, that happening is beyond an oddity but it happened to me. I wish I could get the medical records just to prove to the people who just nod their head like “yeeeaaaa… riiiigggghhhtt”

13. I once suffered “hysterical blindess” .. it was during a particularly bad agrument with my ex and I remember screaming at the top of my lungs and then I just couldn’t see anymore. My sight returned about 2 hours later during the wait in the ER but it was a scaring experience.

14. Years ago when my family and my uncles extended family used to rent a house down the shore, my cousin and I wrote our names behind the mirror in the bedroom. Wonder if it’s still there.

15. I was the only one of my cousins that wasn’t pregnant when I got married. Come to think of it both my mother’s children married because they wanted to.. not had to.

16. Both sides of my family are from the same little town in the same region of Italy.. so I am truly 100% FBI ;)

17. I wanted to be a photographer but couldn’t afford school.. instead I went to the Art Institute on a scholarship but at the time, they didn’t have a photography program. I also have my license is cosmotology but hated it.

18. I fell into my current career as an IT Business Anlayst by accident. I started working at a national .. probably world .. health insurance company because my student loads were due. I worked my way up the ladder and then switched over to the hospital side. Since revenue is not necessarily the most important thing an IT department has on their list in a hospital, I got tired of waiting for the stuff I needed to learned to do them myself. The first health system I worked for created a position for me and then I was head hunted by another health system that doubled my yearly salary.

19. Nothing on my dinner plate can touch each other unless they were meant to be mixed together :: ie: corn and mashed potatoes ::. The thought of eating something that has even the residual amount of another food on it makes me lost my appetite.

20. I eat thing seperately and in the order of least liked to most liked. For example, if there is Chicken, Mashed Potatos and Brussel Sprouts on my plate :: not touching, of course :: then I’ll eat all of the chicken first.. then the sprouts.. then the mashed. I annoy alot of people who eat with me and wind up making 70 million trips to a buffet line. I do the same thing with Skittles and Starbursts and the like. All one color first!

21. I was conceived as one of a set of twins. The other baby died at around 5 months and 43 years ago, the only option was to carry both to term and induce labor. I can’t imagine how my mother must have felt having to do this.. knowing that regardless of how happy she was to give birth.. she would be also have to mourn a loss. I was born two weeks early, on June 26th .. a date actually predicted by one of my mom’s neighbor’s friends who was semi-psychic :: or so she claimed :: One night she was visiting and she told my mother that they would be having my father’s birthday cake in the hospital. Low and behold, they did. I was born on my dad’s birthday.

22. I have a HUGE heart and compassion for animals :: especially dogs and horses :: and even the thought of something bad brings me to tears. Even cartoons or animatron movies have an affect one me. Years ago, I went to see the movie The Bear. It was a matinee filled with Sunday dads and their kids. Not five minutes into the movie.. where the momma bear dies leaving the cub alone.. I lost it and had to leave the theater. I’m actually tearing up right now thinking about it. Everyone in my house knows that when the ASPCA commercial comes on playing Sara McLaughlin’s “Angel” to turn it off or change the channel because I WILL become a puddle of heaping sobs.

23. One thing on my “Bucket List” is to spend time at the Best Friend’s Animal Refuge in Utah.

24. German Shepards are my favorite breed but all my dogs have been strays that found me.

25. My grandfather’s cousin is/was a famous bronze artist in Italy and Venezuela. There is even a street named after him.

26. I sway from left to right when I stand. It’s genetic.. my whole family does it. If you’re around us and you are prone to sea sickness… you may want to NOT be around us!

27. The Mindless Minion and I hold a US Patent for a devise that allows you to escape if you were locked in a trunk of a car. This was in the 90’s when trunk deaths were becoming the norm. All the car manufacturers passed on it until one summer when 9 kids died in the trunks of GM vehicles. GM then came out with a device that they literally stole from us but because they found a loop hole in a two letter word written into the patent document, it was perfectly legal. We didn’t have any money to fight it but would have lost anyway. So whenever you rent a car, check the trunk latch. If there’s an internal trunk release on it, think of me because I hold that patent.

28. We got alot of press locally for the invention.. primarily because of the circumstances involving one victim that put the idea into the Mindless Minions head. But we were also on Dateline NBC. We filmed at my uncle’s house and it was an experience that I will never forget. I used to have all the behind the scene stuff on tape but the idiot destroyed it in a fit of anger.

29. I dont’ have earlobes. My ears go right into my head so I don’t have that little flappy thing at the bottom. Therefore.. as much as I love them.. I can’t wear hoop earrings. Instead of hanging straight, they kind of angle out and I look like one of those chimp toys that you wind up and it bangs the symbols together.

30. I get my love of reading from my dad who always sat on the lounge chair with a book in his lap. In fact, I used to get more excited about the Reader’s Digest Condensed books then he did and was reading Smithsonian magazine when I was 9.

31. I was always artistic.. always had a pencil in my hand.. or marker.. or crayons. The spray paint didn’t come until later on!! I can also write with both hands

32.I’m a very non-judgemental person :: usually :: and have a high degree of tolerance :: most times ::

33.No matter how much anti-frizz product I use in my hair, it always frizzes when it rains

34. I’m not that much of a girly girl that I can’t find a ton of things better to do then to sit in a salon to get my hair done so once I get the urge to cut my hair, I have to get it done THEN. One time, I had an appointment and was there earlier enough but was told that the stylist was running behind schedule because of a perm. I thought that when the perm was finished I woudl be nexted but there was still ANOTHER woman in front of me. I had no desire to wait that long but couldn’t stand my hair any more so I went home.. got the dog clippers and shaved my almost mid-back length hair all off. It was very liberating, I’ll tell you what!1 The funnies was when my mom first saw it. I used to take her food shopping every Thursday night and when I pulled up to her house she told me that I looked like a lesbian. I laughed but when we got to the market, I make sure that I locked my arm in hers and said loudly, “.. so honey, what do you want me to make you for dinner?”. She was mortified. Hysterical.

35. I have been wearing Converse All-Stars :: Chucks :: since way before they became fashionable. I also buy them in the men’s department because they were 20.00 cheaper then in the Ladies’ department.

36. I once had a job writing erotic scripts for a 900 number for 75.00 a script. That included actually recording it. The who was doing it owned a jewerly store and had this recording set up in his basement. I think I wrote about 5 scripts and as I was reading them, he started getting a hard on so my ex kaboshed that career opportunity!

37. I have no issues with people meeting on the internet. To me, it’s like meeting someone in a store or in a park or something. There’s always the potential of meeting a wacko regardless of where you find them.. but there’s also the opportunity of finding something real.

38.I have this morbid fascination with picking stuff on my body.. pimples, scabs, blackheads.. gross, I know but what can I say?

39. My left boob is a cup size bigger then my right boob. I used to be really, really embarrassed by came to terms with it. Whenever I would start dating someone and there was a potential that there might eventually be some intimacy, I used to tell them that I got one regular and one super-sized and if they couldn’t deal then see ya. No one ever had a problem with it.

40. I’ll wear the same color toe nail polish the whole summer because I just can’t be bothered with the whole taking off the old and putting on the new.. however… I am a fanatic about having great looking feet in the summer.

41. I once started to get involved with a guy who was a big wig at a local nationally-known natural history museum until it became known that he had a smoking fetish :: he would get aroused watching people smoke :: and would get off on stories where the “mother” would be alittle more then suggestive with her “son”. Yep. That didn’t last long.

42. I’m pretty openned minded :: some would say freaky :: regarding sex but some things I can’t get past. One of my very first boyfriends was in a band and had his own place so I was there.. a lot! It was my birthday and I went over for dinner and he had this present for me. I openned it up and could see right away that it was lingerie. Black lace and deep blue satin corset, crotchless panties and fish net thigh highs. I took the corset out of the box to hold it up and it was about 3 sizes too big. I must have made a face because he asked me if I liked it. I told him I did.. but it was too big for me. He gave me this sly smile and said it wasn’t for ME it was for HIM. I was still young and naive that and didn’t get what he was saying so he flat out told me that it was for him to wear the next time we had sex. It dawned on me then that the drawer full of lingerie that I found looking for a tee-shirt was NOT the left overs from groupies past but HIS. I put everything back in the box and said SEE YA. He used to howl like Wolfman Jack when he came too so yknow.. that was too much disturbia for me!

43. I’ve convinced myself that having to euthanize an animal is in reality, giving them the gift of sleep. The best gift you can give in return for years of loyalty. One of the saddest days of my life was when my old neighbor saw a man tie a German Shepard to a tree in the park next to my house and then drive off. My neighbor.. another animal lover.. went over and saw that this dog was only about a year old male. Since I already had three dogs (two shepards, one shep mixed) she figured I wouldn’t mind one more. And really, I didn’t. But it turned out that this dog who probably had never had the love I poured on it in the first three hours.. became very protective of me .. even towards my ex and my other dogs to the extent that I had to keep him on a leash so that he wouldn’t attack my girls :: the three dogs I already had :: The plan was to have him fixed in hopes that his testosterone would be curved but I knew that he was way too aggressive and spastic. I also knew that eventually, I would not be able to keep him annd that meant either finding a new home or a shelter. The cycle was going to keep happening for this poor animal and I didn’t have it in my heart to knowing chance that he’d get a good, patient home when in reality, I knew that those chances were slim. So I went to my vet’s office :: my god, you should see the tears coming down my face right now :: and told him to put him to sleep. At first my vet didn’t want to do it but after I explained the situation , he understood where I was coming from and new as well as I did what was in store for this poor dog. So I sat down next to him… laid him in my lap and gave him all the love I could until he closed his eyes for the last time. Because that’s what he deserved.. at the end, he needed to be loved the way he should have been all along.

44. My favorite all time show is HIGHLANDER. Not the movies with Christopher Lambert but the tv show with Andrian Paul as Duncan McLeod. I had every season on tape.. and all the swag. I even used to write scripts for the show in my spare time. Long hand on legal pads. I think they might still be at my moms.

45. I was not asked to be in my brother’s wedding.. the reason why he didn’t talk in two years. And if my nephew hadn’t been born, we probably still wouldn’t be talking. I had just assumed that since I was his only sibling, I would be included. I don’t think that was an unreasonable thought. But apparently, he had other ideas and I didn’t find out I WASNT in the wedding until my sister-in-law was telling my mother that everyone already got their dresses and shoes. I looked at my mom.. my mom looked at me and I knew then that my mom had known all along. It hurt me worse because he was the best man when I got married. Granted, it was only at city hall but so what. So, I decided I wasn’t going to go to the wedding which happened to be 3 hours away in my SIL’s hometown. My dad was dying at the time so even though I told him why I wouldn’t go to his wedding, to everyone on the outside it appeared as though I was missing it to tend to my dad. I remember telling him that he’d never get one up on me and that there had proved it. We’re okay now. I’ve come to terms with the whole thing but still wiz it at him every now and again when I need to.

46. No one believes that I’m 43 years old. The general consenses is that I look around 35. You can blame that on good genes. My grandmother is 95 and my mother is 74.. neither of them have wrinkles and both look great for their ages.. so unless I die early like everyone on my DAD’S side.. I should be looking pretty damn good in my later years.

47. I always said that I was a city girl with a country soul. I love country music, riding horse, mucking out stalls, riding on the gator and having the horses take hay from your hands. Working on a farm is laborous work but I much prefer it to sitting in a cube. You know what you have to do and you do it. There’s no mental gymnastics involved. My ex and I were friends with a family who own an 80 acre horse farm upstate. I nicknamed it the Prozac Ranch because everybody there either was on it or needed it but they were inherently good people and I have alot of stories and alot of laughter from the time spent up there. One day, I’ll tell you all about the time their daughter :: who fell off a horse at a young age, apparently hit her head and from that point on claimed that she was the incarnation of an indian princess with spiritual powers. No lie :: convinced me to go a “nature” walk with a group of lesbians. Funny stuff. Unfortunately, I lost the friendship in the divorce. It bothered me immensely that for all the trouble that my ex gave them over the years.. and he did.. believe me he did.. that they would tell me that I wasn’t welcomed there any longer. The short version is that one day I brought Chief there.. up until then, I believed that they didn’t want anything to do with my ex because the last time he was there he caused such a scene and the state police had to be called .. all because they wouldn’t do what he wanted.. which was to not hire black people to work at the ranch. Because of that.. I felt a measure of safety going there with Chief. They were an important part of my life and I wanted to introduce everyone. The ranch would be a great place to bring the boys and let them be boys, yknow? But apparently, the son called my ex after we had left and told him that I was up there with my boyfriend. The son is, in all truthfullness, borerline retarded and takes prozac and a few other things so I know that he didn’t do it maliciously. He just saw it as an opportunity to call my ex .. since he was close to him and looked up to him in a mildly retarded prozac taking way. All hell broke loose then and I was told that I wasn’t welcomed there anymore and that I owed them 100.00 because me and Chief went riding for an hour. It’s a shame but it is what it is.

48. I can speak italian.. but can’t speak it when someone else wants me to. I freeze up because I can’t roll my R’s and it comes out sounding like I have a thick southern accent! Plus, the Italian I learned growing up is the bastardized version. It’s Italian with alot of broken English mixed it in so basically.. the only people who can understand us is each other!! LOL

49. My preferred wardrobe is jeans, tee’s, one of Chief’s flannel shirts, my converse all stars and a baseball hat. But.. when I have to do the girly thing? Watch out! My have an obscene addiction to all shoes high and strappy and years ago when I had nobody else to worry about but me, there was a month where I got three pays so one of them went towards a gorgeos pair of 800.00 Manolo Blahnik stiletto heels. I went to Nordstrom’s but they didn’t have my size so the kind lady called the California store and had them shipped to me. Not for anything but money doesn’t impress me much. I know that it won’t make you happy and that was one of the biggest arguments with my ex. He though that winning the “BIG” lottery would cure all his ails. He didn’t want to hear that if he wasn’t a happy person to begin with.. money wasn’t going to do the trick for you. But whatever. Anyway, even though I’M not impressed with money, apparently the people are Nordstrom’s are because they were much much more then accommodating! When I received the shoes, they came in their box in the their own flannel bag and when I tell you that I put those shoes on my mantle and would have put velvet ropes around them, I would have. But as I said, that was then. Now, I think they’re in a trash bag with alot of other shoes that I brought over from my mom’s house when I moved in with Chief.

50. This was probably the hardest.. longest thing I ever did. Probably because I’m very.. um.. wordy? Or possibly, because I’m Italian it takes me longer to type because while one hand is using the keyboard the other hand is motioning!!!