Posts Tagged ‘Anniversary’

.. so Thursday was me and Chief’s three year anniversary.

OMG.. it feels like 90!! No.. seriously..  when I tell you we’ve packed A LOT of drama in the 365 x 3 days we’ve been together then that’s a HUGE understatement.

I started to list the Good, Bad and Ugly but it was too exhausting.

I really need a reality show… no lie. I really should get paid for living my life!

At any rate…

Chief had wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate but given our financial situation.. I really couldn’t justify spending the money when the rent for both the store and house were due. Sometimes you just have to say “.. what the fuck”.. and he IS a “.. what the fuck” kind of guy but that’s why I have to be the “adult” in most situations and be responsible.

Beside, in past years he’s always been good about getting me a diamond this or diamond that all on his own so I could forgo the usual this year and not feel slighted.

He did wake me up Thursday morning with a card and four rolls of SweetTarts.. It was definitely an Awwww!!! moment.

There was a little snafu in the middle of the day because, really, what would my life be without a snafu?? I can never get to point A to point B without a lot of twist and turns, yknow?

So the night before we had to pay the rent for the house.

The rent is 1400.00.. and because of the way my unemployment checks fall, I have to give them two checks. One for 1000.00 and the second for 400.00 dated for the day my next unemployment check falls.

My landlord.. dick that he is.. really doesn’t mind that. He knows the situation and he knows that the house is so OUT of code that he would have to sink a lot of money that he doesn’t want to into the house in order to re-rent it. So he basically leaves us alone.

Unfortunately, he isn’t local… so we have to drive something ridiculous like 20 miles to the rental office. It’s a pain in the ass but it’s something that has to be done and usually me and Chief take the ride at the end of the night and get some time together without the kids and dogs and cats.

So we drive out there on Wednesday night.. stopping at our store first so that he can get me TWO envelopes for the TWO checks that I’m turning over to the landlord.

I put the checks in their respective envelopes in the car.. write CAN DEPOSIT IMMEDIATELY on one and DEPOSIT ON AUG 11th on the other. We drive out to the rental office.. double park.. and Chief jumps out and puts the envelopes in the door.

Fine.

All’s good.. right???

Yea.. come on.. you read this blog.

Thursday afternoon, I’m in the store and the phone rings. It’s the landlord’s secretary. She’s asking about the second check.. which was actually 425.00 because I had to pay the rent a day late and there’s a 25.00 late fee for everyday that we’re late. It’s bullshit but yknow.. I’m not going to make any more waves then they make for me so I buck up the extra 25.

So she’s saying something about this check and I couldn’t quite get what her point was … I explained to her the why the amount was the way it was and what the HELL was the problem? She explains that she only got the one check and I’m like.. no, there were two envelopes. The other envelope has the check you can deposit right away.

She says she doesn’t have another envelope and puts me on hold to check the mailbox. In the meantime, I go into the back of the store where Chief is playing a round of Call of Duty and his dad is peeing in the bathroom with the door open (GOD!!!!!)… so I ask him if he put two envelopes in the door.

Then I ask him again because.. yknow.. he’s playing COD and never hears me the first time.

He said no. As a matter for fact, he only put one envelope in the door?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WHAT THE FUCK DUDE!!!

I’m like.. completely taken off guard. I stomp through the store on my way to the car to find the other check when the secretary gets back on the phone and says that I might want to contact my bank because there was no other envelope.

OF COURSE THERE ISN’T!!! I screamed.. BECAUSE THE FUCKING DOUCHE BAG DIDN’T PUT IT IN THE DOOR!!!!

I apologize all over myself and tell her that I’ll drive up right away and give them the check so that they can deposit it before the bank closes.

Then I stomp back through the store.. grab my keys.. and tell the asshole that I have to drive the TWENTY MILES UP AND BACK on less then a quarter tank of gas.. because HE’S an IDIOT.

I don’t wait for him to say anything and my father in law has the good sense not to say anything either.

When I tell you I was pissed.. believe me. I was pissed. More pissed too, because I didn’t have any cash on me to get gas for the trip.

On the way up, I was almost in tears.

On the way back, I came to terms.

Whether I like it or not.. whether it makes my life easier or harder.. he is who he is and I married him. I either have to accept him.. and accept the stupid, bullshit things that he does.. or I don’t. Either I assume responsibility for handling everything that has to do with the house and finances, etc. or I don’t. Either I stay married… or I get divorced.

And the thing is.. there are things that I am just better at. Paying the bills on time and managing money being at the top of the list.

With everything going on OUT Of my control ( read that as being his kids ) .. I have to control the things that I can and I can’t fault him for not being the person I WANT him to be… and for all his faults, he does have more redeeming qualities that maybe I don’t talk about enough here.

It’s really as simple as that.

So by the time I got back to the shop, I was over it.

And when I walked into the store (( behind the cop who was asking if anyone from the shop had called 911.. but that’s ANOTHER story ))  he stopped slicing a customer’s order and just hugged me.. telling me how sorry he was and how much he loved me.

I appreciated his sincerity more then he could ever know..

I stayed for a few more hours and when I was getting ready to leave, he said:

HIM: I have an idea!!!!!! Let’s recreate our first date!!!

ME: Um.. yea.. I don’t think you can..

HIM: What do you mean?

ME: Dude.. you don’t have it like that no more. You’d need to close the store and take a four hour nap first?

HIM: Why? We went for coffee that night

ME: Yea.. and fucked for five hours straight afterwards..

HIM: Ooooohhhhh…. yea….. that’s right! Raincheck, maybe??

Just so you don’t get the wrong idea, I don’t make it a habit of having sex with someone on the first date.. there’s a back story to that but that’s another post for another time..

In the end, we had hot dogs for dinner because we were broke and the boys were home. We locked the dogs out of our room.. put a blanket on the floor and ate our hot dogs pretending we were sitting at the primo table at the Palms.

Sometimes.. you don’t need a lot of money.. and sometimes, you just have to accept things the way they are and be happy in it.

.. so Tuesday, August 5th was me and Chief’s 2 year anniversary.

Feels like we’ve been together WAY longer then that :: in a good way.. heh.. AND a bad way!! LOL ::

This year’s anniversary was awesome. Dinner at my new all-time favorite neighborhood joint :: gotta love neighborhood joints.. even though this one is three neighborhoods over!! :: .. taking in a spontaneous movie .. an awesomely perfect card with a picture of just a couple’s feet that are laying face down on a bed and the inside that read My Favorite Place In The World Is Next To You. Inside he wrote the following:

Hi Baby,

I know putting up with me is hard and so often our lives seem a struggle but without you my struggle would be lost,, I would be lost..

So after 2 years and a lot of stress.. Honey, I love you more now then ever and more everyday

Yknow… you can keep the dinners and movies and stuff because just what he wrote was enough of a gift.

Heh.. BUT!! He also got me this:

pendant

You had to be there when I opened the box:

ME: (sqqqquuueeeeaaallll) OMG! OMG! OMG!

HIM: It matches the earrings I got you for your birthday

ME: (sqqqquuueeeeaaallll) OMG! OMG! OMG! It’s a Past, Present and Future pendant

HIM: Oh. I thought it was just rocks on a rope

Hmmm… maybe you had to be there! But that’s just how we are!! LOL!!

Anyway…

The thing that made THIS anniversary SO damn special was because last year’s :: our first :: sucked. It such a HUGE way!

No.

Really.

S.U.C.K.E.D

Here’s my journal entry:

5 August 2008     10:43pm  Our First Anniversary

Where do I begin? Right now we should be celebrating, reminiscing .. remembering what made us fall in love.. laughing.. reliving the “aww moments.. and instead, I’m laying on the bed crying and he’s asleep.

I was SO looking forward to today.. more then you can imagine. Guess I let my hopes get too high again.. I’m so unbelievably hurt that I can’t wait to just write this down and go to sleep to end it. I thought he “got” me.. thought he understood me and how important today was to me.. and even if it wasn’t to him, it was to ME and if I’m important to him then he should have gone out of his way. Yes, he got me 2 cards and I appreciate them and I feel selfish for expecting more but dammit, there won’t be another “first anniversary”.. there’s no making htis up. The moment has passed and anything he might do to make it up to me will only come off as being out of obligation.. not because of loving me and wanting to celebrate with me.. And it doesn’t matter that I got him personalized M&Ms. I wasn’t expecting anything grand.. just something tangible.

Ironically, there’s a postcard on postsecret.com this week that said something like “… the quickest way to make me leave is by making me feel unimportant”. I could have sent that card.. it’s things like this.. and other’s.. that make me feel so UNloved and UN important.

He said before that the store is like a baby that has to be taught to stand.. well, our relationship is only a toddler that keeps falling on it’s ass. I’ve been wanting to tell him that for the last week but was waiting for today because I KNEW he wouldn’t let me down. I just knew it.. and all night I waited. Thinking about how he tortured me on my birthday.. and held out.. played it off until we came home from the store.. But the later it got, the more it didn’t seem like it… until we left the store to go get stuff at the supermarket and he said he forgot his credit card and we had to stop at the house.

I just KNEW he had something for me in the bedroom. But he didn’t and I was literally crushed.

After all the times I’ve been hurt.. this is the worst.. and I don’t know what to tell the girls at work tomorrow when they ask how tonight was.. that it’s now obvious that I was wrong about him and he’s just like every other guy? Why can’t I just have somebody who’s just as excited and appreciateve about me as I am for them? Things are different now.. and I’m devistated about it.. I really, really am.

I let you in on this not to bash him… and in reality, revisiting that was more for me then it was for you. Sometimes I need to remember that as much as we are the same, we are two very different people who have had their share of good and bad experiences with past relationships. I can’t pick and choose how I want him to be… Not like other’s here but like some other’s there..

He wasn’t made to order. He’s just Chief.

I have to remember to be fair to him because honestly, sometimes I’m not.

Although I’ll NEVER defend or justify his not getting me a gift last year, I had gotten my little dig in a few months after it happened. He told me that he looked it up on line and found that First Anniversay gifts are “paper” and he thought.. in his Chief way.. that cards made from paper were sufficient.

Sad part about this man that I love? He was sincere. Not trying to wiggle out of anything… he absolutely thought it was appropriate.

A few weeks ago, he said that he wanted ME too look up with Second Anniversary gifts are so that he wouldn’t repeat the travesty that was last year.

ME: I don’t have to look it up. Second year is jewlery.

HIM: (suspiciously) reeeaaallllyyy?

ME: Hey.. you want safe? Every year is jewelry.. ok?

HIM: No seriously.. isn’t it wood?

ME: (pointing my finger in his chest) Now look buddy.. if you think giving me the morning wood constitutes an anniversary gift then you better get your ass down to the jeweler’s now!!

We both laughed.. because.. yknow.. that’s how we roll.

Anyway.. my man did good this year!!