I’m Suing The WPCA, SPCA, ASPCA and PETA for Emotional Extortion!

Ok.. I’m done.

I’m in bed with Chief snoring next to me.. Moan-ah at the foot of the bed.. and Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy doing his neurotic OMG I HAVE TO GET UNDER THE COVERS routine and doesn’t stop until he’s all wrapped up like a burrito.

The dog’s an idiot.

The internet is not offering anything stimulating so I figured I’ll turn on the tv because that will put me to sleep in like.. 5 minutes.

I switch the channel to Discover I.D. or something like that..

So I’m watching this show and then THE commercial comes on..

The sad music..

The voice over saying, “… she watched her mother get shot and now she lives in a wooden box.”

The video showing a baby monkey in a crate..

No! NO! NOOOOOOOO!!!

The voice over saying, “.. he watched his mother get beaten to death”

The video showing a baby bear cub.. patches of hair missing.. iron collar around his neck chained to a post..

The voice over saying, “.. now he gets beaten unless he dances”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I start humming out loud, desperately trying to find the remote that’s all twisted up in the Ernie burrito..

The voice overs keep coming, “.. she saw her sisters be drown” … “he saw his mother worked to death”..

And I’m afraid to even THINK about looking at the television screen because if there’s anything.. ANYTHING.. I’m a sucker for it’s animals and seeing pictures like that.. or hearing stories like that.. or even THINKING about things happening like that make me a big puddle of weepy jello ..

I go to jump out of bed and manually change the channel but I forgot Bella is sleeping on the floor next to the bed so when I put my feet on the floor, I accidentally step on her.. and of COURSE it would be on the side where she has really bad arthritis on her hip.. so she yelps and gets up and starts hobbling..

Now I’m devastated and I’m trying NOT to step on her again as I try to get around her and her black coat in a dark room when I catch a picture of the baby donkey with it’s front leg tied to it’s back leg trying to walk and then I just LOST IT.

LOST IT!

I start the whole silent sob thing because of what’s been lasered into my brain and because of hurting Bella and of course, I’m not really silent doing anything so it wakes Chief up.

He gets all panicky because I’m crying and he’s trying to get me to tell him what’s wrong and I can’t get the words out so all I can do it point at the tv and then he gets it.

Because if there is only one thing this man knows.. he knows how I am and how I get when animals are involved.

It’s the sole reason why I’m not allowed to name the fish.

So he does his whole boo-boo face “awwww” thing and while I’m crying on his shoulder about all the cruelty in the world he tells me I’m adorable and this.. THIS.. THIS COMPASSION is the reason why he loves me so much.

And here I thought it was my hot, rockin’ body!!

I start to get over myself and apologize for waking him up and he tells me it’s fine.. and then goes on this litany of why these organizations make these commercials just to get reactions like this from pathetic people like me.

ME: Um.. wait? I’m pathetic? Didn’t you just say I was adorable?

HIM: Well.. um.. your adorable BECAUSE you’re pathetic.

ME: You’re an asshole.

HIM: I know..

ME: Good night, honey.

HIM: ‘Night, baby.

‘Cause that’s just how we roll!

Help Me Support Abused Animals.. (it’s free)

You probably noticed that I’ve been playing around with my blog themes.

The thing one does when stuck on their bed because there’s a mouse in their bedroom!

Anyway.. I found this widget called Social Vibe and one of the things you can do is have your readers click on it and the sponsor will donate something to your cause.

My cause happens to be animal abuse.. and the sponsor will donate food to help animals that have been really let down by the human race.

I know Breast Cancer is an important cause.. I know Autism is an important cause.. I know that everyone who has a magnet ribbon on their car or a rubber bracelet on their wrist knows that their cause is important.

But so are animals.. and so is the torment these innocent souls go through because someone doesn’t value them.

I’m not going to get into a philosophical debate about animals vs. man.. or whether they have souls or not.. or go to heaven when they die. Chief tried and basically I believe they have souls and will go to heaven so we’ll just agree to let me go on thinking that.

The thing is.. it breaks my heart when I hear stories or see the evidence of abuse or neglect.

I was a lonely kid growing up and my dogs literally saved me from myself. If I didn’t have them to count on.. to help me heal.. to give me the unconditional love and loyalty that wasn’t around from people then I don’t really know where I would be.

That’s as brutal and honest as I can get.

So please.. I not asking you for anything other then a few clicks and keystrokes to do something really kind for an innocent.. neglected soul.

If you don’t.. that’s okay. We all have our things in life.. but I just thought there wouldn’t be any harm in asking!