Posts Tagged ‘2009’

They say that what you’re doing at the start of the New Year is what you’ll be doing for the rest of the year.

I should just slit my wrists now and save myself a year of misery.

NOTE: I’m not really going to slit my wrists. It’s just an expression

I was sleeping at midnight. I fell alseep not because I was tired or harboring a flu…. I fell asleep because I was bored and miserable.

Chief had nodded off earlier then that :: his from exhaustion :: and at around 9, Spaz knocked on the bedroom door asking what channel the ball dropping was on.

I remember when I was a kid and my parents would have people over for New Years. Not like a big party or anything… just family or friends or neighbors popping in and out and at midnight they made sure us kids were awake and banging on pots and pans.

So I went out to the living room and set the reminder for Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Years and told Spaz that when it got near midnight to wake us up so we could watch the ball drop together.

I woke up at 12:20 with Chief snoring in my ear and Spazz asleep in front of the tv with the reminder still at the bottom.

I watched Chief sleeping for a little bit.. tears falling because this is not how I thought my life was going to wind up after finally having the guts to divorce my abusive first husband.

When I was married to the  mindless minion, I was allowed to do anything on New Years Eve. We had to be home with the dogs… it was too dangerous… too many drunk drivers on the road :: ironic since HE was arrested twice for DUI and served 77 days in jail because no one wanted to pony up the 200.00 to bail his simple ass out :: HE wanted to stay home and so WE did.

I wanted to have fun… wanted to go out and  do things.. wanted to take trips.. or go shopping.. or go visit friends or family.. celebrate birthdays …

Doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.

Chief’s at the shop now. Didn’t wake me up to wish me a Happy New Year. Didn’t try to hold me during the night. I just don’t know where this is going. That’s a lie. I do. I just don’t want to admit it.

I’ll go into this in more detail later but on Christmas Eve afternoon, Bubba wanted me to take him to Walmart to buy gifts for the crack-whore, her parents and his aunt and uncle. Things had transpired before that and I told him that I wasn’t going to take him.. he could ask Chief.

When Chief came back to the shop, Bubba mentioned it to him and Chief asked me why I was mad at Bubba. I explained I wasn’t and what my reasoning was for not wanting to take him. Chief sighed and said he would go but he had this to do and that to do and it was getting late .. blah blah blah and so I said that I was sorry if I just made his life more complicated.

He said .. matter of factly.. that whenever someone tries to make a point then his life becomes complicated. So I gave in and took him.

What IM thinking is … I’m the only one that compromises and thinks about them instead of me.

I love him.  I honestly do with my whole heart and soul.. but I really don’t know how much longer I can put up with this.

I remember this time last year. Spaz was with his crack whore mother… Weed was out partying with friends.. Bubba was conked out in his bedroom.

Me and Chief were holed up in the bedroom playing old school Galaxia on one of those 100-games tv video systems that we picked up at a flea market for 10 bucks.

I had never had so much fun and had never looked forward so much to a new year. A year I thought was going to find me more loved… more appreciated.. more the center of the universe then I already felt.

Things could only get better right?

I’ll let you be the judge of that. What follows is my 2008 Recap:


  • I got a new 12 year old car that doesn’t look anywhere near 12 years old
  • We openned our own shop
  • We got a 50 inch Plasma
  • We got a new bedroom set free
  • My cousin Deb gave birth to her first child
  • The Crack Whore was finally ordered to pay child support


  • Weed got arrested
  • Our house got robbed.. twice
  • Weed got thrown out of the house
  • Weed was let back in the house causing friction between me and Chief
  • Bubba failed 7th grade
  • Bubba is on his way to failing 8th grade
  • The boys :: and Chief :: still don’t make one little effort to keep the house clean or pick up after themselves
  • Ernie both chews something to shreds daily and leaves poop mounds all over the place
  • I didn’t get an anniversary gift
  • The crack whore continued to cause problems with her center of the universe attitude
  • The kids continue to not give a flying fuck about me or what I ask them to do
  • We openned our own shop
  • No matter how much more money we make, we’re deeper in a financial hole


  • I gained alittle more then 10 lbs. Enough so my 100 pairs of jeans are uncomfortable
  • I had to go back to wearing my old glass frames after Ernie chewed up the contemporary frames that I loved

That’s all I can think of right now. I’m sure there’s more but my subconscience is blocking them out for me.

Right now.. the kids are fighting, Chief is sleeping and I’m trying desperately to come up with something to look forward to in 2009