Archive for the ‘Bubba’ Category

One of my father’s favorite sayings was:

HOW MANY TIMES DOES A DOG HAVE TO BITE YOU BEFORE YOU STOP TRYING TO PET IT

I learn lessons the hard way.

I haven’t been posting because there’s been a lot of turmoil.. and drama.. and W! T! F!s .. and it was bad enough living it let alone blogging about it. I had to come to terms with a few things.. whether I would accept them.. or distance myself from them or have-n0-clue-which-turn-to-take because of them.

Make no mistake.. I am a fighter. But I also know not to waste strength on a losing battle. I don’t see it so much as giving up.. rather, putting my best efforts to where they are 1) wanted and 2) most beneficial to me.

I’ve wasted too much time.. too much effort.. suffered through too much heart ache to continue being miserable.

I’m generally NOT  a miserable person.. I generally make the best of thing and GENERALLY let crap go where it belongs but enough is enough.

I have some heavy decisions to make about my future.. I have decided on the important things, it’s just the logistics I have to figure out.

To those who have been following, I’m going to use this post to put the puzzle pieces together for you and fill you in on what’s been going on but I don’t think I’m going to continue doing that. For those that know my email address and want to be kept updated on the saga, feel free to write me..

So..

You all know that I put the computer on lock-down because Bubba refused to do what he was suppose to do regarding the whole cyber-school thing.

Aside from the reports that the cyber school generates.. I’ve been keeping my own log on Excel. God bless the day I fell in love with Excel!

I know exactly how much time Bubba has spent on school work .. which assignments are over due.. the length of time he’s spend on each assignment down to the second .. everything. At a glance. He might THINK he’s smart because he can get over on his parent’s, but with me? No. I just have my hands tied as to what to do about it.

Anyway..

So last Friday, I had to drive Chief up to his job to fill out some paper work or something. We left at around noon. Bubba was still sleeping because even though the computer shuts off at 11pm, he was still staying up to the early morning hours watching tv and playing video games.

We get a text message from him around 1:30pm asking for the password to the computer. I was driving and couldn’t text him back so I told Chief to tell him that he needs to do his school work first.

Now, the day before I told him that he didn’t have to do his mandatory four hours if he completed all the master tests that needed to be done. He jumped at the chance because THIS IDIOT didn’t know how many tests he actually had to complete.. and to complete them all would take WAY more then four hours.

So about 2 or 2.5 hours go by and he texts again for the password. Chief was going to give it to him but I was like Uh-Uh. No.. ask him how many tests he completed first. The response came back that he did 3.. which, you know, if I BELIEVED him would have sounded about right. I half expected him to say all of them.

I still told Chief not to give him the password.. that he needed to wait until we got home to verify his work. Chief texted him back and when Bubba didn’t text back, I thought that was weird. No begging? No pleading? Nope. Because the fucking idiot GAVE him the password.. not only did he give him the password, he also have him the ADMINISTRATOR’s password.

Honestly, if we didn’t have our seat belts on and I wasn’t on the highway, I would have beat Chief silly with a tire iron.

We finally got home a few hours later and Bubba was gone.

Of course he was. He knew what was coming.

I checked the cyber school logs and not only did he NOT do the tests.. he didn’t do ANYTHING.

Shoving the laptop screen into Chief’s face, I asked him how it felt to be lied to.. how did it feel to have a 16 year old sucker you.. repeatedly? Just how DID it feel knowing that your 16 year old son thought you were a pussy and treated you like his bitch?

I’ll tell you .. he didn’t like it at all when it was said out loud.

He went on ranting and raving about what he was going to do.. (right) What he was going to say to him (don’t hold your breath).. And how things were going to be (suuuure they are) ..

I told him that he was all big and bad venting to me but as soon as Bubba walked in the door, he was going to be a cream puff.

I actually didn’t think Bubba was going to come home that night… but he did.. well after Chief was asleep and he knew better then to try and get on the computer because HE knows ME .. and he knows that I was going to do everything short of sinking the damn think in concrete and since I was the only one up, he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask me for a goddamn password.

So Saturday morning comes.. rather, it was Saturday afternoon before Bubba rolled his lump of flesh out of bed. And as expected, Chief did say something to him about being lied to.. but, as expected, followed it by asking if he wanted him to make him something for breakfast.

That’s his MO .. act like a parent then feel guilty afterwards.

Bubba complained that it was Saturday.. Chief said that he didn’t care.. Bubba said that HE did.. (I would have popped that son of a bitch in the  mouth right then.. but that’s me) .. Chief pulled out the list of all the tests he had to complete.. Bubba complained that there was 8 hours worth of work.. Chief said to only do 4 hours.

Both of them needed to be popped in the mouth then, by my estimates.

I was in the bedroom working on a project. Chief comes in and starts watching a movie. I tell him that he needs to be out there staring over Bubba’s shoulder. Chief is confident that Bubba will do the work.

SSSS.  UUUU.  CCCC.  KKK. EEE.  RRR

Not a half hour goes by and I smell the nasty ass cologne that the Crack Whore gave Bubba for Christmas. I thought I heard the front door but the dogs hadn’t stirred so I wasn’t sure.  I get up to look and sure enough, Bubba high tailed it out of the house. Mind you, this is a BIG kid.. we have hard wood floor  that vibrate whenever he moves around so I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did his best to sneak out. May have even used the back door because it’s furthest from where we were and would explain why the dogs didn’t bark when the front door was opened.

I went back in the bedroom and casually asked Chief if he knew Bubba had skipped.

“I do now.” he answered, and then went back to watching his movie.

Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously. Are you FUCKING kidding me?

He got all cocky with me and said, “.. what am I suppose to do? Call the cops?”

No.. you simple assed idot.. YOU CALL HIS CELL PHONE AND TELL HIM TO GET HIS ASS HOME RIGHT NOW

Nope. I was told he wouldn’t answer his cell phone anyway and why get more aggravated?

Well.. simple ass.. because YOU aren’t even aggravated! I AM! You see what’s wrong with this picture?

Bubba didn’t come home Saturday night. He texted my cell at 11pm and said “.. sleeping out”.

My response?

You can run away from your responsibilities but that doesn’t make them go away. Leaving only made things worse.

No return text.

Sunday night he texted again saying that he was sleeping out. The school’s had off on Monday so I didn’t count on him coming home Sunday.

He did come home on Monday. At 10:30pm.

Chief was already asleep and I had absolutely NOTHING to say to him. I thought about it long and hard over that weekend and realized that this isn’t anything CLOSE to being a family. I know other step parents are able to discipline their spouses’ kids.. step up to the plate and be a parent.. but those have supportive spouses. I don’t.. and if Bubba’s father isn’t going to be a father.. then I refuse to be the one who lays down the hammer all the time.. when I did, I only had it thrown back in my face.

But there’s more.. because there’s always more.

Tuesday rolls around and it’s another late afternoon rise for Bubba. I had gone out for most of the afternoon and while I wasn’t planning on returning to far into the night, circumstances dictated that I returned to the house around 4 or 5. I passed Bubba on the computer to get to my bedroom and while I was getting changed, he knocked on the door and told his father that the Crack Whore was picking him up so that she can help him study for his driver’s test.

Chief responded, “.. if THAT’s what your going to do”

Bubba says it is and leaves.

He hasn’t been back to the house since.

Around 11:00 that night, I said to Chief, “.. guess Bubba isn’t coming home” and he got all defensive saying, “.. he’s at HIS MOTHER’S.” .. like that’s any better then staying at his friend’s? Because she has a computer and you know he’s going to be up all night being the Top Cop of Pretend Town .. exactly what he wasn’t allowed to do here.

Wednesday morning I went out and when I returned home, the Crack Whore had sent a text saying that she had had a long talk with Bubba and that he wasn’t going to go out driving unless he does his work and to have his social security card and birth certificate for when he goes for his permit.

Chief then tells me that he sent her a message via Yahoo and told her about Bubba and his school. Whatever.  I’m the one who knows where they’re at and guess what? You’re going to see just how spiteful a bitch I can be. Because like I said before, bigger and better have tried to roll me.. I’m not about to let a 16 year old do it.

Thursday comes and goes with Bubba doing about an hour’s worth of work.

Friday comes and goes with Bubba doing no work at all.

Saturday .. Sunday.. nothing.

Today? 8 minutes.

The Crack Whore sends a text message. I didn’t look at it, just handed the phone to Chief and told him the message was for him. She must have asked him to call her because he dialed and asked “what’s up” when she answered.

She said that Bubba wanted to go back to regular school .. that he’s been asking to go back to regular school and Chief won’t send him (lie) .. Chief told her that he did inquire but that if he went back, he was going to fail the year because he’s too far behind .. he told her that he wasn’t trying to be a dick towards him… he’s just worried about his future (when exactly did we move to dilusion-ville?) .. he told her she had to be a bitch to him about his work because the only reason why he’s there is because he can’t do what he wants to do here.

She said fine and that she was going to swing by after she went where she had to go and pick up some of Bubba’s clothes.

This was at 8pm? It’s now 4am and the clothes are still on the dining room table because she never showed.

Considering the vast amount of chemicals she ingests, do you really think she’s going to get Bubba to do his work? Do you really believe that Bubba doesn’t know that she goes into a drug induced coma leaving him free to do what he wants to do?

Are you asking the same questions I am?

Don’t bother.. you’re wasting your time and I am the expert in wasting time asking logical questions of the illogical. The answer is that she will do whatever she can do to disrupt anything in the kid’s life. I’m also expecting custody papers in the mail because you KNOW she’s not going to have him living with her and NOT try to get some monetary gain .. especially since Chief is working now. The last time Bubba stayed there, she filed for custody the next day.. so you know, I’m not going to be surprised when they arrive.

As far as Chief goes? I really don’t know why he wanted custody to begin with ..

Me? Well, I finally stopped trying to pet the dog.

Even thought I know he doesn’t realize it, our relationship has changed. I don’t have the hopes.. the dreams of the future.. the silly giddiness I used to have when being around him. Anymore I just feel regret and contempt. I don’t look at him the say way .. I’ve lost respect for him as a man and a father..

It’s time for me to go..

 

One of my favorite Judge Judy quotes is:

On your BEST day your not as smart as I am on my WORST day

Now.. I know kids think their parents are dumb.

Luckily, I’m not a parent!

I didn’t hear Bubba return to the house after spending the weekend wherever because he was blocked from the computer.

I was sleeping .. and because my sleeping patterns are screwed up, I get up in the wee hours of the morning to a quiet house and the opportunity to do what I want to do and check what I want to check.

I’m seriously reconsidering trying to get my sleep back to normal.

At any rate, I wake up at around 3:30-ish and find the television on.. the dining room and kitchen light on.. and a bunch of crap on the table.

In other words, Bubba just picked his ass up and went to bed not bothering to turn off lights or straighten out his mess.

So I go on the desktop to play some Zuma Blast because I get higher scores then when using the laptop and took the opportunity to check the parental activity report. For shits and giggles.

And boy.. did I giggle.

Because Bubba tried to log on 17 times.

Under his account.. under my account.. under Spaz’ account..

Now.. while his father uses the same password for EVERYTHING and has used the same password for YEARS.. I’m a lot smarter then that. And even though he didn’t get anywhere.. in my mind he shouldn’t have even tried because HE knows the computer was locked down until Monday.

And so.. I decided that I was going to make his life even more miserable.

I set up another account.

One without a password.

One that CAN ONLY access the online school’s website.

I used the activity report to see what websites he was on and what programs he downloaded and blocked them all.

I blocked Google and Facebook and YouTube.. and a variety of other sites.

I blocked access to programs already installed on the computer like Skype and Teen Chat and Google Voice.

I blocked search engines and  email and a whole host of other things.

The only internet access the account has is through Foxfire and I made it’s home page the online school’s web url. I removed the search engine fields from the tool bar.. I stripped own and blocked everything I possibly could.

So now he can’t do anything but school work .. he doesn’t need Google to do it .. everything is contained within the website .. if he wants to listen to music? Well, guess what? There’s a freakin’ radio sitting right on top of the computer.

And I plan on sitting at the dining room table while he does his minimum of 4 hours of school work crocheting Baby Faith’s blanket..

I can tell you right now that this is going to come between me and Chief

And I can tell you right now that I don’t give a flying fuck.

GOD I love Vista!!

So!

Remember about a week or so ago there was a confrontation at dinner regarding Bubba and his online school work?

Ok… there’s ALWAYS issues.

Touche’

At any rate .. the deal is that Spaz gets on the computer at 7pm and stays on until he’s ready to get off sometime before his bedtime at 10pm.

He can stay on five minutes.. he can stay on  until 9:59pm .. his choice. Spaz is out of the house most of the day because of school and since Bubba spends every waking moment in front of the monitor, I think that’s fair. Actually, no… it isn’t fair.. Spaz should be able to go on whenever he wants to after school because at least HE’S DOING HIS SCHOOL WORK!

Neither here nor there …

So anyway .. Wednesday night we eat dinner relatively early. We try to time it so that we’re finished by 7 and there’s no opportunity for Bubba hog the ‘puter and eat at Spaz’s time. But Wednesday we got done early and me and Chief were in the bedroom trying to fix the blinds that one of the cat’s had messed up when Spaz comes into our door way and asks his father to tell Bubba to let him on the computer.

It was 7:10pm.

Chief tells Bubba to get his ass off the computer and Bubba starts whining that he’s “… doing something”.

Chief yells that he’s “.. always ‘doing something'” and if he didn’t get off RIGHT. NOW, Chief was going to pull the plug on the computer.

Bubba did get off but not without calling Spaz a fag*ot bitch.. Chief threw down the screwdriver and went out to the living room with a few choice words for Bubba.

Me? I had had enough of this every single night so in the wee early morning, I got on the desktop and removed the passwords that Bubba and Spaz had on their accounts. I never wanted them to have their own accounts but they did and while Spaz’s password was more of a copy cat move, Bubba’s password was designed to keep everybody out of his account. He had even made himself an administrator.

Yea.. that went out the window too.

I also set time a time limit on each account so whoever was on it, the computer would shut down at 11pm. And there was nothing that Bubba could do without MY password.

So Thursday comes around and when Bubba wakes up, Chief tells him about the computer. He didn’t get ornery * surprise surprise * but he wanted to make sure that he had free reign to stay up as long as he wanted on Friday and Saturday night.

Now Friday comes.

Around 5pm, I check his online schooling log and it only showed him doing about an hour’s worth of work. I show Chief.. Chief tells Bubba and Bubba says he’ll do more.

A little while later, he asks Chief for the password of the admin account so he can do whatever. Chief asks me and before I give it up, I check his online school log again .. 27 minutes.

Chief’s not happy and let’s Bubba know it.

I wind up falling asleep and a few hours later, Chief wakes me up asking for the password on Bubba’s request again.

I gave it up because 1)I wasn’t thinking right and 2) I was still asleep enough to not feel like going online and checking his log.

But that’s ok because things happen for a reason and I’m pleasantly surprised with how this all turned out.

I wind up waking up around 3:30am .. Bubba is still up. In fact, he didn’t go to sleep until around 4:30am … but when I checked the log, it only showed him doing EIGHT MINUTES of work before he asked Chief for the password when I was sleeping.

You done did it now, Bubba!

I patiently waited until Chief woke up.. and was fully awake before I busted Bubba. And you know, I told him that as much as he makes fun of me for watching Judge Judy, he needs to watch her more because he believes everything that Bubba says even though he’s a known liar and manipulator and he never questions it.. never drills down to the truth like I do.

So I told him that I was locking down the computer until Monday and then the only thing Bubba will be able to do on Monday was his school work. EVERYTHING was going to blocked. And that’s exactly what I did..

I also put a nice little note on the computer that said:

Don’t even ask about the computer.. it’s locked down. Last night you were to do more school work and you only did 8 minutes. So since you continue to play this way and not do what you’re suppose to do, the computer is off until Monday.

I put it there because since Bubba didn’t go to sleep until 4:30, I didn’t know when he was going to wake up and me and Chief had errands to run, etc.

We happen to be in our bedroom watching a movie when he rolled out of bed. Chief jumped up and went into the dining room where the computer is at and confronted Bubba.. finishing with the fact that all he does is play a game pretending to be a cop instead of putting his nose into school work and trying to become one.

I had to laugh at that. Bubba isn’t going to be a cop like he’s not going to go into the Marines. He was only saying that because it sounded good and kept people off his back.

Bubba says that he’s going out because he can’t be on the computer so Chief picks up the phone and calls the Crack Whore to tell her that if Bubba show’s up there, he’s not allowed on the computer and why. I heard him say, “.. he’s playing you” so I’m sure Bubba had already called her and started playing his “poor me” violin.

But when Chief hangs up the phone, he tells me that SHE got a letter from the school the other day saying that Bubba had gotten an F in one of his classes and she called and told Bubba about it.

Now.. MY first response was “… why didn’t she tell YOU about it when she got it?” which,  you know, is a redundant question but needed to plant it in his head that there are things being mailed from the school going to her address that he’s not aware of.

He wasn’t dealing with that.

But Bubba is still sitting in the living room and Chief goes out to to blast him again about the F.

There’s a knock at the door and Bubba leaves with his friends.

Chief comes back in the bedroom and starts bitching and complaining about Bubba and the what not and when he was finished I said simply, “… it’s your fault” and went on to explain that Bubba knows that he doesn’t follow through with anything and all he has to do is wait it out until he becomes complacent again and Bubba gets to do what he wants.

When he said that he has a confrontation every week about Bubba and school, I told him that it shouldn’t have continued after the FIRST week.. because what was done with the computer should have been done back then instead of always giving Bubba the benefit of the doubt. Case in point, the 8 minutes. He just took him at his word that he did more work instead of checking up on it.. I also told him that it’s tough being hard on him but the ends justify the means and if he wanted a son that he could be proud of, then he was going to have to be a father to be proud of.

Mind you, I really could give a rat’s ass about Bubba and his school work and whatnot. I’m not proud that it’s gotten to this point but really, when I said I was done I meant it. Now, I’m just the mosquito buzzing around in the middle of the night making his life miserable.

If he comes out better for it .. thumbs up.

If he doesn’t.. well, he really isn’t going to amount to anything the way he’s going now so it’s not like he’s going to be disappointing me any.

And besides, it doesn’t phase me one bit whether he calls me a bitch or not.

I’ve been called worse by better.

… so a few days ago at dinner, Bubba asked if we were moving. When Chief said that we were but didn’t exactly know when, he said that he wanted to know because he wanted to get a job but didn’t want to go out looking for one if we were going to move like.. in a month or something.

Chief told him that if he wanted to get a job then to go and get a job :: and take Weed with him so HE can get a job :: because nothing is in stone right now.

He then mentioned that the Crack Whore was suppose to go down to the DMV to pick up the driver’s manual. Chief told him he could download it online but he replied that he didn’t want to read it on the computer.. :: Of course not .. it would interfer with his online game playing ::.

Chief didn’t say anything here or there about the driver’s manual and I haven’t even looked at the kid since the whole argument about school let alone say anything to him.. so I just continued eating dinner but believe me, it was all I could do to hide the smirk on my face because MY time had finally come.

You see.. MY name is on the car’s titled… MY name is on the car’s registration and MY name is on the insurance and there is NO. WAY. IN. BLOODY. HELL that this kid is driving MY car.

Revenge is definitely a sweeter dish served cold.

And Bubba clearing the dishes after dinner that night and not leaving his trash on the computer desk and pulling more then 45 minutes doing school work and going to bed at a decent hour is NOT going to change my mind. Because he’s only doing that because he wants something.

I learned the hard way that doing things that he’s suppose to do in order to get what he wants is him M.O.

After he gets it.. he goes right back to being the way that he is.

So I know that him getting his permit and learning to drive is going to come up again and I’m chopping at the bit to shoot it right down. Think any thing you want.. but I know this kid. Inside and out. Better then his parents because I’m not blinded by the fact that I carry responsibility for him being here.

And BELIEVE ME.. I got the speech all written out in my head and he is going to be told exactly why he’s not getting behind the wheel of my car.. and he’s going to be told that he better get on his knees at night and thank God that he has a mother who will let her drive HER car because she has not clue what it’s like living with him 24/7 .. and he better thank God that he has a father who refuses to see how he is being manipulated and used by him. And then, when he gets older and his parents aren’t around anymore, he better get on his knees and ask God for forgiveness for the way he acted and the way he treated me.

I’m finally done trying to make this group of misfits into a family .. my eyes are open. I’m not getting involved in his school.. I’m not getting involved in his laundry.. or his life.. or his comings and goings.

I’m through being taken advantage of. It’s that simple.

So yea.. I’m eagerly anticipating this square off because this is the ONE thing that I have absolute control over and all I can say to Chief is:

Oh. Fucking. Well!

I used the last of the toilet paper after dinner.

I also used the hidden stack I keep folded between the stack of magazines on the bathroom window sill.

They don’t read.. so they’d never find it and since toilet paper runs out faster then ice cream in this house, I always make sure I keep a little bit in case of emergencies.

Can’t figure out if we use so much of it because their asses are so big or because they just use too much of it .. “waste” is a word these boys have yet to learn.

At any rate .. an hour or so after we finished eating, I made my way to the supermarket. Not only did we need toilet paper, but the dogs needed food.. the cats needed food.. and Tide was on sale.

NOTE: I will not waste Tide on their clothes. Tide will only be used on MY clothes and MY bedding because I deserve it, dammit!

So I get everything I had to get and just as I’m about to hit the check out line, my cell rings and it’s Bubba.

I haven’t actually talked to him since the blow up at dinner the other night about his school work .. and only answered it on the off chance that it was Chief.

ME: Hello?
BUBBA: Leese?

Like who else would it be?

ME: What?
BUBBA: There’s no toilet paper.
ME: I know.
BUBBA: Well, Dad said you were at the store. Are you going to buy it or something?
ME: Am I going to steal it?
BUBBA: How long to you think you’re going to be?
ME: Until I am
BUBBA: ‘Cus I’m stuck in the bathroom.
ME: I’ll get there as fast as I can.. I’m almost done.

.. and then I s.l.o.w.l.y made my way up and down every single aisle of the market again..

And every time I remembered how the slob STILL continues to leave half his piss on the floor and not wipe it up even after he’s been told a million times? I looked for something in particular and read it’s ingredients and compared the ingredients to the store brand and then compared prices and broke the price down to cents per ounce.

And when I remembered how he leaves soda bottles and soda caps all over the house.. and empty chip bags in the desk drawer and food crumbs under the desk? I went to the card aisle and read every single New Baby card trying to decide which one.. if any.. I wanted to buy.

And when I remembered how his father told him to clean all the empty bottles and dirty dishes out of the room that I just stipped down to nothing a few weeks ago and he didn’t? I read a few articles in a few different magazines and tried to figure out just how Justin Bieber gets his hair to stay that way.

Did I also mentioned I turned my phone off?

And then I went to the bathroom in the supermarket before making my to the cashier.. and sloooowly wheeled my cart to my car and gingerly loaded the bags into it before doing well below the speed limit and coming to a full stop at every stop sign until reaching home.

I then brought all the bags in the house.. conveniently forgetting the 12 pack of toilet paper that wouldn’t fit in a bag in the back of the car.

Hey.. THEY can forget everything, right? I’m allowed to once in a while!

Chief wound up telling Spaz to run out to the car and get it.. which, because it was for Bubba.. made Spaz move even SLOWER.

And I giggled the whole time.