You know.. I have a habit of saying that I need to get paid to live my life.

I’m serious.

A check would really, really, REALLY be helpful right now!

Anyway.. ok.. so…

Reality Check.

The real kind.

WARNING: Nothing you are about to read is made up. I can assure you that I am not sitting up in my double king sized bed surrounded by over spoiled lap dogs and tons of pillows getting annoyed by my assistant who keeps bursting into my sanctuary to take calls from various people listed on the Who’s Who of The World.

I so wish.


So we’re home from our road trip and I’m absolutely dreading Tuesday. Why? Because Tuesday is when my bank processes every transaction from the weekend. And even though I’ve been literally squeaking because I am very, very cautious when spending money since we closed the store we completely had to trash my account because of the Road Trip.

I was due for an unemployment check on Wednesday.. but it’s the next to the last one so this was NOT a good time to trash the finances. Necessary, of course. Even though we didn’t spend anything we absolutely didn’t have to.. we still spent more then we thought we would.

Still, I didn’t think it was going to be ALL that bad.. I thought that we were covered because I wrote a check for the $191.00 title/tag fee for Consuela. Remember I said that I could float that because by the time it was deposited it wouldn’t clear until Wednesday when my unemployment came in?



When I dared enough to take a peek at my account online, the check had already cleared. What? Wait… WHAT?

I know for a fact that my bank doesn’t have a local branch but  I guess the notary had some type of electronic gizmo that processes checks the same way one would process credit or debit cards. I know they exist and really, in this day and age why wouldn’t you have a gizmo like that when you accept checks?

So now my account was going to get hit with way more over draft charges then I originally thought and at 35.00 a pop, I’d be lucky if I was going to be able to remain in the black when my UC check came in.

Mind you.. I am not pointing blame at anybody else or playing a violin. I take full responsibility for the things that I did to make my account a mess… I just didn’t realize how much of a mess. Fact is, after all was said and done, I had around 400.00 after my UC came through.

Ok.. so not sooo bad, right?

Honestly, it wouldn’t be except that upon returning home from the road trip I found out that I had to pay the 128.00 cable bill before the 14th to avoid shut-off. I have to keep this current for 2 reasons.. one, Bubba and the whole cyber school thing and two, we are going to need service when we move and if I keep the bill current then there isn’t an issue with just changing the address.

I also received a 3 day shut off notice for the water. That’s 124.00.

So ok.. I’m not exactly jumping through hoops here but you know, at least I have enough to pay the cable and water and we’ll just have to make due because really, what ELSE is there to do?

And then I receive a call from my landlord.

I still owe him 675.00 for December’s rent and have told him that he will get that money. I’m not trying to beat him out of it or skip town or whatever. I may not have it RIGHT NOW but I filed my tax return so I will be getting a little something back (I had requested taxes taken from my UC) .. and Chief will be getting a nice return back but we can’t file his until the end of the month because the IRS hasn’t released one of the forms he needs yet.

He asked me where we were moving and I told him, honestly, I didn’t know. My fragile house of cards had collapsed and the only thing that I could do was leave it up to God. He asked if we would have to stay in the house another month. I told him that I still owed him money for December .. how could I do that?

Then he busts out with ‘.. and for January.”



Apparently, the money that had been put up front when Chief had moved into this place was 1st month and 2 months security. This was NOT the information Chief gave me.. he told me that he put up 1st month / Last month / security.

Mind you, he got this house before I was ever in the picture and truthfully, I’m sure HE wasn’t the one who handled the transaction.. only signed where he was told to..

So now we owe our land lord ANOTHER 1400.00 for January and he told me he’d give me a call sometime next week to come see the house. Wonderful.

And it’s all getting a little too much for me to shoulder.

When I said that our little fragile house of cards had fallen, I wasn’t kidding and I wasn’t trying to get sympathy. It’s exactly the way it is.

The end of the month is fast approaching and we have no where to go.

West Virginia may be a probability somewhere in the future but it isn’t now. Even if the property was flat, it’s going to take more money then we’re going to have to build a foundation, finish paying off the double wide and paying to move it from where it’s at to where it’s going to go.

I ask you.. what the HELL were we thinking??

I’ll ask you again just for the effect.. WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING???

This whole journey from the day we closed the store has been nothing but us putting out money for places and things that never panned out..

And it’s more then a little discouraging .. especially because we are no closer to finding a place to move only now we have a lot less money to do it with..

It’s making my head spin.. keeping me up at night and doing things to my innards that are better left undiscussed.

Year ago.. when I was a kid.. there was a tele-movie on one night about a woman who found herself homeless. She did everything “right” in her life but I think her house caught on fire and for some reason it wasn’t insured or whatever .. that quick, she found herself homeless and it scared the hell out of me .. the thought that things could change in the snap of a finger ..

I thought about the movie (I think it starred Christine Laihti) in the middle of the night recently and it was all I can do to make the waterfalls keep from drenching my pillow.

Do I have the option of moving back in with my mom or with my brother? Of course.. I do have a way. “I” have a way.. but that would mean leaving my family .. and as much as I feel like I want to leave them sometimes, I really don’t.. and I wouldn’t.. not in these circumstances.

The boys could go with the Crack Whore.. no biggie. But my main concern is the dogs and cats. My mother would freak and my sister in law is high allergic. The other option is to move Conseula back to PA and possibly put it on my brother in laws property until we can get our shit together.

So I worry.. worry hard.. count down the minutes until we have to leave this house.. and then what?

Dunno .. but I do have faith.

As ridiculous as it may sound to those of you that don’t .. I know that God will take care of us and put us where we need to be when we need to be there. And while He does provide, no one said it would be easy ..

  1. amy says:

    I wish that there was something that I could do to help you out. God bless you and I think you’re right that he will help you find your way.

    Feel free to IM or email me if you need to chat

  2. Mrs.Wayne says:

    They say everything happens for a reason…and maybe it’s true. Your adventures have surely brought you and Chief closer than ever, but that isn’t going to pay the bills. I think you and Chief need to stop chasing rainbows and look for real, solid possibilities in your local area. I believe I’d let the cable get turned off too — it’s the least of your worries right now. Just my $.02

    • Me 101 says:

      Hey Sharon!

      I whole heartedly agree with the “chasing rainbows” comment .. but honestly, it didn’t seem like that’s what we were doing when we were doing it.

      If this is redundant then I apologize because I have so many damn blogs that I forget what I put where!! LoL!

      The problem with finding a job locally (and believe me, I tried as soon as I got laid off and to present) was that I needed to make a certain amount of money in order to stay in this grossly expensive house .. and since I’ve gotten laid off, I’ve been trying to find a cheaper house to rent. The problem I kept running into is that no one was willing to rent to us because I didn’t have a job and they wouldn’t consider the store’s income because it hadn’t been open long enough to trend profits.

      I did find one landlord to rent to us but what we would save (only about 100.00) would cost us more in gas (long commute to the store) and other things that would actually wind up costing us more.

      In fact, even the houses in the worst ghettos where I live were only a little bit cheaper then what I’m paying now.

      We were looking to move to an area where the cost of living was cheaper.. good idea, right? And we thought we were doing the right thing.. making the right plans.. purchasing things like the RV that would help instead of hinder.

      It didn’t work out.. for whatever reason.. and yes, I question what we were thinking at the time but hindsight is always 20/20.. I just have to deal with what’s in front of me now..

      As for the cable.. well, unfortunately, it is a necessary evil. We have only the bare minimum cable wise but the majority of the bill is internet. With everything we’re trying to do, the internet is something we can’t afford to give up. There are computers at out local library but they only allow you 15 minutes per session.

      And please, keep throwing in your 2 cents .. I appreciate the suggestions, concern and comments!

      (( hugs ))

  3. I can’t believe your water bill is so much! Ours is about $55 normally. (And we thought that was kindof high.)
    *Oh, I don’t know if I’ve commented before, but I’ve been reading for a couple of weeks. Hello. :)

    • Me 101 says:

      Hi Song!!
      Thanks for letting me know you’re here!!

      About the water bill ..

      We don’t get one monthly.. the bill is sent out quarterly. Generally what happens is you get the bill and if you don’t pay it within 5 days, they send out the cut-off notice.

      It’s a truly, truly, TRULY bizarre way of operating and when I first moved in here I was on the phone with them every month requesting a monthly bill.. and screaming at them that their whole process is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever encountered with a utility company ..

      The bottom line is that it’s an out of state company and my “division” is too small to warrant the cost of monthly statements.

      Like I said.. bizarre and I’ll never really be able to wrap my head around it so I just live with it!

      • 5 days to pay it or you get shut off, that’s pretty crazy. :(

        • Me 101 says:

          Whole heartedly agree, Song!!

          When I lived in the city, you had 15 days to pay .. plus a five day grace .. IF you were to get a shut off notice, the first one was 10 days.. then a week after the 10 days, the issued a 3 day .. so this company’s whole concept was WAY foreign to me..

  4. ChapmansRus says:

    Well I’ve definitely been where you’re at! Where everything you try seems to backfire or not pan out… or ends up costing money that you can’t afford.. Not an easy place, for sure.

    Have you considered going to any of your local churches for rent support? Explain what’s going on & what your plan is.. they may be able to help. Sometimes a local foodbank will know which churches usually help with those sorts of things…

    God is always faithful to provide our needs… and usually not in the ways we expect either :) Kepp your chin up & I’ll be praying for you!

    • Me 101 says:

      Thanks Chapman.. prayers are always welcome!!

      Truthfully, our church has so many families that are WAY needier then we are.. although things are looking bleak right now, we are blessed because we have food on our table and, for now, a roof over our heads. We also have family to go to if we felt we were truly dire. I wouldn’t want to take away from someone who is in more need of what the church can provide and who might not have the resources we have.. as small as they are.

      I know that God will give us just enough when we need it the most.. but I’m human and sometimes instead of lifting the burden up, I keep it on my shoulders.

      But thank you for your support, advice and prayer .. it is much appreciated!!

      (( hugs ))

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