Archive for August 23, 2010

.. so Saturday when we were closing the shop, Bubba walks in with the friend that he spent the week with up at Fort Blahblahblah.

Bubba asked me to tease the friend about his academic flip-flopping. I did talk to him but explained that he needs to get rid of the thought that college is just four years of partying. The partying starts AFTER college when you are able to get a good paying job.. still live with your parents and really have no responsibilities. Why take out student loans to do nothing but drink and hook up with girls? You can do that without going to college and not have a bill hanging over your head.

It seemed to c lick with him.. rather, he said that it did but who knows.

I bring this up because it was at that time when Chief told Bubba that starting Sunday him and Spaz would have a bedtime because school is starting next week and they need to get into a sleep routine instead of staying up to 3 or 4 in the morning and waking up in time for dinner.

Bubba wasn’t feeling that too much so he said that he was going to take advantage of it being Saturday night and sleep over his friend’s.

Fine. whatever.. one less dinner plate I had to worry about.

So with that backdrop.. fast forward to dinner last night.

I “remind” Chief about the bedtime at the table and Chief goes into this litany about what he expects of them and what he would not tolerate. You know.. the bullshit about getting up in the morning.. not doing the school work.. having tantrums in class.. basically doing whatever it is they want to do.. and everything I pretty much posted about last year.

He said that he didn’t want to come off as being mean or that he LIKES to punish them *cough cough* but school is important and something that (No Longer) Weed finally figured out and that’s why he’s going back to school.

I had to give him a thumbs up for the way he slid (No Longer) Weed in there..

Anyway.. towards the end of the “talk”.. Bubba said, “.. I heard this all before”.

And there in lies the crux of the whole situation.. because Bubba knows that Chief isn’t going to follow through. He said it himself a few months ago when I still believed that I could turn this family around and had a heart to heart with Bubba.

I had been silent up until that point but I knew that Chief wasn’t going to make the same distinction that I had so I said, “.. you’re right. You have heard it all before and he’s said it all before so we’ll see what happens. You (I looked at Bubba) do what you want to do and you (I looked at Chief) follow through with punishments and we’ll see what happens.”

I still really don’t think Chief understood what was being said.


So Bubba goes out and Spaz watches tv and I go into my bedroom to finish watching Season Five of House. I’m watching the clock and doing my best to keep Chief awake because I know if he falls asleep, then the 11 o’clock bedtime would just be wasted breath and just prove to Bubba that all he has to do is sit through a lecture.. agree in the right places.. and then be free to do what he wants to do.

I half expected Bubba to text me that he was sleeping out at a friends but he came home around 10:30.

Chief was snoring by 10:35.

So 11:00 rolls around and I’m NOT going out there and telling these kids to go to bed because it’s not my job. So I did something completely sneaky.

I played an old episode of Project Runway. Either the light from the tv or me getting in and out of bed and making it shake a hundred times woke him up but he did get up. He sat on the edge of the bed and I said something like, “.. figures as soon as I put on PRW you get up.”

He took a sip of coffee and smoked a cigarette. I thought he’d be going to the bathroom but instead, he turned off the nightstand light and got back into bed.

“.. you going to tell the boys it’s bedtime?”

He gave me this funny look but the got up and told the boys to get to bed. I heard them say something but didn’t quite hear what it was but he came back into the bedroom and got back into bed.

He turns off the lamp on his night stand again and says to me, “.. you should practice what your preach”

W.                T.                       F.              ?????????????????????????????????????????

The only light in the room was the glow from my laptop screen so I can’t be sure that he actually saw my face.. or the utter contempt I had on it.

.See.. I stay up late. I enjoy staying up late because that’s the only damn time that I get to do.. or watch.. what I want to. But I still get up at 6 or 7 or whatever time I HAVE to because I AM responsible where the kids aren’t.

So I said to him, “.. it’s not about what I preach it’s about what YOU preach and your kids don’t pay one ounce of attention to you as it is so if you want them to take you seriously, you have to be serious.”

And with that, I got up.. put the laptop and speakers on my radiator on my side of the bed and turned my back on him to continue watching Season Five of House.

My back is still towards him.

Even now.